healyn

Hi! I'm healyn. You may remember me from such instances as mastodon.social

He/Him

I mostly save my sports opinions for my Jets & Mets Guy (npub10zv…0djn) account

Public Key

npub1zr88qnxn6a2qmq32lamd93sl28gs6dd3ql70pjje6nax6z8rdlgqcrgqun

NIP-05 Address

healyn_at_normal.style@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsppnnsfnfaw4qdsg407akjcc04r5gdxkcs0l8sefvaf7ndpr3kl5qpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds2k7532

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1zr88qnxn6a2qmq32lamd93sl28gs6dd3ql70pjje6nax6z8rdlgqcrgqun

Show more details

Last Notes

2026-08-02 04:12:34 UTC

"sleeping with someone" has never really made sense to me as a euphemism for sex, and it's about damn time somebody said something about it

2026-07-30 03:45:01 UTC

- reply

sorry you went through that, truly

2026-03-14 08:46:33 UTC

It's always so funny how afraid conservative tough guys are of riding the NYC subway, talking about how they want their children to feel safe using public transit
Meanwhile, every adult is terrified that the children they see on the subway are gonna roast them for their apparel

2026-02-15 04:25:57 UTC

- reply

KANYE: kids are losing arms and legs
JAY-Z: I'm not a businessman, I'm a business, man

2026-02-15 04:21:08 UTC

- reply

Kanye always had that Trump thing where he'd learn about something and act like he's the first person to hear about it. "Nobody talks about blood diamonds, it's a very serious issue and nobody has ever heard about it"

2026-02-15 04:12:39 UTC

It's very easy for me to dismiss any Woody Allen movie. I have no desire to watch Annie Hall ever again
I have trouble doing the same with Kanye West. Those albums are so fucking good (and it was pretty clear he was always kind of a scumbag)

2026-02-09 05:35:16 UTC

A lot of weird discourse around Bad Bunny from well-meaning liberals calling him "American"
First, I've never met a Puerto Rican person who claims to be "American"
Second, as someone living in NY--knowing Dominican people, and having Colombian family, it's bad news to cede ground to the worst people in the world by creating a hierarchy of Latin American immigrants

2026-02-01 08:37:26 UTC

- reply

the Catholic Church is killing comedy

2026-02-01 08:36:21 UTC

having a cool pope has really eliminated a bunch of historical pope assassination jokes...i don't even wanna joke about it anymore

2026-01-02 05:10:33 UTC

the backlash to "woke"--whatever the hell that meant to a bunch of dopes--was fucked up, but the pendulum swing back is ridiculously funny. Everyone is loving a show about gay hockey players now. And that's just the start

2026-01-02 01:14:57 UTC

Begging the NYT or WaPo or LA Times to publish one op-ed titled, "Why Are Billionaires So Angry All The Time? They Have A Billion Dollars"

2025-11-08 16:38:40 UTC

Re-watching the show Justified, and it's all-around tremendous acting, but every time Jere Burns shows up, it's electric
https://s3.us-west-1.wasabisys.com/normal-media/media_attachments/files/115/515/044/553/307/603/original/9100683a0028b541.png

2025-11-08 15:04:33 UTC

- reply

Lowest bar for a NYC mayor is A) not taking bribes from
Turkey, and B) actually liking the city, and living within it

2025-11-08 14:57:43 UTC

Enjoying my last few months hanging out in Queens before Mamdani takes control. It's gonna feel so unsafe soon enough, in fucking Astoria

2025-10-25 02:34:42 UTC

the reason a lot of New Yorkers kinda tolerate Curtis Sliwa is he lives in a 500 sq ft apartment with like twenty cats. He's a scumbag, but he's the real deal. He's New York to his core
Andrew Cuomo hates NYC. It's so transparent

2025-10-11 02:23:08 UTC

Not sure what Bill Burr's thinking was on the Riyadh thing, unless he's ready to retire
He started to become "too woke" for certain people, and now nobody who previously respected him will give two shits about his rants

2025-09-27 14:55:12 UTC

I have officially accepted an invite from bin Salman himself, to do an open mic night thing. Never done standup before, so I'm a little nervous

2025-09-21 04:10:31 UTC

One thing Charlie Kirk and Jesus have in common is that right-wingers are very scared of sharing stuff they actually said

2025-09-20 22:14:18 UTC

IMO the best way to make friends in life is to just wait until someone points out a shitty thing that happened, and then slyly respond, "and this surprises you?"

2025-09-15 16:26:17 UTC

The newspaper that brought down the Nixon presidency is out here firing journalists when they post a quote online and accurately attribute it to the person who said it

2025-09-13 03:15:07 UTC

The classic migration from twitter to the fediverse, back to twitter, then back to fediverse, then to bluesky, then to the fediverse
I'm rooting for Eugen, I think this one's gonna stick

2025-08-24 05:10:31 UTC

If the US still has a democracy by 2027-2028, it's gonna be so funny to watch AOC crush the Dem primaries
A lot of people seem to think she should run for Senate first, but whatever. Democratic consultants will fight for someone like Newsom or (hopefully Pritzker). The fact that Kamala lost sends a goofy message that a woman (specifically a woman of color) cannot win
These people are dopes, with no grasp on historical context. They do not remember how Obama won, less than 2 decades ago

2025-06-30 16:13:12 UTC

One thing I've learned on this site is that whenever there's discourse or hashtags you don't understand, you just gotta ride it out
Like the captain of a ship staring at a huge wave, there is no point trying to avoid it
#gravy

2025-06-23 04:25:17 UTC

- reply

Not a huge fan of the Nolan Batman movies (I think they're fine). But the Bane voice is so fucking funny. Who does that?

2025-06-23 04:21:50 UTC

- reply

A real underrated gem of a movie is The Drop. Hardy tries a terrible Brooklyn accent in that, but he's such a great actor that I didn't give a shit
You should watch The Drop, if you haven't

2025-06-23 04:15:33 UTC

Watching one of those Venom movies, and I think Tom Hardy is in the conversation for most interesting actor of the 21st century. That guy *takes risks*

2025-06-23 03:51:03 UTC

Bill Clinton endorsing Andrew Cuomo is too perfect. The strongest solidarity movement in the US is among serial sex pests

2025-06-22 04:22:11 UTC

The US is sending a clear message to any country without a nuke, that they better get their shit together and develop a nuke in order to avoid being bombed

2025-06-08 02:43:12 UTC

I love where I live because it has the most interesting crimes
They sometimes film the network show "FBI" in my neighborhood, but occasionally a guy orders a shit ton of fertilizer and sets his house on fire and then FBI agents show up. And you never know whether someone is wearing a costume or a uniform
Either way, it keeps you on your toes

2025-05-23 01:38:27 UTC

Conflicted on Tom Cruise because I love so many of his movies, and so many of his actor friends are like, "he never forgets to send a coconut cake for Christmas"
But, man, scientology is so fucked up. I watched this show "Counterpart", and loved the performance from Nazanin Boniadi. She was pretty much groomed to be Cruise's wife after his divorce from Nicole Kidman, and eventually left the "church"
https://s3.us-west-1.wasabisys.com/normal-media/media_attachments/files/114/554/560/106/386/149/original/28dbca2341f579c5.png

2025-04-27 17:08:56 UTC

Being a child in the US in the 1980s, you were terrified of two major things: (1) drug dealers forcing you to accept a bunch of free drugs for some reason, and (2) drowning in quicksand

2025-04-12 01:17:57 UTC

As much as I like to talk shit about Dems, particularly Schumer, sooo many cowardly Republicans in congress
They can take so much power back for their branch of government, but they're so afraid of their king. It's pathetic

2025-03-28 06:14:25 UTC

I think a lot of people (understandably) don't think much of Stephen Colbert
But I honestly continue to believe this roast is the greatest of all time? Not all that funny, but brutal. with the President sitting 10 feet away
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X93u3anTco&t=659s

2025-03-23 11:37:33 UTC

- reply

I honestly believe there's a media war going on, and it's good to have people hammering it home that current leadership is fascistic. So I like these city-to-city tours that get attention. At least it's something!

2025-03-23 11:31:55 UTC

- reply

I get this, but also I think on an optics level at least they're doing a road show where 10s of thousands of people are showing up. I don't know whether it's gonna make a difference, but it's an effort

2025-03-23 11:05:33 UTC

- reply

I'll just say I've never been more impressed by a Democrat since I saw Obama speak at the 2004 DNC...

2025-03-23 11:01:58 UTC

I might get some (deserved) shit for this, but I truly believe Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will be the most important American politician within the next ten years, should the US survive
I promise this is not a cult thing. I understand she is going to end up being disappointing

2025-03-20 21:40:08 UTC

Might be a crank stance, but I kinda believe Tesla is doing Enron-level accounting stuff. Why else would you alienate your original customer base on this level?

2025-02-23 05:52:11 UTC

- reply

just shuddered, thought I heard the sound of a monkey's paw balling its fist in the distance

2025-02-23 03:01:37 UTC

I once got 78 boosts making fun of a guy I'd never heard of at the time. A lot of people I like were talking trash about him, and he has a really hilarious name
But the important thing is, I figured out a few hours later that he deserved it
https://s3.us-west-1.wasabisys.com/normal-media/media_attachments/files/114/050/949/824/705/514/original/4a925f81b325f923.png

2025-02-17 02:03:08 UTC

There was a time in my life, living in Buffalo NY, when I would go into a dive bar and stare the bartender in the eye as I dropped my day's paycheck into the jukebox, selecting Chicago song after Chicago song
Playing "If You Leave Me Now" and "Hard To Say I'm Sorry" until a biker threatened to kill me

2025-01-25 00:02:27 UTC

i hate to be a grammar snob, but it should actually be "Fewer Miserables"

2025-01-19 14:40:31 UTC

Instead of spending money to send reporters to diners across rural America, the New York Times should pay me, a guy from Long Island, to tell them that the appeal of Donald Trump is he has made it socially ok to act like an asshole without any sense of shame

2025-01-19 13:48:46 UTC

if you ever come across someone who refers to themselves as a "free thinker" or "heterodox", it's time to buckle in and get ready to interact with the most boring motherfucker you've ever met

2025-01-19 13:43:38 UTC

this fucking city...
https://s3.us-west-1.wasabisys.com/normal-media/media_attachments/files/113/855/309/157/492/637/original/252d61caaf037534.png

2025-01-19 13:09:25 UTC

the fediverse is a land of contrasts. you got your anarchists, your tankies, your bicycle enthusiasts, your greasers, your jock squad, your posadists (people whose favorite yankees catcher was Jorge Posada). and it all just works

2025-01-19 00:11:28 UTC

It's so wild to me that anyone who loses a shit ton of money in this Trump pump and dump memecoin scheme will still love him afterwards. But they will

2024-12-15 14:07:44 UTC

A lot of neighborhood drama about the pornhub German kebab place that opened up a couple months ago near me...
https://s3.us-west-1.wasabisys.com/normal-media/media_attachments/files/113/657/223/592/118/979/original/22996f96997dadd9.png

2024-12-06 05:24:31 UTC

Watched the Tom Cruise Jack Reacher movie for the first time, and it's not especially good. But Werner Herzog is the main villain, which is fantastic. How the hell did that happen?

2024-11-29 18:29:59 UTC

- reply

Catholics believe Jesus *is* God. It's a weird little quirk we have

2024-11-29 18:21:20 UTC

- reply

honestly embarrassing how badly Jesus is losing here

2024-11-29 14:02:55 UTC

I gotta think that poisonous berries in a mysterious forest still have *some* nutritional value, no?

2024-11-29 13:19:08 UTC

I feel like it's pretty gross when liberals talk shit about right-wingers being closeted, as if it's some kind of character flaw to be gay
I also do think it's pretty funny that Trump's go-to song is YMCA, a song about dudes fucking at the YMCA

2024-10-26 00:53:45 UTC

Big fan of the show Silicon Valley. Not a fan of TJ Miller--guy seems like a big time scumbag. But he was dead on a decade ago when he said this about Musk
https://s3.us-west-1.wasabisys.com/normal-media/media_attachments/files/113/370/983/284/935/521/original/4a23f347db579fab.png

2024-10-18 03:25:21 UTC

Baseball as a sport is played out IMO, and anyone who roots for that stuff is pro-imperialism
Haven't worked this argument out yet, but it feels true, and has nothing to do with me feeling sad about the Mets

2024-09-14 14:43:50 UTC

Can't believe 23andMe had a data breach. If you can't trust a DNA-tracking website, how can you even trust your own family?

2024-09-01 19:20:03 UTC

Shot-for-shot Thelma & Louise remake but they're in a cybertruck

2024-09-01 15:19:30 UTC

- reply

I might be suffering from recency bias here, but I watched The Night Of The Hunter (1955) for the first time last week, and it's absolutely batshit
Constantly pivoting between incredibly dark material, then some Looney Tunes shit, then you finally realize it's a fairy tale. Directed by a guy who was so devastated by contemporary reviews that he never directed another movie
And it is FANTASTIC! AI could never do that

2024-09-01 14:57:02 UTC

There's a new New Yorker article arguing that artificial intelligence can't produce true art. I kinda feel like this is something we don't need to overcomplicate
You just have to look at the people boosting AI and ask, are they the most annoying, boring shitheads in the world?

2024-09-01 13:54:45 UTC

JOB INTERVIEWER: so where do you see yourself in 5 years?
ME: the bottom of a river. let's talk compensation

2024-08-17 16:35:36 UTC

I thought the attack on right-wingers as "weird" would get played out in a hurry, but I think it continues to work because conservatives can't help themselves from responding with stuff like, "phrenology is a science, actually"

2024-08-16 23:05:38 UTC

Wow. For years, I've spoken up about the systemic discrimination we Irish-Americans have faced, and I was laughed at, mocked
Well here it is folks, right out in the open smh
https://s3.us-west-1.wasabisys.com/normal-media/media_attachments/files/112/974/190/904/229/883/original/f598a4644dbb8b73.png

2024-08-16 22:22:42 UTC

Playing a dangerous game of cat and mouse with my hot psychiatrist who is suspected of murder, but somehow still practicing
Gonna stick with this though, feel like we're on the cusp of a breakthrough re: my fear of Smurfs

2024-07-19 14:31:12 UTC

There could be a real discussion about the present grift in DEI initiatives
I've been present in corporate meetings where it's like, "feel free to express yourself", but if one employee were to be like, "I've lost family members in Palestine and I hate this company's support of ethnic cleansing", pretty sure that shit would end real quick
But instead, DEI is now just something right-wingers hijacked as code for, "they hired a black guy"