David Njoku

I'm a rebel, baby. I'm revolting.

-------------------------------

I'm #British and #Nigerian. I work in IT, but would much rather be hanging out with my kids.

I listen to far too many #podcasts so I know a little about a lot, and a lot about very little.

Public Key

npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z

NIP-05 Address

davidnjoku@mastodon-world.mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs2p9k8ga2wkd24vnm9t5kk23wj57c8v2z3hwv3j2zhtf68e4ka69spz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsxt7nyt

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relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub15ztvw365av642e8k2hfdv4za9faswc59rwuery59wkn50ntdm5tqtax46z

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Last Notes

2026-05-16 19:04:43 UTC

Question for people who know science.
I know that race is a social construct. The fact that I'm 'Black' has no meaning beyond my melanin levels. It doesn't, for instance, make me a better rapper than you. Culture might, but melanin doesn't.
So why are there medical differences between races? Black women have more fibroids, & have their babies a week earlier than white women. And Black men are more prone to type 2 diabetes.
Why's that? Culture? Racism? Something else?
#blackmastodon #science

2026-05-16 13:58:41 UTC

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@nprofile…afqz Any theories as to why this might be the case? And has it always been this way or is this a recent phenomenon?

2026-05-15 15:03:00 UTC

My daughter has a group of her friends over for a tea party.
Half a dozen 7 year old girls. Yes, it's as sweet and chaotic as it sounds.
One just walked in, took a look at my bare feet and said, "You look like you've got 6 toes."
Now I'm having an existential crisis. What if I'm not real? What if I'm AI-generated?

2026-05-12 12:25:12 UTC

I was just in a product meeting at work, looking over the design of something new. The screen's got a new field for Cumulative Total, but because there's not a lot of space the label's been abbreviated to
Total Cum.
I didn't say anything. Cos I work here and I want these people to respect me.

2026-05-08 22:52:00 UTC

Idi Amin was 6 foot 4, all muscle, and a boxing champion. I can understand his reign of terror over Uganda.
Donald Trump is 6 foot 4, all blubber, and an ouchie foot once kept him out of the army. I cannot understand his reign of terror over the USA.

2026-05-08 05:04:37 UTC

I've never really understood headlines that try to shame companies that make record profits, whether they're oil companies, tobacco or gambling.
Shame the government. Shame the system.
Don't - as they say - hate the player.
It's the rules of the game that you've got to change.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/537/198/432/534/314/original/60806fb7c4af8e81.png

2026-05-07 11:41:06 UTC

Me, squinting at my monitor cos I'm middle-aged and half-blind and can't see a damn thing, but insist on dark mode cos I believe it makes me look like Neo in The Matrix.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/533/096/123/304/819/original/b542cc1f82e9cbb2.png

2026-05-05 20:19:17 UTC

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@nprofile…q90h But don't the Kindles need to be logged into an Amazon account?

2026-05-05 06:12:30 UTC

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@nprofile…q90h What a great idea. I hope no one just nicks them

2026-05-04 21:11:18 UTC

Serious question:
Why do online recipes start with so many paragraphs of random rambling? They know you're only there for the recipe, so why don't they give it to you? Is it to serve you ads? They can do that anyway. Is it a hold over from the old days of blogs?

2026-05-03 20:41:44 UTC

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@nprofile…50h6 Yes, people stare at me all the time. I put it down to my amazing looks.
What do you mean that's not what you meant?
@nprofile…zvpa

2026-05-03 20:18:51 UTC

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@nprofile…zvpa You probably already know what I look like, but here's a quick selfie, in case you don't.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/512/482/645/903/493/original/cd49787fad56daa6.jpg

2026-05-03 11:11:40 UTC

I like going to church.
I like that a couple hundred people agree that at this time every week, we'll meet at this place. I like that, irrespective of what we end up doing, we make a promise that we will try to do good. I like that, irrespective of our differences, we break bread together and acknowledge each other. I like that we put our phones away and read from the same book.
Is there a God, an afterlife, an eternity? In some respects that's not the important thing.

2026-05-02 10:57:59 UTC

Why does it seem like there are only 2 ringtones in the world these days? Whenever a phone rings in the office, half the people reach for their pockets.
Almost makes me hanker for the old days when there would always be at least one teenager in the back of the bus who had just got a new Nokia and would spend half an hour loudly trying out every ring that came with it. Until eventually choosing to spend 99p on a polyphonic version of Never Gonna Give You Up. Or Crazy Frog.

2026-05-01 11:06:07 UTC

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@nprofile…w4lt Yes, but do you still remember how to do it?

2026-05-01 11:00:21 UTC

Do you know how to skip? I don't mean with a rope; I mean the way that happy 5 year olds skip when they're walking.
https://youtube.com/shorts/uPOSHjtu484

2026-04-30 21:41:47 UTC

I'd totally forgotten that Aung San Suu Kyi is still locked up.
She really shit the bed when she supported the genocide of the Rohingyas, didn't she? I bet that if she hadn't done that the world would be fighting for her now.
It's still sad tho.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cz72j8eex4eo

2026-04-30 10:48:45 UTC

This is random. Forgive me.
One thing I like about working with so many Indians is that they have such lovely first names, and such a variety of them too.
If you have 20 Indian colleagues, they'd probably have at least 15 distinct names. Meanwhile, everyone else in the office is called something boring like David.

2026-04-29 22:54:51 UTC

Hi, my name is David. One interesting fact about me is that I'll never watch a video on social media if its got the word destroy in its description, especially in all caps. I don't care whether it's "Teenage trans activist DESTROYS Trump-loving racist" or "Christian DESTROYS atheist's argument with one simple bible verse". I will not watch it.
But let's talk about you. What are you into?
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/490/447/039/067/243/original/4b5d47d8524477a8.mp4

2026-04-28 09:56:18 UTC

One night in late August in 1986, Lake Nyos in Cameroon belched hundreds of thousands of tons of CO₂. At first the gas rose, then it settled like a blanket and smothered thousands of people within a 15 mile radius to death as they slept.
Back then I was a young teenager in neighbouring Nigeria, and it was huge news. I remember being utterly terrified. It was our Pompeii - life blinked out in an instant.
Even today I feel a chill when I think of it.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lake_Nyos_disaster

2026-04-27 18:46:19 UTC

There are some things that I do not believe. I do not care what you say to me; my brain is incapable of believing these things.
For example, I do not believe that anyone actually likes McDonald's food.
I believe that people eat it - in fact, I eat it reasonably regularly - but I do not believe that anyone actually likes it.
I also do not believe that anyone actually likes cake. But that's a topic for a different toot.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/478/146/492/417/299/original/1a5b6d5e717590bf.png

2026-04-26 14:30:34 UTC

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@nprofile…rckr They've already bombed us - after Venezuela but before Iran. Just once tho - I think they got bored.

2026-04-26 14:03:49 UTC

I'm not saying Iran are the good guys in this war (no one is), but with their Lego diss tracks and their strait-blocking antics, they've definitely been kinda epic.
If the US had bombed your country, would they have been this epic in fighting back?
(I can already answer this question for my country, Nigeria. No.)

2026-04-25 12:17:09 UTC

It's sunny and I'm at a playground with my daughter. We've just come from Pokémon club. There are kids wearing Stagecraft t-shirts (that's a drama club) and there are kids wearing Ninja Kids t-shirts (that's a parkour club) and there are kids coming from a football club.
The one thing that distinguishes kids from adults is that kids play. So how the hell has capitalism convinced us to pay for it by calling it 'clubs'?!

2026-04-24 22:52:18 UTC

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Can't lie, I'm not really enjoying this Andy Weir book I'm reading. For years everyone has commented on how great and how accurate all the science is in his books - and that's totally true. I guess I should've paused to wonder why not one person was saying how great his *writing* is. It's not the worst I've ever read, but it's not very good.
#bookstodon

2026-04-23 11:34:21 UTC

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Another day another huge expose from the crack investigators at the BBC.
Are you sitting down? Cos you need to be sitting down for this.
Turns out some cornershops are selling weed.
Any day now the BBC will turn these investigatory skills on the people who are actually messing this country up. Any day now...
#UKpol
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/453/802/519/833/665/original/747e83cfac148098.png

2026-04-21 10:47:59 UTC

COUPLE WHO MET ON BUS TAKE DOUBLE DECKER TO WEDDING
Every day I see little stories like this that fill my heart with joy. I read them and move on. But, oh boy, if I see something about some random redneck in rural Albuquerque being racist to someone, I'll start tweeting up a storm. It's almost as if I was put on earth to make sure you have a bad day.
I'm am idiot. Here's a nice story of love. There are more stories like this than stories like that.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm28mym4dl3o

2026-04-19 23:02:09 UTC

I've never read an Andy Weir book before.
I'm about to correct that.
#bookstodon
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/433/857/500/161/842/original/0a714190088cfc05.jpg

2026-04-19 15:11:57 UTC

In these days when it seems that no one can agree on anything, the one issue that all of UK journalism seems to still agree upon - from right-wing The Telegraph, through centrist BBC, to the left-leaning The Guardian - is how much they do not like Harry and Meghan.
Now they're upset that the couple are trying to make a living.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/431/975/566/961/702/original/621f823aa9853296.png
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/431/977/344/225/025/original/1d52a6af764d67cd.png
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/431/979/005/315/234/original/58ae248c12b54de7.png
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/431/990/900/575/361/original/fcafb461baf5a8aa.png

2026-04-18 11:23:58 UTC

Can someone please remind me where I can find the Block-the-Strait-of-Hormuz rota? I know it's Iran and the US on duty this weekend, but I don't remember if it's my turn on Monday or Tuesday.

2026-04-17 22:22:44 UTC

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@nprofile…5t9f But would they have squandered one of their three on the holiday special?

2026-04-17 21:33:26 UTC

No movie should have more than 2 sequels; no movie series should be more than a trilogy.
I will be accepting no exceptions to this rule. Thank you.

2026-04-17 15:37:41 UTC

We have a sad history of young Black children being treated as grown up and, consequently, handled with excessive force. (Remember Child Q, the 15 year old schoolgirl strip searched by the police?)
It's a shame to see that it's not just 15 year olds; it happens to toddlers too.
#BlackMastodon
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cg400k21yd4t

2026-04-16 12:55:13 UTC

The BBC is really great at these huge investigations that expose lying migrants and people fiddling their benefit allowances.
Maybe, one day, they'll use these skills to expose ... I dunno, maybe thieving rich people too.
#bbc #ukpol
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/414/482/844/259/836/original/53c774b1750a3bcc.png

2026-04-15 19:49:01 UTC

How foolish would Pope Leo feel if it turns out Trump really is Jesus?
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/410/450/083/132/192/original/4e174b65a3a70dd2.jpg

2026-04-15 07:47:13 UTC

Question for other electric vehicle drivers: outside of times when you're planning for a long trip, how low do you typically let your battery go before you charge it back up?
#EV #ElectricVehicles

2026-04-12 12:25:42 UTC

SpaceX, like Blue Origin, has sent manned flights to the edge of space. So how come Mister Space himself, Elon Musk, has never been?
Is it cos he's spent so many years being a jerk to his employees that he can't be sure that someone wouldn't sabotage his rocket?

2026-04-11 20:42:41 UTC

I remember once, when I was much younger, speaking with an older colleague who told me that she doesn't listen to music. I couldn't even begin to understand her.
But then, as I got older, it began to happen to me. I outgrew the music I used to love. When I put my headphones on, I would choose podcasts, not music.
And then a podcast, Song Exploder, introduced me to RAYE and I was back in love with music.
Her new song, Click-Clack Symphony is a masterpiece.
#music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtVcltkn3HI

2026-04-11 15:15:00 UTC

Here's a thought that I find freeing. Hopefully, it'll be the same for you.
No one on Mastodon is following *you*.¹ They follow a group of people which happens to include you.
That means you can toot about anything you like and as much or as little as you like. Boost whatever. Don't overthink it; no one is studying your timeline¹.
Thinking someone is following *you* is like a grain of rice thinking it's the reason I'm eating this huge bowl of jollof.
---
¹ unless your mum is on Mastodon

2026-04-09 12:02:49 UTC

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@nprofile…ekks Yes, I grew up in Jos. I haven't been back in decades; it's not really been safe to.
We used to holiday in Kaduna quite a lot, cos it wasn't too far away, and I had family there.
(And yes, Kaduna State is on the Do Not Travel list too 😞 )

2026-04-09 11:36:01 UTC

The situation in Nigeria makes me sad.
The US has asked all non-essential embassy staff to leave the country, and has updated its travel advisory recommending that citizens must not go to 23 (of 36) states.
This includes the state where I grew up, Plateau State. It's a beautiful state that was, back then, a centre of tourism.
Amusingly, despite a number of recent riots and massacres, it hasn't updated the state motto: Home of Peace and Tourism.
#Nigeria
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/374/527/017/367/479/original/73f13dd597b6b9e0.png

2026-04-08 16:31:57 UTC

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@nprofile…cds5 Is this what it really looks like? This is crap

2026-04-08 12:51:03 UTC

Even though I am generally interested in science and technology, I have found it impossible to get excited about Artemis II.
I'm not quite sure. Maybe it's because America isn't exactly my favourite country these days because ... well, you know why. Or maybe it's because, contrary to what I'd always assumed, these things are a lot more jingoistic than I thought. It's not "Mankind is going to the moon", it's "America is beating China to the moon".
#Artemis #Artemis2

2026-04-08 10:50:22 UTC

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@nprofile…v3r4 The £1.10 one. Because the jar looks like my other spice jars and would look better in my spice rack 🙂

2026-04-08 10:07:59 UTC

Went to Tesco yesterday to buy, among other things, some paprika. There were two choices. I could either pay £1.10 for 100g or £1.35 for 125g.
Neither paprika nor 25p is that important, but I stood there for a shamefully long time trying to work out what was the "better deal".
I think it's a con. They want you to expend so much brain power working out these inconsequential things that you'll turn around and buy an overpriced expensive thing without thinking.

2026-04-07 16:23:11 UTC

World War II movies often make out that there were only a scattered few brave Germans who stood up to Hitler; all other Germans are portrayed as either being complicit or cowed.
Turns out that wasn't true. Similar to America today, there were many Germans who hated their leader and tried to protest.
What I find so depressing is that they failed so completely. I truly hope that today's good Americans are more successful. I'm not optimistic.

2026-04-07 13:28:01 UTC

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@nprofile…2g7e I think the article had tried very hard to paint him as a hero, but I'm seeing hints that he isn't.

2026-04-07 12:52:22 UTC

Am I the only one who smells bs with this story?
A Waitrose employee who has received a previous warning NOT to approach shoplifters tackled a shoplifter and, when the thief fled, threw some chocolate in the thief's direction - but "not at him".
Now the employee has been fired and he's surprised.
This man is not a hero. He's the villain of the piece.
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2026/apr/05/waitrose-employee-sacked-after-stopping-shoplifter-from-taking-easter-eggs

2026-04-07 06:05:25 UTC

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@nprofile…qtyy That's a bike?!

2026-04-06 23:34:57 UTC

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@nprofile…hcjy your neighbours across the street have flags on something. Been trying to work out what, but I can't tell.

2026-04-06 21:50:55 UTC

I remember reading a news story back in 2008 when Barack Obama was about to start his presidency, about how they had to take his Blackberry off him even though he was addicted to it.
I wish they still took phones off American presidents today.

2026-04-06 20:19:48 UTC

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@nprofile…hm2j A rice paddy? What country are you in?

2026-04-06 14:57:41 UTC

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@nprofile…ekks Is that a famous bridge? (I've never been to Pittsburgh.)

2026-04-06 14:45:50 UTC

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@nprofile…masm it's so cool. I take it you've never grown anything in it?

2026-04-06 14:43:23 UTC

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@nprofile…hq00 I've never owned a cat so I've always assumed that they hate everything 🙂

2026-04-06 14:42:16 UTC

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@nprofile…masm What's that thing that looks like a green glass balloon?

2026-04-06 14:38:19 UTC

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@nprofile…hq00 Cats can wear clothes? Thought that was only dogs.

2026-04-06 11:45:29 UTC

I find ordinary life endlessly fascinating. I'd love it if you would take a photo out of the window of whatever room you're in and reply this post with it¹. Doesn't have to be a prizewinning photo, just normal life frozen in time.
Here's mine.
-----
¹ Obviously don't do this if you're currently on a nuclear submarine or in hiding from an abusive ex.
#photo #photography
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/357/570/881/684/458/original/cc6c5fe3938060e5.jpg

2026-04-05 12:10:52 UTC

Why is Australia such a powerhouse in children's entertainment?
Sadly my kids are outgrowing the all-conquering Bluey.
Now there's InBESTigators, a show so brilliant I forgive it for making the Black kid sporty & dumb, the Asian a tech wiz, and the white autistic kid a genius.
And don't get me started on the ethics podcast, Short & Curly. It's so smart and inventive that I'd happily listen to it without the kids.
Bravo, Australia.
#australia

2026-04-04 23:23:18 UTC

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@nprofile…64nu @nprofile…w0mx @nprofile…25u0 Yes, the beeps can be quite annoying. They're at just the right level that makes them impossible to get used to.
Is it just an MG thing or do other new cars have the same issue?

2026-04-04 23:07:32 UTC

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@nprofile…25u0 I enjoyed both posts. Almost feel like I should write one too, except I've got nothing to add, and nowhere to post it.
Like @nprofile…w0mx, tyres aren't an issue down sarf where I live. Tho I'm glad of the warmer spring weather. Went on a 3 and a half hour drive today, and still came home with lots of juice in the tank.

2026-04-04 18:19:33 UTC

My sister still talks to my 7 year old daughter in that baby voice thing. I know I shouldn't let it irritate me, but it does.

2026-04-02 16:40:16 UTC

I'm not saying that the meeting camera in my office isn't calibrated for black skin, but I look like I'm about to snitch on the mafia and it's protecting my identity.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/336/093/370/682/179/original/c48e9db9021a31d6.jpg

2026-03-31 15:44:29 UTC

Just went into Google Authenticator cos I needed to log into something and my 6 digit number was...
000 000
I don't know why that makes me so happy. I mean, what are the chances of that happening?¹
----
¹ Shaddup you face, yes I know it's 1 in 999 999. Don't try and steal my joy.

2026-03-31 08:28:44 UTC

If you think that everyone you work with is an idiot, chances are that *you're* probably an idiot.
Most people, even the ones who don't care, spend more time thinking about their job than you do. If you see someone that doesn't seem to be doing a good job, it's usually not that they're stupid, it's more likely that they're either not empowered to achieve more or just not motivated.

2026-03-28 12:11:10 UTC

The following thought has not been fully thought-through.
*****
I'm Black. I love being Black. I take pride in the achievements of other Black people
But being Black is different from all my other identities: Nigerian, British, woke, F1 fan.
Being Black is not an identity I picked for myself or inherited by birth, it's one that was given to me by people who hate me (and those who look like me). I'm Black today cos 400 years ago someone wanted to enslave my ancestors.
#blackmastodon

2026-03-27 14:37:36 UTC

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@nprofile…3tku You're not fooling me. That's an image from the end of that movie Don't Look Up, with the bronterocs.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/301/637/804/788/828/original/e263b13275ae4774.png

2026-03-25 00:07:25 UTC

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@nprofile…nrlp To be completely fair to France they're the reason why some of the African countries are on the list too.

2026-03-24 17:04:47 UTC

Want to know what it's like to be gaslit? Buy an EV. And then you'll have all these guys coming to you to explain *your* car to you, telling you why you don't understand why you've made the wrong choice of car, how your feeble mind can't grasp the full picture.
You'll be constantly talked down to.
It's like being a woman¹ - without the benefit of soft, smooth skin 🙂
----
¹ Unless you're already a woman, in which case I guess you're used to being gaslit. Unfortunately.
#ev

2026-03-24 10:17:54 UTC

Hey everyone, @nprofile…pfuj is one of the most interesting people to follow on Mastodon. She's generally interesting, but she's especially interesting with her ant facts.
Exhibit A.

2026-03-24 07:08:03 UTC

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@nprofile…cy5p Good night to you. Over here my alarm just went.

2026-03-23 11:14:30 UTC

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@nprofile…cj6n I understand what you mean, but the thing that gnaws at me is that the mere existence of a Black woman should not be political. It should be possible for there to be a Black policewoman (or a Black actor being cast as a cop) without 'identify politics' coming in.

2026-03-23 09:00:47 UTC

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@nprofile…8ee8 @nprofile…kcg7 I agree. I watch very little on TV these days but I've come back to this show.

2026-03-23 08:59:32 UTC

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@nprofile…kcg7 It's not a bad show. It's a little formulaic in the way most cop shows are, but she's a strong character.

2026-03-23 08:51:20 UTC

Sometimes little things niggle way more than they're supposed to.
There's a TV show called Ellis about a cop who drives to small English towns when there's been a murder to solve the crime. Often the local cops aren't welcoming. They think they don't need the help.
Ellis is a Black woman
There was a review in The Independent that condemned the show for "identity politics" even tho the show almost never mentions race or gender.
Read the review a week ago but I'm still cross
#blackmastodon
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/277/617/579/068/096/original/f7579fa55c078c30.jpg

2026-03-22 21:30:44 UTC

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@nprofile…52nc @nprofile…f7np Thanks. I didn't know that either

2026-03-22 18:04:25 UTC

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@nprofile…yec9 Any idea how well used the library is? I think it's a great idea, but wonder if anyone actually uses it. And are the phone boxes weatherproof enough to stop the books from going mouldy?

2026-03-22 17:14:57 UTC

One of the worst things about these modern times is that we've all lost sight of what's important. That's why we look at Uber and think the most important bit is the app and not the taxi drivers; and we look at Amazon, and think the important bit is the website, rather than the factory making the toilet rolls, or the author writing that book.

2026-03-22 16:56:25 UTC

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@nprofile…gf9n And what about Jeff Bezos's favourite movie star, Melania?

2026-03-22 16:24:25 UTC

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@nprofile…tczp True. But you know what I mean.

2026-03-22 14:06:06 UTC

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@nprofile…tczp That's nice. For some reason I thought you'd say somewhere in Europe

2026-03-22 13:55:07 UTC

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@nprofile…tczp Where is this?

2026-03-22 13:54:17 UTC

Having a late August birthday means I was always the youngest in class in our September-to-June school year. And because Nigeria lets kids skip school years if they're clever, I ended up being the youngest child in my secondary school for 3 years in a row. Which led to me being the youngest person in my university for a couple of years too.
I got used to being the youngest person in any room.
Which is why I find it strange now that I'm 'old' and so many people around are sooo young.
Damn.

2026-03-22 13:45:54 UTC

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@nprofile…08j8 I think we've just got the plot for Terminator 7. 😀

2026-03-22 13:44:57 UTC

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@nprofile…3deg Exactly. Was listening to a podcast yesterday that reminded us that not that long ago the washer was a human, not a machine. But still I moan about moving clothes from the washer to the dryer, like it's a real chore.

2026-03-22 10:48:12 UTC

If time travel was truly possible, every time I moan about having to empty my robot vacuum cleaner, someone from the past would materialise just to kick me.

2026-03-21 21:09:49 UTC

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@nprofile…pfuj I've never read Iain M Banks. Where should I start?

2026-03-21 20:52:38 UTC

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@nprofile…0zed Reminds me of so many meetings I've been in where the Commercial guys are fighting for a feature that the Product guys say no one would ever use.
Who cares if they use it if it makes them but it in the first place!

2026-03-21 20:48:50 UTC

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@nprofile…9j57 I bet, back then, people would say to him, "That attitude won't get you anywhere, Donald."
It's a pity they were wrong.

2026-03-21 17:14:22 UTC

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@nprofile…gcx5 Yes, and one with a very short shelf life. I hope Kyle lives a long and happy life, but I don't think there'll come a day when both he and an Iranian island will both be in the news again

2026-03-21 11:22:02 UTC

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@nprofile…4rfv Had to Google this to figure out what it meant. It's really, really funny 🤣🤣🤣

2026-03-21 11:19:36 UTC

I had to google this. That usually kills the funny in a joke. Not this time.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/266/883/284/347/591/original/5157a46989e15cc1.jpg

2026-03-21 10:53:18 UTC

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@nprofile…l6w9 I'm doing my bit by using my air fryer; no deep-fried chips for me!

2026-03-21 10:48:40 UTC

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@nprofile…8snd Ukraine can use another drone pilot in case he needs a plot for his next Madea movie.

2026-03-21 10:45:31 UTC

I know "athletics fan" and "news junkie" might be the world's smallest venn diagram, but when I'm watching the indoor athletics on TV, every time the commentator mentions American decathlete Kyle Garland, I think they're talking about the war in Iran!
#Athletics #iran
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/266/737/918/322/828/original/bde48760a0ef4be6.png
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/266/738/396/244/442/original/76ff24909b17ccc1.png

2026-03-21 10:26:31 UTC

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@nprofile…0zed Right? So why do they even make them with more than one button? No one ever needs the frozen fish preset!

2026-03-21 10:24:35 UTC

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@nprofile…qaxk We're mere software developers. We need things to be logical! 😀

2026-03-21 10:24:00 UTC

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@nprofile…qewy Probably! 😀

2026-03-21 09:38:49 UTC

My company just spent a lot of money refitting the office kitchen. Now it's nice and fancy. And no one knows how to use the microwave.

2026-03-20 18:41:13 UTC

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@nprofile…pl2l was he? I don't really know anything about him. You're going to tell me he was MAGA, aren't you?