StefanThinks

Joke attempter. Mildly annoying. Occasionally humorous. I don't post jokes I didn't come up with unless I give credit. I try to be original or at least original-adjacent. Formerly known on Twitter as StefanThinks (npub1xpr…wfz0)

JustMyToots: StefanThinks (npub1xpr…wfz0)">https://justmytoots.com/StefanThinks (npub1xpr…wfz0)

Public Key

npub1xprwer8mh5qaj5xcaawl4759sn5z5mlhufjssqal5yfghfqf2xdqdawfz0

NIP-05 Address

stefanthinks_at_beige.party@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsrq3hv3nam6qwe2rvw7h06l2zcf6p2dlm7yeggqwl6zy5t5sy4rxsprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0d4hhxarj9ecxjmntqyvhwumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnddakk7um5wgh8q6twdvhs7p36wm

Publishing to

relay.momostr.pink

relay.noswhere.com

Author Public Key

npub1xprwer8mh5qaj5xcaawl4759sn5z5mlhufjssqal5yfghfqf2xdqdawfz0

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Last Notes

2024-09-22 22:29:31

My 18-month-old baby’s favorite game is “Let’s drool in Daddy’s mouth!”

2024-09-20 16:14:03

Photo of me when I peek in on the toxic dump formerly known as twitter and see old mutuals who refuse to leave.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/170/765/758/814/819/original/6fcaa168597acc5d.jpeg

2024-09-17 02:28:50

Yeah, adhd is a gift. I buy stuff and forget about it, then surprise myself and find it, sometimes years later, and I’m like, “Aw, thanks past me. How did you know?”

2024-09-11 01:39:31

MAGA: Immigrants want to eat your dogs!
RFK Jr: *coughs up hairball and collar*

2024-09-06 09:42:28

JD Vance: Maybe grandpa or grandma can help with childcare?
People with kids: Oh wow, why didn't we think of that?? Should we make one of our parents quit their job, or ask the one who has limited motion and can't lift anything heavier than 10 pounds?

2024-09-06 03:40:34

Look, this mysterious entity was giving me millions of dollars to say positive things about Russia and to disparage its adversaries, how was I supposed to know Russia was behind it?

2024-09-06 02:40:37

Politician tells crowd that America needs to accept school shootings as a fact of life while standing inside a bulletproof glass box.

2024-09-06 00:30:36

If you were a victim of a scheme to funnel hundreds of thousands of dollars from Russia to your bank account to unwittingly peddle Russian propaganda, you might be entitled to compensation.

2024-09-03 01:53:43

Creed should do a cover of Eye of the Tiger.

2024-08-31 05:42:24

This holiday weekend let’s not forget those heroes who said “don’t throw that out, I’ll eat it/drink it” and helped us discover things like cheese, bread, alcoholic beverages, penicillin , and lsd. Thank you for your bravery and frugality.

2024-08-21 14:42:19

I try to ignore JK Rowling as much as possible but I recently found out that she had to change her twitter profile picture because the wall behind her was covered in mildew and I really hope everyone milked the opportunity to call her Moldemort.

2024-08-20 12:22:10

Disney lawyers being on the evil side of a court case is a good sign things are finally returning to normal.

2024-08-20 11:55:53

You forgot if you took your medication. Do you assume you did and risk not being functional, or do you assume you didn’t and risk your heart exploding? You've gotta ask yourself a question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?

2024-08-16 14:42:33

If you die in Disney+, you die in real life.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/972/225/067/383/758/original/8e54eca6ade17d47.jpeg

2024-08-13 10:26:45

Pics from when I went to Coachella in 2004
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/954/221/607/389/989/original/06c998040936e896.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/954/223/105/701/431/original/b00e28088e396ac0.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/954/224/217/017/018/original/db3e5c89be476d66.png
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/954/225/010/573/805/original/739e3f7b05b77297.png

2024-08-13 04:33:13

I was yelling at my barking dogs from the sidewalk, until I realized there was a delivery guy at my door, I joked I wasn't talking to him, and he removed an earbud and said “what?” I repeated, and he just put it back and walked off with an “okay boomer” look in his eye.
Anyhow, is there a way to say “I'm not a boomer!” with your eyes?

2024-08-13 01:57:34

The root cause of the problem was a DDOS attack.
Dumb
Douchebag
Owned
Server

2024-08-12 20:54:18

Because of Good Samaritan laws, if you see a parked car with a “baby on board” sticker, you're allowed to break the windows.

2024-08-12 18:30:20

Before sandwiches were invented, people just ate open-faced sandwiches, but didn't understand why they were called that.

2024-08-12 16:51:33

Due to inaction on climate change, Brat Summer conditions will continue into November.

2024-08-12 14:23:05

Either my jokes are too subtle or unfunny. I'm going to assume the former, so from now on, I'm making them heavy-handed.

2024-08-11 19:21:22

And then Jesus said, “I could heal you, but you need to learn about self-reliance and how not to always rely on handouts. Also, it wouldn't be fair to the people who already suffered.”

2024-08-11 18:23:07

Her: Do that thing I like.
Me: [Droopy Dog voice] Going down, sir?

2024-08-11 04:52:10

Hulk Hogan endorsed Trump and Jesse Ventura endorsed Harris, I'm still undecided because I want to know what the Undertaker thinks about their foreign policy and healthcare plans.

2024-08-09 12:22:41

Yikes, I found a tweet about me from June (I deactivated in 2022) that claimed I tricked people into giving me money, worked for Twitter and got PPP loans. This person accused a random person of being me by posting a really old picture of me. It’s very creepy, they know more about me than I prefer.

2024-08-09 05:44:33

Wanna feel old? Your favorite musician when you were in high school is bitching about woke culture.

2024-08-09 04:55:23

Kids grow up so fast! My son got so embarrassed and upset when I did the kissy monster on his tum tum in front of his little friends, it was so cute. He was all like “Dad, I told you to stop, HR said I will be fired if you keep showing up at my office.” Ok, Mr. Big Pants!

2024-08-08 23:01:47

Tim Walz was separating the laundry and found your cigarettes and lighter. He’s not angry, just disappointed.

2024-08-07 12:08:34

The oppo research on Tim Walz revealed that he sneezes so loudly that it startles people in his vicinity.

2024-08-06 20:24:37

Elon Musk suing companies for not advertising on X is a desperate mega incel move.

2024-08-05 14:04:08

Shitposter: There are two wolves inside you…
RFK Jr: I know, I found their carcasses on the side of the road and ate them.

2024-08-04 22:56:02

RFK Jr.: Oh yeah, you think republicans are weird? That’s cute. I have a brain worm, eat dogs, and drive around with bear roadkill in my car.

2024-08-04 05:42:44

Maybe I like to make Schrodinger’s cat jokes to bait people into telling me that my joke is a misinterpretation of the concept, maybe I don’t.

2024-08-01 21:30:35

If you eat pringles without putting them in your mouth two at time so it looks like you have a duck beak, you’re literally throwing money away.

2024-08-01 07:38:06

I can’t believe Trump cut the NABJ interview short before telling them about the sneakers.

2024-08-01 02:04:22

Maybe if we introduce Trump to some triracial kids, his head will explode.

2024-07-30 20:01:34

Project 2025? Nooo, that was shut down. This is “Strategy MMXXV,” it’s totally different.

2024-07-30 19:42:12

Is Weirdos of Truth Social a thing yet?

2023-05-08 20:31:48

Interviewer: Can you explain these gaps in your resume?
Me: Those are typographical indicators called spaces and line breaks that separate words and paragraphs.