Mat Bradshaw

Don't trust everything a little bird (X) tells you

Pronouns: He/Him/That Idiot

LGBTQ+, Black Lives Matter, Disability and Neurodivergent ally

Like: Laughs, Music, Literature, Art, Cinema, Nature and Beauty in all forms

Dislike: Intolerance, Discrimination and general Fuckwittery. Be nice or begone

Please add #AltText i.e.descriptive descriptions, to your pictures for visually impaired and all people. No description, no boost from me

Profile picture: A Polaroid photo of me, a small bird, whispering into the ear of a once devestatingly handsome man who made bad hair choices, about 25 years ago. Being a Blue Tit, I'm probably dead now. I may have been dead at the time.
Header: Black and white photo of a now destroyed piece of emulsion slogan graffiti on a wall in Kings Cross (London, UK). It reads "Rave is Best". I'm sure there's a story behind it but the criminal responsible has never been identified.

Public Key

npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh

NIP-05 Address

twoclownseating_at_beige.party@momostr.pink

Profile Code

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relay.momostr.pink

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npub1sn6ehxu5g7m4ep5067ykyema6cxwc3h09rgw8dyp5tza8vwz2vlsdt2gsh

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Published at

2024-09-24T10:07:28Z

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Event JSON

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Last Notes

2024-09-24 15:44:17

A number of years ago I had a boss, or rather bosses (as I reported to both a wife and husband) who had a house in Spain. They very kindly offered both myself and a colleague use of the place for free. We both had young families and they were always pushing us to go, "there's a pool, it's great for the kids". I always declined. I don't like mixing business and pleasure like that.
My colleague relented. A few days before he, his wife and their 4 year old were due to go my boss gave him a 5 page document with various instructions about the house. It was fairly detailed, both bosses were fairly meticulous and fastidious. My colleague looked up at me with a "what have I let myself get into" face. I felt instantly vindicated in not accepting the offers.
So they went and on the 4th day there they found a black scuff on one of the walls, presumably made by their energetic 4 year old.
They panicked and rushed out to buy paint and decorating materials. They painted the wall and thought great, only wasted 1 day of the holiday. Next morning the sun revealed the shade of white was different to an adjoining wall so had to buy more paint and decorate the 2nd wall. They used up 2 days of the holiday for peace of mind.
Came home and he was telling me about it in the pub a few days later. He said he was slightly concerned they might notice and decided he would confess.
I'm sure you're already ahead of me here. Our boss howled with laughter when he heard they'd redecorated his kitchen for him because of a pre-existing mark on the wall.
Moral of the story is, don't take favours from someone you're mildly scared of.

2024-09-22 17:42:19

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No word of a lie, every day on here I think to myself, ooh I wonder where the blue chair will be today.

2024-09-22 17:42:19

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No word of a lie, every day on here I think to myself, ooh I wonder where the blue chair will be today.

2024-09-22 17:30:10

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We've been reeled in here

2024-09-20 14:50:59

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I'm like the Fediverse version of those Instagram influencers, I make it look like my life is one big glamorous adventure 😃

2024-09-20 14:25:24

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I've got 2 speeds, snails pace and sprinting cheetah.
95% of the time it's 🐌

2024-09-20 12:26:38

Random one.
Any UK fans of The The on here?

2024-09-20 08:48:21

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My friends have been before and swear it's a brilliant weekend, can't wait ❤️

2024-09-19 17:30:40

This time next week, universe willing, I'm going to be here!
A 4 day music festival in this medieval citadel in the South of France. Bonus, there's a book salon on the Sunday, featuring one of my favourite contemporary novelists.
Wine, food, friends and hopefully some late summer sunshine.
I suspect I'll be wanging on about this for months. Apologies in advance.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/165/362/388/474/833/original/f6b116e4111b49fa.jpg

2024-09-15 15:16:39

*Rural live action video game Sunday*
TL:DR/ We rescued a dog and it was a faff, like being in a convoluted video game mission.
This afternoon me, Mrs B, our Son and his Girlfriend went out in the car with our dog, Daphne, to take her for a walk at a local beauty spot. We live in a little village in a rural area.
About 5 minutes into the drive we spot what looks like a baby fox on the verge of a small lane, which as we get closer is a dog, with no collar, looking scared. We pull up and decide to rescue it.
Girlfriend claps her hands and announces "side quest!" excitedly. (Both Son and Girlfriend are gamers).
We take Daphne's lead (leash) off and grab some dog treats. The loose dog is wary and runs off. We managed to locate it in some bushes and coax out with treats. Once the lead appears doggo backs off again so we hide it and try and gain trust. Eventually, whilst distracted the lead is on.
As our car is full, we're wary of trying to put this scared pooch in with us or in the back with Daphne, so decided Mrs B would walk back the 20 minutes to our house where we can regroup and formulate a plan. I drive back with Daphne and kids to wait.
Upon arrival I realised we needed a lead to get Daphne out safely so I go in and look for the spare. I then remembered Mrs B had been using it while up on scaffolding outside our house (we're painting the exterior), for hoisting buckets between levels rather than carry up ladders.
So now I am scrambling 2 storeys up on scaffolding, looking for the lead to get Daphne from the car. Got it. Release the hound!
[The picture attached is of the section of scaffolding where the lead was found]
I then realised Mrs B would have to walk past the farmyard along the lane, the one where the farmers dogs attacked Daphne a while ago (we never walk there now but there's no way round in this case). So then I had to run back to head them off and provide extra protection for our new furry charge should we need it.
Met them just by the farmyard, dogs were barking but not visible, we hurried down the lane into our village. We reached 100 yards from our door when a car pulled up, wound the window and the passenger, who has a dog on her lap asked, "this is going to sound odd, but is that your dog?"
Achievement unlocked! Side quest completed.
We then all bundled back into our car to continue our Sunday dog walk level.
P.S. the dogs name was Ben, which is a nice coincidence as it's the Fediverse favourite Ben's birthday today 🥖🐒
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/142/169/355/682/715/original/d1d543e243dd1c56.jpg

2024-09-15 13:27:11

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Don't want to splash any on me while dancing round it in my crow suit.

2024-09-15 11:14:54

The water in my birdbath has turned blood red. I think the local crows may have been making sacrifices to the avian gods in there 🩸
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/141/250/676/236/125/original/84c40ae1474c503f.jpg

2024-09-10 22:10:34

I'm old(ish) and I clearly don't understand how some social media works.
I've been on Instagram for 9 years, I rarely post and what I do post is random shit generally (definitely not selfies or food or inspirational/aspirational whatnot). I've posted, on average, 7 times a year, have a few followers, most of whom I have the phone number of.
Lately I've been getting likes on my last post. It's the picture below. What's weird is, the post is over 2 years old and it's being liked exclusively by thirst accounts of young women who generally seem to post pictures of themselves, usually in underwear or skimpy outfits (often they have only fans accounts, I'm not judging, just an observation).
Why? It's a great photo (if I do say so myself) but the coincidence seems a bit odd. It's pretty deep down in Instagram, I'm barely active, I only look at friends accounts, skateboarding and music stuff.
Why me, and what is the end goal? It's just odd.
https://www.instagram.com/p/ChYDk0VKF1b/?igsh=MWtnenExZXpua2F3Ng==

2024-09-09 18:44:08

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For my own safety. I old.

2024-09-09 18:06:27

Finally back from Manchester. Next weekend I'm definitely going to sit on my arse and not go galavanting about.
If I start talking about doing anything other than sit about, feel free to stage an intervention 😂

2024-09-06 22:47:28

I really need to stay away from politics on here. I have strong thoughts and feelings but it's one of the things that drove me here. Keep it light Mat FFS.

2024-09-06 08:50:57

Boosting myself like the internet floosy I am.
Not sorry, that tune needs to be heard 🔊

2024-09-05 22:09:30

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Murdoch has been a cancer in the UK since I was a child. His influence has inflicted poverty and division for generations here (not hyperbole, there are so many receipts). He literally chose and manipulated our governments term after term, pre-internet.
With Fox he went bigger,badder and more brazen.
People hate Musk, he's a fucking amateur in comparison. Different leagues (so far).

2024-09-05 09:46:08

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Apologies if it appeared I meant all Americans, or even a majority, I know this is absolutely not the case. I have worked for an American company for 20 years and have had close relationships with scores of Americans. In all this time I've only come across two gun nuts.
In the UK we have our own boundless share of assholes. Brexit and the persistent popularity of hard right political figures are proof of this.
My point, more finely, is the fact that despite the horror of what gun ownership has done and continues to do, American politicians are frozen in fear of acting to change this, so it just continues and worsens. It seems crazy from an outsiders point of view that this "right to bear arms" isn't really seriously questioned. All of the wringing of hands, thoughts and prayers, every time, seem hollow.
The old phrase about the definition of insanity is taking the same action (in this case inaction) over and over again and expecting a different result is written in the blood of children, it's heartbreaking.
It's like watching an old friend drinking themselves to death, in complete denial they have a problem as drinking is part of their culture, their right.
Again, apologies if I came across as condescending or presumptuous, that really was not my intention, I was agreeing with you and trying to add some foreign perspective.

2024-09-04 21:38:51

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Not wanting to sound condescending or smug or anything in that realm but, though I don't speak for everyone outside the USA, it is mind-blowing to us that you have "school shootings" normalised, on an almost weekly basis, if not more often, yet it's kind of accepted now as the price of "freedom". Nothing gets done. It's taboo to tackle the guns.
The rest of the world looks on aghast. The USA is not the example of freedom it once was portrayed as, it's become a dogmatic dystopia, increasingly so with book banning and reproductive rights being restricted.
In the 80s America seemed like the dream, here in the UK, but now, even in our own shithole I don't think we'd swap.

2024-08-31 13:35:04

I'm 51. I went to a four day music festival the weekend before last. Last weekend I went to a late night party. Next weekend I will be in Manchester with the Eldest so will no doubt go to a gig and maybe a party.
I decided this was definitely a weekend to get some rest.
I discovered there's an all day rave happening today 10 miles away, with my favourite Drum and Bass producers playing, Tim Reaper and Sully, in addition to Zomby who I've never seen. I've got nobody to go with so I guess that's that.
Raving on my own it is! You're a long time dead 🔊
Pray for me 😂

2024-08-24 17:38:44

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Exactly. These are neighbours nobody got a choice about.

2024-08-24 17:26:17

I'm in Windsor (UK) for my cousin's birthday party.
Booked myself a nice hotel because I'm a bit extra. It's lovely, but not sure about the neighbours across the street...
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/018/148/304/486/306/original/4896a33e8817c034.jpg

2024-07-31 23:16:24

Speaking to a friend tonight I was reminded of this awkward teenage interaction.
Went to my friends house, I was about 15, his mum and her best friend were there and we made polite conversation. Mums bestie suddenly says, "I remember you, you played Joseph in the Nativity (8 years previously for context) and you headbutted the baby Jesus!".
I'd forgotten it, but it all came flooding back to me, it was true. We lived in a different part of town at the time but I was busted. Shame. I knew she was big into the church community now so felt bad (she wasn't shaming me, just gently ribbing me).
So, yes, at 7 years old I was deemed to be honoured with a leading role in the school nativity play.
I'm a 7 year old boy, I had a younger sister, she had a few baby dolls with moulded plastic arms, legs and heads, with soft stuffed bodies. I would headbutt these dolls to annoy my sister, but also because the flexible body gave them a satisfyingly realistic recoil (psychologists please feel free to step in now).
Anyway, clearly 7 year old me zoned out on stage holding a floppy baby Jesus and my muscle memory kicked in. Take that Jesus!
It's been liberating, in hindsight, I'm going to hell anyway so...