olena

Monolith of Doubt
Eclectic
Non-boolean
Too ND to actually get diagnosed
Gender/sexuality - whatever
For social and informational equity

Fluida de la vida

Profile picture: a very judgmental-looking black cat’s face
Banner: cardiogram

Last Notes

2026-04-17 13:35:44 UTC

Had a dream tonight that instead of ‘for god’s sake!’ people say ‘for Copernicus’s scar!’ because (in my dream’s reality) Copernicus is portrayed with a scar on his forehead that he’s known to have as a result of a heated discussion with some monk who hit him with his staff - which was considered an event after which he made all his discoveries (which in that reality were even more, and somehow made the society more scientific-inclined way earlier)
I have zero idea what my subconscious was trying to tell me :)

2026-03-18 10:03:22 UTC

…First, you spend your whole life hiding your emotions, your pain, your frustration because each time you let yourself show it - you hurt their feelings, and you care for them and don’t want them to be hurt.
Then, they throw into your face accusations of being emotionless heartless cold inhumane creature when you don’t let them see your soul burning inside when they spit something hurtful at you. Or tell you that you don’t understand their difficulties because it has been so easy for you.
And you just mute yourself again because you can’t let yourself crumble
And you put on that fucking smile
“Oh yeah, so easy, must be gifted”
And while your soul screams at you that this is unfair, when your mind tells you this is unhealthy, when all your self-education in psychology (which you did since adolescence in order to deal with yourself and the world around) tells you to stop masking - the immense shame and all of the love you still have make you to shut the fuck up and keep that smiling pokerface…
@npub1pce…geep

2025-09-11 15:21:19 UTC

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a pretty obvious one:
when after work you don’t have a desire to get home faster

2025-07-14 08:27:56 UTC

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Not just Germany. Maybe not every country, but not just Germany
“Death is like RENFE, it arrives when it arrives” - Carlos Ruiz Zafón, The shadow of the wind
(quoting from memory, may be not exact)

2025-07-02 21:48:36 UTC

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the sour cherry! The colour reminded me the variety we had when I was a kid. Here where I live now there are no sour cherries, I kinda miss them

2025-06-28 19:41:20 UTC

#caturday
#catsofmastodon
#blackcats
#blackcatsofmastodon
https://media.mementomori.social/media_attachments/files/114/762/658/349/402/111/original/e52fd7ca2b70ce28.jpeg

2025-06-21 22:59:45 UTC

Do cedars qualify for #bloomscrolling ?
https://media.mementomori.social/media_attachments/files/114/723/793/246/749/391/original/c876a70b3b2fee8f.jpeg
https://media.mementomori.social/media_attachments/files/114/723/793/255/744/565/original/10d17b3356cbac4c.jpeg

2025-01-03 20:56:23 UTC

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:neofoxclap:

2024-11-08 21:22:28 UTC

Not amuzed
#catsofmastodon
https://media.mementomori.social/media_attachments/files/113/449/422/798/061/870/original/04b12df150090089.jpeg

2024-11-07 20:45:01 UTC

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for me, the advertising that actually works is basically the one that informs me that something exists and provides more detailed(correct!) info about the item WITHOUT using misleading/empty/pompous language, WITHOUT trying to talk bad things about competitors and WITHOUT excessive repetition. Like, I might be interested in your product after first couple of encounters with its info-advertising and may be even considering to try it, but when it’s shouting at me hundred times from every corner - I would definitely reject any hint of the very idea to try it. If you spend half or more of your ads time telling me how others are bad and you are better - I don’t want to check if you really are, I don’t want to deal with the one telling that others are bad(even if they actually are). If you throw in one lie I spot - no matter how good everything else is, I am not willing to check the rest, I just don’t trust your product.

2024-10-28 22:08:18 UTC

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I might answer a poll if it’s a)online b)anonymous. I may sometimes answer a call from an unknown number if I’m waiting for a delivery, but would and block it as soon as I realize it’s not a delivery man. Also, isn’t a voting supposed to be secret - in a sense that no one is supposed to know whom one voted for - so no one can be persecuted later for voting ‘wrong’, or scared into voting for a certain side? Don’t all these questions about voting, which are done with personal info of an answerer, violate that? How is that thing actually legal?

2024-10-28 09:54:16 UTC

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speaking of those greeting kisses and mixing cultures - in my country it’s expected to kiss a cheek or a forehead of your relatives/ very close friends and their kids in general. I always felt awkward with that, and taught my kid they don’t have neither do nor allow that if they don’t want to. Here in Spain, they do those dos besos: kissing both chicks when greeting, and I got used to it, and do it without thinking twice(initiated by them usually) with some locals or same immigrants as me in Spanish classes. But if one of my Ukrainian colleagues would try to do that - I’d feel uncomfortable

2024-03-29 16:25:10 UTC

I feel like I need to introduce myself properly. Though, my views on privacy/anonymity may change, so there’s a chance I’ll delete it later, but nothing lasts forever anyway, so let’s go while I’m in a talkative mood.
So, I’m a xennial Ukrainian, currently living in Spain alone with my cat due to the war. I work in gamedev (don’t get too excited, nothing supercool, I am mostly casual games GD/PM).
I am interested in science, nature, books and foods. Love sci-fi.
Used to listen mostly to metal, mostly Northern European, but currently, while still find it beautiful, get overwhelmed with emotions too easily, so can’t listen to it for long, so mostly switched to very light music which was totally not my thing even a decade ago, let alone in my youth.
I have some mental health issues. Neurodivergent, though not sure of the flavor, probably AuDHD. Never went to be diagnosed due to availability, financial side and some lack of trust.
I don’t understand gender. Like, I don’t identify as any, I don’t think in terms of gender, I don’t get the need for one. To me, in an ideal society asking/assuming someone’s gender/sex would be totally inappropriate unless you’re going to procreate with that person, as anyone should be free to do whatever they want, to look however they want and to love whoever they want. So, AFAB, while I usually stay neutral online, due to my body composition, most of my looks IRL are usually considered extremely feminine by others.
I am pan/ace, I don’t know how to define correctly. Basically, I don’t feel spontaneous desire towards any people. I do feel horny in general, but I may channel it towards whoever I choose, sex/gender doesn’t matter. Same with romantic love: I’ve never felt it spontaneously appearing, but I can(and did) induce it towards chosen person, and feed it, and grow it up to the point of it taking over me and me concentrating all my being in that feeling. Sometimes I think I can’t love, sometimes I think it’s all I can.
Married, but currently separated due to the war.
Have an adult kid studying in another country.
I like humor that doesn’t hurt anyone. I love puns, and I think inter-lingual ones are especially cool when you have someone to share them with.
I love sharing foods, emotions and impressions. I believe that shared joy is doubled joy and sharing is caring.
I love eating nice things, cooking and baking, but my current apartment doesn’t have an oven, so I haven’t made a bread for two years(and it bothers me!)
I love fruits. I love walking. I love seeing new places, new biomes, new landscapes. I am not good at it, but I still like noticing birds, plants, bugs and everything alive.
I am afraid of weapons and everything military (always was, even before the war) and hate horror movies, but I find cemeteries calming, am not scared of macabric art(like it sometimes) and prefer big sharp knives at kitchen. Basically, I am not afraid of death, I am not ok with suffering. Though, I am generally a coward, I prefer safety and hate adrenaline.
I am quite socially awkward. I don’t know what is proper, what is appropriate, what is adequate. I usually can’t see where to stop. I may really love friendly social interactions, but I get overwhelmed easily. That may be a reason why I haven’t ever had any actual close friends. Or maybe I just can’t into friendships the same way I can’t love, idk.
I tend to overshare and regret
Well, I guess, it’s clear why I needed an instance with big character limit :)
#introduction