RickThrivingNow
Rick ~ ThrivingNow

https://thrivingnow.com

Emotional Freedom Coach

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rick@thrivingnow.com

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Last Notes

2024-08-19 12:36:05

Boundaries ARE a co-creation that is sourced from our clarity, strengthened through confidence that what matters to us MATTERS and is not "subservient" to others.
Cathy and I so appreciate those who brought their clarity, questions, and wisdom to the workshop. We touched on potent areas that support building a thriving life for ourselves and WITH those who are compatible with an attitude of, "Absolutely, I want to survive, AND there is so much more to life!"
https://youtu.be/pL08FhmYvMQ
𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 - 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗘𝘅𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗮𝘃𝘃𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
Before reviewing this session:
1. What does "graceful exit" mean to me in the context of relationships or commitments?
2. Can I recall a time when I successfully adjusted a boundary or exited a situation or commitment? How did it feel?
3. What fears come up when I think about exiting a situation or relationship?
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗪𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱:
Boundaries aren’t just about protection; they’re fluid and honor both your guidance and others’. Imagine them as a dance that allows you to thrive and be in your heartistry.
Graceful exits aren’t about rejection. They’re about aligning with your current energy and needs. Next time you need to bow out, try saying, “Can we take a rain check? I’m feeling like I need some quiet time right now.”
Start small! Practice setting boundaries with safe people first. You don’t have to confront your scariest relationships right away. Build that muscle gradually.
Tune your sensors inward. Before you can communicate your needs, you need to know what they are. Take time to check in with yourself regularly.
Hinting and hoping isn’t savvy communication. Instead, try stating your request directly but kindly. For example: “I’m noticing I’m feeling chaotic with this conversation. Could we be quiet for a few minutes so I can regulate myself?”
Obligation often comes with rigid expectations. Try reframing it as devotion, which allows for more flexibility and love. It’s not “I’m obligated to change this diaper,” but “I’m devoted to my child’s well-being.”
When setting new boundaries, give people a heads-up. Try saying, “I want to deepen our relationship, so I’ll be speaking up about my needs more. I’d love your support in this.”
Remember: You’re not responsible for managing others’ emotions about your boundaries. It’s okay to comfort them if it’s a yes for you, but their feelings are ultimately their responsibility.
Freeing up energy sometimes means gracefully exiting situations or relationships that no longer serve you. It’s okay to recalibrate and put your energy where it matters most to you.
Boundaries for thriving are in motion – they can shift over time as you grow and change. Allow yourself the freedom to adjust your dance as needed.
If you can’t say no in the moment, it’s okay to make an excuse and address it later. The most important thing is tuning into yourself and practicing in ways that feel safe.

2024-08-13 17:40:07

Sunday: 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 - 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗘𝘅𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗮𝘃𝘃𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1386

2024-07-24 21:58:35

Perfectly Imperfect: Thriving Through Authentic Action
We covered...
* Perfectionism is a healthy aspiration that's been kicked in the ass. Recognize when you're pushing yourself too hard and recalibrate to your true aspirations.
* Embrace being a student-teacher. It's okay not to know everything – in fact, it's liberating! Say "I don't know this yet" and enjoy the learning process.
* Authentic action feels like you, even if it's awkward. It's about being congruent with your values and moving towards your aspirations.
* Notice where perfectionism traps you. Is it in social situations? At work? Identifying these areas is the first step to freeing yourself.
* Tapping (EFT) can help you navigate perfectionist tendencies. Use it to calm your nervous system and access your embodied wisdom.
* Aspire, don't require. Instead of demanding perfection, ask yourself what you're truly aspiring to in any given situation.
* Practice being "perfectly imperfect." It's not about letting go of all standards, but embracing your humanity and allowing room for growth.
* Cultivate emotional freedom by choosing your responses. You can't control everything, but you can choose how you react and what you focus on.
* Remember, you're not alone in this. We're all aspiring imperfectionists, learning to thrive through authentic action.
By exploring these concepts, you'll start to loosen the grip of perfectionism and free up energy for what truly matters to you. It's not about being flawless – it's about being authentically you. So go ahead, give yourself permission to be perfectly imperfect. Your thriving life awaits!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1380/4

2024-07-22 13:59:40

On the grading scale inflicted on me, B+ meant you were close... but failed.
Not failed like an F. But failed as in not meeting expectations for "knowing" and "performing" or even "competence." Ugh, WTF. Why do we train in such a way?!?
Because it's training not learning, growing, expressing, and thriving.
Perfectly Imperfect says to me that my perceptions — and even my misperceptions — have usefulness. My actions that lead to a "dead end" give me information. Wisdom gathered the Hard Way that is shared with others often helps us all gain Wisdom that doesn't require nearly as much pain.
So can I be satisfied with a B+ ???
No, I cannot. Because I cannot be happy on some arbitrary and judgmental scale like that.
What I can is offer my Be+
Be-ing my authentic self. Be+ to me is being who I am, what I know about myself and what matters to me, what I am curious about, what I am co-creating... and ADDING that into the We-Space. Adding Me to We.
The helps us build a thriving life for ourselves and with others.
It takes skill. It takes getting beyond our "training" into our freedom and heartistry. Imperfectly. Which is just... perfect.
Want to explore this with us? We're getting together tomorrow! Consider joining us. Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1380

2024-07-21 14:53:11

𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴
Had such a vibrant time with Gene exploring a few of the Useful Concepts for Thriving.
Key insights
🧠 EFT can serve as an emotional technology to help us become aware of and upgrade the survival framework that limits us.
🧠 The concept of "𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗵" in relationships is ever-changing and dependent on context, not just past history.
🌱 Embracing 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗺 can set us free from striving for a delusion of perfection and allow for improvement in any situation.
🌍 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 emphasizes serving oneself, family, and community, shifting the focus from individual success to collective well-being.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35fkeqrrTmQ

2024-07-20 12:59:53

Have you noticed how our relentless pursuit of perfection often becomes a trap, painfully holding us back from fully expressing our authentic selves and experiencing life’s richness? Consider joining us Tuesday...
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1380

2024-07-15 01:34:28

Now & Onwards - Releasing the Old, Embracing the New
Real Skills Workshop
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1379/4
We covered…
Recognizing stale patterns: Learn to identify when past traumas or experiences have become “stale” in your life. This awareness is a useful step towards releasing old, unhelpful patterns.
Embracing the NOW: Discover techniques to ground yourself in the “now” rather than being pulled into past traumas or future anxieties.
Activation energy for change: Understand the concept of “activation energy” needed to make positive changes in your life. This insight helps you overcome inertia and move onwards with what matters to you.
Reframing “have to” into choice: Learn to transform feelings of obligation into opportunities for empowered decision-making.
Honoring your unique rhythm: Explore ways to respect your individual energy cycles and needs, as an antidote to comparing yourself to others.
Pattern interrupts: Discover actionable techniques like the “aardvark” safe word to interrupt negative thought patterns and manage overwhelming emotions in daily life.
Cultivating self-compassion: Learn to approach your emotions and experiences with kindness rather than judgment.
Embracing vulnerability: Understand the power of allowing yourself to be vulnerable and authentic in relationships.
Balancing acceptance and change: Learn to navigate the delicate balance between accepting yourself as you are and striving for positive change.
Somatic awareness: Develop skills to tune into your body’s physical sensations as a way to process emotions and release trapped energy. This body-mind connection is a powerful tool for healing.
Creating new, empowering energy directives: Learn to craft fresh, supportive stories about yourself and your experiences. This reframing can transform your relationship with your past and open new possibilities onwards into your thriving life.

2024-07-09 14:41:22

https://amzn.to/4cxWAxq
I bought this book 25 years ago. I never read it. Just the TITLE was enough.
Punished by Rewards
I’ve come a long way in letting go of the need for a gold star or yummy treat or more More MORE MONEY as a reward for putting in effort.
Still…
“They” (meaning everyone) conditioned my animal brain to seek reward… and if the reward wouldn’t come… and I wasn’t going to alternatively be punished… then WHY bother?
This limiting belief still gets activated in me (often by default).
It takes awareness and energy to shift out of this mode.
Is it happening again? Am I in the: “but why bother if I’m not going to be rewarded (or punished) in a big-enough way?”
If I am in that mode, it’s essential to my thriving to shift out of it. I do that by tuning into whether it actually MATTERS to me. How does it express who I am, who and what is precious to me? If it does not, then yeah, I am not going to bother.
If it DOES matter, then at minimum I will be nourished by putting my life energy into what matters to me (regardless of reward). It will feel different from the gold star, or “good boy!”, or yummy dessert. It will feel…
Meaning-FULL. Full of meaning.
Ful-FILL-ing. Filling me towards fullness.
That sensation is palpable. It just happens to be quieter, more subtle, than a dopamine rush (or crash).
I’m getting to a place where “reward seeking” has a similar tone to shoulding on myself. Neither activates my heartistry anymore.
Adapting to that is weird. But it is not classical procrastination. It is not classical avoidance. It’s compatible with making money but not the “driver” of it.
Exploring this feels like a core aspect to thriving. Who will we be, as humans, if – for example – we don’t “have to” work for the A+ or the paycheck. Who CAN we be if our energy is directed through freedom and doing work that matters WITH Source rather than for “rewards” of the survival kind?
Hmmmm… Mmmmm.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/punished-by-rewards/1382

2024-07-09 14:40:01

𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗮𝘆𝘀
I realized at one point that I had a gift that has significant challenges to it… and no one around me knew how to teach me to use it in rewarding ways.
Empathy.
Being an empath has profound rewards – if and only if we either are raised in a natural environment where empathy thrives (and who amongst us had THAT growing up?!?) or… we develop the skills and wisdom later in life.
On today’s morning mile, I pondered with my spirit buddy what a core skill is for an empath. Here’s a synopsis of what we explored:
Empath = emotional path.
Emotion = energy in motion
Empaths are gifted at having PATHWAYS for Energy in Motion.
Someone has big feelings? (Energy in them in motion)… we’ll have pathways to us and through us for that energy.
The skill is to develop energy skill and conscious pathways.
If someone is a people pleaser without energy skill, any “ask” can end up running rough trod over the empath. We can even feel “stepped on” like a “door mat” – right?
Empathways (“The Empath Ways”) offers us insight that we offer pathways for energy for those we are connected to. Where is the energy to flow and go?
Is it something for us to consume and transform (like we do with food and water)?
Or is it, at least at times, a pathway for the energy towards recalibration, spiritual connection, deeper wisdom, and re-established balance?
A challenge I am rising into relates towards being clearer about the energy pathways I’m offering when others are distressed.
There IS a pathway in me from frustration and disappointment to acceptance and adapting. (And yeah, also one from frustration to yelling-in-frustration. Empaths have many paths in them.)
Choosing feels… right to me. It rises to the challenge of the energies present. How shall we move with it, not in coerced fashion but in invitation.
Going onwards from where I am now, I am exploring “less mirroring, more embodying other empath-ways.” Will be interesting!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/empath-ways/1384/1

2024-07-09 14:38:54

I have a “depleting belief.” It’s depleting because when it triggers, my life forces starts depleting.
The belief is not in my head. Or, at least not JUST in my head. I know better. Still… such is the nature of limiting beliefs. We know better, and yet the dynamic still exists within us and impacts our living (and thriving).
For me, it is a reaction to a challenge. Somehow, a “challenge” means I am unprepared (like being unprepared for a test). A challenge means I failed to do (or not do) “something” (not even God knows what!) to avoid it being a challenge!
Silly, eh?
And so normal. I was trained from a child that challenges meant I was less than the A+ student, less than the competent Good and Prepared Person that I value being.
(shaking my head)
Yet, challenges are a part of EVERYONE’s LIFE! Those I know who are thriving – have challenges they engage with every day. There’s an aliveness in challenges. Crafting a thriving life is challenging. Strengthening a changing and aging body is challenging. Being of hearty and aligned service with and for others is challenging.
Lovership is challenging. Finding lovership is challenging.
Finding kinship is challenging. Maintaining and deepening kinship is challenging.
Because if there is no challenge in it, is it not…
Mundane. Uninspiring. Trivial. Demotivating.
Deadening even…
This is where my work is this week. I am seeking to take the old “reaction” around challenges being a negative indicator (even a punishment) and recast them now and onwards as being full of reward!
It’s so rewarding to RISE into these hearty challenges. I am going to tap into my strengths, activate my curiosity, and strengthen aspects of myself as I go onwards.
Notice how I am integrating “rewarding” into this fresh energy pattern. As an animal I have a reward system (you do, too). It’s practical to include that activation energy into recasting a belief from depleting… to enlivening. Into one that brings flow TO us, full-filling us.
Curious if any of y’all have a bit of this, too? Want to explore it together?
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/rising-into-our-challenges/1383

2024-07-09 14:37:11

What is a mental or physical behavior that feels “old” to you… and what is the fresh new one you intend to embrace and vitalize for your thriving now… and onwards?
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1379

2024-07-09 02:35:09

- reply

Sealed glass jam jar helps tremendously in our house in fridge.

2024-07-08 17:47:05

http://24HoursOfTapping.com
Friday 3pm EDT starts 24 hours of free tapping sessions streamed on YouTube. There will be so much goodness!
Tapping for Clutter
Tapping for Self-Acceptance
Unlock Your Abundance
The Transformative Potential of Growing Your Business
Tapping in Response to the War in Ukraine
Tapping for Difficult and High-Risk Births
What if Healing is Largely Misunderstood?
Making Tapping Accessible to All
How Childhood Trauma Impacts Us As Adults
Tap Into Your Vibrant Health
Bringing Tapping to Schools and Educational Settings
Using Tapping for Trauma and Emotional Regulation in Correctional Facilities
Tapping for Spiritual Awakening
Tapping for Male Sexual Problems
Radical Self-Love is Everything
Tapping for Shame
Tapping for Chronic Stress and Self-Care
Energizing Relationships with Tapping
How to Tap for Negative Memories...Without Talking About It
Improve Your Eyesight with Tapping
Practical Concepts for Emotional Thriving (Mine)
Tapping Into Your Authentic Self
Releasing Resistance to Peak Performance
Working Safely with Trauma

2024-06-26 12:17:05

Dancing with Wisdom: Discerning Your Yes in Challenging Times
We covered…
Dancing with Wisdom is Spontaneous and Improvisational: Unlike traditional structured approaches, dancing with wisdom involves a responsive and flexible mindset, attuned to the moment’s needs and energies.
Tuning into Subtle Energies: Rather than reacting to the loudest voices or biggest threats, wisdom can be found in the subtle, quieter signals that our body and environment provide.
Understanding and Acknowledging Fear Responses: Recognize the impact of fear and the primitive brain’s response to external threats. Acknowledge these feelings without judgment, understanding that they are natural reactions.
Grounding Techniques: Use grounding techniques such as feeling your butt in your seat, taking deep breaths, and placing a hand on your heart to connect with your body and reduce anxiety.
Mindful Media Consumption: Be aware of the fear-inducing tactics used by the media. Limit exposure to such content and approach news consumption with an objective and critical mindset.
Physical Awareness and Connection: Engage in body awareness practices, like noticing your surroundings and the physical sensations in your body, to stay grounded and present.
Slowing Down to Reduce Stress: Slow down your reactions and responses to allow your body and mind to settle, creating space for wisdom to emerge.
Body as an Antenna for Truth: Recognize that your body is an antenna for what is true and real. Pay attention to physical signals and sensations as sources of wisdom.
Co-Regulation with Others: Spend time with calm and supportive people to co-regulate your emotional state. Being in a safe and caring environment can help you drop into a more relaxed state quickly.
Inviting Gentle Wisdom: When seeking guidance, invite wisdom gently by asking open-ended questions and allowing answers to come softly without forcing them.
Embracing Discomfort: Instead of avoiding discomfort, allow yourself to sit with it and breathe through it. This can transform discomfort into a source of insight and growth.
Dancing with the Heart: Engage with your heart by placing a hand on it and acknowledging its wisdom. The heart has a strong energy field and is sensitive to internal and external states.
Tapping into Meridian Channels: Use tapping techniques to stimulate meridian channels, which can help balance emotions and provide clarity.
Using Props for Clarity: Use physical objects to represent issues or decisions, moving them around to gain a different perspective and clarity.
Gratitude for Primitive Brain’s Wisdom: Acknowledge and appreciate the primitive brain’s role in survival, while also recognizing that modern circumstances may not require such heightened vigilance.
Inviting Fresh Wisdom: Recognize that you have access to new wisdom and resources that your ancestors did not, and use this to inform your decisions and actions.
Balancing Preparation and Stress: Understand that preparedness does not always require stress. Explore ways to prepare calmly and confidently.
Dancing with the Rhythms of Life: Tune into the rhythms of your life and body, whether slow and steady or more energetic, to access different aspects of wisdom.
Co-Creating with the Environment: Engage with your environment in a way that supports your well-being, whether it’s finding a peaceful spot in nature or a cozy corner in a café.
Trusting Small, Subtle Movements: Trust small, subtle movements and decisions, rather than waiting for big, obvious signs. This can guide you gently in the right direction.
Discernment Over Judgment: Focus on discerning your ‘yes’ in challenging times rather than making rigid decisions or judgments. This allows for a more flexible and adaptive approach.
Balancing Generous ‘Yes’ and Healthy Boundaries: Practice saying a generous ‘yes’ while maintaining healthy boundaries to prevent resentment and burnout.
Engaging with Guilt as a Poor Dance Partner: Recognize that guilt is not a helpful guide. Instead, focus on what feels true and aligned with your values and integrity.
Physical Activity for Emotional Regulation: Use physical activity, such as walking or gentle exercises, to regulate emotions and access deeper wisdom.
Daily Reflection for Insight: Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on your thoughts and emotions, writing down insights to connect with your inner guidance.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1373/7

2024-06-23 13:54:03

You may KNOW what is wise for you, but do you MOVE with it? Tapping, dancing, tap dancing are ways to move with your wisdom and embody it. We’ll explore how to move with your full body wisdom on Tuesday for 𝗗𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1373/6

2024-06-20 15:20:58

When decisions get challenging, what happens in your body and mind? We’ll explore how to move with your full body wisdom on Tuesday for 𝗗𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺: 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗬𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1373/4

2024-06-04 16:35:44

𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁
Assertive energy has life force behind it. We can use that energy to write, dance, make art, and more.
Because most of us have been exposed more often to arrogance than assertiveness, it's useful to explore how to be assertive while not "running over" others.
A starting point can be to be assertive first with consent. If consent matters to you, check in first. "I'd love to explore something that matters to me. Is (what matters) interesting to you? Is now a good time?"
Consent has its own dialect and vocabulary. It's an evolving exploration, too. By asking, however awkwardly, we are radiating respect for the person(s) being asked. We are not assuming that because something is important to us it is (or "should be") important to them, too. Or that now is the right moment.
Respect extends to their freedom, too — especially their freedom to NOT get excited and even to not "get it."
If you want to amp up your assertiveness, try boosting your energy around consent and respect for freedom, too. The combination is potent for thriving together.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/assertive

2024-06-04 16:34:40

𝗕𝗲 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗳 𝗼𝗳 𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿
What's an idea that matters to you?
Does it matter to you enough to share it?
Are you willing to explore the idea with others who hold differing perspectives?
Being assertive means putting your life energy into what matters. Yes, it is work to be assertive. It can call on your clarity and your courage. It can expose you to contrast as you share with those who don't care about what you deeply care about.
The great news is that being assertive about ideas is freeing! We're not saying, "I know best! (And if you respect me you'll agree!)" Arrogant advocacy is not what this is about.
Yes, it IS about what matters to us. But it is not personal.
Consider that co-creating matters to you. You share the concept. You invite people to be co-creators, too (with you and others in their life). Co-creating is an idea, and we assert that co-creating is a juicy fit for a thriving life! Co-creating matters to us.
Guess what… People seeking personal achievement and the hero's victory (THEIR victory) over adversity don't get excited about co-creating.
That's more than ok. That's diversity (another concept for thriving).
By being assertive, we readily discern those with interest from those don't. We're seeking congruence and engagement — not "dominance" over others (which always creates conflict and resistance).
So consider being assertive on behalf of ideas — ideas that matter to you.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/assertive

2024-06-03 15:18:01

What is meaningful self-care for your thriving? Join us for Soulful Self-Care: Balancing Indulgence and Heartfelt Compassion
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/soulful-self-care-balancing-indulgence-and-heartfelt-compassion/1372/3

2024-05-27 12:05:52

𝗥𝗲𝘄𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗟𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝘁𝗼 𝗥𝗲-𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
What We Covered:
1. Beliefs are like shortcuts - they can serve us by making it easier to navigate the world, but outdated beliefs formed when we were young or experienced trauma can also hold us back. It’s essential to re-examine and “rewire” beliefs as we grow and gain more life experience.
2. Questioning long-held beliefs can feel scary because it means admitting we don’t fully know how the world works. This triggers our survival brain, but on the other side of that discomfort is greater freedom and possibility. Be patient and compassionate with yourself through this process.
3. A key indicator that a belief is armored by trauma is when it feels illogical or overly black-and-white, like “I always fail” or “I’m too old to change.” Trauma beliefs are often formed in childhood and are reinforced by painful experiences, making them resistant to change through logic (or positive affirmations) alone.
4. To begin rewiring a limiting belief, get curious about the “because.” What experiences or messages from your past might have caused you to form this belief? Acknowledging the origin story with compassion is an important first step.
5. If a belief is stopping you from taking inspired action towards what matters to you, that’s a sign it needs updating. You can’t just think your way out of a limiting belief – you need to take small steps to have experiences that evolve it and reveal your true capabilities.
6. Appreciating a limiting belief’s positive intention, like keeping you safe, is more effective than beating yourself up. Thank the belief for its efforts, then gently open to the possibility that it may be outdated and you have outgrown the perceived threat. You’re more resilient now!
7. Beliefs rooted in trauma can narrow our perception of what’s possible. As you begin to dissolve the trauma and expand your tolerance for discomfort, whole new worlds can open up. What might become available if you were less limited by this belief?
8. There is no such thing as a “normal” path. Release the belief that you need to fit in or follow a prescribed timeline. You are a unique human with your own gifts, challenges, and natural rhythms. Let’s embrace our differences!!
9. Trying to avoid pain or discomfort takes an enormous amount of energy. As you dissolve limiting beliefs, you’ll likely discover a new lightness and vitality. Reclaiming your full self is a joyful, enlivening process.
10. Shifting limiting beliefs is courageous, challenging work. Be patient and savor each small win. Beliefs soften gradually with repeated inspired action. Each step is bringing you closer to a more authentic, thriving life.
11. Having a supportive community to cheer on your progress and lend a hand when you stumble is invaluable. Join with people who accept you as you are while encouraging your growth. You don’t have to go it alone in this process!
Remember, transformation is possible with awareness, acceptance, a dose of self-compassion, and a desire to slowly expand your comfort zone. Keep leaning in the direction of beliefs that inspire and energize you. You’ve got this!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/rewire-a-limiting-belief-to-re-inspire-action/1364/6

2024-05-19 21:23:30

Rewire a Limiting Belief to Re-Inspire Action
Real Skills Workshop: Inspired Action
Sun May 26 2024 at 5pm EDT / 2pm PDT (90 mins with a 7 min break)
We hope you’ll join us, and bring a guest!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1364

2024-05-15 14:17:40

𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗣𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻: 𝗨𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗛𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝘀 - 𝗥𝗲𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆
We covered…
1. Recognize that self-deprecating thoughts are often deeply ingrained neural pathways formed in childhood as a survival mechanism, but they can be rewired with gentle, consistent effort.
2. Notice how when you “put yourself down” you put your “status” energy down and keeps you stuck in a primitive, black-and-white mindset. Pause and question if these thoughts are absolutely true for you now.
3. Understand that self-deprecating thoughts often stem from trying to fit into a family or environment where you felt unseen or misunderstood, like a kitten raised by ducks. But now you can seek out your true “kin” who appreciate your unique qualities.
4. Be aware that constantly spinning in self put downs releases stress hormones that tax your physical and emotional health. Choosing to gradually change this pattern, even slightly, gives your body more capacity to heal and connect with others.
5. Interrupt negative self-talk with a humorous “safe word” like Aardvark, or do a simple task you know you can get right. This breaks the perfect wrongness of “I can’t do anything right” thinking.
6. Recognize that self-judgment often involves projecting your insecurities onto others. Reality-check these fears by vulnerably asking a trusted friend for feedback, like, “I’m worried I’m talking too much. Can you let me know if that’s true?”
7. Have compassion for your primitive brain that formed these patterns to keep you safe, while also knowing you have the capacity to gently update these beliefs as you grow into new experiences of your worth.
8. Affirm that even if certain people can’t appreciate your worth, it doesn’t mean you are fundamentally unworthy. You have inherent worth and values, even if you haven’t found your “kin” who reflect that back yet.
9. Build your capacity to tolerate the discomfort of growing beyond your old identity and beliefs about your limits. You can belong and be wanted as you are.
10. Reach out for support through journaling, sharing with safe people, tapping, or other modalities to release the charge of self-negating beliefs and strengthen new neural pathways.
11. Have hope that transformation is possible, even if self-deprecation has been a long-standing pattern. Your brain wants to heal, and by taking small, courageous steps, you make space for positive shifts to occur. You deserve to live from your true worth.
Remember, shifting out of self-deprecation is a gradual process of developing new skills and perspectives. Be patient and kind with yourself as you would a dear friend. With practice, you can unlock the hidden strengths and energy that emerge when you’re not constantly putting yourself down. You’ve got this!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1363/5

2024-05-15 11:23:06

- reply

Fascinating to watch as people treat AI with the same dismissiveness. And bitcoin. I've lived long enough to have memories of the same dismissiveness about "that Internet thing" too. Or Amazon. Or that first cell phone I had hardwire-installed in my car with the pigs-tail antenna. Yeah, Dismissive People dismiss things.
There's SUCH a difference between that kind of dismissal -- without any effort at deeper understanding -- and something like "Not feeling a draw to that for me right now...". Dismissives I can't really keep close to me. Just no fun and feels like it lowers my emotional intelligence.
Appreciate what you do here with us!!

2024-05-10 12:39:56

True. But the brain is an ecosystem with different aspects. Our primitive brain is focused on survival and it gets first "input" on anything and everything. It's up to use to cultivate pathways that treat fewer things as "threats" (for us to "react" to) and more as opportunities to explore and thrive ("respond" to). (Wish they taught this in kindergarten... would have helped me a lot!)
https://m.primal.net/IFKt.png

2024-05-08 13:36:51

Do you ever catch yourself saying things like "I'm not good enough" or "I can't do this"? If so, you're not alone. Join us for Stop Putting Yourself Down: Unlocking Your Hidden Strengths.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1363

2024-05-07 11:15:44

𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴… 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴
Humans have a vast base of knowledge — often gathered through pain and loss — about how to survive. We also have wisdom about thriving. It's useful to discern one from the other.
When we're in the forest, there are threats. Watch where you step! A forest has obstacles that can hurt our bodies. Beware what you eat! A forest can have berries and mushrooms that are beautiful… and deadly. Be aware all around you! A forest can have predators that can kill us… and even cute little skunks can smell up our day.
Those who have lived in a territory have wisdom about how to survive there. It's unwise to be ignorant of such wisdom, and it's dangerous to ignore it. That's wisdom for surviving.
In every human activity — sport, relationship, profession, hobby — there is wisdom for surviving. It's useful to learn such wisdom, even if we choose to consciously take risks others would not.
In the forest, there are sounds, smells, and sights! Look closely and discover wonders aplenty. Soften your eyes and take in nature in its glory. Feel how each new section of the trail changes how you move and relate to your surroundings.
What textures attract you? How does it feel when the sun breaks through the trees and shines on your heart? Notice how past death and fresh sprouts exist in the same sliver of the whole. Breathe it in. Exhale whatever you no longer need.
That is wisdom for thriving. Same forest.
Wisdom for surviving helps us confidently explore our thriving.
But what if we're short of useful wisdom on surviving in a particular place or situation? In such cases, wise guides are useful. They can help those with less depth of knowledge and experience navigate with safety… and hold space for curious exploration.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/wisdom

2024-05-06 13:40:48

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗖𝗿𝘂𝗱𝗱𝘆 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀?
A cruddy question makes us feel terrible, confused, and disempowered.
Why am I so fat?
Why did they do that?!?
Why can't I ever ____?!?
Why do they think…?!?
But why won't they?!?
Cruddy questions often are why questions.
Cruddy questions are also questions where we feel like we're guessing or imagining the answer, so it doesn't feel "good" to us to land on the answer.
The more desperate the need is to know "But Why?!?!?" the more the question itself is likely linked to unresolved trauma. Take care of the trauma and the desperate WHY lets go, and you can ask and answer useful questions instead.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/useful-questions

2024-05-06 13:39:49

What Does This Remind Me Of?
Trauma triggers are only partially about what is happening NOW. The question, "What does this remind me of?" allows the parts of us that remain unhealed from trauma to speak up.
For example, when someone criticizes you, instead of responding calmly and confidently, do you feel you better not say anything… or else!?
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝗳?
Perhaps it reminds you of a parent who would hit you if you argued with their criticism, no matter how cruel and unjust it was.
The useful question, "What does this remind me of?" allows you to become aware that your reaction now is linked to those past traumas.
Once we know what a feeling or reaction is linked to, we can use EFT Tapping to help re-cast it. We can even acknowledge (to ourselves and any understanding people in our life) that our reaction is magnified by past trauma and ask for their support and understanding.
It's also a question that has dramatically helped those of us who habitually blamed ourselves for not speaking up or being confident when the truth is we still were working on intense traumas where speaking up or being honest was unsafe.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/useful-questions

2024-05-06 13:38:46

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗔𝗺 𝗜 𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴?
When we're activated (triggered), our brain tends to get stuck in a story, an "explanation," a criticism, or a fear. By asking, "What am I noticing?" we are invited to pause.
Noticing includes what we're feeling — the sensations in our body, whether we're likely in fight, flight, or freeze, and beliefs that are activated.
Noticing includes awareness of our current level of safety. Are we under physical threat? Lions, tigers, or bears here? Do I need to leave or change my right distance to calm myself and restore my confidence?
Noticing through useful questions actively brings us back to what's alive NOW.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/useful-questions

2024-05-05 13:20:00

𝗨𝗻𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀
Think small. Slow, delicious movements. Micro-stretches. Melting. Flowing.
Yes, active exercises can be unwinding, especially for emotional stresses.
If you use sweaty activities to unwind, you're invited to check in with your body an hour later and see if it has tensions it wants to unwind with mindful movements guided by deeper listening.
If you tend to unwind by sitting, watching, listening, eating, and drinking… consider spending 3 minutes allowing your body to move — not in "dance" but in unpredictable shifts in posture and stretches as small as you can imagine.
Why? Because tensions that build up over time tend to impact the fascia (the tissue that holds us together!). Fascia responds to slower movements. Think melting more than stretching. Letting gravity slowly take more of the load.
Unwinding some aspects greatly benefits from skilled presence. The craniosacral system can hold deep tensions that a trained bodyworker can help unwind. Emotional traumas and their frozen tensions benefit from EFT Tapping together with a professional, friend, or in a group.
It's definitely not a weakness to acknowledge that some burdens are easier and safer to set down with help.
And it's wisdom often acquired through intense pain that our body-mind is designed to move to unwind… and not just at the end of the day when we're too exhausted to really pay attention.
Take a powerful pause and unwind with slow, delicious movement.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/unwinding

2024-05-05 13:19:17

𝗪𝗶𝗻𝗲, 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗲𝘀𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗹
A glass of wine after work. Or two! A little Netflix and chill. Or a binge-watch! And don't forget the cheese… with chips!
Unwinding is essential for human survival.
We unwind when we sleep. Most humans figure out that food can help unwind tension. So can TV. Alcohol. Drugs. More…
What are your typical ways to unwind?
For thriving, it is worth being aware of whether those ways support your long-term well-being… or not. To be clear, what we do to cope is not "wrong." Coping is crucial.
Once we become aware that unwinding is essential, we can look for other choices that feel more inspired and nourishing.
Combined with powerful pauses throughout the day, we are more likely to finish the workday feeling "complete" rather than "depleted." That leaves us with more energy to savor all aspects of life.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/unwinding

2024-05-04 12:05:14

𝗙𝗮𝗰𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗠𝘂𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴
Facilitating means making it easier than it would be without our skillful effort.
It's true that experts can ascertain the issue, declare the solution, and instruct on how it should be accomplished. Such one-way knowledge delivery can be useful. Expertise can indeed make lives easier and success more likely. However, the identity of The Expert often comes with arrogance and narrow-mindedness that blocks "outside" perspectives.
The student-teacher attitude takes knowledge and wisdom to the next level. Of course, the teacher in us is actively growing in ability and understanding. The generous desire to share "what the teacher knows" with others is blended with a deep curiosity about the uniqueness that is every person, culture, and situation.
We assert that student-teachers are able to co-create in ways that make it easier for everyone to thrive.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/student-teacher

2024-05-04 12:04:01

𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗦𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁-𝗧𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗲𝗿
"They are a world-class expert." How do you react to that description?
Some people are relieved. The status and authority asserted by their identity as "a world-class expert" gives them status — status over where we are. In the hierarchy, experts rule — or think they should. "Oh, thank goodness. I only trust experts!"
Hierarchy, expertise, authority… these matter to our primitive brain. Status matters to the monkey mind! "Who is the alpha? I need to submit to them unless I am challenging their authority!!"
Doesn't feel very free, does it? Doesn't feel like it leaves any room for us to have our own lived experiences, perspectives, or even concepts we apply differently than they do.
Identifying as a student-teacher strips us of that kind of "status over" others… while it invites others to co-create and share knowledge and wisdom.
Student affirms, "I am still learning, growing, exploring. If you are, too, we're students in this together. How exciting!"
Teacher declares, "I have learned aspects and am cultivating skills. I want to share — to teach — to the willing students that show up to co-create with me."
Combined as student-teachers, we are truly free to express our heartistry with curiosity and generosity.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/student-teacher

2024-05-03 12:38:27

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗨𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗳𝘁𝘀?
Uplifts are everywhere you look… in the music that stirs you… in what you touch that attracts you… in that which evokes curiosity… in anything that holds a sweet memory.
When we're stressed and overwhelmed, we can filter out ALL those things. It's like they don't even exist.
If you insist there are no simple uplifts available, we honor that your stress level is off the charts. Perhaps start with some comforts. What is something you used to enjoy in the past that you could fit into your schedule for 17 seconds (or 20 minutes) today?
Nature offers an abundance of choices, some surprising, like smelling moss or wrapping your hands around a tree. One person's uplifts are not necessarily someone else's. Pick something common that appeals to you (rocks, animals, trees, flowers, sunshine, wind… you choose) and scan for it.
Emotional uplifts are also more readily available than most imagine. If we doom scroll social media, we'll see lots to be repulsed by. Scroll with the intention of pausing at the first thing you notice that gives you a boost — and take 17 seconds to let it touch your mind, heart, and legs — and the simple uplift will be ease-fully yours.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/simple-uplifts

2024-05-03 12:37:48

𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗜’𝗺 𝗧𝗼𝗼 𝗕𝘂𝘀𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗕𝗲 𝗨𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗱!
Yes, you're too busy for something like a simple uplift.
You're working towards the Big Win!
You've got work to do and places to be!!
Absolutely. No argument.
Yet, we've noticed that busy people often fall into scrolling on social media or binge-watching videos. Why?
We assert that a lack of simple uplifts leaves our system depleted. Once depleted, we need a more intense boost. Social media and videos offer both distraction and dopamine, as do food cravings.
We are designed to thrive on simple pleasures that uplift our spirits and bathe our cells in chemicals of well-being.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/simple-uplifts

2024-05-03 12:36:29

𝟭𝟳 𝗦𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗨𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗳𝘁
Our brains actually notice many things that could please us or give us a little boost. It just filters most of them out. But why?
Most people go through life with their sensors watching out for potential threats. A dandelion growing through the pavement reaching for the sun is… not a threat. The dog poop nearby is a threat if you step on it and then have to clean up.
Next time you take a walk, anywhere, recall how many things you noticed that you did not like or that posed a threat. Then recall how many things you noticed that gave you a smile. How much attention did you give to threats vs. smiles?
The core skill here has two parts:
(1) Notice what gives you a little boost.
(2) Take time to pause, allowing what pleases you to change your body-mind.
How long does that take?
It's true that a millisecond-long smile changes us.
It's even more potent when we pause what we're doing, focus on the feeling, and allow it to influence us… to uplift us.
Yes, take a minute or two if you want.
We know that even 17 seconds can change your vibe and provide a longer-lasting uplift. It also tunes your brain to notice more and more of them!
While our primitive brain is designed to look for and avoid pain and threats (as well as mate), our whole body is nourished by essential comforts, natural beauty, useful tools, tasty food, and even a glass of water when we're thirsty.
Try pausing and letting 17 seconds go by while you savor and feel uplifted.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/simple-uplifts

2024-05-02 15:19:47

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗟𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗔𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗙𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗱
When we tend to another being with love, we are also being a steward of all the other relationships they have.
Lovers also have friends. The quality of stewardship within their lovership will impact their friends. A lover who is depleted and strained will need resources FROM their friends. A lover whose life is consciously enhanced by their partner will have resources to share WITH their friends… from a place of abundance!
Your co-workers also have friends, lovers, and pets. So do the people who are sharing the road with you.
Stewardship is not meant to be a burden. It's not that we're forced to always leave a person or landscape "better" than we found it. It's that it matters to us to be aware of how people get depleted (just like natural resources can) and seek sustainable ways of replenishing them.
Life can indeed be hard, even for those who are thriving. When our we-spaces are well-tended by those aware of stewardship and its hearty rewards, everyone's well-being improves.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/stewardship

2024-05-02 15:19:08

𝗟𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗮𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗕𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗙𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗜𝘁
We often "outsource" the tending. When we get a hotel room, we're paying someone to clean and prepare it for us and to tend to it after we leave. Those who do such tending can relate to too many stories of abuse, destruction, and theft. It's almost like many people who rent a hotel room feel entitled to take and feel no connection to those who came before or those who will come after.
Imagine you are taking your family on their first camping trip. You visited the site early in the season and knew you wanted to stay there three months later.
What if everyone who camped at that site that season depleted it? Left trash? Never bothered to clear the ashes from the fire ring? Abused the picnic table?
You arrive after a long journey to find it will take two hours just to clean up. This shared, community resource has been… depleted. Damaged.
Now, how might it be different if those who had an attitude of stewardship were there before you…
+ The campfire was not only cleared out but also ready for lighting, with a small collection of logs nearby.
+ The tent spot was free of trash and had been smoothed out.
+ A note welcomed you, wishing that you enjoy your time there as much as they did, told you about a sweet hidden swimming hole, and invited you where possible to leave the campsite even better than you found it.
For us who are devoted to co-creating a thriving lifestyle for everyone, stewardship feels like a core attitude. At the campsite, renting a home, picnicking at the park, engaging with fellow humans… if our approach is to seek where possible to enhance well-being, mutual thriving is likely.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/stewardship

2024-04-27 13:18:31

𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗦𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗳𝘂𝗹
The tiresome expression "practice makes perfect" is ready to be retired. When any action can be practiced, what comes from that practice is skill.
Real skill is grounded in knowing that practices do not have an "endpoint." What's a perfect painting? What's a perfect kiss? Even for the "master," the notion itself is a bit absurd, yet it blocks so many from being practical.
A thriving life has practices. Even spontaneity and improvisation are practices! Especially in the emotional world, our practices build awareness, depth, savvy, and resilience. These real skills let us focus our power to co-create together.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/practical

2024-04-27 13:17:45

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁'𝘀 𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝗚𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝗘𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗴𝘆
One can indeed practice suffering. Being able to endure (cope, not quit) is a kind of skill. It's a survival skill, just not a skill for thriving…
Is it possible to take something painful and turn it into a practice for thriving? Absolutely!
Take a headache. Ouch! Headaches are hard. Our primitive brain wants to fight them or run from the pain. Sometimes we collapse into helplessness.
One could…
- Be curious… what would help my body feel supported?
- Be compassionate… yes, a part of me is screaming. I can send it understanding and support it however I can.
- Be still… and drop into a deeper connection and awareness of how your energy and tissues are moving, pulsing, or tensing.
- Be asking… turning to those who care for you, and asking for specific support.
- Be free… saying no without shame to anything you're not up for right now.
All these are practical ways of cultivating a love relationship with your body and enhancing your resilience in times of physical distress.
Notice that these practices — which are possible even when we're suffering from a headache — give us energy. Relief is energy. Replenishment is energy. Loving-kindness is energy. A healthy respect for where we are and what we feel… protects our energy and lets our body heal.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/practical

2024-04-26 15:30:37

𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱… 𝗣𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁…
Ah, but people DO!
You're probably noticing that the word "should" often indicates a magical misconception. We find ourselves looking out at the world and declaring, "This is not how it should be!"
What happens to our calm confidence when we do this?
Sometimes, we get anxious, angry, or fearful — not calm.
Sometimes, we feel disempowered and helpless and despairing… because things are not as they (magically) should be!
Can you feel the trap?
Discerning when we're arguing with how people actually are and pausing can give us some space to reflect.
- I prefer when people (what?). Not everyone does or does it all the time.
- When people don't (what?) (and some people won't), I feel (how?).
I invite myself to be calm and confident… anyway. This is how it is, and it does not have to stop me from thriving.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/magical-misconceptions

2024-04-26 15:29:29

𝗜𝘁 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗕𝗲 𝗘𝗮𝘀𝗶𝗲𝗿!!
But it is not. Now what?
When we have this misconception, we're imagining a magical world where things are different. But they're not right now.
Perhaps you're tired. Perhaps you're early in the learning curve. Perhaps you've witnessed others appearing (!) to do it easier, and you feel "less than" (a threat for the primitive brain's status receptors).
Anytime we assert that it "should be easier," we are likely to "bounce off" — get distracted, avoid, quit, or hate on ourselves. Or, we'll push ourselves! Coerce, force, or feel trapped.
Ugh, this is not thriving.
With some EFT Tapping, we can accept this "unwanted reality" that it is harder than we hoped, and that's the way it is, and it's okay. We can be calm and confident… anyway.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/magical-misconceptions

2024-04-25 17:42:42

𝗪𝗵𝗼 𝗧𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀?
Many humans have given up before they even start because of a limiting belief like, "If you can't be The Best — The Winner! — it's not worth it."
But what is this belief standing on? It stands first on a belief that hierarchy is what matters — being at the top of the pyramid, the winner, the gold medalist, the champion — The Best Ever. It's true that in many cultures we still focus acclaim on those who succeed "above all others."
This limiting belief, unfortunately, suppresses thriving. Why? Because Thriving flows from an ecosystem of experiences and skills that work in synergy. Someone who sings happily in the shower may never sing on stage or for money… yet their joy can feed their heartistry in other areas.
Culture can thoughtlessly communicate such a belief. A parent, teacher, or preacher can make it explicit with edicts like:
"You do not have the body of a dancer, so don't even think about it."
"People like us don't get to do things like that."
"You'll never succeed that that. You're not smart/pretty/rich/powerful enough."
We say, "If it feels good when you dance, you're a good dancer!"
Family and cultural beliefs often do not fit the freedoms available today (and even more tomorrow!). Their truthiness comes from their usefulness for safety and survival in the past. In their archaic yet strongly held status as "what just IS," there's profound suppression of what's Possible.
It takes courage to explore the limiting beliefs we have. They can be painful! The process benefits from looking deeply, honoring how and where the belief formed in you, how it has been reinforced, and how it probably helped keep you protected and safe — even if it also diminished you.
Address how it feels in your body with a tool like EFT Tapping. Then do the hearty work of discovering and putting energy into the belief that feels more You… that contributes to your thriving… now and going forward.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/limiting-beliefs

2024-04-24 11:49:05

Do you have high standards for yourself? Great! Me, too. But are they impossibly high standards? Ones no human is likely to ever meet? If so, I’m sorry.
By that I mean I’ve been there, done that, and am still a recovering perfectionist.
Part of recovery is recognizing how saying “I’m sorry” worked for us. Did it avoid conflict? Were punishments lessened if we were quick to apologize?
What would happen if we tried, tried, tried to be “good” but someone else didn’t see us that way?
Did “I’m sorry” mean we took on the blame so the heaping shame on us would stop?
Growing up I had a really hard time with other people being disappointed in me. Mom, teachers, boss, and friends. Quickly saying I’m sorry (and dampening my energy and dimming my Light) seemed to be a tolerable way to change the situation.
But you know what? I see how sometimes parents expected us to be masters of actions and emotions in ways that were inhuman.
I mean seriously, Dad. How TF was I to know how to make the knot you demanded when you’d taught all my older brothers but not me? Of course, I tried to tell him that… but ended up saying, “I’m sorry.”
Any situations like that in your past?
Did you end up internalizing the Apologetic Perfectionist like I did?
It’s a skill to recognize this dynamic in ourselves. It’s a hard skill to tend to our default “I’m sorry” nature and make a shift to being more solid and strong… and Light… and Spacious… and Human.
Cathy and I will be hosting a real skills workshop where we, as re-calibrating over-apologists explore how to be with our human nature in a way that keeps us calm and confident.
We hope you’ll join us:
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1356/4

2024-04-24 00:04:18

The Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is used "against" us. Yes, it is part of the primitive brain. "Eat these berries NOW… or they will be gone next time you look!!" Whether a sale, deadline, or a limited offer, when our primitive brain gets triggered, we often act contrary to the lifestyle we intend.
This is why lifestyle design supports our long-term thriving. If your design includes enjoying the pleasure of having more options, choosing to save money in your Freedom Fund — instead of spending it on something because it is on sale — supports you with more choices and greater freedom in the future.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/lifestyle-design

2024-04-22 10:45:26

Kinship and the Big Yes
To feel a kinship is to feel the Big Yes. The Big Yes rises between people whose engagements produce energy, enthusiasm, and inspired action.
At times this kinship feeling can arise quickly. "Ah, we fit!" At other times, we go from yes to Yes to YES, and we feel the relationship reaches a depth where "kinship" is a more accurate description than, for example, "friendship."
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/kinship

2024-04-22 10:44:14

Been tuning myself to the 𝗙𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗞𝗶𝗻, those beings who value Freedom in "all the ways." Feels nourishing to my sense of co-creating a more thriving world to notice Us wherever we live and across all the Work That Matters that supports freedom (and safety and respect).
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/kinship

2024-04-21 14:43:54

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲
Infinite games have no "endpoint." No winner or loser is declared. The co-creating is intended to go on and on.
Yes, specific people may come and go… but the intention is for the game to continue even as it spontaneously morphs and changes to reflect what's alive for the co-creators right now.
Improvisation is fuel for the infinite game. It keeps it alive and fresh. "Rules" are replaced by healthy boundaries that allow participants to engage from yes to yes without harm or disruption.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/improvisation

2024-04-21 14:42:57

𝗕𝗲𝘆𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗖𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗼𝗴𝗿𝗮𝗽𝗵𝘆
The five-year plan is dead. Life brings shocks and surprises and unplannable contingencies. (Pandemic anyone?)
Yet, humans crave certainty! Planning helps us feel like we have a map to where we are going, even though a map doesn't show all that might happen along the route. So, if you enjoy planning, do so!
Same with choreography. A choreography tells us to start here, do this, go there, then do this, then that, move there, do that, etc. If you're developing an assembly line or a performance you intend to be as close to identical from day-to-day, choreography is helpful for sure. Everyone learns their moves in sequence. If no one breaks a leg, it's… "perfect" day-after-day.
Does that feel like thriving to you? For those of us who value freedom, scripted moves take away the moment-by-moment co-creativity that improvisation encourages.
Planning and rigid choreography can also be less resilient. Improv teaches us to be with what is right now… and respond creatively and intentionally. If something breaks or someone leaves, we continue to improvise. If the weather changes, finances are strained, or a major client leaves… we improvise!
Yes to Yes to Yes. That doesn't stop one of those yes's from being, "Let's stop and craft a plan to add some structure." An improvisational attitude takes us beyond the limits of structure into dynamic and empowered responses — individually and together.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/improvisation

2024-04-21 14:41:46

𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁
In contact improvisation dance, the co-creators will connect at a point of contact between their bodies. It could be a finger on a shoulder. It could be learning against another. It could even be falling to the ground and grabbing a leg!
The point of contact is real. SOMETHING has happened. Now what?
The "now what" is up to the co-creators of the dance. They could pause. They could keep moving. They could come closer… or move farther away. They can add points of contact… or disconnect if that is their yes.
Can you feel the immense potential in each moment?
An email or text we receive is the same — there's a point of contact. Since we're not pre-programmed (although it can feel that way sometimes), we have choices. Reply now or not? What emotional energy am I offering? Will my words be useful but abrupt? Or kind and uplifting?
As a concept for thriving, adopting an attitude of improvisation is designed to free us from expectations, habitual patterns, and stuckness. We're exploring… what is my yes here? We take that yes, move with it, and then sense our next yes… and the next.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/improvisation

2024-04-19 16:19:25

𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗛𝗼𝘂𝗿
We're naturally healing all the time. Cells are being repaired and replaced. Emotional upsets are processed (or shoved away for later). Sleep gives a chance for the brain and body time to process and unwind stresses. Food and water comfort and replenish us.
So much healing occurs without even thinking about it!
That said, so much damage and stress also occur without even thinking about it.
Imagine at the top of the hour you checked in with your heart. How's it feeling? Any distresses that are calling to be unwound?
How about your gut? How is it feeling about the relationships around you and the environment you're in right now?
Is your body asking for some nourishment? Shift in position or location?
Don't feel bad if you've yet to develop the skill of listening to your body guidance so that healing happens regularly throughout the day — rather than deferred for "later" (tomorrow? next week? next year?).
For thriving, it helps to be aware that healing is designed to be in the now. An emotional trauma that gets healing attention right after it happens might unwind in 30 minutes. Wait a decade and it may take… much longer.
Tending to our healing regularly throughout the day means we're much less likely to require a challenging healing journey later.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/healing

2024-04-19 16:18:22

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗝𝗼𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝘆
We're called to take a healing journey when we find ourselves far from well-being.
We can end up quite sick and messy if we have trauma. Sometimes, in order just to survive, we make choices to eat, drug, ignore, or endure at the expense of our long-term well-being. It happens. We're human.
While this may stoke our fears and make us believe we're in a healing _crisis_… our concept for thriving is that a healing _journey_ is called for. Journeys often call for some preparation, gathering resources, setting intentions, and getting help.
Getting Help?!? Often, in survival culture, people are expected to go it alone. In thriving culture, we recognize that healing — like any journey — benefits from cooperative support. Help can arise from teachers who can help us develop new skills and practices. Skilled practitioners who excel in holding a healing space can help us co-regulate and attune our body, nervous system, and thoughts toward restoration and replenishment.
The healing journey is yours to craft and to take each baby step along the way. Your choices, your freedom, and your body guidance are what always matter most! But that does not mean you need to do it alone (or that going it alone is a "higher" achievement).
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/healing

2024-04-16 14:44:33

"I'm sorry."
At this point in my life, I'm approaching a quarter million I'm sorry's.
It's a guess. I'm sorry I can't be more accurate.
May seem silly to some to apologize for dang near everything. Heck, some people never ever say I'm sorry!
I'm sorry they don't. Makes life with them really difficult.
You see, of all the reasons people over-apologize, I've needed to confront all of them it seems.
Sorry I'm not a more perfect coach. I try. (wink)
I've certainly come to know... my apologies have mattered to me. I've wanted to fit in. I want people to know I care... even if it's not really my fault I'm 37 seconds late to our appointment because of a fire.
I've said I'm sorry, to myself and God, just this week, for wars I have nothing to do with.
I've apologized to to people triggered by my healthy boundaries. I've said I'm sorry for "getting in someone's way" — when I was legit there first.
And I do say, "I'm sorry" to myself for taking responsibilities for other people's feelings, fears, and even their judgments.
I'm not fully healed on this front. I even find myself wanting to apologize that this email isn't as clear and concise as I'd like it to be!
What I do not apologize for is that it matters to me that empathetic, caring people continue to learn the skill of when to apologize... when to explain... and when to assert what matters with calm confidence.
...and that we do not take responsibility and apologize anymore when it isn't actually our fault.
Cathy and I will be hosting a real skills workshop where we, as re-calibrating over-apologists explore the why's and strengthen our shared resolve to be clear about what benefits from a sincere apology... and what is not.
Especially what causes us to feel weak and insecure and like we're failing at keeping everyone "happy."
We hope you'll join us, and provide financial support... and if you don't or can't... no apology necessary. Thanks for taking care of yourself. Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
Register for Breaking the Sorry Cycle: Cultivating Calm, Confidence, and Unapologetic Living...
A Real Skills Workshop for: Be Calm & Confident
When: Sun Apr 28 2024 at 5pm EDT / 2pm PDT (90 mins with a 7 min break)
Where: Zoom
Register, Resources and Community Discussion here: https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1356

2024-04-15 16:07:37

𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗸𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀
It's true that emotional skills are not industrial skills. The industrial age needed compliance and conformity — doing what the boss told you to do.
Emotional skills used to be called "soft skills." Compared to welding or accounting, they were viewed as "nice to have" skills — but certainly not necessary in order to succeed.
Times are changing. For people who want to thrive, it's the emotional skills that are becoming essential.
Real skills — like emotional self-management — have practical value because, let’s be honest: if you had to choose between co-creating with someone who was anxious and doubting and someone who was authentically calm and confident, who would you choose?
Wouldn’t that be true if picking a business partner… or friend… or lover… or someone to build your house?
We want to co-create with people who can be calm and confident. When they can't, when they are triggered or coping, we want honesty about their feelings and also a growing ability to self- and co-regulate.
Emotional skills take effort. We can become emotionally freer by practicing and using emotional technologies like EFT Tapping, meditation, circling, somatic movement, and more.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/emotional-freedom

2024-04-15 16:06:21

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝗠𝗮𝗻𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁
When our primitive brain hijacks us, it's hard on our confidence. We can find ourselves reacting in ways that don't feel like "us." It's like, "Where did THAT come from?!"
We're animals. We react. But because we're also imaginative, we can react to fears about the future, beliefs we've picked up, and associations we've made about what has hurt us in the past.
The craving to be free of these kinds of limitations and unhelpful reactions is at the core of the drive to be emotionally self-managed.
When a feeling arises, we want to know how to be with it — even if intense.
Rather than numbing out, running away, or fighting with how we feel, we can bring awareness to the thoughts and body sensations.
Rather than suppressing our feelings or pretending we don't have them, we can accept where we are and how we feel. Our feelings are real.
Rather than stay stuck, we can adapt by exploring choices. This helps us feel a bit more calm and confident.
Knowing we can make a choice and take a small step, we get to move into inspired action.
Following an action, we take a powerful pause and allow our body-mind to discover our next YES.
Emotional freedom as a concept reminds us to self-observe. Am I feeling free right now? Ahhh, I'm not! Then, it's time to tend to my emotional freedom with a dose of compassion and skill.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/emotional-freedom

2024-04-13 21:13:21

𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀… 𝗥𝗲𝗴𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗹𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗺, 𝗖𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗺, 𝗼𝗿 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝘂𝗹𝘁𝘀
If it matters to you, it's worth expressing!
Of course, people will judge what you do. You will probably judge, too.
Judgment is natural. Heartists don't stop there. We go deeper and get clearer about how our co-creativity flows toward what matters to us.
Heartistry invites us to explore a different way of being with ourselves and others.
Let's say someone writes a song that really doesn't "work" for you. You dislike it.
But what if free expression through song matters to you… what happens if you ask the heartist who wrote or performed it, "What aspect of You are you expressing through this song? What makes this matter to you?"
This re-tunes us from chronically focusing on "performance" and whether we like/dislike a result towards connecting with what matters and supporting each other in being emotionally free.
It's not that we won't judge.
It's that we don't STOP at the judgment, nor let the judgment stop us!
We go deeper. We inquire, "What matters to me here?"
We seek to take inspired actions from that place of meaning. We respect the source of our actions, honor the intentions, and keep acting from those core values.
When we do, we also co-create more freedom for everyone in the community to do the same.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/heartistry

2024-04-12 13:54:08

𝗜𝘀 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘃𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴?
Ask yourself, "Is gravity working?" — and let your body answer. This isn't an intellectual question. It is a question for your bones, your tissues, and your blood.
If you're sitting, answer the question by allowing gravity to pull you deeper into the chair. If standing, shift your weight forward/back and side-to-side… feeling the pull of the earth.
Allow gravity to work to pull your shoulders down. (When we're ungrounded, we can "float up," and our shoulder can rise towards our ears.) Relax your jaw enough that gravity can gently unwind the tension found there.
Feel gravity work in your skeleton. Muscles. Fascia. Consciously let go of a bit of your resistance, feel slightly heavier… and answer "Yes! Gravity is working! Thank goodness!"
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/grounding

2024-04-11 20:15:30

𝗗𝗼𝗹𝗽𝗵𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗗𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗯 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝗲𝘀
Flipper finds the bark of the tree irritating to his skin, and the lack of fingers or claws makes it really, really painful to climb the tree.
Cats can surf, but most hate even the idea.
Some dogs can leap high in the air and grab a frisbee. Others hurt themselves when they try.
Isn’t it time we shift to being more curious about a person’s gifts — and how they want to express their unique heartistry — without expecting that each person “should” be able to do what any other human can?
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/gifts-and-gaps
https://m.primal.net/HtuG.png

2024-04-08 14:34:50

𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗠𝗲 𝗔 𝗬𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗡𝗼𝘄
There's a version of You and Me that is a year older. And there will be 8,760 hours where we'll be choosing what that person — our Future Self — will have in their life.
What resources might we save? What skills might we hone? What relationships might we cultivate a bit more deeply?
How will our physical vitality be? Will there be progress on what matters… or not so much?
Thriving is grounded in devotion. We take inspired actions, no matter how seemingly insignificant now, for the benefit of our life to come.
It's possible to imagine that if we walk a bit more today and a bit more next month and keep that up, our Future Self will have more freedom. The extra stamina would open up paths to explore. And, after a year of morning miles, for example, our Future Self would identify as someone who "regularly moves for the pleasure in it."
Save $10 a week, and your one-year-older Future Self has a gift from you of $520 to spend however they choose. It's true $10 doesn't buy much. It's true walking a mile doesn't suddenly change our vitality.
But compounded over just a year (and not projected too far into the future), the extra freedom and enhanced thriving can be felt. If you like being generous with others, include your Future Self a year from now in your thoughtfulness. Then, collect.
Collect by noticing what you've done over the past year that matters to you now. Collect by appreciating how hard it was at times, how when you got off-track, you got back on… and here you are, now, with more options and real skills that you would NOT have without the kind-hearted, courageous efforts of your Past Selves.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/future-self

2024-04-08 00:15:13

𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗖𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗺
Let's say you want to put your heartistry where others can share in it. Yay!
And then you read a harsh, demeaning, and cruel comment directed at someone else's work — work you really like!
Days later, when you're about to post your work, you can't! You feel this panic. You're frozen and do NOT want to do this anymore!!!
Now, with real skill, you start to inquire. Using the questions, you might discover that you imagine that, after posting your work and wanting to celebrate, some jerk-face is the first to comment, and they ridicule it!
Tap tap tap.
The truth is that when we offer anything of ourselves visibly, judgment and criticism are parts of the landscape. Just as mosquitos are heavy in certain places, less in others, and none in a few special places, we can both pick and choose the spaces and access we want to offer — especially as we're building our calm confidence — and we can also explore our boundaries around criticism.
In response to such criticism, an influential thought leader, Seth Godin, says: "That's okay. I didn't make it for you." That re-frame can help A LOT!
Also, do we need to accept or even consider feedback that is NOT kind and helpful? Perhaps rotten tomatoes are best for the compost pile, not our salad.
Do you get the idea? By looking at what we're not "ready" for, we can build resilience where needed, have more confidence-inspiring frames of reference, and yeah, also heal past traumas directly related to this fresh fear.
𝙔𝙚𝙨, 𝙬𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙃𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙮!
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/fresh-fears

2024-04-06 13:54:51

𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗠𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗦𝘂𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗪𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗗𝗼 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱?
Sun is essential for plants to thrive. Yet, too much sun can kill.
Water is essential to life. Yet, too much water can kill.
When it comes to the emotional world, there are vital energies. Some we may need a lot of. Some we may need only sparingly.
Love
Connection
Recognition and Appreciation
Touch
Support
Safety
…and many, many others.
Alas, we humans do not come with tags that say "keep in full sunlight" or "best in shady, damp soil." Yet, our needs vary across a broad spectrum.
It's a magical misconception to believe that all humans have identical emotional needs. Some flourish in solitude with rare touch. Others cannot thrive without daily co-creating in person, snuggles, and sex.
The concept that we exist in a human ecosystem acknowledges we vary from one another… even as we share the same sun and drink water from the same planet. Our diversity is indeed a strength, especially when seen through the eyes of an emotional ecologist who understands that synergies are everywhere — if we look for them.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/ecosystem

2024-04-03 10:56:17

"𝗙𝗮𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗱" 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗷𝗲𝗰𝘁𝘀
In a culture that exalts accomplishments, a failed project can be hard on the psyche. A series of "failures" can sap a person of vitality and enthusiasm.
Divine filtering can be consciously activated to help with this. We can get clear on why the initiative is important to us… and also how it serves others we hold dear. We can let go of the magical misconceptions that all projects started are meant to be finished or that all finished projects benefit us most through being a "success" — in acclaim or financially.
Those practicing emotional freedom (and the awareness that comes with it) can point to multiple examples of when project "failures" have served our long-term growth and thriving.
Regrets come up most when we become aware of how much we fought, flailed, and flung up our arms in frustration when — surprise! — divine filtering was at work. We just were not yet skilled enough to discern it and trust it.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/divine-filtering

2024-04-02 11:42:26

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗔𝗺 𝗜 𝗡𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴?
Our body-mind is designed to filter out sensations and pass through the ones it has "decided" are the most important. Alas, most of the louder sensations are about survival and can evoke fear, uncertainty, and doubt.
When we take a powerful pause and ask, "What am I noticing?" …we're inviting a broader, not-just-survival perspective.
What am I noticing in my body? My limbs? My lower body? My gut? My heart? And yes, my head, too?
What emotions am I feeling in the parts of my body that I'm noticing?
Am I noticing conflict… congruence… heaviness… or lightness?
How is my inner world interacting with what is outside of me in the environment?
What's my current state of being? Do I need to shift before I am able to discern this from other perspectives?
Noticing with the intention to enhance our discernment helps us to explore the wisdom within our body's guidance system. We get to feel and interpret intuitive impulses that are much quieter and more subtle than noisy fears and doubts. A useful portal into this exploration can simply be to say to yourself… Hmmmm…. what am I noticing here? And what else?
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/discernment

2024-04-01 17:39:57

Co-Creating at Its Finest
For someone to teach, there must be students. The doctor needs patients. The author needs readers. The farmer needs hungry folks.
We are absolutely in this together. Even the most fiercely "independent" people are delusional if they think they are doing it "on their own." Our interdependence is not a weakness; it's a gift.
Co-Creating at its finest recognizes each person's contributions. Our essential human needs include a need to contribute to others, support and be supported, love and be loved… to accept and be accepted.
For our thriving, we can pierce the notion that having needs is "a sign of weakness" and meeting needs is a "burden." Our gifts and gaps are meant to interweave, activate us, and bring forth possibilities from growth and delight that we can pursue together.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/co-creating

2024-03-28 11:43:22

What Color is That Yellow School Bus?
It's yellow, of course!
Isn't it?!?!
Actually no. At least in the US and Canada, it is a color called National School Bus Glossy Yellow. It is not the primary color yellow. It is on the spectrum between yellow and orange. It's close enough that we could have called the color Mango!
However, on your computer or TV screen, which uses red-green-blue (RGB), the school bus is 100% red, 84.71% green, and 0% blue. Does this mess with your mind a bit?
We hope so… because we humans tend to create simplistic labels like "yellow" that cover a broad range of tones. Same with red. Same with people.
The Mac Book Pro display can show over 1 billion colors. How many of those would you see as "yellow" or "yellow-ish?"
If a computer screen can show that many diverse colors, far beyond what we could meaningfully label or discern, what about humans made up of over 37 trillion cells, each capable of a range of vibrations, combinations, and variations?
Our emotional energy and our thought field are capable of extraordinary range and diversity across a spectrum we have difficulty grasping. That's why there are parts of our primitive brain that create shortcuts — labels — to help us put people into discrete (and unhelpfully rigid) buckets.
Friend or Foe? It's useful to our primitive brain for survival. For thriving… not so much.
We could argue about whether the school bus is REALLY yellow or not… and both be right. When we embrace the diversity spectrum, more and more of our human beliefs, thoughts, and behaviors can be held with nuance and heartistry. It's how we can all have more freedom and inclusion while respecting our desire for safety, survival, and clarity, too.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/diversity-spectrum

2024-03-27 23:03:52

Quiet Courage: Finding Strength Together
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1345/7
https://youtu.be/J4WTQ5gW8h8
We covered…
• Recognize that simply showing up and being present, even when it’s hard, is an act of quiet courage that requires emotional labor and life force. Acknowledge and appreciate yourself for that.
• Understand that feeling awkward, incompetent, or scared when trying something new is normal and a sign that you are building new muscles and neural pathways through courageous acts. The discomfort means you are growing.
• Give yourself permission to take baby steps and opt-out if needed when facing fears. Celebrate even considering or partially attempting a courageous act. Every step matters.
• Notice when you minimize or dismiss your own acts of quiet courage. Challenge the belief that says you need to do something huge or heroic to be courageous. Small acts that align with your values take real courage.
• If appreciating yourself feels uncomfortable, explore where that resistance comes from. You may need to unlearn unhelpful beliefs about not deserving self-acknowledgment.
• When your inner experience is scared or overwhelmed, acknowledge the courage it takes just to get through each day. Survival itself requires profound quiet courage at times.
• Seek out safe spaces to be witnessed and have your quiet courage reflected back to you by others. This can be profoundly nourishing and renew your energy reserves.
• Reframe confusion as a positive sign that you are off the familiar path and building new neural pathways, rather than judging it as bad. Embrace the discomfort of growth.
• Use a cue word or phrase (like “aardvark!”) to interrupt self-deprecating thought patterns and make space for self-compassion instead. Actively build new neural pathways of self-encouragement.
• Recognize that taking inspired action, even small steps aligned with your values, is an act of courage worthy of acknowledgment and celebration.
• Notice when you are tempted to wait for a major success before allowing self-appreciation. Regularly appreciate your quiet courage in the daily journey itself.
• Your quiet courage is seen and deeply appreciated, even if others don’t always recognize it. Every time you show up, tend to yourself, or take a small step forward despite fear or discomfort, you are demonstrating profound courage.
• Building new neural pathways and skills takes awkwardness and discomfort at first, like clearing a new trail, but with practice you will develop competence and ease. Allow yourself to start small and celebrate each courageous step.
• Courage is not the absence of fear, but moving forward with what matters to you despite feeling scared or uncertain. If you feel awkward or incompetent, that’s often a sign you’re in the arena of courage.
• You may have learned to not appreciate yourself from past experiences, but you can consciously build a new pattern of acknowledging your own courage and effort, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Encouraging yourself is a powerful act of quiet courage.
• Confusion and overwhelm are signs that you’re outside your comfort zone and building new pathways. Being with those feelings is an act of courage in itself. Breathe and let yourself be seen in your courageous process.
• Sharing your experience and having it witnessed with support, even briefly, can replenish your energy and resolve to keep going. Reach out to safe people or your own inner wisdom to feel your courage reflected back to you.
• You have an inner wellspring of courage to draw upon. Reconnect to your deeper source and essential self. Courage arises naturally from what matters most to you.
• Thriving takes ongoing quiet courage. Be gentle with yourself as you practice new ways of being, tap on resistance as it arises, and allow others to support you. You are growing resilience with every step.
• Your sensitivity, empathy and willingness to keep showing up, even imperfectly, make you a courageous change agent and healer in the world. The universe needs your unique courage, dear heart!
• Appreciate the quiet courage in others and let them know you see it. We gain strength and heal together by courageously witnessing each other, normalizing the journey, and offering reflections and encouragement along the way.

2024-03-24 14:59:13

Quiet Courage is a tapestry woven from the most delicate threads of the human spirit…
…a profound expression of strength that does not roar but whispers…
…the soft glow of resilience in the darkest nights, a testament to the enduring power of the soul in the face of life’s fiercest storms…
Unlike the bold and brash valor celebrated in tales of heroism, quiet courage is the melody of the heart that continues to play even when the world turns a deaf ear…
…the courage is found in the gentle embrace of a parent who, despite exhaustion, smiles to light up their child’s world…
…the silent tears of a caregiver, giving everything to ease another’s pain, their love an anchor in turbulent seas.
Quiet courage is the heartist who bares their soul without the promise of acclaim, driven by the pure need to express what matters to them…
…and it whispers in the choices of those who stand up for what’s right when no one is watching, their integrity a silent sentinel in the night…
Quiet Courage is present in the soft but resolute voice of someone battling illness, facing each day with a bravery that doesn’t boast, but simply is…
…and in the unseen battle against inner demons, fought in the solitude of one’s mind, a struggle as formidable as any fought in the light of day.
This courage doesn’t ask for recognition or applause. It exists in the spaces between actions, in the moments of decision that shape our lives…
Yet it is also the foundation upon which great deeds are built, not with the noise of grand gestures, but with the quiet resolve of a will that refuses to be broken.
In honoring quiet courage, we acknowledge the beauty and strength of the human spirit in its most authentic form. It is a reminder that true bravery often goes unnoticed, and yet, it is the very essence of our shared humanity, a beacon of hope that guides us through the darkest nights, leading us ever onwards, together.
Cathy and I hope you’ll join us on Tuesday.
Register Now
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1345

2024-03-23 12:42:05

𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘂
Comfort foods. Yum! We call them comfort foods because they make it easier to feel warm, safe, and full of goodness.
If that is all that is on our Comfort Menu, we’re going to need to eat a lot. Comfort is an essential need. Our body craves and seeks comfort when overstressed or tired.
What if we extend the menu? What if we have 100 items on it instead of 5 foods we crave?
We start with what we know brings us some comfort. Yes, they may also bring some feelings of guilt. Still, if you turn to them for comfort (and distraction is a comfort), list them out.
Now, explore what else can help you feel more calm. Explore the senses.
What helps you feel calmer when you touch it? A furry friend? A smooth rock? A tree?
What brings more calm regulation of your body and mind when you hear it? Nature sounds? Certain specific songs?
How about smells?
Gentle movements… yoga… or stillness? (For some, meditation early on is a stretch, outside comfort. After a time, meditations might be right for your expanded menu.)
How about a nap?
Tastes, too, of course. Here, focus on whether the first taste or sip starts you feeling more calm and comfortable. Add those to the list. These can be a bit different from comfort foods, where fullness can matter more.
When we have an extensive menu of what can bring us comfort that leads to refreshment and calm, it is so much easier — when the time is right — to add just a bit of activation energy and confidence in order to re-engage with your heartistry.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/comfort

2024-03-22 11:38:33

𝗖𝗹𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 cannot come to us when we're in our Primitive Brain. This means we'll need to calm our system, regulate again, and then ground ourselves. Then we can ask our whole being…
What matters to me here?
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/clarity

2024-03-21 12:14:36

Our life energy is strengthened when we honor our Quiet Courage... and that is surprisingly difficult!
"I just did what I did. Who wouldn't??"
Call someone courageous and you're likely to get pushback.
Call yourself courageous and, eeek!, so uncomfortable!
But I see courage everyday. I get to go deep enough into someone's life experience to recognize all the places where courage (heart-mind-body-spirit energy) was required to make the choice they did...
...especially the choice to survive. Keep going. Find a way out and away if there is one.
Emotional freedom and thriving build on such courage. It's the quiet courage, sometimes hidden for decades behind stuff that looks like "going along to get along" or even hiding our true nature in order to stay safe enough (we hope).
Human-ing is hard. Quiet often super hard.
What keeps us going? Sure, some of it is the primal need to survive.
I've gotten to bear witness to the "more than survival" drive that's palpable even in extended periods of crisis.
It's the drive to contribute, to love and be loved, and be what matters. It's the knowing there's more to us than a paycheck or acclaim.
Quiet courage is needed to feel appreciation — and express it.
Quiet courage is needed to show up, again and again, for a child, parent, or any other human (including the one in the mirror) who is suffering and in distress.
Cathy and I are inviting you to explore this with us. We've come to know that yes, life will demand from us quiet courage that seems to be beyond our capacity! Yet, we're still here. Still choosing to live, laugh, and love.
In our experience, when we share with "safe-enough" people that yes, there is a LOT going on inside and around us that demands courage, we grow in strength.
The notion that "there must be something wrong with me to have to use this much courage just to get dressed" falls away. We're human. And the savvy aware and empathetic amongst us recognize that To Be Human Takes Courage... and mostly the non-flashy kind.
You can attend as our guest this coming Tuesday. We also courageously ask for financial support for this work, if your heart and wallet are aligned with that. Bless you and thank you. We hope to see you Tuesday (or on the recording).
A Real Skills Workshop for: Be Calm & Confident
When: Tue Mar 26 2024 at 830pm EDT / 530pm PDT (90 mins with a 7 min break)
Where: Zoom
Register here for Quiet Courage: Finding Strength Together: https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1345

2024-03-20 19:56:46

𝗖𝗶𝗿𝗰𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 invites us to imagine those we're engaging with as being in the geometry of a circle, each with a place, role, and unique position. It brings an attitude of inclusion (the circle can expand to fit more participants) and of co-creating in connection with one another (everyone can see everyone else) without the energetic hierarchy that comes with a "stage," head of the table, or ranked rows of seats.
+ A circle has a different kind of power — power WITH — than a traditional pyramid hierarchy (power OVER).
+ Circling encourages facilitation (making things easier) as its governance and where roles are selected and accepted based on skills, resourcefulness, and willingness rather than a structured org-chart.
+ By their inclusive geometry, circles encourage co-creating with more heartistry and reduced status-seeking and maneuvering for position.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/circling

2024-03-19 14:10:17

- reply

COFFEE Ice Cream 🤪

2024-03-18 14:35:49

𝗜 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄… 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗖𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝗪𝗵𝘆
Awareness has a language of its own. It's not just logical.
Quite often, people have a "sense" that something or someone is not a yes for them… but because they cannot explain "why" they go forward anyway.
Awareness deepens after we take a powerful pause. Go within and listen. Feel. Bring awareness to different parts of your body — head, heart, gut, groin. There's wisdom in body guidance, even if it cannot always be explained logically.
Our body has sensors that pick up energies that are not necessarily visual or auditory. Our "spidey-sense" comes from millennia of evolution in dangerous environments. Perhaps the threat isn't to life and limb… but it can be to our sense of well-being or distract us from what truly matters to us.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/awareness

2024-03-17 16:52:11

𝗖𝗮𝗹𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲
𝘼𝙡𝙡𝙤𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙜 is a part of the natural cycle of life… of relationships, of our work, and of our dreams. Yet, we're taught to PUSH.
Push forward! Drive to the finish!
Impatience often arises from such cultural attitudes. When we're waiting, it's judged as laziness or lack of decisiveness. Is it?
Once you embrace the state of allowing, you discern that before decisions, there is a healthy state of allowing clarity to come (like allowing a muddy pond to settle to become clear again after being stirred up). After an action, there's a natural pause — for a moment, an hour, or even a month — to allow our effort to reverberate and inspire our next action (when it is ripe).
Impatience can also arise out of intense yearning. In a "go for it!" culture, as soon as we have a yearning, we expect to DO IT NOW!
Allowing calms impatience. We allow ourselves to yearn — even to feel the uncomfortable activation of our deeper desire. When we allow this discomfort and are unrushed to "get rid of it," we're bringing forth a devotional energy that is much more likely to get us through the disappointments and detours along the way to meeting our yearning.
Impatience is not an empowered state of being. Allowing ourselves to be with whatever we're feeling and then calming our body and mind, we also get to build confidence and the energy to activate ourselves towards inspired action… unrushed.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/allowing

2024-03-15 23:55:16

𝗜 𝗗𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗙𝗘𝗘𝗟 𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗜𝘁!
Of course not! You're not activated yet!
We're human beings. Our state of being rules. If we're resting, it can even feel like we don't even want to do something we know we'd enjoy! Isn't that weird?
This concept of activation energy says that to go from resting to walking.. requires energy. To go from watching TV to writing an email… requires a different energy. To go from doing the accounting to writing a story… you got it! Another type of energy — another state of being.
It's a real skill to recognize the state of being we're in. With that awareness, we can ask ourselves to tune to a state of being that is a better fit for what we would like to do (or would find relief from having done).
It's easy to see this with kids when they are told it is time to go to bed, and they are clearly tired. But they have been running around. Switching to bedtime mode means activating a downshift.
Not all activation energy fires us up! We activate our rest and digest cycle in order to sleep. No matter how we're shifting — up in energy expended or down — requires an activation within us.
The more savvy we get with consciously activating the matching state of being, the "I don't feel like it" morphs into "I'm activating the energy to match up with that."
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/activation-energy

2024-03-14 19:17:25

𝗖𝗼-𝗖𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗙𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗼𝗺
For thriving, we believe that co-creating from a place of freedom brings out qualities that hierarchies diminish and destroy.
Imagine that you know you don't "have to" do what others want or demand you do. You're free to say no! That means you're free to explore the vastness of your YES.
Of course, others are free to say NO to us, too! Mutual freedom means we get to explore together:
- What do I really want to contribute?
- What resources and support would make that possible… or even Joyful?
- How does this mesh with what I'm hearing others want?
- How can I bring my resources and gifts together with theirs to make this an experience we would enjoy doing together?
Co-creating at its finest is grounded in freedom of choice and generous sharing of resources and energy in ways that are a shared YES!!
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/power-with

2024-03-10 18:07:16

Upgrading from Obligation
Are you willing to let people not be obligated to you? In order for you to feel safe, do you want to know that other people will be driven by intense shame if they don't do what they are "supposed to do"?
We get that this is a touchy subject.
We can want the freedom to decide what is a yes for us and what is not. We can intend to stay true to that, even actively assert that we're "done" with being forced to do what others tell us to do even at the cost of our health and sanity.
So what's been happening?
What seems pretty obvious is that people are so tired of obligation, they are avoiding deeper connections bound by obligations… even moving far away from family and groups that seek to insist they must (insert a long list of family and community obligations).
Moving from obligation to devotion means being, truthfully, counterculture. It means consciously crafting relationships, even with life partners and children, that seek to honor freedom… and build resilient connections that serve us from cradle to grave.
Devotion has that potential. We speak to what is important to us, to the ways we want to show up that nourish us and give our life deeper meaning. We seek congruence with others.
We explore ways a person knows they are unlikely to ever be a YES. For example:
"I'm happy most times to pick you up at the airport, even at odd hours, but I'll never cut your grass even if you're in a body cast."
Devotion isn't bothered by respecting people's limits and their needs. Obligation takes immediate offense: "What?!? I mowed your yard 6 times last summer when you were traveling and didn't charge anything for it!"
When we engage where it is truly safe for someone to say no, even to something important to us — while knowing that we're also loved and supported in other ways —we've upgraded our relationships by removing the shackles of obligation.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/devotion

2024-03-10 00:29:33

𝗜𝘁’𝘀 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲-𝗕𝗮𝗰𝗸
Life can be a stretch! But it’s not bad that life stretches us (or even that we sometimes snap). What matters for a thriving life is how (and whether) we bounce back… and whether we get stronger and more resilient through our practiced return to calm confidence.
Our neurobiology is designed to get triggered! It isn’t a defect that we get scared… or even stopped in our tracks. Lashing out is human. Avoidance helps us survive. We learn to say NO before we’re ready to say YES.
If you get scared, we invite you to learn how to recover consciously (rather than criticize yourself). If you worry about some remote possibility, look to what you need more 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 around… and build that strength!
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/resilience

2024-03-08 22:52:59

Boundaries are limits we need to honor and respect in order to love and engage together in healthy ways. 𝗕𝗲𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 embrace dynamic limits of all kinds — including physical, emotional, and energetic — so that we can cultivate resilient, thriving relationships.
Boundaries often need to be consciously upgraded — made better! — from what we were taught we "should do" or "have to do." Better Boundaries bring clear choices and mutual agreements that feel safe, respectful, and sustainable.
Builds up less resentment (especially for those who are generous-hearted and empathetic)
Improves emotional resilience with less depletion and distress
Encourages healthier dynamics
Clarifies individual and shared values
Models behaviors that are health-promoting from behaviors that are depleting, disempowering, and dysfunctional
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/better-boundaries

2024-03-06 14:46:48

𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗔𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀
We expect things to happen a certain way. If the front door was always left unlocked and we found it locked and had no key, who wouldn’t emotionally react?
Indeed, the expression “take for granted” is all about expectations. A person is never angry… except that one time… and everyone who expected them to always be kind and go along is shocked when they are angry! Same with the person who always does the dishes, takes out the trash, and works weekends to finish the project.
For efficiency, the human brain creates expectations. They are shortcuts.
It’s a problem, though, if we want to thrive. People who are taken for granted often come to resent those situations long-term. If we expect certain behavior and don’t get it, it can feel like a betrayal (even when it isn’t).
It’s why for thriving, agreements are vastly superior to relying on expectations… especially unspoken ones.
An agreement can outline:
Who will do what and when?
What will we strive not to do?
How do we communicate when we can’t fulfill our part?
How do we change the agreement?
Is there anything we want specifically or would enjoy getting as we fulfill the agreement?
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/agreements

2024-03-05 15:38:22

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗪𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗼𝗼 "𝗜𝗻 𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗱𝘀"
We're taught to think about what we're doing, analyze the situation, and make a list of pros and cons. All this takes us into our heads.
The truth is that our head was never designed to make all the decisions alone. So often, people end up in a loop, ruminating and revisiting the same situation over and over again. Why?!?
…Because such a heady approach leaves out wise and aware parts of our body-mind and spirit! Most situations are not as clear from just the head's perspective.
Body Guidance reminds us: check-in with the heart. Ask it what matters here.
Check-in with the gut — is it picking up on something here that is not yet conscious? Is the situation reminding us of a trauma or type of relationship that does not serve us?
What does the pelvis have to say? What choice would be life-affirming? What posture would serve our survival and our thriving?
Where do I feel my connection to spirit right now and the guidance that can be tapped into from intelligent and loving energies that support my well-being?
While some people do this naturally, most of us have been so conditioned not to pay attention to body guidance that it will take practice.
Hold your heart, gut, and lower belly as you feel for any messages or indications. Trust that each part of us has useful data. A "no" doesn't always mean to say no. We have found that if your gut says no, or your heart, take a powerful pause and go deeper. Gain more clarity. Include spirit in the exploration.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/body-guidance

2024-03-04 15:25:20

But I HAVE To!
Our primitive brain can lock onto one choice and insist that if we don’t pick that one then… we’ll suffer, we’ll hurt others irreparably, or we’ll die. Yes, the primitive brain is dramatic. It also cares about survival, not thriving.
For thriving… it’s useful to keep exploring until we are aware of at least 5 choices. Why? To come up with five or more choices means we’re open and curious enough to see possibilities where our primitive brain was feeling trapped in a “have-to” binary decision.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/choices

2024-03-04 01:11:32

𝗦𝗮𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗗𝗲𝗰𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀: 𝗖𝗿𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗟𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲
Registration is now open!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1337
https://m.primal.net/HhUe.png

2024-03-03 15:01:21

The Powerful Pause is when we consciously take a break in the action. It gives us a chance to settle the nervous system, come out of fight-flight-freeze, and gain clarity.
The powerful pause respects that the situation and the people involved (especially ourselves!) matter enough to bring our best qualities and real skills to the engagement. We can’t do that if we’re stressed, triggered, overwhelmed, angry, wanting to run, or feeling like we can’t say NO.
If you like using the pause button when watching a video or listening to a recording, you are going to LOVE being able to use the pause in an argument or discussion or when a big decision is needed.
- In the slight “pause” between the stimulus and the response — even if only milliseconds — there is choice. (Meditation and EFT Tapping help to develop that inner pause.)
- When we say, “Stop!” we can frustrate those who need a change or decision right away. “I need a brief pause” says this is important while also allowing us to tend to biological imperatives! If our emotional system is flooded, we cannot think straight.
- People who activate the Powerful Pause feel more free and clear in their decisions. They do less harm to relationships, too, because they learn (the hard way?) that when they are defensive, frustrated, or not feeling understood plowing forward without a break doesn’t result in lasting Agreements that Work.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/powerful-pause

2024-01-22 14:01:15

Tuning into the Energy Around You - Releasing Blocks and Resistance
What We Covered:
Be Aware of Energy Sensitivity: Recognize the various energies and vibrations around you to enrich your experiences.
Acknowledge Diverse Energy Perceptions: Accept that everyone experiences energy differently, and this diversity is valuable.
View Emotions as Energies in Motion: Shift your perspective to see emotions as dynamic energies, changing how you interact with your feelings.
Tune into Subtle Energies: Pay attention to the subtle energies in your environment and within yourself for deeper insights.
Use Intention to Guide Energy: Direct the energy around and within you with your intentions for a sense of empowered influence.
Practice Energy Healing: Explore energy healing methods, such as directed healing intentions and EFT Tapping, for physical and emotional benefits.
Identify and Release Blocks: Notice your personal energy blocks and learn techniques to release them for better flow and health.
Filter Energies for Emotional Balance: Learn to filter overwhelming energies to maintain your emotional balance, especially if you’re sensitive.
Manage Energy Overload: Develop strategies like grounding or setting boundaries to handle overwhelming energy situations.
Explore Energy with Different Senses: Discover how energy can be perceived through sight, hearing, taste, and your personal “extra senses.”
Integrate Energy Awareness Daily: Incorporate awareness of energy into daily activities to enhance your emotional freedom.
Experiment with Energy: Engage in personal experimentation with energy work to find what uniquely works for you.
https://youtu.be/bNiX6UKbfxI

2024-01-17 16:48:03

Different vibes are always all around us and in us. How do we benefit from the positive vibes? We hope you’ll join us for this Real Skills Workshop on Sunday.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/tuning-into-the-energy-around-you-releasing-blocks-and-resistance/1327/4

2024-01-08 21:35:29

Stories that Hurt - Stories that Heal
We covered…
Power of Stories: Stories play a significant role in shaping our perceptions and interactions.
Perspective and Interpretation: Our personal values and our traumas and life experiences influence the stories we tell and hold as “true.”
Impact of Negative Stories: Harmful narratives affect our view of ourselves and how we relate to others.
Conscious Story Crafting: Actively choose and craft stories that support our growth and healthy interactions.
Tapping (EFT) helps to reframe and heal from hurtful stories.
Self-awareness in Storytelling: Understanding our own stories and how they interact with others’ stories helps us be more savvy and compassionate (and less triggered!) in our relating
Transforming Stories: Focus on transforming hurtful stories into healing ones through empathy and understanding and clarity about what matters to you.
https://youtu.be/cpE2PTy4U-E

2024-01-02 13:21:19

Stories. We make stuff up… like who we are… and are not.
It’s weird and wonderful to finally realize that we have the capacity to craft our own life story.
I had a story that I was a terrible dancer. I wrote the story when I was in 7th grade and it stuck with me for decades.
Then, I read another story: “If it feels good when you dance, you are a good dancer!”
Wow.
Suddenly my old story seemed archaic, incomplete, and even harmful to my joy.
I’ve witnessed what happens when old crusty stories are brought into the light, tapped on, and someone chooses to freshen their story (belief) in ways that make them smile again.
Our stories block us. Our stories can hurt us.
I’ll say that if we have a harmful story about ourselves, it’s at best partially true.
If you failed at something, does your story include your courage to even try?
If you were bullied, does your story include the tender aspects of you that could never, and would never, be cruel like that?
If trauma was the backdrop of parts of your life, who have you become since? And what has become even MORE important to you as a result of what you endured?
None of us reading this have completed our story.
Tending to our own storytelling (and recognizing when we’re storytelling) is a real skill.
We can craft stories that serve us. Indeed, we always are.
This Sunday Cathy and I will be together with those of you that want to co-create narratives that serve our thriving. Together.
Join us! We’d love to have you with us.
Register now (and also get the recording):
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/stories-that-hurt-stories-that-heal/1315/11

2023-12-16 14:10:42

We’re all born gullible. We take in beliefs and stories – no matter how disturbing. We adapt to them. Believe them!
As children we actually don’t have the capacity to discern their deeper truths and fictions.
The imperative we’re born with is: learn the environment, including the social environment. What are the stories people around us Live By?
Stories help us connect with others and make “sense” of our experiences. It’s why we’ve been telling them for thousands of years, and why they’re such a big part of culture and society.
That doesn’t mean we have to live with those stories forever! We can revise and re-do them to serve us better.
The 3-year-old’s story of Santa is different from the story my almost 10-year-old now understands. His is now the story of generosity… and magic. He’s now part of co-creating the Magic of Christmas and holding that space.
But what about stories that are sticky and icky? Stories about who we are? The pretty one… or the not pretty one? The smart one… or the one who has to struggle to keep up? The artistic one… or the one who can’t draw a stick figure? The clumsy one… or the star athlete? The DIFFICULT one… or the Good One?
The favorite? Or the one not-so-liked?
I had a guy call me a moron in an email two days ago. Hahaha. He doesn’t know that My Story is that I am savvy and smart… savvy enough to delete him from the email list without even replying!
Of course, if my identity stories were different, his words might have once again “affirmed” my harmful story about myself.
We are all gullible. It’s why it’s a real skill to lean how to detect the harmful stories we have taken in (and made up) and… re-craft them.
Wouldn’t you agree that it’s likely that I, Rick, have done something moronic in my life? Perhaps even yesterday? Yeah. But my story helps me heal from those experiences.
I wish for all of us Healing Stories… that when we goof or get hurt or are unliked by someone that, well, we can recognize that someone not liking us isn’t the same as a general story that we’re unlikable!
Even if that person was mom or dad.
But we’re born gullible, and dang, of all the inner emotional work, changing our identity stories is… complicated. Intense sometimes.
And not just childhood stories. We can make up a story about someone’s goodness and even exceptional qualities that, later, we see weren’t actually true.
“I asked for it” or “I deserved it” or “I must not be worthy” are stories, harmful ones, that are ‘useful’ sometimes to protect us from facing the real cruelty that was being inflicted on us.
My own harmful stories have stayed in me sometimes for decades… until they were ready to be re-crafted. THAT’S OKAY.
I just know, with all my heart, that stories can harm us. The ones that do… don’t feel good! They poke at our core, call for attention. They remind us, “There’s something ‘off’ about this story…”
Our harmful stories hurt. They are supposed to. The hurt we feel is NOT, however, because those harmful stories are… true.
If it really hurts to walk, maybe get better shoes… or take the rocks out of your socks and then see how walking feels…
Cathy and I know it takes both courage and the right conditions to start shifting a long-standing harmful story into one that is healing. Once you have the experience, the practice gets easier for sure.
Stories that are healing still may make us cry… but the tears are different than the tears of pain from stories that are crying out to be changed. We hope you’ll join us.
Register now (and also get the recording):
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/stories-that-hurt-stories-that-heal/1315/6

2023-12-12 15:20:14

They made up a story. It hurts even now to remember what they said… what they insisted was true.
Even though we know that’s not the full story… somehow, the story sticks even now. So so many years later.
Stories. Fairytales and Horrors.
Memorable. Too memorable.
We humans are storytellers. We also are story consume-ers. As in, we take them in like food and weave their parts into who we believe we are.
Pretend we are? Yes, if we take on fictions about us. We’re pretending we’re not miracles. Pretending we’re not good enough (for what?). Pretending that we’re broken, un-useful, unlovable, and always to blame.
The good news is I’ve noticed that we can individually and as a group co-craft fresh stories. Stories that heal. Stories that respect the journey and our innate ability to grow, change, shift, and even transform!
It’s time for stories that heal.
Cathy and I will be together with those of you that want to look at and tap on some stories that are archaic and hurtful… and tap tap tap… and give ourselves a hearty invitation to co-create a narrative that serves our thriving. Together.
Want to join us?
Register now (and also get the recording):
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/stories-that-hurt-stories-that-heal/1315/4

2023-11-24 14:02:11

How’s your relationship with money? Savvy? or no…?
Black Friday has a way of showing me my relationship with money.
In long past years, I’d be seeking out Big Deals, even if those items were not REALLY what I needed. Or even really wanted!
But our money boundaries CAN change. I added 7 years ago a boundary – I would add to my “wishlist” things that felt like a YES. I’d let them “ripen” on the wishlist for “awhile.” And I would use Black Friday (or its now extended seeming month-long time) to choose 1-2 items for me and any holiday presents I knew I’d already chosen to get.
Why!?
Because I know I am susceptible to Big Savings. Many people are! I can feel the tug, the pull, the push.
If I am going to have a Freedom Fund that is strong for my future self and my family, having money boundaries is… essential.
The proof for me is that this works. I saw 5 amazing deals in the last few days. Things that I imagine I’d enjoy having.
I did not act on them. I did, of course, save $$ on the present I wanted to get my partner. And I got myself a thicker pair of winter gloves (that maybe I’ll have my kids “give me.”)
Anyway… money is energy. It is used as a re-Source for work we’ve done and what we’ve stewarded. We exchange money for what we need and what matters to us (including supporting Beings that matter to us).
Cathy and I will be exploring how to align money boundaries with our values, how to include longer term intentions for freedom as well, and how to say NO (and YES!) to money requests. We hope you join us…
Register now to get the details and the recording.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1306/6

2023-11-19 15:30:52

I feel these as Mental Clarity, Physical Vitality, Emotional Freedom, and Spiritual Connection...
https://m.primal.net/HQhO.png

2023-11-07 20:20:41

Can you leave?
Their answer was a meak "no."
Is it a surprise the situation made them anxious? Scared? Terrified even?
Whether it's work, family, love, or what-should-be-pleasure... if we cannot leave, our primitive brain will behave like it is trapped.
A trapped human is not thriving.
It's why savvy exit strategies allow us to feel free to go, free to stay, and free to leave. Ahhh... sweet freedom.
[Avoidance is different. Avoidance says I don't have choice, so I will avoid being trapped -- no matter how much I'd like to have the experience. ]
Sometimes the exits are logisitical. Do you have a way to get home if things go sideways?
What I know is that many times the exits are blocked by emotional reasons. "What would they think? What if they get mad? I'd be too embarrassed! I couldn't take their pressure to stay."
These are emotional limits... addressing those within ourselves takes skill. It is also useful to have help.
You may not believe it yet... but you COULD leave...
If there are situations where you don't feel free to leave, or not go at all, Cathy and I invite you to join us for this workshop Sunday. Savvy exits are essential for freedom. (Or register, listen, and tap along with the recording you'll get.)
Register here for Choose to Stay, Free to Go: Savvy Exit Strategies
https://cart.thrivingnow.com/rs-next-workshop/
https://void.cat/d/HWkydh9Dm7m7Jc5ndjSQZb.webp

2023-08-09 11:32:06

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Font size. The new Damus font size slider has really helped find the sweet spot for easy reading.

2023-06-23 14:50:07

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Following what you do here. Appreciate this as a start. Trying to figure out whether what is optimal is a local WordPress tool that does this, like you have started... or something that can take and repost an RSS. Are you seeing examples of using your plugin that feel like, "Yes! That's why I did it!" yet?

2023-03-06 13:52:09

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Galoy and Kollider and others use derivatives to provide stabilized sats exchange rate. Stablesats for example tied to a fiat exchange rate. I hear from some I respect that this is really helpful in unbanked markets to meditate short term volatility.
I’d prefer such derivatives didn’t exist in the same way I’d prefer mosquitos didn’t exist. Unrealistic and how it is for me.