Isaac Lyman

Previously: trying to pull evil out by the roots but darned if it isn't stuck in there pretty tight

Now: seeing how many tater tots I can fit in my mouth

trans rights are human rights, Black lives matter, we owe children everything and they owe us nothing

Tags: #50forFOSS, #programming, #cycling, #utah

Public Key

npub18l6rhr60sx7uhqz6zvdgrxslq2evzyapc22vetpvvdaln30nnzwq86u427

NIP-05 Address

isaaclyman@toot-cafe.mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsrlapm3a8cr0wtspdpxx5png0s9vkpzwsu99xv4skxx7lechee38qpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds7zt252

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub18l6rhr60sx7uhqz6zvdgrxslq2evzyapc22vetpvvdaln30nnzwq86u427

Show more details

Last Notes

2026-08-20 20:54:03 UTC

If you haven't done anything silly or cozy lately, consider this a warning
You must do something silly or cozy as soon as possible
It is both urgent and important
You deserve it

2026-08-05 18:51:42 UTC

THESIS: The core of good software engineering is learning to operate in a way that limits the impact of mistakes, since mistakes are inevitable.
ANTITHESIS: Guardrails are expensive. You can't prevent all possible mistakes, and trying to do so will frustrate everyone.
SYNTHESIS: Most people are imperfect, not hostile. You can build in a margin of error while also treating your peers as intelligent beings making non-random decisions.
#programming

2026-07-07 00:23:40 UTC

WE’VE UPDATED OUR TERMS OF GOOSE
CLICK “EGGCEPT” TO CONTINUE

2026-04-19 07:36:24 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…zlye ooh, I’ll check that one out. Love me some Rammstein but I haven’t listened to them in years

2026-04-19 07:18:30 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…zlye hmm…the lack of “ch ch DJAH DJAH” is tricky, but I think this one’s gotta be “Awaken” by Dethklok.

2026-04-19 05:49:35 UTC

oh hey it's a character sheet for your favorite song
fill it out, drop a reply and I'll try to guess what it is
(PDF and other formats: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/0z53l8numn5khsrayuwvp/AOLYvx32ruuyOZ4vBXHW5WE?rlkey=uj4avk414ib861dfjlutmkxs6&st=1lngf3c1&dl=0)
#music
https://assets.toot.cafe/media_attachments/files/116/429/753/897/819/708/original/74b13d3eb28108b7.png

2026-03-08 14:33:25 UTC

*pulls out a sextant*
https://assets.toot.cafe/media_attachments/files/116/194/023/597/595/624/original/f541d2718746a47e.jpeg

2026-03-08 00:03:56 UTC

Still thinking about the shower thought someone posted that was all “if you like milk chocolate but not dark chocolate, then you don’t actually like chocolate, you just like sugar” and someone replied “if you like roast chicken but not raw chicken then you don’t actually like chicken, you just like the heat from your oven.” Brutal. I would’ve deleted my account

2026-03-07 19:25:09 UTC

I'm a day late with my #50forFOSS pledge due to a business trip, but today I'm donating to Hugo, the static site generator that has powered my blog for several years.
https://gohugo.io/
(If you're new here: 50 for FOSS is a monthly community pledge where we send cash to open-source software maintainers. No middleman, no strings attached. 🔗 https://50forFOSS.org)
Big thanks to Hugo for being fast and dependable, every time.
#OpenSource #FreeSoftware
https://assets.toot.cafe/media_attachments/files/116/189/517/363/017/535/original/3cb94f721a78a31b.png

2026-03-04 10:17:54 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…vlm2 There have been a few movies lately that surprised me by going straight for the throat of fascism. One answer to “where is the resistance?” is “at the theater.” Movies are resistance art

2026-02-27 20:38:22 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…gent DDoS - Divine Denial of Service

2026-02-27 02:48:40 UTC

Just heard a teen refer to the pre-Global Warming era as “before snow got nerfed”

2026-02-25 23:03:58 UTC

My current theory of corporate management is that things only and always get done when they're assigned four resources:
- Time
- Money
- Seniority
- Priority
If all of these are assigned, the thing will (to a first approximation) get done. If one or more of them are missing, the thing isn't worth speaking of; it'll never happen.

2026-02-25 19:10:25 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…m5r9
Sorry, I don't have enough context. Can you provide more detail?

2026-02-25 18:27:12 UTC

Announcing RubberDuckAI, my new chatbot that responds to every prompt with, "Sorry, I don't have enough context. Can you provide more detail?"
By the time you've described the problem completely and comprehensively, you won't need a chatbot anymore
You're welcome

2026-02-22 04:15:47 UTC

It's time to admit that the world is, by and large, squandering the vast culinary potential of artificial almond extract.

2026-02-22 00:54:13 UTC

Effective Minimalism is when you own as much stuff as possible so that maybe the world will run out of stuff and future generations will have no choice but to enjoy the benefits of minimalism

2026-02-20 22:08:09 UTC

- reply

I'm going to step away and let this percolate for now, but if anyone's played a game that is (1) arguably fun, (2) arguably a puzzle game, and (3) has infinitely many valid solutions per puzzle, I'm very interested in checking it out.
#puzzle #gaming

2026-02-20 22:07:13 UTC

I'm gonna step away and let this percolate for a while but if anyone's played a game that is (1) arguably fun, (2) arguably a puzzle game, and (3) has infinitely many valid solutions, I'm very interested in checking it out.
/fin
#puzzle #gaming

2026-02-20 22:05:16 UTC

- reply

But consider all those "sketch a bridge with your finger and watch a car go across it" games on the app store. Those are at least a little fun. And assuming unlimited precision, there are infinite bridges you could sketch.
Are they puzzle games though? I would argue not, because verifying solutions is an intuitive or simulative, rather than procedural, process. You have to send the car across to be sure.
So the problem is narrowed but not yet solved.
5/

2026-02-20 21:54:13 UTC

- reply

Perhaps one problem with “infinite sudoku” is that valid solutions are not sparse. It can be solved by a random number generator with accuracy approaching 100%. It’s possibly for infinite valid solutions to be sparse among a greater infinity of invalid solutions though, without making a better game. Consider the formula:
10 + _ – _ = 12
This could be presented as a puzzle game. There are infinitely many valid solutions, and they’re extremely sparse, but it’s still not very fun.
4/

2026-02-20 21:44:33 UTC

- reply

My working definition of “puzzle,” without thinking about it too much, is:
- Something with a recognizable, constrained form
- Where a beginning state is given
- And end states can be trivially categorized as valid or invalid
- And some means of progressing from a beginning state to a valid end state can be expressed algorithmically
(Why yes I have been reading Hofstadter, how did you know)
3/

2026-02-20 21:37:39 UTC

- reply

(This is a creative exercise in subverting my own expectations. I have a strong preference for puzzles with a single valid solution.)
My next question is, can such a puzzle be fun and engaging? Or is the constraint on possible solutions necessary to create interest?
2/

2026-02-20 21:32:43 UTC

Thinking about puzzle games again. My first question was, is it possible for a puzzle to have infinitely many well-formed and valid solutions, and also infinitely many well-formed but invalid solutions? And the answer is trivially yes: say, a sudoku variant where any whole number can be used in any square, but (as usual) no repeating numbers can be used in any row/column/block of 9. This isn’t a very fun puzzle, but it meets the criteria.
1/

2026-02-20 20:47:05 UTC

“If you’re so sure you know which companies are full of it, why don’t you make a fortune on the stock market?”
I’m pretty sure I know what companies are selling nonsense. What I don’t know is how long other people will keep buying nonsense.

2026-02-20 04:23:23 UTC

after getting isekai'd to the 1930s i adapt and find my place in the world, but every so often someone catches me staring at my typewriter, nearly motionless, for hours. at intervals I press the space bar, turn to my mechanical calculator, tap a few numbers and say "oh, that's where I've seen him before. he had a bit role on 30 Rock"

2026-02-18 15:04:04 UTC

- reply

The special edition paperback should be printed on…well, you can fill in the rest of the joke. I think it’s called kami.

2026-02-18 15:00:58 UTC

Who’s in charge of writing the first origamipunk novel? Drop that preorder link for me

2026-02-12 22:01:36 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…yf42 I also got it in 5 guesses and I’ve been playing for years, so good work

2026-02-12 21:49:23 UTC

Notebook? No thanks, I use a technique called “just-in-time forgetting”

2026-02-12 17:46:21 UTC

- reply

For whatever it's worth, all the first-party code in all my public projects is artisanal and hand-written. No AI whatsoever.
(For transparency: I participated in the public beta of GitHub Copilot in 2022. I tried it out on some code for a private contract and then discontinued. So if you find a bug in any of my apps or websites, rest assured I am 100% to blame.)

2026-02-12 15:39:03 UTC

- reply

- Novel Word Count (free) is a plugin for Obsidian knowledge base that shows stats of your choice in the file explorer, such as word count, note count, file size, etc. https://github.com/isaaclyman/novel-word-count-obsidian
- Your First Year in Code (ebook, free) is a book for early-career programmers. It's not "how to code," it's "how to be a coder." The book is several years old by now but it holds up. https://leanpub.com/firstyearincode
And those are all the projects I feel like talking about right now. Enjoy.

2026-02-12 15:34:48 UTC

- reply

- Cypher System SRD Lookup (iOS/Android, free) is an offline lookup tool for the Cypher System tabletop RPG (version 1). I built this because it didn't exist. If you need it, you know. https://isaaclyman.com/cypher-system-srd-lookup/
- TTRPG Guide (Web, free) is a tit-for-tat comparison of the 50 or so most popular tabletop RPGs. https://rpg.freakinheck.party
2/

2026-02-12 15:31:12 UTC

It's been a while since I shilled my stuff so here goes:
- Sootly (iOS/Android, free) is a fiendishly difficult word game for people who prefer logical deductions to lucky guesses: https://sootly.isaaclyman.com
- Bookoscope (iOS/Android, $2.99) is an OPDS server browser. I don't need to sell this to you; if you have an OPDS server for your ebooks you already know how hard it is to find your books: https://isaaclyman.com/bookoscope/
1/

2026-02-10 21:34:23 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…6fjc ditto RTO, ditto nights-and-weekends culture, ditto promoting the loudest people in the room, ditto managing the stock price instead of the company, ditto the corporate strategy of every company you’ve heard of, and so on

2026-02-10 05:15:47 UTC

Pronouncing “supplements” like “soup Le Mans”

2026-02-08 20:14:25 UTC

If the store is out of jalapeños or you don’t feel like deep-frying or you just need a 20-minute appetizer that wins the Super Bowl every time, I got u covered
(Not vegetarian but can be made vegetarian in any number of ways)
https://recipes.isaaclyman.com/recipes/baked-jalapeno-poppers
#food #recipes #superbowl

2026-02-07 18:02:29 UTC

You know a recipe is gonna be good when it calls for a can of Sprite. (I’ve made it before so I already know, but it’s a good heuristic)
https://www.seriouseats.com/korean-style-fire-chicken-buldak-with-cheese
#cooking #food #SuperBowl

2026-02-06 17:52:50 UTC

It's #50forFOSS Friday!
https://50forFOSS.org
Today I donated in support of Pandoc, a document converter that's essential to my fiction writing workflow. I write in Markdown, but usually need to convert to docx before submitting to magazines and such. Pandoc makes that process quick and reproducible.
https://pandoc.org
Thanks to John Macfarlane for his excellent work on the project.
https://assets.toot.cafe/media_attachments/files/116/024/940/106/267/008/original/03df2bbfa4885e98.png

2026-02-06 17:30:07 UTC

One step closer to the sci-fi future where instead of hiring a person to do a job, you pay an enterprise fee to an API that hires the same person to do the same job so you can call it "AI"
https://rentahuman.ai
#AI

2026-02-05 05:15:46 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…mn0y If people find out that a dollar is the same amount of money whether it pays for school lunch or tear gas, it’s over for the American right

2026-02-05 03:12:59 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…l0np sure do. http://isaaclyman.com/blog/

2026-01-31 04:35:41 UTC

Crabs are uppercase shrimp. Lobsters are uppercase crabs. But imagine, if you will, something even uppercaser than a lobster. This is what i try to express through my art

2026-01-29 23:39:15 UTC

To all you programmers with impostor syndrome: it's not just you.
I don't actually know how to operate a computer. I just hold a task in my mind, stare at my keyboard, and black out. When I awake, the task is complete and the echoing whispers of some mad phantasm linger in the corners of the room like so many dust motes in a snowstorm. I don't question it, I just keep my head down and collect paychecks
#programming #coding

2026-01-26 01:38:29 UTC

Can anyone really “own” a document

2026-01-24 14:06:59 UTC

Pspsps come here Peeve. *pets Peeve* wow I hate this

2026-01-15 20:28:49 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…s8es
- Something old
- Something new
- Something borrowed
- Something blue
- Something rotten in the state of Denmark

2025-08-28 03:33:40 UTC

- reply

VERY happy to report that my wife, an accomplished hand-letterer, has made this real so I can hang it in my home office.
#ControlGame #CosmicHorror #VideoGames
https://assets.toot.cafe/media_attachments/files/115/104/259/870/983/035/original/44804d42f37ca7ec.jpeg
https://assets.toot.cafe/media_attachments/files/115/104/259/885/256/028/original/4212221ed13a45d4.jpeg

2025-08-25 18:58:04 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…3yuy Rumors that the company is having financial issues. I use B2 though, don’t really have any complaints about it

2025-08-25 13:27:58 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…ufeq Cavatappi westerns are nice at first but the twists get predictable

2025-08-24 19:27:19 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…h8u0 You can get wonton wrappers (also called dumpling wrappers or egg roll wrappers) in the refrigerated section at most grocery stores, and you bake them in a muffin pan to make them into cups

2025-08-24 19:04:00 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…h8u0 These have never failed me: https://www.lemontreedwelling.com/jalapeno-popper-wonton-cups/

2025-08-24 17:15:13 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…ujjp “Some people are inherently evil and cannot be reformed” is fascist propaganda.

2025-08-24 14:50:44 UTC

This line delivery from the new Superman (spoken by Lois Lane to Superman) resonated with me so much. On a good day this is me, the way I was born: liking and trusting everyone.
It hasn’t always been rewarded. Some people love to punish you for believing them. But everyone’s got a bright side to their personality and I always come back to mine.
https://assets.toot.cafe/media_attachments/files/115/084/257/753/705/596/original/18987c140c9724af.jpeg

2025-08-24 02:41:43 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…00mf I won’t heap my trauma onto yours but I’ve been there a few times. Even the little heartbreaks are heavy. Sorry you’re going through that today.

2025-08-23 17:36:16 UTC

- reply

Almost every singalong showing at the local theater today was sold out. I managed to snag seats for me and the fam, but what I’m saying is, clearly there’s demand for this stuff

2025-08-23 17:23:20 UTC

K-pop Demon Hunters was so good. I wish K-pop was real

2025-08-23 01:19:57 UTC

Heart of a Bartholomew, face of an Eric

2025-08-20 18:00:51 UTC

The biggest bottlenecks in the software lifecycle have nothing to do with code. They’re people problems: communication, persuasion, decision-making.
How do you reliably get the right people in the right place, at the right time, talking about the right things? Is there a transfer protocol or infrastructure-as-code tool that works on human beings?
As it happens, yes.
My latest byline:
🔗 https://stackoverflow.blog/2025/08/20/documents-the-architect-s-programming-language
#programming #SoftwareDevelopment #coding #SoftwareArchitecture

2025-08-19 05:21:47 UTC

Gotta be honest, if the emperor’s going down the street buck naked and everyone’s all “he’s naked, the emperor is naked” I’m that guy who’s gonna be like “yeah but isn’t that a form of clothing? Isn’t that the ultimate statement piece?” I’m just trying to make friends though

2025-08-19 05:19:46 UTC

Gotta be honest, if the emperor is going down the street buck naked and everyone’s all “he’s naked, the emperor is naked” I’m that guy who’s gonna be like “yeah but isn’t that a form of clothing? Isn’t that the ultimate statement piece? You don’t get it”

2025-08-18 16:50:10 UTC

Not betting the farm on it, but I think this kind of stamp could become meaningful to mass-market software users over the next few years.
SVG here: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/1vz11r557ej5hk0yqpgle/ADV-398duIshCWIZu0u994k?rlkey=di0h92xr8j5q1k714057ww3ys&st=g2a3hodb&dl=0
(Image is my own creation, hereby released under public domain/CC0. https://creativecommons.org/public-domain/cc0/)
#AI #AntiAI #Programming
https://assets.toot.cafe/media_attachments/files/115/050/744/286/594/403/original/e5fea72f87aa88c3.png

2025-08-18 16:49:45 UTC

Not betting the farm on it, but I think this kind of stamp could become meaningful to mass-market software users over the next few years.
SVG here: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/1vz11r557ej5hk0yqpgle/ADV-398duIshCWIZu0u994k?rlkey=di0h92xr8j5q1k714057ww3ys&st=g2a3hodb&dl=0
(Image is my own creation, hereby released under public domain/CC0. https://creativecommons.org/public-domain/cc0/)
https://assets.toot.cafe/media_attachments/files/115/050/744/286/594/403/original/e5fea72f87aa88c3.png

2025-08-17 04:02:59 UTC

We’ve built up a whole economy around words: writing them, sending them back and forth, paying for them. And now there’s a second economy, a meta-economy, trying to industrialize words, print them from unsupervised assembly lines. You’re up late on a Friday night trying to put the right words together for your boss, and someone else is up late trying to build a robot that writes those words cheaper than you do, and there are over 9,000 kids in the same zip code who aren’t getting enough to eat.

2025-08-15 14:57:25 UTC

I installed pi-hole on my homelab for the express purpose of blocking reddit.com. Now every time I habitually go to check my feed and the page errors out I get a lil dopamine hit. "Oh yeah," I think. "I hate that place. Pretty frickin' sweet how I'm not gonna waste the next hour there"
#reddit #pihole #SelfHosted

2025-08-15 03:18:11 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…7m6l @nprofile…algm Nope! My second biggest worry was that you’d pitch the exact same idea in those final minutes and I’d look like I had claimed your idea word-for-word as my own. That didn’t happen either, which was a relief, and I consider it a personal favor

2025-08-14 18:57:20 UTC

Any other #Utah folks on mastodon? I want more local stuff in my feed.

2025-08-14 03:30:50 UTC

- reply

Inspired by the latest episode of the @nprofile…algm and @nprofile…7m6l podcast Friendship Material, which I haven’t finished listening to yet so it’s possible the last 14 minutes say something that will make me realize I completely missed the point, after which I’ll have to disavow this toot in an act of terminal irony

2025-08-14 03:27:59 UTC

Wild idea for Mastodon: a feature that occasionally shows you one of your old toots, like from 2+ years back. Your options are “Boost” and “Disavow.”
Boost = regular boost
Disavow = boost, but it gets a big red notice on it that says “This person no longer agrees or identifies with this post.”
If growth and change were first-class features of social media, would it be easier to see each other as people?

2025-08-12 00:32:32 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…qz4x I always tell people to send me the prompt, not the output. As for weird dreams, I must stand on principle. Make some room in the bed and I’ll be there as soon as I can

2025-08-11 01:45:11 UTC

“But what happened to Mambo No. 4”
American education at it again. Mambo No. 5 was the first peacetime mambo, ending decades of escalating tensions between the seven claimants to the Littelbïttev throne. Thousands of lives were lost to the pyres of mambos 1-4, the pace of battle too brutal to allow a memorial for the fallen,

2025-08-10 14:48:07 UTC

- reply

Legs crossed, eyes closed, chanting “boredom is the sound of the mind refueling” and “boredom has never killed anybody” and “boredom is NOT the mind killer, that’s the other one”
#adhd #blog

2025-08-08 22:45:16 UTC

Just dropped a post about suffering work-related burnout in 2017 and the seven-year recovery process that followed.
"I've fully recovered from burnout: Finding boredom and feeling better"
https://isaaclyman.com/blog/posts/burnout/
#blog #burnout #MentalHealth

2025-08-06 01:38:44 UTC

- reply

Up until a few years ago I thought I didn’t like Thai food. Still not a fan of Pad Thai et al. But the first time I tried yellow curry it was like a religious conversion
Now it’s the #1 thing I crave when I’m sick

2025-08-06 01:36:30 UTC

At this point I’m convinced a good Thai yellow curry can raise the dead

2025-08-05 02:27:43 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…wew2 @nprofile…pqrf Yes, but how does it taste?

2025-08-04 15:17:35 UTC

- reply

BBC says "anecdotal who?"
This prediction wasn't particularly early or necessarily insightful. But if you doubt there are still people out there actively predicting the opposite, go spend 30 seconds on LinkedIn.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cyvm1dyp9v2o
#programming #AI #LLM

2025-08-04 15:06:21 UTC

Behind every act of unspeakable evil are 100 people saying, "If I won't do it, they'll just replace me with someone who will"

2025-08-04 02:43:27 UTC

Anecdotal, but I've been hearing/reading rumors that confirm a prediction I made in December 2023. Always makes me happy to have been right.
#programming #LLM #AI
https://assets.toot.cafe/media_attachments/files/114/968/183/414/373/798/original/9c819b2ce7be1c61.png

2025-08-04 02:07:04 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…pqrf Microwave the cookie for 15 seconds and sprinkle a little salt on it. You must do this

2025-08-01 15:50:35 UTC

#50forFOSS Friday is upon us again!
New to this tag? 50 for FOSS is a monthly pledge where we each choose an open-source project we appreciate and donate $50 to it, no strings attached.
It's our small way of giving back and making free software more sustainable.
https://50forFOSS.org
#OpenSource #FreeSoftware #FOSS

2025-07-29 18:44:43 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…algm Thank you so much for the apology. I may be poor in smart thermostats and legally questionable sweepstakes prizes, but I am rich in closure and knowing who my karmic enemies are

2025-07-29 18:27:12 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…algm I haven’t felt this way since my 800-day Publisher’s Clearing House losing streak in 2010

2025-07-29 18:17:12 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…algm Every day I check to see if it’s my turn for a special sale on smart thermostats. Every day they’ve picked someone else. Life is pain

2025-07-28 22:59:59 UTC

Today in “things that are obvious, I just didn’t know them”
If you’re building a web proxy, never forward the Host header. It will screw up SSL verification and the error message won’t tell you why.
#Programming

2025-07-28 15:18:46 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…00mf I still need to read The Stranger. Camus’s Myth of Sisyphus changed my life so I’m already sold, just haven’t gotten around to it yet

2025-07-28 14:43:43 UTC

- reply

Anyway, that’s my best advice to new essayists, from a college professor in 2009 straight to you good folks in 2025. In a nutshell:
- Don’t try to be writerly or ease the reader in
- Give as few shits as possible
- Before you publish, go back and delete your first paragraph (or as much of it as you can)
So much of bad writing comes from people trying to do good writing. Just say your thing. I promise, it’s fine.
6/6
#writing

2025-07-28 14:35:11 UTC

- reply

Said another way: a good writer can surprise you without fooling you.
(There’s a point to be made here about AI-generated text, but I’ll leave that exercise to the reader.)
These days, I often go back after I’ve written a first draft and remove my entire first paragraph. If the essay makes sense without it, why mess around? Even after all these years, I still write weak introductions. But then I incinerate them. They never see the light of day.
5/
#writing

2025-07-28 14:34:58 UTC

- reply

2025-07-28 14:27:41 UTC

- reply

My favorite essays are full of sentences so unfamiliar—yet so simple, so competently written—you know they’re going to take you somewhere you haven’t been before. You can tell the writer isn’t wasting your time because first of all, they can’t be arsed, and second, there’s nothing clever or coy about their approach. They have something to say and they’re saying it.
4/
#writing

2025-07-28 14:14:10 UTC

- reply

How *should* you start an essay? By jumping right in. Cite an intriguing piece of evidence, or make a claim, or respond to an existing part of the conversation. You don’t actually need a gentle introduction. The reader doesn’t care.
This is a skill I’ve been honing ever since. I want my essays to start with something provocative, something that doesn’t go without saying.
3/
#writing

2025-07-28 14:03:17 UTC

- reply

New writers instinctually do this to contextualize and establish the importance of their topic. Why are you writing about themes in a Linkin Park song? Because music is universally enjoyed.
It also feels like a low-stakes, writerly way to start an essay you don’t know how to start: This essay is about music. Turn back if you don’t want to read more.
But it’s a bad way to start. It’s jarring, condescending, and doesn’t actually communicate anything of value.
2/
#writing

2025-07-28 13:57:19 UTC

My freshman English teacher, on practically the first day of college, taught us about the evils of the “dawn of time” opening, and 15 years later I still think about it every time I write an essay.
She explained that freshmen almost always start an essay the same way: with vast, all-encompassing vagueness.
“Since the dawn of time, mankind has enjoyed music. However, Linkin Park’s ‘Numb’ was only discovered quite recently.”
1/
#writing

2025-07-28 13:57:03 UTC

2025-07-27 01:11:31 UTC

- reply

Some exceptions apply, I am not a doctor, you know who you are. It’s a generalization but a useful one. Physical therapy should be the default response for most persistent aches and pains for most people.

2025-07-27 01:09:05 UTC

Y’all are not spending enough time at physical therapy. “My back hurts whenever I—“ shhhh go to physical therapy. “I can’t turn my neck too far or it—“ physical therapy. “I need a massage because—“ no, you need physical therapy. “I need to see a chiropractor” no! for the love of god, schedule some physical therapy.
The PT will figure out what’s wrong, give you some stretches and exercises to do for five minutes a day, and bill your insurance. You’ll feel better in 1-4 weeks. It’s magic

2025-07-25 18:25:33 UTC

What do you mean my clothes are too wrinkled. You want me to use an iron? The topological equivalent of a gun??

2025-07-25 15:49:31 UTC

ME: lay these ponies at the track, it’s my chocolate attack
WIFE: ??
ME: do you not have all the lyrics to Feel Good Inc memorized?
WIFE: no
ME: *taking control of the situation* that’s abnormal. You’re abnormal I’m normal

2025-07-25 02:55:29 UTC

Sure, I’m a little out of shape. But if cognitive fitness were as visible as physical fitness, you’d see that spending all this time on my phone has ruined that too

2025-07-24 04:37:44 UTC

I posted on LinkedIn last week that I’d been promoted and so many of my coworkers commented “well deserved” that I’m starting to wonder if they know something I don’t