RickThrivingNow
Rick ~ ThrivingNow

Emotional Freedom Coach

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Last Notes

2026-01-05 21:07:18 UTC

𝗜𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗨𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘁𝘆 - 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗽
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1556
Our primitive brain craves certainty. And this can lead us into a desperate search for how to control the outcome, plan for ALL the possible unexpecteds... and even feel anxious that there is "not enough" (and we're "not enough") — even though we actually are.
Improvising is the skill of being responsive in the Now to What Is. It frees us not to have to know (or delude ourselves that we have certainty) what the future holds specifically. We get to be in it, with it, and go with the flow — but not like a leaf on a stream but rather as a powerful participant. Co-Creating.
If you look at the kid in the image, you see a human making something interesting out of a MESS. Speaking from painful experience, sometimes the mess of life offers moments of deep focus, growth, and heartistry that times of ease do not call forth.
We certainly would never wish a mess on a person or community, but we do embrace that heart-centered improvisation can lead to surprising moments of delight and long term thriving. We hope you'll join us for this exploration together.

2025-12-09 20:42:48 UTC

𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗱𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗶𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀 - 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀𝗵𝗼𝗽 𝗦𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝗗𝗲𝗰 𝟭𝟰
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1549
Gratitude is, for me, is a curious stance. It's a daily “let’s see what’s really alive here” experiment where I notice simple uplifts and explore how they land in my body.
I’m not trying to force a mood or prove any hypothesis. I’m calibrating attention like a friendly scientist, observing small moments, jotting a note, and checking in later to see how recalling moments of gratitude changes my felt sense of the day.
When approached this way—light, honest, repeatable—gratitude becomes less performance and more tuning and recalibrating, a reliable way to carry real goodness forward.
And yes, Gratitude has traditional science behind it, too.
https://blossom.primal.net/ae5e20da19ee25a17c1745fa6273555ede9af1cd6162c080b686949f956873f3.png

2025-11-06 15:34:04 UTC

Expand your mind... it takes on a different experience when it refers to your digital mind. I've been adding to my @withdelphi daily. I also use it daily to explore what matters to me and what rises in my world. How fascinating to experience ones wisdom, perspectives, and learnings flow back to nourish your mind now... by tapping into a growing repository of your own, interwoven with the wisdom of other humans, too.
For the first time in my life, there's a way for me to engage with what has come to me and through me as a professional student-teacher. I love my mind and my heart, yet they cannot in an instant connect to MILLIONS of words of my heartistry over decades. But my Delphi can. Beautifully imperfectly yet with meaningful usefulness.
That I can make "myself" available in this way to me is worthwhile enough. MORE than enough. That my Freedom Kin can also share "my mind" this way is becoming the strongest value-add in my professional work-that-matters. Those that resonate with my approaches are also resonating most deeply with my digital mind.
That's astounding to me as my "version 1.0" digital presence. I feel and hear their gratitude. It's deepening what is most meaningful in my work. A generous freedom radiates from "me" being available to be a useful buddy all day, without the constraint of my human time-space-rest limits.
If you already have your own Delphi, do grow it. Grab a voice recorder and share something that matters to you and upload that to your Delphi. Then, explore deeper with your Delphi on that subject.
If you don't have your own, consider it... especially if you have podcasts, courses, posts, and books you'd love to have more accessing for yourself (and others if you choose). I'd love to help support you in your own digital mind development. My referral link is:
https://www.delphi.ai/pricing?via=rick-wilkes
And if you'd enjoy playing together, my own digital mind is here: thrivingnow.ai - Ask it/me what matters to your Thriving... Now. Let's see where we can explore together. Appreciate you!
https://blossom.primal.net/e963bea380d22c720aae84d9bb1241e9d01a83e57fb8f3e16d5de6f83e57bbbb.png

2025-09-28 14:31:01 UTC

𝗧𝗼𝗹𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗝𝗼𝘆 - Workshop Today
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/tolerating-joy/1515
It seems strange, doesn’t it? That pleasure can be intolerable? Yet, it’s an experience. Kids “too loud” and even people being “inappropriate” when they are just… delighted with life in a place/space our primitive brain needs to be different.
I remember laughing in school and being told to “sit down and be quiet.” Any of you NEVER had your joy shut down by others who had power over you and the space?
So… for those of us with potent Well-Behaved Suppressors, developing the skill of when/where and HOW to allow joy will be core to actually enjoying your thriving life!
I won’t say I’ve figured it out. But I will say I have at least one practice that in just a month has made me a bit more joyful parent. Works outside of parenting, too.

2025-09-18 02:44:32 UTC

I'll Do It Myself… Is Not How We Thrive Together
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/ill-do-it-myself-is-not-how-we-thrive-together/1530
“𝗜’𝗹𝗹 𝗱𝗼 𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳!” Both my young daughter and my elderly mother tell me that. They say it in a very similar way. A part of me smiles that that kind of drive for independence got us as humans to walk and talk, to be able to feed ourselves… however messily at first, or however messily at the end of our days.
I’m grateful for that self-sufficiency impulse. It feels primal… really useful for survival.
And there’s a deeper wisdom when it comes to thriving...
https://blossom.primal.net/5a073401149d19d7452e7ba7c07877ef2410cefc2e0c2a8b188275c534e1ec70.png

2025-09-11 14:47:59 UTC

𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗱𝗮𝘂𝗴𝗵𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗻𝗷𝗼𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲... 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗶𝘁... 𝗼𝗿 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗹𝘆 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗼𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵... 𝗼𝗿 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗺𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁. 𝗦𝗮𝗺𝗲 𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗷𝗼𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁. 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗶𝘁 𝘃𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀.
Same goes for this moment of writing to you. If I'm clenched up "trying to write" there's no smile. Pause and unclench... my tolerance for a soft smile rises.
Tolerance? Yes. Tolerance. It's a range. How cold a shower can you tolerate? How hot a bath can you tolerate? There are physical limits (too hot and we damage our skin; too cold and we lose too much body heat). Sure, AND there are emotional limits. If I despise cold showers, I'll clench up as I feel the water: "TOO COLD!!"
Same goes with kids laughing — shouting with robust aliveness. TOO MUCH!! We grip and tense when things are too... anything. Even joy.
We also brace when we just "know" the other shoe is going to drop... on our foot, on our joy.
Can we do anything about this? Absolutely. People can condition themselves to be resilient with intention and practice. If they want to. If it matters to them.
If experiencing more Joy is something you'd like, building your tolerance for its edges is a real skill. We'll be "going there" on Sunday and we invite you to join us!
We’d love to have you join us.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/tolerating-joy/1515

2025-08-27 23:11:19 UTC

𝗥𝗲𝗴𝘂𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗼𝗹𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻.
We try to think our way through pain, plan our way out, boundary our way safe… while our nervous system is still lit up. When we’re dysregulated, everything gets framed as threat, urgency, or failure. Then even good tools feel like they “don’t work.”
When people actually feel the difference of “get present first, then choose,” things start to click. Simple, body-first moves:
* Hand on heart, feet on the floor, a softer out-breath.
* Name what’s true right now without fixing it.
* One round of gentle tapping to lower the charge enough to have options.
From there, acceptance isn’t collapse, boundaries aren’t war, and tiny actions actually stick—because the body says yes.
If you try a 60–90 second regulate-first pause before any hard conversation or decision for a week, what do you notice?
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/co-regulation/754

2025-08-25 19:34:37 UTC

𝗬𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴'𝘀 𝗘𝗱𝗴𝗲
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1514/6
Yearning isn’t a flaw; it’s activation energy. In this Real Skills Workshop, we explore how to let longing move us—without letting it cut us down. We tap together and reframe the old stories so we can respond with clarity, agency, and ease.
• Feel yearning as fuel for inspired action
• Notice the double-edge and meet the sting with kindness
• Uncouple worth from outcomes
• Treat disappointment as a signal—not a stop sign
• Tap through shutdown language and inner criticism
• Honor tender, present-moment wants
• Redirect unmet desire without abandoning yourself
• Build tolerance for big feelings, one breath at a time
• Discern true yearning vs. compulsion
• Give yourself permission to need—and to ask
• Harvest meaning from everyday moments
If your heart’s been tugging at something, come sit with us, tap with us, and let yearning lead you somewhere generous.

2025-08-06 11:12:58 UTC

https://primal.net/RickThrivingNow/when-you-dont-like-the-world

2025-07-31 15:45:22 UTC

https://primal.net/RickThrivingNow/the-shape-of-our-emotional-postures-

2025-06-04 11:35:46 UTC

Future Mapping for the Overthinker’s Soul
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1491
Sun Jun 8 2025 at 5pm EDT / 2pm PDT
Hope you'll join us!

2025-05-26 19:58:38 UTC

https://primal.net/RickThrivingNow/yes%2C-my-circus...-but-not-my-monkey!

2025-05-24 12:40:13 UTC

What's mine? What's theirs?
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/yes-my-circus-but-not-my-monkey/1487
I need a shower! Why? Because of that smell!
But what if the smell isn't mine? What if I take the shower, feel clean and fresh, and after returning to the circus ring... I smell like monkey poo AGAIN!?!
So... What's mine? What's actually theirs?!?
Smells are one thing. We learn over time and experience that when hugged by Perfumed Peggy or Cologned Colin or Pachouli Pat, we can get slimed by their overscent. Yes, shower.
Emotions are more challenging. If their monkey mind is vibrating chaos, what happens inside me? If their energy is grumpy and prickly, is a part of my body-mind "reading" them and... eeek! Matching Them?!?!
If they are carrying grief, or responsible for tending to a challenge, and I care about them, what is mine? What is theirs?
For untrained empaths, just asking this question is Life Changing. For kind and compassionate souls overwhelmed by the world's noise and pain, knowing what is YOUR circus and what are YOUR monkeys... and what are not... allows us to be Savvy Avoidant rather than hiding from energies we cannot (yet!) differentiate from.
Not saying this is easy. People with certain gifts were not encouraged differentiate to by those who benefit from our "attentiveness" (trying to please and appease in order to ease "our" pain, even if 88% of the pain is actually theirs).
Cathy and I will be exploring this tomorrow in this Real Skills Workshop. In order to heal more deeply, differentiation is essential. If you're new to this, welcome! If you've been working on it for decades and agree, as we do, that in these times it is Useful to revisit it as a group and share wisdom... we’d love to have you join us if that is your YES.

2025-05-16 12:07:54 UTC

Strength without the Strain
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/strength-without-the-strain/1488
Push it! Push it! Push it!
That chant still echoes in my bones, not just from the gym, but from the inside out. I remember watching a bodybuilder once — the weight trembling above him, his muscles bulging and giving out, the spotters swooping in to catch the bar just in time. “Train to failure,” they said. “That’s how you grow.”
And it makes sense, doesn’t it? If you’re being chased by a wild beast, you run until your body gives out. That’s how we’re wired — to survive first and foremost, not necessarily to thrive.
But what if the house we’re building isn’t under threat from wolves? What if we’ve got stone-moving machines and time to breathe? What if we’re not being chased anymore… but we still act like we are?
See, survival patterns are sneaky. They wear masks. They show up in workouts and work days. They dress up in ambition, caffeine, and “just one more thing before I stop.”
I’ve never been a bodybuilder — my brother was — but I’ve tried that route in my own work life. Lift to failure. Push it. Every other day, I’d be nursing another injury to body and mind.
I wasn’t getting stronger. I was just breaking myself in cycles. Push, break, recover, repeat.
I see the same thing with brains. Push it. Adderall. More coffee. Keep going. Hit the wall. And then—collapse.
That’s not strengthening. That’s surviving pretending to be “powerful.”
What happens to the rest of your system when your brain is sucking up all the energy just to stay on task? You stop digesting. You stop feeling the sun on your skin. You stop enjoying your kids’ laughter. Everything feels like something to push through.
That isn’t thriving.
Thriving feels different. It’s alive, yes — there’s activation. But it’s not strained. When we’re in thriving mode, we’re with our energy, not yanking it out by the roots and forcing it to regrow. The muscles — or the mind — are engaged, fluid, expressive. Alive.
It’s a fine line. You can take the same exact action and fill it with stress.
I’ve done it. I’ve turned a perfectly normal task into a survival sprint. It feels ridiculous in hindsight — like, why did I make this email reply into a mountain climb?
Because my primitive brain still whispers, “If you don’t do this perfectly and fast, you’ll die.” Not literally. But the threat feels real. The imagined judgment, the self-criticism, the fear of not being enough — they’re imaginary lions in the tall grass of modern life.
I’ve used this system on myself. I’ve strained my nervous system like fingernails scraping rock to avoid a fall that was never coming.
That’s what we’re supposed to do, right? We bring survival force into every aspect. Into parenting. Into projects. Into relationships.
And we wonder why we’re tired all the time. Not sleepy tired — soul tired. That kind of tired that feels like you ran for your life… but all you did was sit at your desk.
Here’s what I know now: if you’re not actually in danger, you can stop living like you are.
You don’t have to push everything to the edge. You don’t have to prove your strength through strain. Strength can be alive in you — not torn, not depleted, but awake and sustaining.
And when we live from there, the recovery feels different, too. We’re not collapsing. We’re restoring.
We’re not dropping all the pieces and then forcing ourselves to pick them up… again! Instead, we’re crafting a thriving life from the pieces we find, fashion, and consciously put in place.
There’s a wisdom to building your foundation around thriving — not just surviving. And thriving starts with recognizing: it’s not life or death to get through your inbox. Your self-worth isn’t measured by how busy and depleted you are.
Look around. Are you stacking more and more iron to prove something? Or are you listening to the quiet whisper that says, “Yes, move… but don’t hurt yourself doing it.”
And in a life that tells you to push until you fail, choosing to rest and relish — choosing to feel alive rather than just alive-enough — might just be the truest strength there is.
Useful Concepts for Thriving in This Story
Primitive Brain
The primitive brain keeps us on high alert even when we’re safe — it’s time to question whether the lion is real.
Unrushed
Being unrushed is a radical shift from survival tempo to the rhythm of true aliveness.
Savvy
Savvy invites us to work with our energy wisely, not destructively — to choose thriving over proving.
Vitality
Vitality flows when we stop draining ourselves for performance and start living from inner strength.
Inspired Action
Inspired action arises from presence and aliveness, not adrenaline and depletion.

2025-04-28 14:58:45 UTC

Do One Small Act - Session Replay
https://youtu.be/WudgEA6MJ9Q
We covered…
1. Small Acts Are Powerful, Especially When Big Feels Impossible
We’re often taught to chase big wins, but thriving is built on tiny, doable acts. Even when the mountain of tasks feels overwhelming, just lifting one “bale of hay” matters. We don’t need to move the whole barn. One kind, mindful act is enough to start shifting our energy and our life.
2. The Old “Push Through” Model Depletes Us
Many of us learned to run on adrenaline and pressure — “Faster! Get it all done or else!” But that’s not sustainable. Our nervous systems crave sustainability. When we’re not in survival mode, that old push actually puts the brakes on. Healing means learning to move forward without self-inflicted pressure.
3. Intimacy with Ourselves Comes First
We can be intimate with our projects and others, but real thriving asks us to connect with ourselves first. If we’re not present with our own feelings and needs, we can’t truly connect or create in a way that nourishes us.
4. Be With What Is-Not Just Where You Want to Be
The “black belt move” is to pause and be with yourself, exactly as you are, before trying to change anything. Instead of rushing to fix, just breathe and notice: what’s true for me right now? From there, you can choose the next small act that actually feels good and aligned.
5. When Frozen, Start with the Smallest Voluntary Movement
If you feel stuck or overwhelmed, don’t force yourself into action. Start with a breath, a blink, a toe wiggle… any tiny, voluntary movement. This reminds your nervous system you’re not truly stuck, and it’s a compassionate way to break the freeze.
6. Tapping and Emotional Freedom Work: Meet You Where You Are
When you feel resistance, rebellion, or overwhelm, tapping (EFT) gives us a way to honor those feelings instead of fighting them. We tap through the “I can’t” and “I won’t” with honesty, inviting self-acceptance and movement, no matter how small.
7. Choose Just One Project-And Notice the Urge to Multitask
Our brains love to pick 20 things at once. Gently bring yourself back to one. Just one. Breathe with it. Notice any frustration, confusion, or “shoulds” that arise. This is where real clarity and transformation begin.
8. Feelings Like Hopelessness or Failure Are Often Just “Candy Shells”
Sometimes, what stops us isn’t the task, but a hard shell of hopelessness or fear of failure. These feelings can hide the real project from us. By naming and tapping on these emotions, we soften the shell and invite creativity and new solutions.
9. Differentiation: Their Feelings Aren’t Yours
Many of us were taught to fix everyone else’s feelings before tending to our own. Differentiation is the skill of letting others have their emotions while staying connected to ourselves. It’s okay if we don’t agree or if someone we love is upset. We can care without carrying.
10. Appreciate Your Past and Future Self
A small act today-like putting a mug in the sink or writing down an idea-is a gift to your future self. When you notice and appreciate these acts, you build an “emotional bank account” filled with the energy of self-kindness and resilience. Let’s celebrate even the tiniest things we do for ourselves!
11. Progress Isn’t Linear-Honor the Helix
Growth is not a straight line. Sometimes you’ll feel less resilient or like you’re going backwards. That’s normal. We’re all on a helix, circling deeper with each round. Take breaks, come back to your breath, and trust that each small act-especially when done with awareness and self-compassion-builds your capacity for thriving.

2025-04-18 23:45:48 UTC

I Don’t Have to Bleed to Prove I Care
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/i-don-t-have-to-bleed-to-prove-i-care/1483
I used to think that if I didn’t react — if I didn’t get upset, didn’t worry myself sick — it would mean I didn’t care (enough)… that I was cold… indifferent… unmoved by the suffering of others.

2025-04-14 17:21:17 UTC

Weird is the New Wonderful
https://youtu.be/XTSPPF13eqg

2025-04-09 23:30:23 UTC

“How was your day?”
“Good. Well, actually… not.”
That’s my daughter.
And that’s me.
She told me about an ouch she had.
I get it—because I do the same.
I know how the brain works. It stores painful experiences first—makes sense, right?
If you stumble down the stairs, your brain wants that pain to remind you—every time you go up or down—to hold the rail. Be careful or else!
So yeah. I get that.
I’ve always been like that—and I see it in my daughter’s answer, too.
I’ve also realized: I don’t want to live by the animal way of remembering life.
That’s been a journey for me.
I’ve learned—often the hard way—that simple uplifts matter. Why? Because I’ve ended too many days feeling like ‘nothing good’ happened… even when it wasn’t true!
But it’s like… if you’ve got one bag and a rotten apple is sitting in there, it kind of takes over. Even if there’s just one… and you reach in and your thumb goes right through it—
Ew. Gross. Bleh.
“How was your day?”
A better question might be…
“What did I savor today?”
If the answer is “nothing”… either life needs some recalibrating—or we missed it. Because something was probably savor-worthy.
I start my day with coffee.
The heat of the mug. The smell. Even just holding it.
Oh. So. Good.
“What uplifted me a bit today?”
You’ll notice I said “a bit.”
I’m not asking for heaven.
Just… what gave me a little boost?
Oh. That little white flower.
Or that blanket of wild violets—so beautiful. (They’re even tasty, by the way.)
“How was your day?”
I realized I’d been avoiding what others call a “gratitude list.”
Because by default, I was collecting all the things that were a struggle. That went wrong. That my brain decided were crucial to remember… or else!
So there was a bit of rebellion around a gratitude list.
I tapped on that.
That’s the beauty of EFT Tapping: it helps me shift.
I’m changing what gets stored—on purpose.
Now, at the end of my day, I say… a kind of grace.
And it looks like this: a bunch of bullet points.
What did I savor?
What lifted me, even a little?
What am I honestly and truly grateful for?
It turns fleeting moments into… I want THIS in my long-term memory.
It might seem simple. And yet—I do want my body, mind, and spirit to integrate it… As I sleep. As I dream.
I’m three weeks in. And something in me knows: This Matters.
rickthrivingnow_A_gentle_cartoonish_figure_with_a_sponge_or_mop_ca6a5a8d-ddea-406c-be59-b1fa2db6e85d
rickthrivingnow_A_gentle_cartoonish_figure_with_a_sponge_or_mop_ca6a5a8d-ddea-406c-be59-b1fa2db6e85d
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It helps me unwind the tensions of the day.
Helps me reflect and attune to what is thriving.
Even thriving anyway—despite whatever else happened.
And I’m noticing my recollections of The Good Stuff are getting stronger. And easier.
Moments that are precious indeed.
Worth dreaming about.
“How was your day?”
The other day, my daughter said school was, “Good. Well, not really.” Then she showed me a boo-boo on her hand and one on her knee.
After that, she grabbed a book—Unicorn Academy.
Snuggled up beside me.
Handed me the book.
Smiled.
And we read.
If you could see into my energy, my emotions, my memories forming,
you’d notice that that moment—her reading with me—is far more vivid than her complaints.
I share, authentically, that it wasn’t always that way.
It’s been a journey.
Decades of interpreting most of life as complaint-worthy… even when it wasn’t.
But I see now—mercifully— that the more we attune ourselves to what is uplifting, the more those blessings become accessible.
It quiets the noise.
It removes the rotten apples.
It gives us a taste of juicy goodness.
And no—of course not all of life is juicy goodness.
But that doesn’t mean there isn’t some…
Here.
Now.
For you. For me. For us.
May you discover those simple uplifts.
Build upon them.
Amplify them.
Magnify them.
And store them…
For your future Thriving.
Useful Concepts for Thriving in this Story
Awareness
Noticing what our brain tends to store, and gently widening our attention to include what uplifts and blesses.
Simple Uplifts
Letting small moments of pleasure, connection, and beauty land — and consciously including them in what we remember.
Reframing
Shifting from the default negativity bias toward a narrative that includes delight, grace, and choice.
Acceptance
Honoring our patterns — even resistance to gratitude — while allowing new practices to emerge gently.
Useful Questions
Asking ourselves questions like “What did I savor?” that open the door to presence and thriving.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/how-was-your-day/1479

2025-04-06 16:01:56 UTC

I'm weird. More I live the more I recognize that what matters to me, and what mattered SO MUCH to me since earliest memory, has been "out of step" with almost... everyone.
But NOT everyone.
Weird finds Weird. And that is wonderful. Freeing, even.
When I was in college, I was the only weirdo with a personal computer in my dorm room and a cell phone installed in my car. I programmed lines of code while classmates mainlined beer (and coke-aine). Yeah, I was treated like the wyrd one and even got my own apartment before the 1st year was finished to have food that wouldn't kill me and silence enough to think on a Thursday night.
What I believe is intriguing is that people who are weird in the way they express themselves and metabolize life experiences... co-create super interesting Possibilities. Art. Apps. Offerings. Experiences.
Such Beings? AI cannot replace THEM. AI can enhance their toolset, letting the weird stories be turned into co-crafted songs or astounding movies just their buddies get to see and sing. Weird, isn't it?
My clients have such wonders in them. How they navigate the world — including the mundane and scary parts. Weird Wonders. Perceptions about situations that when you hear them you go, "Oh yeah!" in your gut. Their questions (also called Prompts to Intelligence) are so intriguing. In the exploration of them, we're moved more and more towards our own clarity, our own thriving vision, our unique gifts (aka weirdness).
So like I said last time, if you’ve always felt a little out of place, too sensitive, too intense, too imaginative, too anything—that weirdness? That’s your edge now.
But edges take skill to navigate. Emotional resilience helps tremendously. Also having a healthy dose of, "Uhh, I don't really care if you, You, and YOU like it or not. I didn't make it for you! I made it for me and my fellow Weird Freedom Kin."
How about we explore this together? Cathy and I hope you'll choose to join us... Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/weird-is-the-new-wonderful/1470

2025-04-04 02:49:01 UTC

It's Really Just Me... Isn't It
https://youtu.be/JGaRx2Rcvbw
My company — Thriving Now — might as well be called Me, Myself & I, Incorporated. I file the taxes. I choose the direction. I decide whether to launch something… or scrap it. There’s no board. No boss. No partner.
And for a moment, that might sound idyllic. Freeing, even.
Until you realize: if you're like me — someone whose nature is to co-create — being the "only one" isn’t empowering. It’s… crushing.
Like trying to go for a horseback ride… without a horse.
Co-creators don’t thrive in isolation. We thrive in response. In relationship. In the dance between our hard work and the unseen energy that stirs us to explore, engage, and offer our gifts to the world.
Even when I’m physically alone, I’ve never created anything meaningful without something else being part of it.
Some people call it The Muse — a soft breath of mystery beside me while I write or speak.
Sometimes it’s inspiration — the spark that arrives when I listen like the world is talking back.
Sometimes, it’s a friend or client — and in that shared presence, something starts to emerge… something that says: “This is worth it!”
And to be real, vulnerable, and some-would-say-weird with y'all, every single day it's my Circle of Spirit Buddies — the energetic and engaged Beings who are WITH me and FOR me Always and All Ways.
They give me easier access — into asking questions, hearing responses, filtering and choosing. Exploring. Being in co-creation together.
I start my day every morning every day with them, before the house wakes up. They know who I am. What matters to me. What I long for. They show up. And I show up. (That last part is essential. My willingness to show up makes it Experiential rather than theoretical.)
Whatever you call it — Spirit, Genius, Source, Muse, Nature, God — this is not a metaphor. There is a presence of consciousness we can choose to relate to!
And because humans are built for relationship — not just with people, but with ideas, energy, purpose — we can open to it.
We can cultivate real, living relationships with the very Source that loves to co-create WITH us.
Because this ride…? It was never meant to be solo.
Co-creators aren’t meant to do it all alone. We connect.
Sometimes we’re the channel.
Sometimes the bridge.
Sometimes the lead singer…
Sometimes in the backup band.
The ancients knew this.
And I remember the moment I stopped trying to do it all alone.
I felt throughout my body this guidance: I’m not meant to.
I could co-create the experience of healing.
Of being held.
Of being acknowledged, respected… and seen.
That’s something I think our modern culture forgets.
We talk a lot about personal growth — but for me? It’s intimate growth. Relational growth. Energetic partnership.
I bring my presence. My willingness. And I’m met. I’m responded to.
There is a profound availability of co-creative energy in this universe. Artists, poets, dreamers… they’ve always known this.
Our hearts are designed for it — to influence and be influenced. To exchange. To create with.
To co-create.
Creation isn’t solo work. It’s relational. It’s the way we stay in conversation with life.
And knowing that I’m not really alone — that my work is always with consciousness — it changes how I work.
I don’t force what’s next. In fact… I can’t.
I pause. I listen. I ask. I show up for my side of the partnership.
And instead of asking, “What’s next on the to-do list?” I ask, “What’s next for US?”
Let’s get back into relationship —with what matters, with your unique heartistry, and with the parts of you that already know how to co-create a thriving life.
And… If you’ve felt painfully lonely in your work — like it’s just not flowing — maybe what’s missing is that invitation:
Who would enjoy working with me today? And what's next for us?
Useful Concepts for Thriving in this Story
Co-Creating
Awareness
Acceptance
Adapting
Inspired Action
Clarity
https://thrivingnow.com/concepts

2025-03-30 14:10:09 UTC

So if you’ve always felt a little out of place, too sensitive, too intense, too imaginative, too anything—that weirdness? 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁’𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗲𝗱𝗴𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘄.
It’s no longer about fitting in—it’s about standing out in a way that feels good, true, and energizing.
𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗨𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘆.
1) What is something weird about you that could be considered... Creative? Useful? Unique amongst those around you?
2) How does that weirdness want to express itself? For your delight? To co-create a world you would love living in?
We hope you'll choose to join us... Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1470

2025-03-19 15:16:41 UTC

𝗦𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗲𝗴𝗼𝗮𝘁 𝗡𝗼 𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲! - Session Replay
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1458/7
We so appreciate the deep work we are capable of doing Together. Thank you for those who attended live and co-created his work of heart. Scapegoats No More!!
What we covered:
Embrace Our Sensitivity: Our sensitivity isn’t a flaw—it’s a vibrant signal that our emotional radar is finely tuned. When we’re targeted as scapegoats, it reflects our capacity to feel deeply and our readiness to grow as we gain clarity about what (and who) truly matters in our lives.
Understand Scapegoating Dynamics: Recognize that scapegoating is less about us and more about others deflecting their own discomfort. It’s a mechanism rooted in unresolved pain—not our responsibility to fix, even when it comes from family.
Recognize Triangulation: Notice when blame becomes the glue in relationships, pulling us into a triangle of false intimacy. This unhealthy dynamic prevents genuine connection, and acknowledging it is the first step to stepping out of the dance.
Differentiate Our Responsibility: Learn to tune into what really belongs to us versus what is unfairly imposed by others. By doing so, we free ourselves from carrying blame that isn’t ours to bear.
Release Hyper-Responsibility: Let go of the habit of absorbing every bit of blame—even when it feels like we must carry the weight. Releasing that extra baggage creates space for our own well-being and thriving.
Utilize Emotional Freedom Techniques: Embrace tools like EFT tapping and grounding exercises as a way to regulate our emotions, ease tension, and keep ourselves anchored in the here and now, moving from reactive patterns to empowered living.
Cultivate Self-Awareness: Reflect on how our early conditioning still echoes in our daily lives. By becoming aware of these patterns, we open the door to making conscious choices that lead to genuine healing.
Set Healthy Boundaries: Establish clear limits by remembering we are not responsible for others’ projections. Setting these boundaries preserves our energy and keeps our focus on what truly matters.
Value Imperfection: Embrace our beautiful, messy humanity—mistakes and awkward moments are part of our journey. Recognizing that perfection is an illusion frees us from unnecessary self-blame and invites authentic connection.
Own Our Core Values: Anchor ourselves in what matters most—mutual respect, co-creation, and minimizing harm. Let these values guide our actions as we reclaim our space and live with intention.
Encourage Mutual Growth: Step out of the scapegoating cycle so that we, and those around us, can face our own challenges and grow—whether that means growing together or respectfully growing apart.
Practice Emotional Discernment: Develop the skill to listen closely to our feelings and identify what is truly ours. This practice of discernment helps maintain clear emotional boundaries and honors our inner truth.
Anticipate and Navigate Resistance: Understand that breaking free from old patterns may invite pushback. Meet any resistance with compassionate boundaries and clear, steadfast clarity, trusting that our choice to thrive is worth the discomfort.
Reclaim Our True Identity: Affirm that we are far more than a scapegoat. By rejecting the blame that’s been assigned to us and embracing our empowered, authentic selves, we step into a future defined by thriving and self-acceptance.

2025-03-17 14:21:27 UTC

𝗧𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗕𝗹𝗮𝗺𝗲?
Join us here: https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1458
Were you trained for blame?
Some humans are incapable of blaming themselves. Some of us have superpowers of taking on blame! What a match made in hell...
I'm adaptable. You? Well, if a child is highly adaptable, it means they will scan their environment (from conception!) to figure out the world they are being born into.
Unexpected, undesired, unwanted... pregnancy? Well, if a belly baby feels that towards them, they activate "I shall be as close to perfect as possible! So you help me survive! I'll be ANYTHING YOU NEED to get love!"
I'll take the blame for your pain.
I'll be at fault for your failures.
I'll take responsibility for your addictions and rage.
I'll be adoring if that is what you want... or learn to console myself and be absurdly independent for my age.
Can't you just hear the bray of the 'natural scapegoat'?
We accepted unkindness — even cruelty and neglect — because we we 'knew' in our primitive brain we MUST OR ELSE.
So how do we free ourselves?
Well, it is well-understood by now that this is ongoing work. It takes skill. It benefits from support. We are re-training. We are re-calibrating to life now, letting go of programming that happened previously.
It's growing into our thriving. Consciously.
It's challenging. Those that look for those they can blame are able to suss-out quickly: can I make this person a scapegoat? Are they bully-able?
If the answer is Yes or Maybe... they come close. They do the things they do. And guess what? It's NOT EASY to protect ourselves when we were trained to be blamed.
Here's a horrible secret, too. IF the Blaming Bully discovers you are healing, that you can see through their orientation and refuse to be party to their crap... there's a period where such people get super intense towards you. How dare you! It's your fault! I will bring forth my sycophants to tear you asunder!
(Yes, this is intense. Being real here. It's an experience many of us who have ever broken free of a scapegoat — who we were trained to tolerate — have gone through.)
The real skills needed are Unwinding Shock and a deepening awareness of this dynamic inside us — that ingrained instinctual assumption, "This must be my fault." Then learning how to move that energy to an empowered reframe and perspective.
It's been my experience that those who have been pervasively blamed and shamed are also potently on the spectrum of kindness, adaptability, willingness, responsiveness, and yeah... Lovability.
Weird isn't it? The person so often picked on, when you really get to know them authentically, can be a person you experience as truly and easily lovable. That's been a truth in my coaching practice for over 20 years.
It's why this matters to both Cathy and me. It's why we're likely to cry and laugh and cuss a bit together with those who choose to join us for this real skills workshop tomorrow. If it is a YES for you, we hope you'll choose to join us... Everyone gets the recording who signs up.

2025-03-12 10:09:45 UTC

Register now for Scapegoat No More! - Real Skills Workshop
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1458
Ever feel like you're the Scapegoat — the one others blame and shame their insecurities, upsets, and unhappiness? Ever felt bullies rise up and come after you for what felt like no reason?!?
And sometimes it is: name calling or getting the group (or others in the family) to ostracize you and make life miserable.
It happens. It sucks. It's shocking.
Painfully, it is something sensitive people internalize. We start scapegoating ourselves! We assume: if a situation is painful, it must be our fault! If we're not getting along, we are the ones who Must Do Better.
The truth is, the pattern of being singled out as a scapegoat isn’t a reflection of our worth—it’s a symptom of deeper power dynamics and emotional dysfunctions at play.
It takes skill and a safe-enough space to heal and reframe this. It's also essential for thriving.
Why? Because if a part of us is still feeling responsible — when we were NOT! — enormous "creative energy" is misdirected towards maintaining a fiction.
"It's my fault. They said so." Or, "If I wasn't actually a bad person, they wouldn't have treated me that way."
It's time. Time for a reframe. Time for recalibrating how we see ourselves. Scapegoats No More!
In this workshop, we'll free ourselves from certain ridiculous notions rooted in other people's certainty that we were to blame.
We'll definitely look at how it plays out inside of us still.
This isn't "superficial work" but that doesn't mean we can't laugh and love our way through it. Cathy and I have been blamed and shamed and know pathways and tools that help us recover and feel increasingly free.
We hope you'll choose to join us... Everyone gets the recording who signs up.

2025-03-10 11:42:11 UTC

Grace in Mistakes - Real Skills Workshop
We covered…
1. Mistakes Are Missed Marks, Not Failures
Mistakes happen when reality doesn’t match our expectations or intentions. They’re not failures—they’re just moments where we didn’t hit the bullseye. And guess what? Missing the mark is how we learn and grow.
Skill: When something doesn’t go as planned, pause and say to yourself: “I missed the mark this time, but I’m learning and growing.” Let that sink in.
2. Recognize Where Your Reactions Come From
For many of us, how we react to mistakes was shaped by childhood experiences—whether it was harsh judgment, perfectionism, or survival stress. But here’s the good news: we can retrain ourselves.
Skill: Ask yourself: “Where did I learn this reaction? Is it still serving me?” Then remind yourself: “I don’t live there anymore.How do I want to feel NOW?”
3. Notice Your Body’s First Reaction
Before we even think about a mistake, our body reacts—maybe with a “grr” of frustration, tight muscles, or a flood of adrenaline. This is primal and unavoidable, but noticing it gives us awareness enough to start shifting from knee-jerk reaction to helpful response.
Skill: The next time you make a mistake, tune into your body’s first reaction. Is it a growl? A freeze? A tightening? Say to yourself: “Oh, there’s my ‘grr’ (or freeze).” Awareness is key.
4. Tap to Calm Your Nervous System
Mistakes trigger our primitive brain—our amygdala fires up before we even have a chance to think. EFT tapping helps us calm that reaction and create space for clarity.
Skill: When you feel triggered by a mistake, start tapping on your collarbone and affirm: “Even though this DID happened, I choose to feel calm and confident anyway.” It’s like hitting a reset button for your nervous system.
5. Shrink Your Recovery Time
Recovery from mistakes doesn’t have to take days—or even hours. With practice, we can move from being stuck in shame or frustration to adapting and responding in minutes or seconds.
Skill: Reflect on how long it takes you to recover after a mistake. Celebrate progress as your recovery time shortens—whether it’s from eight hours to 80 minutes or 18 seconds!
6. Mistakes Are Part of Thriving
If you’re thriving—building relationships, creating something new, or just living fully—you’re going to miss the mark sometimes. That’s not failure; that’s life.
Skill: At the end of each day, ask yourself: “How did I miss the mark today? What did I learn from it?” Celebrate those moments as proof you’re engaged in life.
7. Replace Harsh Self-Talk with Curiosity
We’ve all been there—calling ourselves “stupid,” “a loser,” or worse after a mistake. But what if we replaced that inner critic with curiosity? What if we asked: “What happened here?”
Skill: When self-criticism arises, pause and say: “Some of this is because I care; some of this is because I’m scared.” Then ask: “What would my wise self say right now?”
8. Build Graceful Pathways Instead of Overreacting
Overreaction keeps us stuck—it hijacks our energy and prevents us from addressing reality constructively. Graceful pathways like tapping, breathing, or stepping back help us respond with clarity.
Skill: Create a calming ritual for when mistakes happen (e.g., tapping or deep breathing). Practice it as your go-to when emotions rise.
9. Repair Deepens Connection
Mistakes can actually strengthen relationships when we handle them with honesty and care. Repairing a misstep shows others—and ourselves—that we value connection over perfection.
Skill: If your mistake impacts someone else, acknowledge it sincerely and ask: “How can I help make this right?” This builds trust and resilience in relationships.
10. Context Shapes Our Reactions
Sometimes our overreactions aren’t about the mistake itself—they’re about being depleted or stressed. Recognizing this gives us compassion for ourselves and others.
Skill: When you overreact to a mistake, ask: “Am I tired? Stressed? Depleted?” Then give yourself what you need—rest, support, or even just a moment to breathe.
11. Mistakes Are Invitations to Adapt
Every mistake is an invitation to adapt—to try something new or approach things differently next time. Thriving isn’t about avoiding mistakes; it’s about learning how to respond with grace.
Skill: At the end of each week, reflect on one mistake that helped you adapt or grow: “This is part of growing my thriving life.”
Mistakes are not just inevitable—they’re essential for growth and connection. By practicing these tools with compassion and curiosity, we create space for more emotional freedom and resilience in our lives. Let’s meet our mistakes with grace—and use them as inspiration for thriving!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1457/5

2025-03-08 15:15:15 UTC

"I have no spare clothes for Adira with me because I'm stupid."
That's what my text to Jem said. She wrote back, "You’re not stupid, just were trying to get out the door! I’ll bring some."
Now that is Grace in the face of someone being hard on themselves for the kind of Mistake even "seasoned" parents make.
Part of the skill of Grace in Mistakes is holding space for other people learning what works and what does not... what is savvy, and what is unwise. Even what works shockingly well!
Then we internalize that treatment to include our own mistakes.
Adira is sitting here listening to her Yoto. When she tried to turn it on, about 6 minutes ago, it was out of power. She cried. It's a "mistake" not to plug it in at the end of the day. Heck, I've done that with my phone, watch, computer... so I have a lot of compassion. We plugged it in and started listening.
But, then she unplugged it after 5 minutes of charging and sits next to me on the sofa. I did tell her it was not yet charged, but she is living the "mistake" of not charging it enough... and I am living the moment of getting to co-work with her, sitting shoulder to shoulder, this Beautiful Being nestled next to me.
Yes, I know the power is going to run out, maybe even before I finishing writing to y'all. Grace in Mistakes can mean allowing ourselves and those we love to explore. It's not life-threatening, even if it will likely mean Big Feelings.
Such is life. "Mistakes" is one label. Learning, Exploring, visiting the edge... different frames on the same thing. Being Human... another. Growing? You bet! (Unless we get so cruel with ourselves we never leave the house with or without spare clothes!)
Cathy and I are meeting tomorrow (Sunday) with those of us who self-select that we want more grace as we live, as we discover what works... and (ouch!) what does not. We hope you'll choose to join us... Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1457

2025-03-05 13:16:02 UTC

I’ve wrestled with the weight of imperfection, the sting of errors, and the harsh inner critic that often follows. But over time, I’ve landed on the truth: our mistakes aren’t just inevitable — they’re essential and even super USEFULL!
Mistakes handled with even a bit of grace are the raw material of growth, the stepping stones to wisdom, and often, the doorway to our most authentic selves.
In this workshop on Sunday, Mar 9th, we’ll explore together how to embrace our beautifully flawed humanity, finding freedom and strength in the very places we once found shame.
https://thrivingnow.center/t/1457

2025-02-24 20:29:32 UTC

Unwinding Shock: https://youtu.be/RM9htjXSax8
1. Shock is a Natural Response
Shock arises when something unexpected disrupts our sense of safety or control. It can range from mild surprise to an overwhelming emotional or nervous system reaction. Recognizing shock as a normal human response is the first step toward unwinding it.
Skill: Pause and acknowledge when you’re in shock. Say to yourself, “This is my body responding to something unexpected. It’s okay to feel this way.”
2. Unwinding Shock is Essential for Emotional Freedom
Shock creates tension in our nervous system, fascia, and even blood vessels. If left unresolved, it can become more challenging to unwind over time, much like tangled cords or hoses, making it harder to adapt and thrive.
Skill: Use EFT tapping to begin unwinding stuck energy. Start by tapping and saying, “Even though I feel this shock, I’m open to releasing some of it now.”
3. Shock Often Protects Us
Sometimes, holding onto shock shields us from deeper feelings we don’t feel ready to face, such as grief or terror. This is a protective mechanism.
Skill: Gently ask yourself, “What might this shock be protecting me from?” Approach the answer with curiosity rather than judgment.
4. Daily Practices Can Build Resilience
Shock can accumulate over time—whether from personal experiences or global events. Regularly unwinding even small shocks helps prevent overwhelm and builds emotional capacity.
Skill: Incorporate daily tapping into your routine. For example: “Even though I may have some shock in my system from today, I give my body permission to release it.”
5. The Body Holds Shock in Specific Areas
Shock often manifests physically—in the jaw, chest, knees, or even deep within our belly or joints. These areas may hold tension long after the initial event.
Skill: Tune into your body and notice where you feel tightness or discomfort. Place your hands there gently and say, “I hear you; it’s safe to unwind this now.”
6. Blame and Shame Keep Shock Stuck
Blaming yourself or others for what happened can lock shock into place. While accountability is healthy, blame often suspends healing.
Skill: Tap on phrases like: “Even though I feel blame/shame about this situation, I’m open to setting it aside for now so I can heal.”
7. Unwinding Shock Creates Space for Clarity
When we’re stuck in shock, we often can’t see a way forward or make empowered choices. Releasing some of that tension allows us to stabilize and regain clarity.
Skill: After tapping, ask yourself: “What matters most to me right now?” This question helps redirect your energy toward what’s meaningful and helps stabilize your energy systems.
8. Small Steps Are Powerful
You don’t need to process everything at once—baby steps are enough. Even being present with your feelings for a few seconds at a time can create shifts.
Skill: Give yourself permission to take tiny steps. Say, “I’ll allow myself to feel this for just one second,” then gradually increase as you feel ready.
9. Compassion for Yourself and Others Eases the Process
Understanding that everyone—including you—is doing their best with the tools they have can soften the intensity of shock and reduce emotional resistance.
Skill: When triggered by someone else’s actions, try saying: “They’re doing the best they know how right now—even if it’s not okay with me.” Extend the same compassion inward.
10. Shock Can Echo Old Traumas
Current shocks often resonate with unresolved past experiences stored in our subconscious as “trauma bubbles.” This layering can amplify our emotional response.
Skill: Tap while acknowledging both the current situation and any echoes it stirs up: “Even though this reminds me of past pain, I honor that I’m safer right now.”
11. Unwinding Shock is a Skill Worth Practicing
Like brushing your teeth or exercising, unwinding shock is an ongoing practice that strengthens over time. The more we practice with small shocks, the more resilient we become when big ones arise.
Skill: Commit to practicing unwinding regularly—even when nothing major feels wrong—so you’re prepared and better resourced when life throws surprises your way.
Unwinding shock isn’t about avoiding life’s challenges or pretending they are not a Big Deal when they are. It’s about learning how to meet shocks with greater stability and grace. By practicing these techniques together as a community, we remind ourselves that we’re not alone—and that “Thriving Anyway” is within reach.
Take a deep breath right now and let that truth settle in: We’re building resilience one moment at a time.

2025-02-22 17:25:01 UTC

Complete this sentence with the first memory that comes to mind: "I just can't believe that..."
Guess what. That memory LIKELY is wrapped in shock in your body-mind.
How do know? Because anything where we are saying to ourselves, "I just can't believe" says we're protecting ourselves — from overwhelming pain, terrifying reality, or clarity about a change we need to make.
When we say "I just can't believe it," we're really saying "I refuse to accept this reality." This natural shield protects us from overwhelming truths until we're ready to face them. While this buffer (a type of freeze) serves us initially, true healing only begins when we're ready to gently unwrap the shock and process it. Which needs to happen.
Physical shock caused by loss of blood is life threatening. Immediately! Call 911!
Emotional shock caused by loss of connection to reality and our body is life threatening, too. It just happens over time, experienced as depletion of will to live, chronic anxiety, and chronic disease.
Cathy and I get it. This is hard stuff. The skill of recognizing we've got shock in our system is both essential to healing and super challenging.
Unwinding shock is a natural part of the process, same as healing and stitching a deep wound. Maybe you will need professional support for the Big Stuff.
We can, however, start with "small" shocks. The disorientation we feel when we hear that something happened to people we don't know but it 'kicks us in our empathy' (ouch!).
Or, the dismay when someone we love does something very human but unexpected, where our reaction is "I can't believe that they ____!"
In my own healing journey, I needed to learn how to unwind shocks from my body-mind over smaller betrayals and dismays and repulsive behaviors before I could, well, unwind the deep wounds.
My theory is that when we find ourselves being shocked repeatedly over stuff not directly impacting our survival right now... it can be a "calling out" from deeper wounds to use these shocks to help us build skill, stamina, and resilience. And yes, a circle of support, too.
Example: If I find myself reacting with shock to my kids doing things that virtually all kids do... yeah, it's pointing to a deeper shock draining my capacity to parent with acceptance.
If this sounds useful for you to explore right now, Cathy and I invite you to join us tomorrow. We'll spend 90 minutes (with short break) tending to the skills that help to unwind. And, we'll be 'accepting' together that unwinding shock is something we wish we didn't have to do... like dealing with a cut to help it heal and avoid getting infected. Emotional shocks deserve the same kind of tending.
We hope you'll choose to join us... Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/unwinding-shock/1449

2025-02-17 21:22:10 UTC

𝗦𝗵𝗼𝗰𝗸 is both an immediate response… and a lingering impact that keeps us from being in the Now. Unwinding Shock is a skill that you’ll find is immensely useful for thriving.
Join us this Sunday: https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/unwinding-shock/1449

2025-02-17 17:37:34 UTC

𝗞𝗶𝗻𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 is the gentle art of meeting life with an open heart, expressing care through both small gestures and meaningful actions. More than mere politeness, it's the natural radiance that emerges when we recognize our shared humanity and choose to contribute to another's well-being. Kindness flows from an authentic desire to ease suffering and amplify joy, creating ripples of warmth that transform both giver and receiver. It's a powerful catalyst for thriving, flowing not from obligation but from the quiet wisdom that recognizes how our flourishing is interconnected. Through kindness, we activate our innate ability to heal, uplift, and create positive change, strengthening both our inner resilience and our connections with others.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/kindness/1435

2025-02-10 14:15:44 UTC

TRY smaller...
https://youtu.be/Q5IY1gNYq4o
Ever make something BIGGER than what it ends up being?
That's so common as a human experience, Cathy and I started with that first in this workshop. We also covered these aspects to help you build a thriving life, one small, meaningful step at a time:
1. Break It Down: Start Ridiculously Small. When a task feels overwhelming, shrink it down to the smallest possible step. For example, instead of thinking, “I need to clean the whole house,” try “I’ll dust one shelf” or “I’ll pick up one item.” This shifts our energy and builds momentum without triggering overwhelm. We tend as humans to make things “bigger than they actually are.” This is a skillful antidote to get our energy moving.
2. Anchor into the Present Moment. Before starting, pause and be with what is. Notice your surroundings without judgment—just this desk, just this moment. This practice reduces resistance and helps us connect with ourselves before taking action.
3. Reframe Tasks as Invitations. Instead of seeing tasks as obligations or burdens, reframe them as opportunities for care or creativity. For instance, think of decluttering as a treasure hunt to find one meaningful item rather than an endless chore.
4. Release the Need to Make It Perfect. Tasks don’t need to be completed perfectly or all at once. Be+. Doing one small thing—like setting out a pan before cooking or labeling a folder for taxes—can create ease and flow for your future self.
5. Listen to the Body’s Wisdom. Tune into the body’s subtle cues about what feels right in the moment. Often, our body knows what it needs—whether it’s a stretch, a sip of water, or tending to something small in your environment. Start with that and notice the energy now flowing towards the work that matters next.
6. Let Go of “Shoulds” and Mental Weighing. Stop mentally prioritizing everything on your list—it’s exhausting! Instead, ask: What is here for me now? This allows us to respond intuitively with full-body wisdom rather than being stopped by analysis paralysis.
7. Acknowledge Emotional Attachments. Sometimes resistance comes from deeper emotions like grief or fear of letting go. If this arises, try sitting with the feeling for just a moment—half a second if that’s all we can manage. Over time, this builds emotional resilience and clarity.
8. Celebrate Small Wins. Every small action is a gift to ourselves. Whether it’s moving one item that’s out of place or wiping down a surface, pause afterward to notice how it feels and appreciate the shift you’ve created. This strengthens our energy flowing from yes-to-yes rather than waiting for the Big Win (it’s DONE!)
9. Practice “Try Smaller” as an Energy Skill. Trying smaller isn’t just about tasks—it’s about cultivating an energy of ease and presence in your life. By focusing on tiny movements or actions that feel good (like putting away one item), you align with what truly matters to you.
10. Be Open to Surprises. When you let go of rigid plans and allow yourself to simply be, unexpected joys can emerge—whether it’s watching sunlight on leaves or finding new inspiration for an old dream. Trust that being present creates space for magic.
11. Trust the Process of Letting Go. If clutter or unfinished projects feel daunting, remember that letting go creates room for new possibilities. Start super small: one box, one paper, or even just imagining what it would feel like to release something—and let that guide you forward.
These skills aren’t about doing more—they’re about doing right sized but with intention and care. By trying smaller, you can create space for what truly nurtures your thriving life while releasing overwhelm and stress. Take one ridiculously small step today and see how it feels—you might be surprised by how much lighter and freer you become!

2025-02-10 12:34:06 UTC

AI offers us strategic leaps in what we can express of our Heartistry without needing as much $$$$$ and time/energy of others to bring into form. For me the vision is a growing capacity to be generous while also Thriving indeed.
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2025-02-08 15:49:01 UTC

But it is just ONE toy on the WHOLE rug. Why pick it up? Why not just start writing?!?!
Because. It was the stupid, small action I knew I could take to make my writing couch a bit more compatible with writing. The Yoto cards were sitting right in my line of sight. As part of shifting my energy from making breakfast to writing, I needed a door.
The door was labeled, “What is one tiny action I could take to make it ‘feel better’ for writing — while also listening to loud, rambunctious, kids playing in the other room?”
Stopped. Picked up the cards. That lead to closing the case and picking up another piece of plastic jewelry also in my line of sight. Cleaned the cappuccino glass. Then…
Well, you’re reading it!
These “life hacks” are skills. They recognize how the body-mind and energy system interweave to support or block our expression.
Get good at it… and clutter melts (30 seconds at a time). You drop one item from your “to-do” list that doesn’t belong there, and 3 seconds at a time you feel less overwhelmed.
Key? TRY smaller. Stupid tiny. Insignificant. BUT… in the direction you are choosing.
Cathy and I hope you’ll choose to join us this tomorrow - Sunday. Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/try-smaller/1448

2025-02-08 14:59:41 UTC

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It works!! Zap zap zap from the Web now!

2025-02-04 16:41:34 UTC

Ridiculously small. It's easy to procrastinate when we make the tasks bigger than we have the time or energy to do.
When we make the next step ridiculously small... we are left with the core resistance, the blocks, the fears... the stuff we can tap on!
Example: sending this invite seemed way too big. I have a headache. Been up since 4am. What I want is to have it DONE, not to do it. What got me started was a ridiculously small step. Open the email editor and write in bold the two words Ridiculously small.
Did it work? So far!
We know from brain studies that it's taking the first microstep that activates our energy. We also know that first energy often raises our discomfort, our stress hormones. It is in the first few minutes where the SKILL is moving a baby step, feeling discomfort, tapping if it feels a bit too much, and then taking another baby step.
At some point, you are likely moving with the energy. You get to move with the flow. When the flow stops... take a powerful pause (another real skill), then do another step. If it feels too big, TRY smaller... Keep going smaller until you act or distract.
Yes, we humans distract. When we TRY smaller, we either get movement in the direction we want or feel the block. Start tapping. Speak about what is coming up for you. Keep your intention on the microstep to come while you tap on rebellion, fear, or overwhelm.
I'm not saying this always works. No skill works always and all ways. But when you understand that this is a skill rather than something you either "are" or "are not," you're empowered to get more skill-full. And move towards your thriving with clarity and action.
We hope you'll choose to join us this Sunday. Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/rs-next/

2025-02-02 12:13:18 UTC

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2025-01-27 22:10:29 UTC

Co-Creating with AI
Consciously choosing how to use AI for Co-Creating your thriving life is a key question for the years to come.
The post right below the replay is where I took the transcript (generated by an AI) and ran it through Perplexity and a private AI interface I use called ChatLLM. The tools are not as important, I feel, as seeing how the SAME EXACT RAW MATERIAL (the words Cathy and I shared back and forth) can produce different expressions.
I asked it to review the whole transcript again and summarize its essence in one potent paragraph. For better or worse, without human edits, this is what it came up with:
"In this warm and enlightening conversation about co-creating with AI, two experienced coaches share how this emerging technology isn't here to replace our humanity - it's here to amplify it. Just as we once feared trains would make our organs disintegrate at 35mph, our current AI anxieties often reflect our resistance to change rather than actual threats. The workshop reveals how AI can be a supportive partner in our journey, helping us preserve mental energy for deeper connections and meaningful work while honoring our authentic voice. Rather than replacing human wisdom, AI serves as a tool for accessing collective consciousness, much like consulting multiple elders simultaneously. The key is approaching it with heart-centered intention, using it to enhance rather than replace our natural abilities, and remembering that our unique human qualities - our emotional intelligence, intuition, and capacity for genuine connection - remain irreplaceable. By engaging with AI mindfully and ethically, we can free up more time and energy for what truly matters: creating a thriving life while doing work that makes a difference."
Watch the replay here:
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1438/16

2025-01-26 13:59:35 UTC

There's a huge gap between the skills I have and the skills I'd like to have. Is that true for you, too?
I can't have a conversation in Spanish about installing a washer and dryer, even though I spent over 1000 days with Duolingo. But my AI can translate in realtime! It co-created more rapport with the two installers who did a fine job, and we smiled a lot more together once we broke the language barrier.
Because guess what? Our gaps are barriers.
AI is becoming a potent way to get past barriers and open us to co-creating in ways we're not (yet) savvy.
I'll get a song idea, really just a few bars of lyrics. I can even, sorta, sing them out. Then... I hit a barrier. Not only do I not know the key I just sang, I can't name the melody notes. Clever rhythms and backing instruments are beyond me.
Before AI I wrote ONE song. One. With extensive help and co-creating with my music coach. It meant a LOT to me to get there, but without his help it was super hard to write #2.
Since Suno.com AI, I've co-created a dozen or more songs that would not have existed without me — not without my input (prompting) and without me selecting from different options.
Does that make me a "musician" as part of my identity?
Perhaps that is what a lot of the angst is right now around AI. We as humans have been TRAINED to describe ourselves by what we DO.
"What do you do (for a living)?"
THAT is going to be confronted by tools that do many of those things — better (or at least differently useful), faster, cheaper.
And yes, that includes emotional freedom coaching.
Cathy and I are not pretending to "know the answers." If you are in an industry that will be affected by AI (and every industry will, unless it has also somehow also not been affected by the internet), we believe that those with real skills, emotional vitality, and curiosity will find opportunities to remove barriers and co-create in ways previously blocked.
There's an abundance of co-creative options that are opening up!
There are dozens of ways AI already helps me explore that I could not have afforded to pay money to get done in the past. Or it would have taken "too long" even if I had the skills. (One example is workshop transcripts. Used to be $1/minute or $90 for just one of these real skills sessions. Now it is essentially free. Which means you can download it. You can feed it into your own AI! You can ask it to pull out pieces. Summarize it differently. Even craft a personalized plan of action just for you...)
Today we will tap on the natural fears that arise when there is such monumental change happening NOW. This is coming in the next 1-5 years in ways few in the western world won't be touched. We hope you'll join us... or engage with us on this topic in the community center. Or both! Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
Register here with one-click for Co-Creating with AI
A Real Skills Workshop for: Thriving Lifestyle Design
https://www.thrivingnow.com/rs-next/
When: Today, Sun Jan 26 2025 at 5pm EST / 2pm PST (90 mins with a 7 min break)
Where: Zoom
Resources and Community Discussion here: https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1438

2025-01-23 11:13:58 UTC

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I became The Simpleton Chef in the family and prepare almost all the meals. I don’t love to cook. I do love them. So my love is in every bite. And a bit of salt 🧂

2025-01-07 17:26:05 UTC

What is Kindness?
Kindness is the gentle art of meeting life with an open heart, expressing care through both small gestures and meaningful actions.
But this isn't always easy. Sometimes it is not even possible! And sometimes, it isn't savvy.
Which makes it a Real Skill worth exploring.
You see, kindness is more than mere politeness. It's the natural radiance that emerges when we recognize our shared humanity and choose to contribute to another's well-being.
Kindness flows from an authentic desire to ease suffering and amplify joy, creating ripples of warmth that transform both giver and receiver.
It's a powerful catalyst for thriving, flowing not from obligation but from the quiet wisdom that recognizes how our flourishing is interconnected.
Through kindness, we activate our innate ability to heal, uplift, and create positive change, strengthening both our inner resilience and our connections with others.
This is what Cathy and I will be exploring with you this Sunday if you choose to join us.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1437

2024-12-31 13:59:27 UTC

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I got the sending love message at just the right time in my phone. And yes I got it twice. And I’m one of the new followers.

2024-12-31 13:47:41 UTC

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YES! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED FOR MY Thriving Now Community Center! I’m using Discourse right now. Thrivingnow.center

2024-12-29 23:06:08 UTC

Struggling with emotional eating? Discover how to shift from reactive habits to emotionally free and savvy choices... using EFT Tapping
https://www.thrivingnow.com/eating-your-emotions/

2024-12-29 16:49:40 UTC

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When we consider Thriving over the long view, we need to consider how energy is stewarded. Our "pay masters" have manipulated people into thinking that if your income is 5.5x what it was, you're "earning more." But measured in ribeye steaks or fractions of a median home in your zip? Not so. For Thriving I recommend learning and also using Bitcoin as one of your units of account. If you don't know what that means... excellent! You'll feel so much more empowered when you DO understand!
#nevent1q…0fq7

2024-12-28 16:38:06 UTC

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2024-12-26 21:47:46 UTC

Have you ever caught yourself in that moment of comparison, feeling that twinge of “I’ll never be able to do that”? I want to share how this very human experience can transform how you view these moments.
The Primitive vs. Thriving Mind
Our brain’s primitive comparison system served us well for survival. It quickly assesses: “Am I strong enough to fight? Fast enough to flee? Should I defer or keep my distance?”
This instinct still helps us navigate potentially dangerous situations — from crossing the street to avoiding toxic work environments where bosses use fear to keep us in survival mode.
But there’s a more evolved way to use comparison — one that serves our thriving rather than just our surviving.
Finding Your Unique Expression
Imagine watching someone powerfully and gracefully dunk a basketball. If you’re not tall enough to ever dunk, that comparison can sting.
But here’s the magic: What if we look deeper at what really attracts us in that moment?
When I described dunking, two words emerged: Power and Grace.
The yearning isn’t really about dunking — it’s about expressing power and grace in our own unique way.
A 5’2" gymnast might never dunk a basketball, but they can express incredible power and grace in ways a 7-foot basketball player never could.
Transforming Comparison into Inspiration
Here’s how to make comparison work for your thriving:
Notice when a comparison feels “sticky” or emotional.
Ask yourself: “What qualities am I really admiring here?”
Consider: “How might I express these qualities in my own unique way?”
A Drinking Example
In my own life, I noticed how I admired certain qualities in others’ social connections. Instead of feeling bad about not being a “drinking buddy” type, I recognized my yearning for meaningful connection. This led me to cultivating “spirit buddies” – deep, authentic connections that align with who I am.
Finding Your Power and Grace… Here and Now
Even in something as simple as my morning mile, I’ve found my own expression of power and grace: using walking sticks, moving through the forest like a sure-footed animal! It’s not about being a cheetah or a mountain lion. It’s about being me, walking with my own brand of power and grace.
The Liberation
When we shift from “I can’t do that” to “How can I express these qualities in my own way?” the comparison loses its bite. It becomes guidance pointing us toward our own authentic heartistry.
Remember: Every primal instinct, including comparison, can serve our thriving when we learn to use it framed in wisdom. Your unique expression of these talents awaits!
What qualities are you admiring in others today? How might you express them in your own powerful way?
Keep Thriving… Now and Onwards!
Rick
https://www.thrivingnow.com/beyond-comparison/

2024-12-20 01:05:46 UTC

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Delighted to be a new Premium member. I was getting seriously frustrated with some of the other Nostr options when I found Primal and settled on it web/ios. It's been my go-to. The backup option was a solid reason to go premium — and you hav so much more! I decided for various reasons not to use the Alby extension so would love a Primal option to get away from the PIN. Appreciate you and your heartistry!

2024-12-19 16:09:23 UTC

“I forgot the gift cards I made… My 11:45 client needs them. Is there any chance you’d be able to bring them by?”
Yes, sure!
They are sweet, hand-crafted cards Jem made. And with all the things involved in being a Mama to two kids (and my partner, and an extraordinary acupuncturist)… she forgot the cards this morning.
And I am free to say YES to bringing them to her.
When we talk about Thriving, I want to make sure we include the option to say YES to “going out of our way” for those we love, those who our heart wants to be responsive to.
Freedom is crafted, not bestowed. My freedom to be able to do this was consciously built.
I’ve always yearned for the freedom to say YES… I did need to learn to say NO, of course. I needed to get clear that, for me, being my own “boss” meant I would be working for the one person who completely shares my values and intentions.
Is this the type of lifestyle you, also, want to build? If so, I care about you succeeding. If that appeals to you, to have me as part of your circle of support, I invite you to go here and tell me more:
Building a Thriving Lifestyle - Just 3 Questions
https://www.thrivingnow.com/build/
As we head towards 2025, I’ll share more about building and re-building. Those who choose to respond and engage will help guide those efforts as will our circle members.
It’s time. It’s time to Be Thriving Now. Together is better for this than the solo slog, while holding sacred the freedom for you to find your YES and live a YES Life.
Love to you, and Happy Solstice!
Appreciate You! My inbox is open! https://m.primal.net/NAol.png

2024-12-16 22:36:58 UTC

Thriving Anyway
We covered…
• Embrace the “Yes, and” mindset - Acknowledge challenges while still finding joy, like recovering from a flood yet still savoring moments with loved ones
• Practice breath awareness - When caught in worry, notice your in-breath to ground yourself in the present moment
• Build emotional tolerance and range gradually - Start small, like reading challenging news for just a minute while tapping, then slowly increase capacity
• Accept duality of experiences - You can be grieving and grateful simultaneously; life holds multiple emotions at once
• Focus on what’s in your control - When faced with uncertainty, ask “How can I be thriving anyway?” to reveal opportunities for emotional nourishment and gratitude
• Shift from fear to caring - Notice the love beneath your worries to open new perspectives and solutions
• Come home to the present - Use simple practices like noticing your breath or surroundings to anchor yourself when overwhelmed
• Find micro-moments of joy - Even in difficult times, savor small pleasures like morning coffee or connection with loved ones
• Model resilience for others - By developing these skills, you become an inspiration for those around you
• Practice emotional freedom - Use tools like EFT tapping to acknowledge feelings and shift energy when stuck
• Remember your capacity - You can hold awareness of both challenges and joys, finding your way back to what truly matters.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1418/7

2024-12-12 17:35:25 UTC

Thriving… Anyway!
Now… Not when everything (!) comes together.
Now… Not when all the contrast goes away.
Now… Not when nothing is “wrong” with your body, your relationships, your home, your work, your country, or the World.
Because we’re wise enough to know that if we wait for that… we’ll be dead before we thrive.
Must be a skill then! It must be a skill to be able to be aware of that which is not “thriving” to our heart, mind, and primitive brain… and
Be Thriving Anyway.
That’s what Cathy and I will focus in on for this Real Skills Workshop.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/thriving-anyway/1418

2024-12-09 04:22:13 UTC

Holiday Loops with the Lights Stuck On
Tonight at the Lake Julian Drive-Thru Light Festival, I experienced one of those “surprise teaching moments” that mirrors my journey toward emotional freedom and self-acceptance.
The Unexpected Challenge
Picture this: a beautiful evening at a holiday light festival, where everyone is kindly asked to turn off their headlights. Simple enough, right? Yet my car had other ideas. Despite setting the lights to “off,” they stubbornly kept turning back on every time we moved forward. As someone who deeply values being considerate of others, this triggered a familiar discomfort - that feeling when we want to do the right thing but circumstances seem to work against us.
The Mirror of Our Inner World
This experience beautifully reflects how our nervous system sometimes operates. Just like my car’s automated safety feature that wouldn’t let the lights stay off, our nervous system occasionally keeps our “lights on” - staying activated even when we consciously want to calm down and regulate.
Finding Peace in the Present
What transformed this potentially frustrating experience was a conscious shift in perspective. Instead of remaining caught in the discomfort, I chose to ground myself during that first loop through the festival. By our second time around, something magical happened - Adira was cuddled in Jem’s lap up front, Emerald had his window down capturing photos, and we were all more present in the joy of the moment.
The Deeper Teaching
This experience reminds us that we don’t always know what’s happening in someone else’s world. Whether it’s the person cutting across traffic (perhaps racing to avoid being fired) or someone whose behavior seems inconsiderate, there’s usually more to the story than meets the eye.
The Gift of Acceptance
Through my work with EFT tapping and emotional freedom coaching, I’ve learned that accepting unwanted realities - rather than fighting against them - often leads to unexpected peace. It’s not about giving up or giving in, but about choosing where to focus our energy.
Sometimes our inner lights stay on when we’d rather dim them. Sometimes our nervous system remains activated despite our best efforts to calm down. And that’s okay. By accepting these moments rather than fighting them, we create space for joy to find its way in.
The real victory isn’t in forcing our lights to turn off - it’s in finding ways to thrive even when things aren’t exactly as we’d like them to be. That’s what building a truly thriving lifestyle is all about: working with what is, rather than exhausting ourselves fighting against it.
Remember, you’re allowed to take second loops around life’s challenges. You’re allowed to ground yourself, to regulate at your own pace, and to find your way to acceptance in your own time. That’s not just okay - it’s exactly what healing looks like.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/holiday-loops-with-the-lights-stuck-on/1426/1

2024-12-06 13:18:00 UTC

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2024-12-05 17:04:24 UTC

From Survival Mode to Heart-Led Thriving
Have you ever noticed how a crisis can instantly snap everything into sharp focus? Whether it’s falling into an icy creek in the wilderness or facing a modern-day emergency, our primitive brain knows exactly what to do. It’s been keeping us alive for millennia, helping us navigate immediate dangers and plan for future challenges.
This ancient wisdom helped our ancestors store food, cure meat, and save seeds for the next planting season.
But here’s what fascinates me as an emotional freedom coach: Many of us are still constantly operating from this “survival” mode, even when we’re materially secure. I see successful executives pushing themselves relentlessly, as if they’ll starve tomorrow without landing that next deal.
They might achieve great heights, but at what cost?
When I ask them if they’re truly present enough to smile at their children’s laughter, knowing they’re co-creating those precious moments, the answer often reveals they’re still stuck in survival mode.
It’s not entirely our fault. We’ve been raised in hierarchical systems that deliberately manipulate our survival instincts. Think about it — those big mortgages that keep us tethered to 60-hour workweeks, the constant fear of job loss, the endless stream of advertisements telling us we’re not enough without their product…
These are all designed to keep us operating from our primitive brain, trading our freedom for the illusion of security. And it works, because we humans are still susceptible to having our fears triggered and reacting to it with behaviors and purchases we don’t even care about that much.
But there’s another way. As freedom-oriented individuals, we can pause and ask ourselves: What would truly thriving look like if we removed the pursuit of status and hierarchy?
What lights us up from within? What allows us to serve others from a place of authentic connection rather than fear-based obligation?
Sometimes, the shift from surviving to thriving starts with something as simple as offering a kind word to someone who rarely receives them. It costs us nothing, yet it nourishes both hearts in the exchange. This is the essence of what I call “heartistry” — the art of living from our heart’s wisdom rather than our primitive brain’s fears.
I’m deeply committed to creating a warmer, more nourishing energy in our world. This means moving away from fear-based marketing that triggers our primitive brain’s “fear of missing out” and towards genuine invitations that honor each person’s journey. It means recognizing when media is manipulating our fears and choosing to cultivate calming influences instead.
Here’s a powerful truth I’ve discovered: It only takes one person who’s emotionally regulated and kind to begin shifting the energy of a family or community. And if your biological family isn’t a source of nourishment, it’s perfectly okay to create your thriving connections elsewhere.
One of the most valuable skills we can develop is the ability to recognize when we’re being driven by our primitive brain and having practices to shift out of that mode.
Pause and consider: “Is this truly life and death?” If the answer is no — if you could survive it for another day, week, or even a lifetime — then it’s open to influence and change. That’s where the real opportunity for thriving begins.
As we continue this journey together, I invite you to join me in exploring what it means to live from that sweet spot where heart and mind connect, where creativity flows, and where true thriving becomes not just possible, but natural. Because when we learn to calm our primitive brain and operate from our heart’s wisdom, we don’t just survive — we create a life that’s truly extraordinary.
Let’s support each other in knowing our hearts, expressing our unique gifts, and moving through the world with calm confidence. Now and onwards, together.
Love,
@RickThrivingNow

2024-12-05 01:37:02 UTC

The Heart of Courage: More Than Bravery
The word courage springs from the heart — not just in language, but in its very essence. While our stories and celebrations have painted courage as dramatic acts of bravery, the true energy of courage flows much deeper and quieter than facing down our greatest fears.
I’ve sat with countless Freedom Kin sharing their life journeys, and when I ask if they see themselves as courageous, they often say no. Despite navigating trauma, choosing kindness in hardship, or showing up consistently for what matters, they don’t recognize their own courage. Like artists who doubt their creativity because their work isn’t hanging in galleries, they’ve absorbed a limited view of what courage means.
In building a thriving life, courage manifests as a lifestyle — not in grand gestures or feats of willpower, but in consistent, heart-centered choices.
The heart generates the strongest electromagnetic field in our body, reaching far beyond our physical form, connecting us in ways science is still discovering. This energy touches everyone around us, palpable across space and time.
Yet, so many of us live in our heads, constantly analyzing, thinking about what’s next, should be next, must be next. While there’s nothing wrong with thinking, it’s not the same as living from the heart — what I call “heartistry.” True courage invites us to shift from mere thinking to feeling and being.
The people I’ve been blessed to work with have shown me that courage emerges when we stay present with our past without getting lost in it, when we bridge the gap between our aspirations and reality, when we accept uncomfortable feelings like regret or uncertainty. It springs from a deep yearning — not just to survive, but to thrive, to create relationships based on authentic connection rather than mere transaction.
Your heart knows things your head can’t explain. When we pause and drop from our racing thoughts into our heart’s wisdom, we access a deeper kind of courage. This courage guides us toward choices that align with what truly matters, both in life’s big decisions and in each moment’s small choices.
Being courageous doesn’t mean you need to go skydiving or confront dragons. It means showing up with an open heart, day-after-day, creating value through presence rather than just performance. It means trusting that gut feeling filtered through heart wisdom, which often whispers “pause here” instead of screaming “run away.”
This is the courage that builds a truly thriving life — the courage to take that next step, to speak that word, to write, to love. Now and onwards, let’s embrace this heart-centered courage together.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/heart-centered-daily-courage/1424

2024-12-03 14:35:20 UTC

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https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/im-not-good-enough-yet/1421

2024-12-03 14:34:45 UTC

I’m not good enough! (Yet)
It’s true. I’m not good enough. You’re not good enough, either. But here’s where it gets interesting…
We’re probably not good enough to swim the English Channel right now, even though humans have done it. We’re likely not good enough to hop on a rocket ship and visit the International Space Station… even though people are living there right now.
But there’s a crucial difference between acknowledging our current limitations and letting them choke us. It’s like the difference between holding a rock in your hand versus having it stuck in your throat.
When these limiting beliefs get lodged in our psyche – whether from childhood or last week – they can feel suffocating.
The Magic of “Yet”
Here’s where everything starts to free up: Add the word “yet” to “I’m not good enough.”
Feel the difference:
“I’m not good enough to swim the English Channel… yet.”
“Oh, right – I’m a decent swimmer, but I haven’t trained for that distance or those conditions.”
“I need a support team, time, and lifestyle changes to do it.”
Is this The Thing that really MATTERS to me?
Notice how adding “yet” transforms it from a dead end into a doorway to exploration?
Why This Matters to Your Survival Brain
When we feel “not good enough,” it triggers our primitive brain’s survival mechanisms. This isn’t just about physical survival – it’s about emotional survival, identity survival, and social survival.
I see this especially with emotionally sensitive people (like myself) who retreat from sharing their heartistry with the world because they don’t feel equipped to handle criticism or judgment.
Building Your “Good Enough” Muscles
If something truly matters to you, there are always ways to build strength and skill – whether it’s physical strength to hike up a slope or emotional resilience to share your work publicly. I learned this firsthand with emotional self-management. I wasn’t naturally good at it, but it mattered to me to be more savvy with my emotional energy.
Your Invitation to Growth
Here’s my invitation to you:
1. Think of something you yearn you could do (or do more of)…
2. Notice where “I’m not good enough” shows up
3. Add “yet”
4. Then ask yourself and write down: “I’m willing to…what?.. to grow in this direction…”
If it matters enough, could you commit to 20 minutes a day to build that skill? Sometimes, if we’re not willing to do even that, we need to examine whether it truly matters to us or if there’s a deeper block it’s essential we address.
Remember: “I’m not good enough” isn’t meant to be a full stop. It’s meant to be a pause – a moment to assess what skills we are called to develop or what opportunities we yearn to cultivate.
Moving Forward
Take something that keeps coming up for you – that wish, that dream, that possibility. Where you’ve been telling yourself “I’m not good enough,” add your “yet.” Then add “And I’m willing to…” See where that takes you.
Every small step you take from this new perspective will enhance your thriving – now and onwards.
What’s your “yet” waiting to be acknowledged? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

2024-12-02 13:18:11 UTC

I notice that when I look at items on my to-do list that create pressure - that sense of have to, should, must - there’s an “or else” lurking beneath.
It may not be conscious, but it’s there, like that pressure we felt when studying for a test. The “or else” was the shame of not knowing the material and being “found out.” The fear of judgment.
The Primitive Brain’s “Or Else”
These “or else” thoughts live in our primitive brain. If you haven’t had water for two days, the “or else” is clear - you must get water or else you could die of thirst. That kind of “or else” served us well in survival. We come from survival-centered cultures where it was “chop wood, carry water, find something to eat or die.” We even acclimated into accepting that as the way of life.
Technology’s Gift of Choice
The truth is, for many of us, technology has changed this reality. I don’t have to walk miles to get drinkable water. There’s enough water right in my home not just to survive… but to take a hot bath. And I didn’t even have to chop wood to heat it!
The Push That Changes Everything
When I’m walking down a path delightedly enjoying life, really free to explore this or that, and someone comes along and starts pushing me forward - I’m in a very different walk at that point. I’m being pushed and prodded! Eeek, how can I enjoy myself?!?
It’s the same when I tell myself, “You need to exercise or else you’ll be one of those decrepit old men that can’t get off the couch.” That push transforms the experience from thriving back to just surviving.
From Survival to Crafting Our World
The opportunity to use our body-mind to craft our ecosystem - that’s thriving. When leaves fall and blow someplace we’d prefer they not be, we get a chance to use our body to craft our world. The opportunity to move our body, to express and build our strength, and expand our mobility so that our options expand - that’s thriving. See, thriving is about building and expanding and growing. Surviving is just getting by, getting through… because we have to.
Consider that morning coffee. We can approach it two ways:
“I need coffee to get off my butt and out of bed in the morning - or else I won’t have the energy to work”
Or savoring the warmth of it, the taste of it, and the way our body responds to its deliciousness
For your thriving today, notice: Is there an “or else” here? And if so, go a little deeper - or else… what?
If you were thriving and doing the exact same thing, what would that feel like?
Learn the language of thriving. Learn the frames of reference for thriving. It’s an invitation to transform every mundane task into an expression of your character, your values, and your curiosity.

2024-12-01 18:59:25 UTC

When “I Don’t Want To” Is Just the Beginning
I’m here at the gym. And there’s a reaction happening in my body. “I don’t want to go. I don’t want to go inside.” Look at all the cars… Bet it’s crowded… I’m tired…
I’ve noticed something about myself, and you may have noticed this about yourself too – my initial reaction to anything that requires physical, emotional, or mental energy is often “I don’t wanna!”
But that’s not guidance. It’s a reaction. A default reaction.
The Question Behind the Resistance
When it comes to activities, especially these kinds of physical activities, I’ve noticed that my first reaction of “I don’t wanna” is actually a question in disguise.
It could be translated inside me as: “What makes this REALLY matter to me right now?”
What makes it matter to me to go to the gym?
Well, I’m wanting more mobility and strength.
I want to maintain my vitality. I also want to grow it.
There’s a boost in my confidence when my body gets a chance to push and pull and push and pull in different dimensions in a controlled way, a safe way.
I’m not trying to push it. I’m not trying to drive myself to muscle failure. I’m not trying to tear myself down to build myself back up. Those don’t matter to me.
It does matter to me to get to express certain aspects of my strength that, well, so far this morning and cooking breakfast for the family and doing some work – these are not things where I’ve expressed my physical vibrancy and strength much at all.
The Power of Permission
And now as I’m talking about why it matters to me, I’m starting to look over at the door to the gym and I’m thinking, “You know, it’s time. This is my YES right now. For good and valued reasons.”
I share this because I believe it’s wise for us to recognize inside of ourselves (and in others that we love, too) that there can be a knee-jerk reaction that isn’t necessarily the truth.
When we learn in a savvy way that this reaction is actually asking a question – “Does this matter to me?” – we can move forward with intention.
The Transformation: Just 15 Minutes Later
So I just got out of the gym. 15 minutes. My heart is pumping in such a good way. There’s a depth to me. My muscles have been expressed. My vitality has been expressed.
Mindfully moving weight. Mindfully navigating other people. Mindfully choosing my next Yes.
Do I feel awesome? Well, that’s not what I’d call it.
I feel me. I feel more of me. I feel myself more alive and indeed more thriving now.
Why This Matters
I think about all the things that I want to do where being able to move 40 pounds, 60 pounds, can make the difference between being able to enjoy a trip or a walk or carrying my daughter… and not.
Much of what we’re exploring within the Thriving Now Circle around thriving lifestyle includes our capacity to move our energy physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
If your default is to conserve your energy, good for you! You’re human. But if you never get past that default reaction, you won’t be thriving. You’ll be surviving.
From Surviving to Thriving
The thriving heart says, “Physical vitality is a part of me.” My cells every day, even if I’m lying on the couch, are regenerating. My heart is beating. My breath is going in and out.
What if I spent just a short segment of this day expressing myself more deeply and powerfully in the area of physical vitality?
Right now, as I sit here in my car, I feel warmer. My qi is ready to go walk outside. It’s a cold day. But now that my body has moved weight, it’s pumped. The iron in the gym helped me. Now I can go for a walk and enjoy this beautiful sunshine and the crisp day instead of staying stuck in a default reaction: “Oh, it’s too cold, I don’t wanna.”
Onwards!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/when-i-dont-want-to-is-just-the-beginning/1419/1

2024-11-28 22:21:34 UTC

In primal nostr app on iOS when I try to zap I get warning unable to complete operation. Have plenty of sats balance in primal. Tried zapping different accounts. Not sure what to do next @npub12vk…pugg

2024-11-16 20:04:02 UTC

“It was my favorite tree,” she said with love and peace.
I caught up with her on the trail this morning, one of the Tree Lover Kin I had not yet met. She was not wailing and crying over her lost friend. (Perhaps she’d already done that.)
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/re-building-taking-with-us/1417

2024-11-14 12:49:35 UTC

Let's build together the world we want to Be Thriving in...
https://m.primal.net/MCxB.png

2024-11-02 18:09:07 UTC

I used to “should” on myself constantly.
Shifting that was one of the first things I used EFT Tapping to resolve. To “be done” with shoulding.
Yes, it made me sensitive to my own shoulds. It made me SUPER sensitive to others shoulding on me.
The freedom… delicious.
I still do anything and everything that I’m aligned with. If it matters to me, I do it. Not because I should… because my Being knows it’s my choice.
Now, I wanted to share another person’s potent perspective on should’s and their own choice to be done with them…
https://fortheinterested.com/why-im-done-using-the-word-should/

2024-10-19 15:00:16 UTC

When we're wanting to Build, we can feel the need to go go go, to stack blocks (even if the foundation isn't yet strong). Slowing down can mean taking just enough of a powerful pause to become relaxed and alert — calm and confident in the next YES.
https://m.primal.net/LbCh.png

2024-10-17 14:49:20 UTC

It's time to re-Build. I am asking you to help me do that, if it is a YES for you.
It has been a growing awareness inside me for months. It's time to Build. With the devastation not only in Asheville (my family's home) but in other places in the world, too, it's time to re-Build as well.
Do I know exactly what that looks like? No. Because it is meant to be Sourced from those who want to contribute from their own heartistry.
We of the Freedom Kin are positioned — through the healing we've done, the real skills we're learning, and the values we share — to co-create what is essential for Thriving... Now and Onwards.
So I have two Ask's right now:
(1) Share with me to help guide me energy: What are you yearning to build and grow that will cultivate heart-centered thriving for yourself and others? Answer that here, if you would:
https://www.thrivingnow.com/build/
(2) As we move forward, your engagement and reflections are immensely helpful! (One circle member the other day sent me an email quoting just one line I'd shared with a simple note: "This is meaning a lot to me this week." So helpful to me!)
Whether replying by email or in the community center or social media, the rare specific feedback I get helps steer the energy for all of us. Engagers matter! It's one of the aspects of thriving I want to build and re-build.
Maybe neither of these will be what you do. If you are in the midst of focused Healing, yes, we continue to have resources for that essential part of Life.
I just KNOW, in my heart and soul, that the Builders Matter in the segment of human evolution to come. Amidst dysfunctions, can we bring emotional savvy and hearty optimism? Yes. Yes, We Can.
To do that, well, support is essential. I see that in the crisis recovery in Asheville. I know it's profoundly true in trauma recovery — we're meant to heal and grow resilience in connection with other safe, Present, and regulated hearts.
For building, we will hit challenges we will need to Rise into. Together that's easier. New technologies are becoming available. We can apply emotional technology like EFT Tapping to restore calm confidence — always essential when building.
And there's another aspect I've noticed: when we are building together, sharing space with someone else who is feeling for their YES helps us to know our own YES... is such a beautiful experience. It happens over and over again in our circle sessions.
Does this appeal to you? How so?
Do you have questions? Please ask.
And if you are ready to do some building and re-building together, you are encouraged to share that here:
https://www.thrivingnow.com/build/
Appreciate You! My inbox is open!

2024-09-10 11:17:35 UTC

MOVE! Zoom! Who cares about speed limits, double yellow lines, safety, and longevity!
He was racing the clock… battling for position those who were not even racing.
So yes, I felt quite smug about 5 minutes later when I pulled up behind him as he sat behind a delivery truck at a stop light — him fuming and revving, me all calm and confident. Bwaahahaha. The tortoise is wise!
Lives a LOT longer, too.
A hare in the wild lives maybe 3 years. A tortoise 80 to 255 years. Woah.
Yet how many of us feel rushed by clock pressure? How many of us speed up to be “on time” when recognizing that spaciousness would allow a very different kind of journey?
It’s not even a race.
Well, unless you’re a rat — in the rat race.
For us Freedom Kin, “racing” feels like pressure, tension, strain, and Never Enoughness. It’s a signal — like the red check engine light, redline in the car, stoplight… and unexpected medical diagnosis.
Slow down. Unrush yourself.
Our culture is so whacked that “unrush” is not even considered a word. RUSH is, though. Let’s shift that.
When we shift from rushing to Being Unrushed, our body changes. Our nervous system has more capacity. Our cells and systems have space to heal and strengthen (which they do not if we’re doing the biomedical equivalent of yelling FIRE FIRE FIRE all the time).
Unrushed, we actually go where we want to go… faster. But I don’t mean faster at racing place and place, checking off to-do items. I mean being clear and present while doing work that matters deeply to us, building what will endure for our long and well-savored thriving life.
Join us TODAY go deep into this skill together. We’re delighted to explore this with you! Everyone who registers will get emailed the recording.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1402

2024-09-04 14:47:58 UTC

𝗦𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗚𝗼 𝗙𝗮𝘀𝘁
Rushed? Try Unrushed.
Do Work That Matters without urgency or pressure.
Of course we can have passion! Excitement even! A drive to make a difference and be of profound service.
As soon as we’re feeling like it is Urgent… the have-to’s kick in. The should have’s haunt us at the end of the day.
For us Freedom Kin, when we feel forced we stop. Distraction takes us away from THAT. We might become aware we’re “procrastinating” and yet unclear how impactful the pressure is at disconnecting us from our heart’s energy and power.
Slowing down feels… counterintuitive. When we’ve been told we’re “too slow” or “need to accomplish more More MOAR!” — aren’t we going against the dominant culture if we slow down?!?
We ARE! Excellent! Because the work that flows from taking inspired, unrushed actions… move us with emotional intelligence and savvy skill towards building our thriving life (and sharing it with those we hold dear).
And we move faster, too.
Join us to go deep into this skill together. We’re excited to explore this with you!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1402

2024-08-28 14:01:38 UTC

Reframe to Thrive - Building Emotional Agility for Life-Changing Work
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1387/3
We covered…
Embrace reframes as a powerful tool for emotional agility. Notice how shifting your perspective can create more lightness and range of motion in your life.
Recognize that your current frames may be survival-based. Gently explore new frames that support your thriving and align with your deepest intentions.
Practice using the Discernment Frame rather than the Harsh Judgment Frame. This shift can open up new possibilities and help you navigate challenges with more grace.
Explore the frame of “human being” rather than “human doing”. How might this perspective nourish your soul and enhance your relationships?
When facing criticism or self-doubt, ask yourself: “How can I be Useful here and now?” This reframe invites you to recognize your unique gifts and contributions and how they can be activated NOW.
Explore viewing your life and work through an Ecosystem lens. How does this frame help you see the interconnectedness of your efforts and their ripple effects?
Cultivate emotional agility by consciously switching frames. Notice when a current frame isn’t serving you, and experiment with alternative frames that energize you.
Use tapping to support your reframing process. This physical act can help your body and mind integrate new perspectives more easily.
Parenting and relationships grow and deepen with frames of Curiosity, Kindness, Generosity, and Appreciation… even when addressing challenges. How might this shift your interactions?
Practice seeing situations from multiple perspectives — Re-Perceive! This “emotional cross-training” builds your agility and resilience in facing life’s complexities.
Celebrate small shifts in perspective. Each reframe is an opportunity for growth and a step towards the thriving, purposeful life you’re building.
Remember, Dear Builder, these reframes are invitations to explore, not pressure to change overnight. As you listen to the workshop, notice which aspects resonate most deeply with your heart. Allow yourself to play with new perspectives, knowing that each small shift can lead to profound transformations in your life and work. You’re already on this journey of growth – let these reframes be gentle companions as you continue to build and thrive.

2024-08-26 22:22:36 UTC

I was framed! So were you.
We all were.
Were you also looked at through the Frame of COMPARISON? Compared to siblings, other students, other players? Whether you compared favorably or poorly, comparison is... stressful. Seriously dis-ease provoking.
Was family life seen through the Frame of Struggle and Scarcity? Or the Frames of Gratitude and Abundance?
Our Inner Life Interpreter requires frames of reference. They help us make sense of the world. They act as filters... and they also act as limits.
If we evaluate our lives based on the Frame of Success and Failure, then we won't even see all the ways life can be Re-Framed as an Adventure, an Exploration, a Mystical Journey of Discovery of Our Gifts.
See what I mean?
Rather than having our life "framed" for us, Reframing frees us to choose the frames that serve us.
Oh, and that "It's Either Right or Wrong Frame" — yeah, that is one of those 79 cent black and white plastic ones from the Dollar Store. Not useful for Thriving.
Cathy and I will be exploring reframes that better serve our emotional well-being tomorrow (Tuesday). Reframing is a skill. We'll be looking at frames so many of us have and how when we perceive (and re-perceive) our life through more flattering (and useful!) frames, we GET energy rather than lose it.
Consider joining us. Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
https://thrivingnow.center/t/1387

2024-08-21 11:37:15 UTC

𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗔𝗴𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗶𝘀 𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗮𝗹 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲-𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸. But our primitive brain is rigid. It sees narrowly. It insists. It blocks and stops and criticizes. Reframing builds emotional agility.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1387

2024-08-20 14:38:42 UTC

- reply

Your work has certainly put Madeira on my family's dream visit places. I'm curious, do you have a sense of how many businesses there are on the island? Meaning, what is the adoption %? Feels like there is/will be a point where the "chasm" is crossed for a community, and I'm curious at what point you feel that has happened there. Appreciate what you're doing!

2024-08-19 12:36:05 UTC

Boundaries ARE a co-creation that is sourced from our clarity, strengthened through confidence that what matters to us MATTERS and is not "subservient" to others.
Cathy and I so appreciate those who brought their clarity, questions, and wisdom to the workshop. We touched on potent areas that support building a thriving life for ourselves and WITH those who are compatible with an attitude of, "Absolutely, I want to survive, AND there is so much more to life!"
https://youtu.be/pL08FhmYvMQ
𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 - 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗘𝘅𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗮𝘃𝘃𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
Before reviewing this session:
1. What does "graceful exit" mean to me in the context of relationships or commitments?
2. Can I recall a time when I successfully adjusted a boundary or exited a situation or commitment? How did it feel?
3. What fears come up when I think about exiting a situation or relationship?
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗪𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱:
Boundaries aren’t just about protection; they’re fluid and honor both your guidance and others’. Imagine them as a dance that allows you to thrive and be in your heartistry.
Graceful exits aren’t about rejection. They’re about aligning with your current energy and needs. Next time you need to bow out, try saying, “Can we take a rain check? I’m feeling like I need some quiet time right now.”
Start small! Practice setting boundaries with safe people first. You don’t have to confront your scariest relationships right away. Build that muscle gradually.
Tune your sensors inward. Before you can communicate your needs, you need to know what they are. Take time to check in with yourself regularly.
Hinting and hoping isn’t savvy communication. Instead, try stating your request directly but kindly. For example: “I’m noticing I’m feeling chaotic with this conversation. Could we be quiet for a few minutes so I can regulate myself?”
Obligation often comes with rigid expectations. Try reframing it as devotion, which allows for more flexibility and love. It’s not “I’m obligated to change this diaper,” but “I’m devoted to my child’s well-being.”
When setting new boundaries, give people a heads-up. Try saying, “I want to deepen our relationship, so I’ll be speaking up about my needs more. I’d love your support in this.”
Remember: You’re not responsible for managing others’ emotions about your boundaries. It’s okay to comfort them if it’s a yes for you, but their feelings are ultimately their responsibility.
Freeing up energy sometimes means gracefully exiting situations or relationships that no longer serve you. It’s okay to recalibrate and put your energy where it matters most to you.
Boundaries for thriving are in motion – they can shift over time as you grow and change. Allow yourself the freedom to adjust your dance as needed.
If you can’t say no in the moment, it’s okay to make an excuse and address it later. The most important thing is tuning into yourself and practicing in ways that feel safe.

2024-08-18 10:37:37 UTC

Do you find it hard to leave? Yeah, me too.
Yet, if we keep every activity and every person "within our life" we end up with no space and freedom. Which means... if you want to build more thriving it is essential to make more space.
I left an executive technology role to become a coach. But before the graceful exit, I had to set uncomfortable boundaries to leave time for me to explore and develop my skills.
And some friendships changed during that time, too. Activities stopped for new ones to start. Things I owned that were once precious required a fresh look — many moved on.
But if you're the type of person who is more builder than destroyer, exits require skill. How do you communicate when you know the other person(s) won't be happy?
Cathy and I know there is no "easy" answer. There can be ways that are more kind and respectful. There are definitely ways that protect what matters to you and give you energy and space to invest in building a more thriving life.
Would this be useful for you? If so, please join us (or sign up to get the recording). And YES! You can exit at any time.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1386

2024-08-13 17:40:07 UTC

Sunday: 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗠𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 - 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗘𝘅𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝗮𝘃𝘃𝘆 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗺𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗰𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1386

2024-07-24 21:58:35 UTC

Perfectly Imperfect: Thriving Through Authentic Action
We covered...
* Perfectionism is a healthy aspiration that's been kicked in the ass. Recognize when you're pushing yourself too hard and recalibrate to your true aspirations.
* Embrace being a student-teacher. It's okay not to know everything – in fact, it's liberating! Say "I don't know this yet" and enjoy the learning process.
* Authentic action feels like you, even if it's awkward. It's about being congruent with your values and moving towards your aspirations.
* Notice where perfectionism traps you. Is it in social situations? At work? Identifying these areas is the first step to freeing yourself.
* Tapping (EFT) can help you navigate perfectionist tendencies. Use it to calm your nervous system and access your embodied wisdom.
* Aspire, don't require. Instead of demanding perfection, ask yourself what you're truly aspiring to in any given situation.
* Practice being "perfectly imperfect." It's not about letting go of all standards, but embracing your humanity and allowing room for growth.
* Cultivate emotional freedom by choosing your responses. You can't control everything, but you can choose how you react and what you focus on.
* Remember, you're not alone in this. We're all aspiring imperfectionists, learning to thrive through authentic action.
By exploring these concepts, you'll start to loosen the grip of perfectionism and free up energy for what truly matters to you. It's not about being flawless – it's about being authentically you. So go ahead, give yourself permission to be perfectly imperfect. Your thriving life awaits!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1380/4

2024-07-22 13:59:40 UTC

On the grading scale inflicted on me, B+ meant you were close... but failed.
Not failed like an F. But failed as in not meeting expectations for "knowing" and "performing" or even "competence." Ugh, WTF. Why do we train in such a way?!?
Because it's training not learning, growing, expressing, and thriving.
Perfectly Imperfect says to me that my perceptions — and even my misperceptions — have usefulness. My actions that lead to a "dead end" give me information. Wisdom gathered the Hard Way that is shared with others often helps us all gain Wisdom that doesn't require nearly as much pain.
So can I be satisfied with a B+ ???
No, I cannot. Because I cannot be happy on some arbitrary and judgmental scale like that.
What I can is offer my Be+
Be-ing my authentic self. Be+ to me is being who I am, what I know about myself and what matters to me, what I am curious about, what I am co-creating... and ADDING that into the We-Space. Adding Me to We.
The helps us build a thriving life for ourselves and with others.
It takes skill. It takes getting beyond our "training" into our freedom and heartistry. Imperfectly. Which is just... perfect.
Want to explore this with us? We're getting together tomorrow! Consider joining us. Everyone gets the recording who signs up.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1380

2024-07-21 14:53:11 UTC

𝗣𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗘𝗺𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴
Had such a vibrant time with Gene exploring a few of the Useful Concepts for Thriving.
Key insights
🧠 EFT can serve as an emotional technology to help us become aware of and upgrade the survival framework that limits us.
🧠 The concept of "𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗵" in relationships is ever-changing and dependent on context, not just past history.
🌱 Embracing 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗶𝘀𝗺 can set us free from striving for a delusion of perfection and allow for improvement in any situation.
🌍 𝗦𝘁𝗲𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 emphasizes serving oneself, family, and community, shifting the focus from individual success to collective well-being.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35fkeqrrTmQ

2024-07-20 12:59:53 UTC

Have you noticed how our relentless pursuit of perfection often becomes a trap, painfully holding us back from fully expressing our authentic selves and experiencing life’s richness? Consider joining us Tuesday...
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1380

2024-07-15 01:34:28 UTC

Now & Onwards - Releasing the Old, Embracing the New
Real Skills Workshop
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1379/4
We covered…
Recognizing stale patterns: Learn to identify when past traumas or experiences have become “stale” in your life. This awareness is a useful step towards releasing old, unhelpful patterns.
Embracing the NOW: Discover techniques to ground yourself in the “now” rather than being pulled into past traumas or future anxieties.
Activation energy for change: Understand the concept of “activation energy” needed to make positive changes in your life. This insight helps you overcome inertia and move onwards with what matters to you.
Reframing “have to” into choice: Learn to transform feelings of obligation into opportunities for empowered decision-making.
Honoring your unique rhythm: Explore ways to respect your individual energy cycles and needs, as an antidote to comparing yourself to others.
Pattern interrupts: Discover actionable techniques like the “aardvark” safe word to interrupt negative thought patterns and manage overwhelming emotions in daily life.
Cultivating self-compassion: Learn to approach your emotions and experiences with kindness rather than judgment.
Embracing vulnerability: Understand the power of allowing yourself to be vulnerable and authentic in relationships.
Balancing acceptance and change: Learn to navigate the delicate balance between accepting yourself as you are and striving for positive change.
Somatic awareness: Develop skills to tune into your body’s physical sensations as a way to process emotions and release trapped energy. This body-mind connection is a powerful tool for healing.
Creating new, empowering energy directives: Learn to craft fresh, supportive stories about yourself and your experiences. This reframing can transform your relationship with your past and open new possibilities onwards into your thriving life.

2024-07-09 14:41:22 UTC

https://amzn.to/4cxWAxq
I bought this book 25 years ago. I never read it. Just the TITLE was enough.
Punished by Rewards
I’ve come a long way in letting go of the need for a gold star or yummy treat or more More MORE MONEY as a reward for putting in effort.
Still…
“They” (meaning everyone) conditioned my animal brain to seek reward… and if the reward wouldn’t come… and I wasn’t going to alternatively be punished… then WHY bother?
This limiting belief still gets activated in me (often by default).
It takes awareness and energy to shift out of this mode.
Is it happening again? Am I in the: “but why bother if I’m not going to be rewarded (or punished) in a big-enough way?”
If I am in that mode, it’s essential to my thriving to shift out of it. I do that by tuning into whether it actually MATTERS to me. How does it express who I am, who and what is precious to me? If it does not, then yeah, I am not going to bother.
If it DOES matter, then at minimum I will be nourished by putting my life energy into what matters to me (regardless of reward). It will feel different from the gold star, or “good boy!”, or yummy dessert. It will feel…
Meaning-FULL. Full of meaning.
Ful-FILL-ing. Filling me towards fullness.
That sensation is palpable. It just happens to be quieter, more subtle, than a dopamine rush (or crash).
I’m getting to a place where “reward seeking” has a similar tone to shoulding on myself. Neither activates my heartistry anymore.
Adapting to that is weird. But it is not classical procrastination. It is not classical avoidance. It’s compatible with making money but not the “driver” of it.
Exploring this feels like a core aspect to thriving. Who will we be, as humans, if – for example – we don’t “have to” work for the A+ or the paycheck. Who CAN we be if our energy is directed through freedom and doing work that matters WITH Source rather than for “rewards” of the survival kind?
Hmmmm… Mmmmm.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/punished-by-rewards/1382

2024-07-09 14:40:01 UTC

𝗘𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗮𝘆𝘀
I realized at one point that I had a gift that has significant challenges to it… and no one around me knew how to teach me to use it in rewarding ways.
Empathy.
Being an empath has profound rewards – if and only if we either are raised in a natural environment where empathy thrives (and who amongst us had THAT growing up?!?) or… we develop the skills and wisdom later in life.
On today’s morning mile, I pondered with my spirit buddy what a core skill is for an empath. Here’s a synopsis of what we explored:
Empath = emotional path.
Emotion = energy in motion
Empaths are gifted at having PATHWAYS for Energy in Motion.
Someone has big feelings? (Energy in them in motion)… we’ll have pathways to us and through us for that energy.
The skill is to develop energy skill and conscious pathways.
If someone is a people pleaser without energy skill, any “ask” can end up running rough trod over the empath. We can even feel “stepped on” like a “door mat” – right?
Empathways (“The Empath Ways”) offers us insight that we offer pathways for energy for those we are connected to. Where is the energy to flow and go?
Is it something for us to consume and transform (like we do with food and water)?
Or is it, at least at times, a pathway for the energy towards recalibration, spiritual connection, deeper wisdom, and re-established balance?
A challenge I am rising into relates towards being clearer about the energy pathways I’m offering when others are distressed.
There IS a pathway in me from frustration and disappointment to acceptance and adapting. (And yeah, also one from frustration to yelling-in-frustration. Empaths have many paths in them.)
Choosing feels… right to me. It rises to the challenge of the energies present. How shall we move with it, not in coerced fashion but in invitation.
Going onwards from where I am now, I am exploring “less mirroring, more embodying other empath-ways.” Will be interesting!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/empath-ways/1384/1

2024-07-09 14:38:54 UTC

I have a “depleting belief.” It’s depleting because when it triggers, my life forces starts depleting.
The belief is not in my head. Or, at least not JUST in my head. I know better. Still… such is the nature of limiting beliefs. We know better, and yet the dynamic still exists within us and impacts our living (and thriving).
For me, it is a reaction to a challenge. Somehow, a “challenge” means I am unprepared (like being unprepared for a test). A challenge means I failed to do (or not do) “something” (not even God knows what!) to avoid it being a challenge!
Silly, eh?
And so normal. I was trained from a child that challenges meant I was less than the A+ student, less than the competent Good and Prepared Person that I value being.
(shaking my head)
Yet, challenges are a part of EVERYONE’s LIFE! Those I know who are thriving – have challenges they engage with every day. There’s an aliveness in challenges. Crafting a thriving life is challenging. Strengthening a changing and aging body is challenging. Being of hearty and aligned service with and for others is challenging.
Lovership is challenging. Finding lovership is challenging.
Finding kinship is challenging. Maintaining and deepening kinship is challenging.
Because if there is no challenge in it, is it not…
Mundane. Uninspiring. Trivial. Demotivating.
Deadening even…
This is where my work is this week. I am seeking to take the old “reaction” around challenges being a negative indicator (even a punishment) and recast them now and onwards as being full of reward!
It’s so rewarding to RISE into these hearty challenges. I am going to tap into my strengths, activate my curiosity, and strengthen aspects of myself as I go onwards.
Notice how I am integrating “rewarding” into this fresh energy pattern. As an animal I have a reward system (you do, too). It’s practical to include that activation energy into recasting a belief from depleting… to enlivening. Into one that brings flow TO us, full-filling us.
Curious if any of y’all have a bit of this, too? Want to explore it together?
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/rising-into-our-challenges/1383

2024-07-09 14:37:11 UTC

What is a mental or physical behavior that feels “old” to you… and what is the fresh new one you intend to embrace and vitalize for your thriving now… and onwards?
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1379

2024-07-09 02:35:09 UTC

- reply

Sealed glass jam jar helps tremendously in our house in fridge.

2024-07-08 17:47:05 UTC

http://24HoursOfTapping.com
Friday 3pm EDT starts 24 hours of free tapping sessions streamed on YouTube. There will be so much goodness!
Tapping for Clutter
Tapping for Self-Acceptance
Unlock Your Abundance
The Transformative Potential of Growing Your Business
Tapping in Response to the War in Ukraine
Tapping for Difficult and High-Risk Births
What if Healing is Largely Misunderstood?
Making Tapping Accessible to All
How Childhood Trauma Impacts Us As Adults
Tap Into Your Vibrant Health
Bringing Tapping to Schools and Educational Settings
Using Tapping for Trauma and Emotional Regulation in Correctional Facilities
Tapping for Spiritual Awakening
Tapping for Male Sexual Problems
Radical Self-Love is Everything
Tapping for Shame
Tapping for Chronic Stress and Self-Care
Energizing Relationships with Tapping
How to Tap for Negative Memories...Without Talking About It
Improve Your Eyesight with Tapping
Practical Concepts for Emotional Thriving (Mine)
Tapping Into Your Authentic Self
Releasing Resistance to Peak Performance
Working Safely with Trauma

2024-06-26 12:17:05 UTC

Dancing with Wisdom: Discerning Your Yes in Challenging Times
We covered…
Dancing with Wisdom is Spontaneous and Improvisational: Unlike traditional structured approaches, dancing with wisdom involves a responsive and flexible mindset, attuned to the moment’s needs and energies.
Tuning into Subtle Energies: Rather than reacting to the loudest voices or biggest threats, wisdom can be found in the subtle, quieter signals that our body and environment provide.
Understanding and Acknowledging Fear Responses: Recognize the impact of fear and the primitive brain’s response to external threats. Acknowledge these feelings without judgment, understanding that they are natural reactions.
Grounding Techniques: Use grounding techniques such as feeling your butt in your seat, taking deep breaths, and placing a hand on your heart to connect with your body and reduce anxiety.
Mindful Media Consumption: Be aware of the fear-inducing tactics used by the media. Limit exposure to such content and approach news consumption with an objective and critical mindset.
Physical Awareness and Connection: Engage in body awareness practices, like noticing your surroundings and the physical sensations in your body, to stay grounded and present.
Slowing Down to Reduce Stress: Slow down your reactions and responses to allow your body and mind to settle, creating space for wisdom to emerge.
Body as an Antenna for Truth: Recognize that your body is an antenna for what is true and real. Pay attention to physical signals and sensations as sources of wisdom.
Co-Regulation with Others: Spend time with calm and supportive people to co-regulate your emotional state. Being in a safe and caring environment can help you drop into a more relaxed state quickly.
Inviting Gentle Wisdom: When seeking guidance, invite wisdom gently by asking open-ended questions and allowing answers to come softly without forcing them.
Embracing Discomfort: Instead of avoiding discomfort, allow yourself to sit with it and breathe through it. This can transform discomfort into a source of insight and growth.
Dancing with the Heart: Engage with your heart by placing a hand on it and acknowledging its wisdom. The heart has a strong energy field and is sensitive to internal and external states.
Tapping into Meridian Channels: Use tapping techniques to stimulate meridian channels, which can help balance emotions and provide clarity.
Using Props for Clarity: Use physical objects to represent issues or decisions, moving them around to gain a different perspective and clarity.
Gratitude for Primitive Brain’s Wisdom: Acknowledge and appreciate the primitive brain’s role in survival, while also recognizing that modern circumstances may not require such heightened vigilance.
Inviting Fresh Wisdom: Recognize that you have access to new wisdom and resources that your ancestors did not, and use this to inform your decisions and actions.
Balancing Preparation and Stress: Understand that preparedness does not always require stress. Explore ways to prepare calmly and confidently.
Dancing with the Rhythms of Life: Tune into the rhythms of your life and body, whether slow and steady or more energetic, to access different aspects of wisdom.
Co-Creating with the Environment: Engage with your environment in a way that supports your well-being, whether it’s finding a peaceful spot in nature or a cozy corner in a café.
Trusting Small, Subtle Movements: Trust small, subtle movements and decisions, rather than waiting for big, obvious signs. This can guide you gently in the right direction.
Discernment Over Judgment: Focus on discerning your ‘yes’ in challenging times rather than making rigid decisions or judgments. This allows for a more flexible and adaptive approach.
Balancing Generous ‘Yes’ and Healthy Boundaries: Practice saying a generous ‘yes’ while maintaining healthy boundaries to prevent resentment and burnout.
Engaging with Guilt as a Poor Dance Partner: Recognize that guilt is not a helpful guide. Instead, focus on what feels true and aligned with your values and integrity.
Physical Activity for Emotional Regulation: Use physical activity, such as walking or gentle exercises, to regulate emotions and access deeper wisdom.
Daily Reflection for Insight: Spend a few minutes each day reflecting on your thoughts and emotions, writing down insights to connect with your inner guidance.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1373/7

2024-06-23 13:54:03 UTC

You may KNOW what is wise for you, but do you MOVE with it? Tapping, dancing, tap dancing are ways to move with your wisdom and embody it. We’ll explore how to move with your full body wisdom on Tuesday for 𝗗𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1373/6

2024-06-20 15:20:58 UTC

When decisions get challenging, what happens in your body and mind? We’ll explore how to move with your full body wisdom on Tuesday for 𝗗𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺: 𝗗𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗲𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗬𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1373/4

2024-06-04 16:35:44 UTC

𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗥𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁
Assertive energy has life force behind it. We can use that energy to write, dance, make art, and more.
Because most of us have been exposed more often to arrogance than assertiveness, it's useful to explore how to be assertive while not "running over" others.
A starting point can be to be assertive first with consent. If consent matters to you, check in first. "I'd love to explore something that matters to me. Is (what matters) interesting to you? Is now a good time?"
Consent has its own dialect and vocabulary. It's an evolving exploration, too. By asking, however awkwardly, we are radiating respect for the person(s) being asked. We are not assuming that because something is important to us it is (or "should be") important to them, too. Or that now is the right moment.
Respect extends to their freedom, too — especially their freedom to NOT get excited and even to not "get it."
If you want to amp up your assertiveness, try boosting your energy around consent and respect for freedom, too. The combination is potent for thriving together.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/assertive

2024-06-04 16:34:40 UTC

𝗕𝗲 𝗔𝘀𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗲𝗵𝗮𝗹𝗳 𝗼𝗳 𝗜𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘀 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿
What's an idea that matters to you?
Does it matter to you enough to share it?
Are you willing to explore the idea with others who hold differing perspectives?
Being assertive means putting your life energy into what matters. Yes, it is work to be assertive. It can call on your clarity and your courage. It can expose you to contrast as you share with those who don't care about what you deeply care about.
The great news is that being assertive about ideas is freeing! We're not saying, "I know best! (And if you respect me you'll agree!)" Arrogant advocacy is not what this is about.
Yes, it IS about what matters to us. But it is not personal.
Consider that co-creating matters to you. You share the concept. You invite people to be co-creators, too (with you and others in their life). Co-creating is an idea, and we assert that co-creating is a juicy fit for a thriving life! Co-creating matters to us.
Guess what… People seeking personal achievement and the hero's victory (THEIR victory) over adversity don't get excited about co-creating.
That's more than ok. That's diversity (another concept for thriving).
By being assertive, we readily discern those with interest from those don't. We're seeking congruence and engagement — not "dominance" over others (which always creates conflict and resistance).
So consider being assertive on behalf of ideas — ideas that matter to you.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/assertive

2024-06-03 15:18:01 UTC

What is meaningful self-care for your thriving? Join us for Soulful Self-Care: Balancing Indulgence and Heartfelt Compassion
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/soulful-self-care-balancing-indulgence-and-heartfelt-compassion/1372/3

2024-05-27 12:05:52 UTC

𝗥𝗲𝘄𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗮 𝗟𝗶𝗺𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝘁𝗼 𝗥𝗲-𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗔𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻
What We Covered:
1. Beliefs are like shortcuts - they can serve us by making it easier to navigate the world, but outdated beliefs formed when we were young or experienced trauma can also hold us back. It’s essential to re-examine and “rewire” beliefs as we grow and gain more life experience.
2. Questioning long-held beliefs can feel scary because it means admitting we don’t fully know how the world works. This triggers our survival brain, but on the other side of that discomfort is greater freedom and possibility. Be patient and compassionate with yourself through this process.
3. A key indicator that a belief is armored by trauma is when it feels illogical or overly black-and-white, like “I always fail” or “I’m too old to change.” Trauma beliefs are often formed in childhood and are reinforced by painful experiences, making them resistant to change through logic (or positive affirmations) alone.
4. To begin rewiring a limiting belief, get curious about the “because.” What experiences or messages from your past might have caused you to form this belief? Acknowledging the origin story with compassion is an important first step.
5. If a belief is stopping you from taking inspired action towards what matters to you, that’s a sign it needs updating. You can’t just think your way out of a limiting belief – you need to take small steps to have experiences that evolve it and reveal your true capabilities.
6. Appreciating a limiting belief’s positive intention, like keeping you safe, is more effective than beating yourself up. Thank the belief for its efforts, then gently open to the possibility that it may be outdated and you have outgrown the perceived threat. You’re more resilient now!
7. Beliefs rooted in trauma can narrow our perception of what’s possible. As you begin to dissolve the trauma and expand your tolerance for discomfort, whole new worlds can open up. What might become available if you were less limited by this belief?
8. There is no such thing as a “normal” path. Release the belief that you need to fit in or follow a prescribed timeline. You are a unique human with your own gifts, challenges, and natural rhythms. Let’s embrace our differences!!
9. Trying to avoid pain or discomfort takes an enormous amount of energy. As you dissolve limiting beliefs, you’ll likely discover a new lightness and vitality. Reclaiming your full self is a joyful, enlivening process.
10. Shifting limiting beliefs is courageous, challenging work. Be patient and savor each small win. Beliefs soften gradually with repeated inspired action. Each step is bringing you closer to a more authentic, thriving life.
11. Having a supportive community to cheer on your progress and lend a hand when you stumble is invaluable. Join with people who accept you as you are while encouraging your growth. You don’t have to go it alone in this process!
Remember, transformation is possible with awareness, acceptance, a dose of self-compassion, and a desire to slowly expand your comfort zone. Keep leaning in the direction of beliefs that inspire and energize you. You’ve got this!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/rewire-a-limiting-belief-to-re-inspire-action/1364/6

2024-05-19 21:23:30 UTC

Rewire a Limiting Belief to Re-Inspire Action
Real Skills Workshop: Inspired Action
Sun May 26 2024 at 5pm EDT / 2pm PDT (90 mins with a 7 min break)
We hope you’ll join us, and bring a guest!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1364

2024-05-15 14:17:40 UTC

𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗣𝘂𝘁𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻: 𝗨𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗛𝗶𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗻 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵𝘀 - 𝗥𝗲𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆
We covered…
1. Recognize that self-deprecating thoughts are often deeply ingrained neural pathways formed in childhood as a survival mechanism, but they can be rewired with gentle, consistent effort.
2. Notice how when you “put yourself down” you put your “status” energy down and keeps you stuck in a primitive, black-and-white mindset. Pause and question if these thoughts are absolutely true for you now.
3. Understand that self-deprecating thoughts often stem from trying to fit into a family or environment where you felt unseen or misunderstood, like a kitten raised by ducks. But now you can seek out your true “kin” who appreciate your unique qualities.
4. Be aware that constantly spinning in self put downs releases stress hormones that tax your physical and emotional health. Choosing to gradually change this pattern, even slightly, gives your body more capacity to heal and connect with others.
5. Interrupt negative self-talk with a humorous “safe word” like Aardvark, or do a simple task you know you can get right. This breaks the perfect wrongness of “I can’t do anything right” thinking.
6. Recognize that self-judgment often involves projecting your insecurities onto others. Reality-check these fears by vulnerably asking a trusted friend for feedback, like, “I’m worried I’m talking too much. Can you let me know if that’s true?”
7. Have compassion for your primitive brain that formed these patterns to keep you safe, while also knowing you have the capacity to gently update these beliefs as you grow into new experiences of your worth.
8. Affirm that even if certain people can’t appreciate your worth, it doesn’t mean you are fundamentally unworthy. You have inherent worth and values, even if you haven’t found your “kin” who reflect that back yet.
9. Build your capacity to tolerate the discomfort of growing beyond your old identity and beliefs about your limits. You can belong and be wanted as you are.
10. Reach out for support through journaling, sharing with safe people, tapping, or other modalities to release the charge of self-negating beliefs and strengthen new neural pathways.
11. Have hope that transformation is possible, even if self-deprecation has been a long-standing pattern. Your brain wants to heal, and by taking small, courageous steps, you make space for positive shifts to occur. You deserve to live from your true worth.
Remember, shifting out of self-deprecation is a gradual process of developing new skills and perspectives. Be patient and kind with yourself as you would a dear friend. With practice, you can unlock the hidden strengths and energy that emerge when you’re not constantly putting yourself down. You’ve got this!
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1363/5

2024-05-15 11:23:06 UTC

- reply

Fascinating to watch as people treat AI with the same dismissiveness. And bitcoin. I've lived long enough to have memories of the same dismissiveness about "that Internet thing" too. Or Amazon. Or that first cell phone I had hardwire-installed in my car with the pigs-tail antenna. Yeah, Dismissive People dismiss things.
There's SUCH a difference between that kind of dismissal -- without any effort at deeper understanding -- and something like "Not feeling a draw to that for me right now...". Dismissives I can't really keep close to me. Just no fun and feels like it lowers my emotional intelligence.
Appreciate what you do here with us!!

2024-05-10 12:39:56 UTC

True. But the brain is an ecosystem with different aspects. Our primitive brain is focused on survival and it gets first "input" on anything and everything. It's up to use to cultivate pathways that treat fewer things as "threats" (for us to "react" to) and more as opportunities to explore and thrive ("respond" to). (Wish they taught this in kindergarten... would have helped me a lot!)
https://m.primal.net/IFKt.png

2024-05-08 13:36:51 UTC

Do you ever catch yourself saying things like "I'm not good enough" or "I can't do this"? If so, you're not alone. Join us for Stop Putting Yourself Down: Unlocking Your Hidden Strengths.
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/1363

2024-05-07 11:15:44 UTC

𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗦𝘂𝗿𝘃𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴… 𝗪𝗶𝘀𝗱𝗼𝗺 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗧𝗵𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗶𝗻𝗴
Humans have a vast base of knowledge — often gathered through pain and loss — about how to survive. We also have wisdom about thriving. It's useful to discern one from the other.
When we're in the forest, there are threats. Watch where you step! A forest has obstacles that can hurt our bodies. Beware what you eat! A forest can have berries and mushrooms that are beautiful… and deadly. Be aware all around you! A forest can have predators that can kill us… and even cute little skunks can smell up our day.
Those who have lived in a territory have wisdom about how to survive there. It's unwise to be ignorant of such wisdom, and it's dangerous to ignore it. That's wisdom for surviving.
In every human activity — sport, relationship, profession, hobby — there is wisdom for surviving. It's useful to learn such wisdom, even if we choose to consciously take risks others would not.
In the forest, there are sounds, smells, and sights! Look closely and discover wonders aplenty. Soften your eyes and take in nature in its glory. Feel how each new section of the trail changes how you move and relate to your surroundings.
What textures attract you? How does it feel when the sun breaks through the trees and shines on your heart? Notice how past death and fresh sprouts exist in the same sliver of the whole. Breathe it in. Exhale whatever you no longer need.
That is wisdom for thriving. Same forest.
Wisdom for surviving helps us confidently explore our thriving.
But what if we're short of useful wisdom on surviving in a particular place or situation? In such cases, wise guides are useful. They can help those with less depth of knowledge and experience navigate with safety… and hold space for curious exploration.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/wisdom

2024-05-06 13:40:48 UTC

𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗔𝗿𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗖𝗿𝘂𝗱𝗱𝘆 𝗤𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀?
A cruddy question makes us feel terrible, confused, and disempowered.
Why am I so fat?
Why did they do that?!?
Why can't I ever ____?!?
Why do they think…?!?
But why won't they?!?
Cruddy questions often are why questions.
Cruddy questions are also questions where we feel like we're guessing or imagining the answer, so it doesn't feel "good" to us to land on the answer.
The more desperate the need is to know "But Why?!?!?" the more the question itself is likely linked to unresolved trauma. Take care of the trauma and the desperate WHY lets go, and you can ask and answer useful questions instead.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/useful-questions

2024-05-06 13:39:49 UTC

What Does This Remind Me Of?
Trauma triggers are only partially about what is happening NOW. The question, "What does this remind me of?" allows the parts of us that remain unhealed from trauma to speak up.
For example, when someone criticizes you, instead of responding calmly and confidently, do you feel you better not say anything… or else!?
𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗼𝗳?
Perhaps it reminds you of a parent who would hit you if you argued with their criticism, no matter how cruel and unjust it was.
The useful question, "What does this remind me of?" allows you to become aware that your reaction now is linked to those past traumas.
Once we know what a feeling or reaction is linked to, we can use EFT Tapping to help re-cast it. We can even acknowledge (to ourselves and any understanding people in our life) that our reaction is magnified by past trauma and ask for their support and understanding.
It's also a question that has dramatically helped those of us who habitually blamed ourselves for not speaking up or being confident when the truth is we still were working on intense traumas where speaking up or being honest was unsafe.
https://www.thrivingnow.com/concept/useful-questions