Janel Comeau

Writer, comedian, illustrator, and international woman of mystery. Sworn enemy of the Swedish Yule Goat.

Public Key

npub1y2sfs5236lrnq6tf9cywnqkrydfq7py06v73lddnfpn42jgk9frsdxzcp0

NIP-05 Address

VeryBadLlama_at_mas.to@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsz9gyc29ga03esd95juz8fstpjx5s0qj8ax0glkke5se64fytz53cpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsk8edxw

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1y2sfs5236lrnq6tf9cywnqkrydfq7py06v73lddnfpn42jgk9frsdxzcp0

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Last Notes

2024-08-06 01:43:31

Harris: we need to come together as a country
Trump: the Mexicans want asylum, they're breaking into our mental hospitals
RFK Jr: in October of 1998 I left a jar of human eyes in the fiction section of a Borders bookstore in Philadelphia

2024-08-03 22:08:45

can't believe other women were picked for the Olympic basketball team over me just because they have the unfair biological advantage of not being built like the sturdiest turnip farmer in Middle-Earth

2024-08-03 01:21:53

- reply

the last one is a trick question, it is impossible to bring shame upon the name "Jean-Paul"

2024-08-03 01:21:23

"childless woman" is such a 19th-century-ass insult. what else you got. do I render inferior tallow? do my cabbages grow pale and blemished? does the quality of my sock-darning bring shame upon my father's name?

2024-07-19 17:29:40

girl are you CrowdStrike because on your worst day I fully believe that you are capable of halting the international flow of commerce

2024-07-15 20:54:35

the year is 2034. your doctor is now just an Amazon Alexa speaker that overhears your groans and tells you to lose some weight. the speaker does not take your insurance.

2024-07-15 00:20:13

when my grandkids ask me what it was like to be alive in the 2020s I’m going to get up and leave the house and quietly walk into the mist

2024-07-02 03:45:55

strange women lying in ponds distributing swords actually sounds like a pretty decent alternative right now

2024-06-30 14:58:49

you don't become old on your 30th birthday, you become old the first time you scroll past a high school picture of your friend on social media and then realize, with creeping horror, that you are actually looking at a recent photo of their teenage child

2024-06-30 04:27:14

"we never used to have all these women in their 30s suddenly getting diagnosed with ADHD"
listen, I wouldn't have even noticed I have ADHD if I lived in an era where my doctor could ask if I want to lose 5lbs and then hand me enough amphetamines to see the face of God

2024-06-17 01:46:11

it’s so important to remind young people that their lives won’t end at 30. their lives will end in a war fought over earth’s dwindling supplies of clean drinking water, probably when they’re like 28.

2024-06-08 16:34:57

true crime documentary narrator: how did this missing persons case go unsolved for more than 20 years?
police officer: yeah so the family reported their daughter missing and then we told them that she was probably fine and didn't look for her at all

2024-06-02 23:18:51

my elderly Egyptian Uber driver happily informed me that he “supports the gays now” because he lives with a lesbian couple and “the husband lesbian is a better husband than I was”, happy pride everyone

2024-05-28 01:55:31

[slaps cybertruck] this baby can hold so many documents from my ex-wife’s lawyer in it

2024-05-26 23:28:45

[doing a Google search in 2012] having instant and reliable access to relevant websites is fine, but I’d really prefer to have all my questions answered by a deranged version of Microsoft Clippy that tells me to eat glue

2024-05-14 15:03:35

I’ve been in Paris for 72 hours and I regret to report that walking 16,000 steps per day and complaining about things over 2-hour lunch breaks has immediately fixed my entire life

2024-05-08 22:31:23

I have eaten
the brain
that was in
RFK Jr
and which
he was probably
saving
to run for President
forgive me
it was delicious
and I am just
a worm

2024-02-17 18:27:31

sorry I missed your call, 95% of the calls I get are from robots trying to steal my credit card information so this entire method of communication is now dead to me

2023-08-04 22:42:27

I knew someday I'd get too old to recognize new celebrities but I did not expect to get too old to recognize what celebrities are famous for. every day I go "is that a new singer" and then a person born in 2007 goes "ew no they're a peeble streamer on doop" as I inch closer to the grave

2022-12-22 23:06:47

- reply

fun fact, the Canadian national anthem fits into two different categories depending on which language you're singing it in

2022-12-22 23:05:44

the 4 types of national anthems:
- Gosh, This Sure is an Attractive Piece of Land We've Got Here
- That One War in Particular was a Doozy
- We Only Sing Parts of This Song Now Because the Other Verses are Racist
- We Speak French and We Will Fucking Kill You