Mallard Beakman

Atlanta. COVID sanity. Bitcoin not crypto. Gay not LGBT. Former biochemist turned patent litigator.

Public Key

npub1vsl40cuqlthgjacl5vplm4vj2mt9390wvrp7cjuwmhzeg20nfu3q4qund7

NIP-05 Address

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsxg06huwq04m5fwu06xqla6kf9d4jcjhhxpslvfw8dm3v598e57gspz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds9jw8u2

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1vsl40cuqlthgjacl5vplm4vj2mt9390wvrp7cjuwmhzeg20nfu3q4qund7

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Last Notes

2026-03-17 14:13:29 UTC

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That's hot

2026-03-17 12:24:01 UTC

A year later, someone uploaded footage of a direct hit from the Tylertown, MS tornado on 3/15/25. The EF4 had max estimated winds of 170 mph. Unclear who the cameraman is or how he survived.
https://blossom.primal.net/5762d5cc34d77bf20e8689109ea2a217b2d22fe7adceda8f1898c23c64c6ca38.mp4

2026-03-14 15:52:06 UTC

May 24, 2011: Storm chasers misjudge a twister's speed and nearly lose their lives to the "octopus tornado," a powerful EF3 with striking horizontal vortices extending from its funnel. Elsewhere, a pickup truck is torn to shreds and the engine ripped from the chassis.
https://blossom.primal.net/dbc51da390752358492452cb2886cbef6603e24475c69369ec0c81be8f20698a.mp4

2026-03-12 18:55:42 UTC

Lmao. The writers and actors screwed themselves with the strike. Producers went overseas and liked it better there.
https://blossom.primal.net/504c3b11408f17dfd7bf62a0b35fddedbefb89cc0fb4a7d9f346574e11856ea7.png

2026-03-11 21:05:18 UTC

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Lmao I wish 😂 It's some boomers' I know

2026-03-11 14:35:14 UTC

It's starting to feel like spring at Mallard Gardens
https://blossom.primal.net/816991f3a753ac39c5728cdf7f1152bda67347a40c4202bf8b3b36f78a17da47.mp4

2026-03-10 16:40:47 UTC

A recruiter's AI assistant called me, I got into an argument with it, and now I don't think I'm getting the job

2026-03-07 20:33:23 UTC

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Ugh I could use a good flip

2026-03-07 17:53:41 UTC

I know I should've done my research before buying it, but it turns out I'm REALLY unlikely to get anything solo mining with a BitAxe lottery miner. At least for the first few thousand years. https://blossom.primal.net/1d357281b6677c0bb0ea6b4f14010610064de48f4ebb239226f4061fd81d8856.png

2026-03-07 17:20:41 UTC

SOUND UP. Absolutely wild footage from the Union City, MI tornado yesterday. This was likely Michigan's strongest tornado in decades.
https://blossom.primal.net/cf394916046525c6d8b2c8598e548bc64d2e2a3c2564501c7ad52f2ff462e8ed.mp4

2026-03-07 17:18:23 UTC

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Just 20 minutes

2026-03-07 02:33:28 UTC

I love watching storms roll in.
https://blossom.primal.net/b9610265909ec018bdf01767b9f53137304e836ebc9940e05f9b687afe90477e.mp4

2026-03-06 21:59:47 UTC

Tornado in Three Rivers, Michigan earlier today. And this weather system is just getting started.
https://blossom.primal.net/7442c2ad64afc43cf9b9afa36ae071349b71c9adcf9d90143d8fdf2e4d987351.mp4

2026-03-01 18:11:49 UTC

Orange cat does not like being held down
https://blossom.primal.net/05ec06e7622edffb19b6588b6196bfd7d68802d30db555c34f9341b03c998818.mp4

2026-02-26 23:59:36 UTC

I miss the sun
https://blossom.primal.net/67d8e762673f7e78ad916f536d722cf318ca5ae99295006ca3109d3f95efe8db.mp4

2026-02-26 19:41:54 UTC

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You guys can stop mining now I'm trying to do something
#nevent1q…pjgv

2026-02-26 19:00:22 UTC

Subscribed to Primal because why not

2026-02-26 18:57:10 UTC

I've had the Bitaxe for a day. So far it found a hash with 117M difficulty. It looks like the difficulty requirement for the current difficulty epoch is 144T. Thus, I only need to find a hash that's about one million times more difficult than the most difficult one found so far.
https://blossom.primal.net/fcaf629510e71590d07bb084bb972ca5ed6fc53c784b942d9a181d5a7468a9a2.png

2026-02-25 17:44:52 UTC

If there are any bitcoin Daddies out there hmu

2026-02-24 21:57:44 UTC

My dumb animal brain finds the washing machine to be visually stimulating
https://blossom.primal.net/bb121cbbb7ef6d65917197bd4d0f4718bccb3d1974567a64a2507eed92a7ec0d.mp4

2026-02-23 18:51:10 UTC

My autistic ass will always choose a cat over humans at a party
https://blossom.primal.net/35d4edda810af8c59c3a080c6508734ab16b5538e0db1d731597043ab186671f.mp4

2026-02-22 17:26:02 UTC

The Atlanta Fed building is starkly ornate for the area. Just beyond the Cherokee White Marble facade sits a 3,300-pound, 16-foot-wide cast bronze eagle.
Renovations of the building are ongoing.
https://blossom.primal.net/08c84066a066eee9bb12275f83555bf547057d46d74624c7182c0a5e97d2e04c.jpg

2026-02-20 02:02:47 UTC

I'm not sure what a "rack and pinion" is, but it sounds extravagant for this economy.
https://blossom.primal.net/8f363a3e039193761a1087ec6699863bc65d937609d2858b2ae29e07a5917a3f.jpg

2026-02-20 01:01:23 UTC

My straight friend jumped in the pool even though it's 48 degrees
https://blossom.primal.net/0b74fcc923bbcaaec4b58a49036311206da369686a403235e4cc09f0a020c762.mp4

2026-02-16 02:48:49 UTC

This news segment on this kleptomaniac cat in Houston is amazing
https://blossom.primal.net/a1f2b6ebc8ad2d05220e2e6872ad20e1832ef09eb5feb1f72bbc9107d86c4e35.mp4

2026-02-13 19:08:09 UTC

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It's fineeeee. Most of life is like that

2026-02-13 17:57:45 UTC

Ugh all the hot bitcoiners are straight

2026-02-13 15:42:42 UTC

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I can't cut my hair myself I'll fuck it up

2026-02-13 15:41:51 UTC

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This went viral on Twitter btw you guys are just slow
#nevent1q…mazu

2026-02-13 15:41:09 UTC

I sold bitcoin for the first time because I am distressed lol oops

2026-02-13 15:09:56 UTC

If I ever hear the term "frame mogging" IRL I'm just going to leave the room

2026-02-13 00:17:55 UTC

It's odd to think that we're all hurtling across the cosmos as we go about our daily lives.
https://blossom.primal.net/df7b7ca6e757fed82bd5d1e6c43063142baeb5af77a44d1130d6bb7ed3ef261d.mp4

2026-02-12 20:41:46 UTC

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Shit. I should probably be using AI

2026-02-12 19:56:19 UTC

Hair getting floofy
https://blossom.primal.net/6f5d6895398b9dd0c3dee630ab33bc4495443ef528f1417a77e0f4b2e69bbd9f.jpg

2026-02-12 18:42:15 UTC

Literally me with the other gays
https://blossom.primal.net/505734b923eb02a6bd4ffcb861cc907fb6be12eae8cd274d6ca5547eb05164c4.mp4

2026-02-12 17:23:55 UTC

Just signed up for OF. Would rather sell my dignity than my bitcoin.

2026-02-11 21:42:16 UTC

Is it weird that I think about bitcoin a lot

2026-02-11 18:44:34 UTC

Some guy asked me what the equation on my T-shirt meant. I told him it was the formula for bitcoin's monetary supply. Then he slapped me and put his foot in my face

2026-02-11 08:56:43 UTC

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Right on! Absolutely filthy degen lol I love it

2026-02-11 07:44:46 UTC

@nprofile…fg9w can we get an update on how Lionel Shriver likes playing with her bitcoins

2026-02-11 02:34:51 UTC

What a beautiful creature. And we know so little about them. https://blossom.primal.net/dffbab169d5236fe67836cc0c77bd9a304a50636b308b5a6fc99e33f0362740d.png

2026-01-06 16:58:44 UTC

Got rejected after a Zoom interview. It's not fair because they didn't even get to see how tall I am 😭

2025-12-08 15:54:37 UTC

Getting laid off would've been a lot worse if I weren't saving in bitcoin.

2025-12-08 01:38:57 UTC

So fucking horny

2025-12-07 23:52:23 UTC

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Omg

2025-12-01 18:45:08 UTC

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As written, this Act is an attack on FOSS.
https://www.congress.gov/bill/119th-congress/senate-bill/1586/text

2025-12-01 18:42:50 UTC

The App Store Accountability Act is getting more attention.
The proposed legislation requires "covered app store providers" to verify the ages of any "individual [who] creates an account."
"Covered app store," however, is defined broadly and seemingly encompasses free and open-source repositories such as F-Droid or Obtanium. https://blossom.primal.net/2a3e8cf635253e42b59e7e5ca8874e74357c4eafb0d82fccdcb6b1ab539e3b56.png

2025-12-01 01:14:43 UTC

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Cyber Monday sale

2025-12-01 01:11:28 UTC

Please kidnap me because I'm sexy not because I have bitcoin

2025-11-23 00:38:14 UTC

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Is it their fault it's dipping?

2025-11-23 00:37:40 UTC

It gets dark far too early now
https://blossom.primal.net/70d02257fad66116ebdbc3f2f23b45badfdd479bb2eeb15c87b51d33b384ee98.mp4

2025-11-07 01:48:42 UTC

I love the Piedmont. I'm a proud Piedmont person.
https://blossom.primal.net/c783cf67b13f4d0fcc76534dcc4ac6c9e19d8cbd4e26b910501455ec0ce024ab.mp4

2025-10-25 18:26:31 UTC

I'm never taking any autism test. I do not want to know.

2025-10-23 17:01:33 UTC

Woofie loves you
https://blossom.primal.net/eea5a96c86aa5bb205c987aec55b57b07260129c3f0c95d97ad7b970ec12da1f.mp4

2025-10-15 11:57:07 UTC

Good morning Nostr
https://blossom.primal.net/fe7b5e651b7f3151904021a7331a2d36f8e6827b994561b131334bf6aa8ca2e5.jpg

2025-10-10 13:51:02 UTC

Woofie loves you
https://blossom.primal.net/fb25ae7e0b10b0356d79702779366e83f64b2b700bd0802af343472447db8e6d.jpg

2025-10-09 16:08:22 UTC

Really want to read @nprofile…u7e3 's sci fi book

2025-10-09 16:07:41 UTC

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Well that sounds scary

2025-10-08 14:59:42 UTC

I just learned that in Georgia it's a felony to intentionally cause $500 worth of damage to someone's property.
This seems like a rather low bar to take away someone's gun rights.
https://blossom.primal.net/5fd2f7ae2d2d1d2a2d43067c769cdda6241f814a562d5adc47637b779f12478c.jpg

2025-10-08 13:08:56 UTC

Scammers cloned by best friend's voice and attempted to scam his parents. Fortunately the parents had the sense to call him directly, but they were distraught having heard their son crying and begging for money.
This technology was science fiction just a few years ago.
https://blossom.primal.net/da3d0ee028663631c42276e1a3a2568d1324dcd4d496e209f59064dd3062de8f.mp4

2025-10-07 18:28:41 UTC

I zapped myself just to feel something

2025-10-07 15:15:33 UTC

Public schools should teach students about the law.
How is everyone expected to follow the law if no one is ever taught what it is?
I didn't know the difference between assault and battery until law school. IMO that could've been moved up to fifth grade.

2025-10-02 17:33:21 UTC

Does anyone want $100? I know it's not bitcoin but you can use it to buy bitcoin https://blossom.primal.net/b4af50d25856246ed7913fff318a0a1b584f238a2ea6166bb4390b098a4085cb.jpg

2025-09-30 17:38:06 UTC

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Knackered?
Get out now while there's still time

2025-09-30 17:37:30 UTC

Just got the car washed (it rained)

2025-09-30 17:35:02 UTC

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Congrats! I hope you can buy lots more bitcoin now

2025-09-30 17:31:26 UTC

Woofie loves you
https://blossom.primal.net/b722f36e17135d1217b589fdf9490222252e784da3e24b93a09082eeccf88e70.jpg

2025-09-30 00:41:35 UTC

It's so pretty https://blossom.primal.net/c6331f088a645ef2428d08652457b60c13cfe1fbd2bce0f02b84be9ae5f79f66.mp4

2025-09-29 13:42:59 UTC

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Hey gm

2025-09-29 13:42:51 UTC

Sometimes it's nice to put your feet up #footstr https://blossom.primal.net/3b330d469cacb6017364ff0de6f6277572c9ad7be15550478e93b4b839a65107.jpg

2025-09-28 16:46:01 UTC

Welcome to Nostr I love you

2025-09-27 22:52:44 UTC

Woofie loves gelato
https://blossom.primal.net/94ba723f0970f1cdf785eb2e65b8e41f559dfb21317f54d10e6f4afb96214e68.jpg

2025-09-26 15:24:34 UTC

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There is no technical basis to oppose lifting the OP_RETURN limit in mempool policy. The amount of emotional thinking in this space is wild.

2025-09-26 15:22:13 UTC

Btw I'm creating a cult called Mallardtarianism. Here's the gist:
The duck displays mastery of land, water, and air. The mallard, as the world's ancestral duck, is therefore highly revered.
Mallards can see the stars and the future, and only I can interpret their predictions.
Men dye their hair green.
No birth control.
Homosexuality is acceptable with a penalty tithe.
We don't go into caves or wet markets.
Duck hunting is a capital offense.
https://blossom.primal.net/52a90fc075996fed0a56d1298853a2d528fce4a0a0fd08fdfbf35b2864c3a1b4.png

2025-09-25 20:32:30 UTC

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Ooof

2025-09-25 20:30:49 UTC

My mood rn
https://blossom.primal.net/2eb995790c9e85b3c692a56bc10b64b64f562b6fe769bb9ce3a367c7e57e624d.jpg

2025-09-19 13:36:50 UTC

October 9, 2024: Hurricane Milton's outer bands cause a historic tornado outbreak in Florida https://blossom.primal.net/6b6e688d3f9b33bd25ce2c98ca46bf4f5e6e9b64f65af0fd3d44f198629493ee.mp4

2025-09-18 21:42:44 UTC

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https://reclaimthenet.org/gait-recognition-evidence-european-court-murder-case

2025-09-18 21:42:17 UTC

Babe wake up new dystopia tech just dropped
https://blossom.primal.net/fb5ccd0d8f8017c093d9f5e3fb7523bae5d09ff1d230b64251791ead7e1b9d2a.png

2025-09-18 19:10:05 UTC

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Fuck that shit

2025-09-18 19:09:33 UTC

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Ugly as shit wtf. Also disingenuous as his administration prosecutes software developers.
#nevent1q…373a

2025-09-18 19:08:31 UTC

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Retail seems extremely unexcited.

2025-09-18 19:07:47 UTC

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Mastodon was the same way

2025-09-18 19:05:57 UTC

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Pam Bondi makes me have misogynistic thoughts tbh

2025-09-18 15:03:20 UTC

I have to wait on hold with PACER for two hours just to fix my account so I can look up cases. Our federal judiciary is a mess.

2025-09-15 21:43:44 UTC

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The 2014 Mayflower–Vilonia tornado killed 16 and injured 193. In one case, a woman was killed in an above-ground storm shelter after flying debris cracked the door open.
The EF4 had max estimated winds of 190 mph. https://blossom.primal.net/f051bebc2f302a39461d4c13fd46b789b9d27d70bcf8422fabf7a51b5e70e078.mp4

2025-09-15 21:39:28 UTC

It's very easy to drive into a tornado if it's rain wrapped https://blossom.primal.net/a7a8f9f7ddcf972871db445bcd9a9a0b300409eaaf47341367944e2b4a351264.mp4

2025-09-15 20:20:15 UTC

Only 90s kids will remember
https://blossom.primal.net/2487e2ef82e0c1f8a67c37fbc1894d08db11e164376691a0ea5cbd849e381bc7.mp4

2025-09-14 15:47:53 UTC

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"Directly via Tor" - isn't that an oxymoron

2025-09-14 15:45:18 UTC

This is a Lyn Alden appreciation note

2025-09-14 15:18:06 UTC

Idk it feels weird to horny post on Nostr

2025-09-14 03:42:04 UTC

May 20, 2022: An unusually strong tornado strikes Gaylord, Michigan. The EF3, which had max estimated winds of 150 mph, killed two and injured 44.
https://blossom.primal.net/da2087e1eb42de3edc5ad3e2a33dc49c648c9c039ae545edccda33efce02028f.mp4

2025-09-13 21:46:22 UTC

The social credit system will be built from the ground up. https://blossom.primal.net/2a50945c9d8a9b76596f7e03baaf725e26f25a89c6e1ad11fd3f6ed672c52122.jpg

2025-09-12 03:19:06 UTC

Farmer in Australia captures stunning footage of a rare tornado https://blossom.primal.net/9d9720d8c5ab8e50d65130f075300eaf2bb485b6526020e381c52678947c3bf9.mp4

2025-09-11 15:26:58 UTC

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Omfg

2025-09-11 00:01:03 UTC

Coming back to Nostr because the Twidder people are scaring me rn

2025-09-09 20:56:57 UTC

Some of you didn't like my feet pics the other day so I decided to put a sock on it
https://blossom.primal.net/88e8b941a85ed2d69912b4b0b1fc3efeabadfedde206450f85e697384262a28e.jpg

2025-09-09 18:42:23 UTC

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I think the block size wars were more real than the OP_RETURN war. Changing mempool rules won't change what hits the chain. The whole debate is pointless.

2025-09-09 18:38:32 UTC

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You did your best

2025-09-09 18:36:57 UTC

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How is that a real email