Johnny Profane Âû

One Voice. Raw. Real. Fiercely Neurodivergent.

🎤 Free Podcast https://johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com/podcast

✍️ https://linktr.ee/johnnyprofane1
#ActuallyAutistic ♣️

I’m an #AutisticElder. In my 70s. Born before autism was invented…

Been a meditation teacher, cult member, magazine publisher, ad agency owner, non-profit activist, 3-time grad student, 3-time husband, homeless, mental health counselor, substance abuse counselor, cult counselor, homeless, fast-food clerk, Pretend Rock Star, homeless…

I offer my life...

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Last Notes

2025-08-06 00:06:03 UTC

Why isn't it plainly, simply illegal for a politician to lie?
How can any democracy... ultimately any form of government where the governed are, um, governed...
Function without truthful information?
Is it my #autism talking...
Or what-the-actual-fuck moment?

2025-04-20 19:35:04 UTC

I’m the autistic RFKjr warned you about. A “dire threat” to America.
I have strengths. I am articulate… in my way.
I have challenges. I only function a few days a week. And not at all after a few hours of human contact.
Since I was a child.
I had some accomplishments... despite these l facts. But not one of them justifies my existence.
But I… like many of us… have touched thousands of lives. Cuz we’re everywhere.
Yeah. I had screaming fits as a kid in supermarkets. But I also know that knowing me? Has changed some folks lives.
Like every other neurodivergent. No matter how different their stories than mine. Whether they produced more. Or less.
I was never able to become a productive citizen. For long.
But I can think. I can write. I’m still here at 72.
I’m RFKjr’s worst #ActuallyAutistic nightmare.
@npub10v4…s27h @npub1fyj…un55 @npub148j…ucy6

2025-02-20 00:44:26 UTC

- reply

what does your post mean?

2025-02-20 00:44:03 UTC

- reply

What does your post mean?

2025-02-19 17:49:36 UTC

- reply

Well, actually he is... IMHO. There are dangerous autists.

2025-02-19 17:35:43 UTC

Trump administration identifying #Autism, #ADHD as "direct threats to the American people."
Underlying many of Trump's policies?
Eugenics. Against all disability.
Libertarian survival of the fittest.
Link to Whitehouse gov post:
https://www.whitehouse.gov/presidential-actions/2025/02/establishing-the-presidents-make-america-healthy-again-commission/
Even if they don't round us up, over 80% of us #autistics are unemployed or under employed.
Killing our benefits like Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security, Foodstamps, Housing, etc?
Just a soft means of killing us.
#SoftGenocide is more deadly. It goes unnoticed.
#ActuallyAutistic
@npub10v4…s27h @npub148j…ucy6
https://media.neurodifferent.me/media_attachments/files/114/031/756/211/028/995/original/53eacb8617c9edc1.jpg

2024-08-10 22:42:51 UTC

- reply

See, I don’t think in words. Or data for that matter.
I think in images, sensations, feelings. Which takes serious work to translate… internally… into, yeah know…, words. In the vague hope of communicating with you.
Takes me a long time to create new thoughts, novel language. Even longer to decide what my motive could be… Life’s short. Getting shorter these days.
Majority of humans seem to ENTER a conversation with a motive pretty much fully formed in their minds.
To convince,
persuade,
compete,
ask favors,
feel better about themselves...
Maybe that's why a whopping majority of humans start interpreting what I mean to say before I find Word One to utter.
Seems they spend all their effort trying to guess my non-manifested motive. When they COULD simply listen... then provide the details I'm desperately, DIRECTLY asking for?
So that I might be able... to have a hope… to actually discover a possible motive? You know, based on… facts?
Laughing my fucking ass off… Quite bitterly. Tbh.
Typically my motive emerges a day or two later... based on whatever scraps of info I could torture out of their conversation.
A conversation based on their hallucinated projections of me.
In turn, based on motives they dreamt up outta thin air...
Trying to guess my "hidden thoughts"... as they watch my face contort with various states of internal review…
I'm actually reliving memories, frame by excruciating frame. While at the same time exerting superhero effort… let’s say, like Hulk… to locate the precise words, body language and gestures that will keep me outta trouble.
So, typically most humans I talk to assign the darkest of motives, mental illness, or stupidity… Frequently, ALL of this Unholy Trinity at once.
Sigh.
I’ve learned a couple tricks over the years.
Stripping emotion from others' words, focusing on listening to content before I respond.
Asking clarifying questions.
Stating clearly that I'm still forming thoughts and value their input.
As a last resort, making any excuse for some time to think… like creating a phantom cousin to consult.
Still it's still a daily struggle.
None of these tips works perfectly for me. But over time, things get better. Fewer awkward moments with Walmart checkout clerks. Pretty decent number of clients saved…
Now I’m just one voice. I imagine for other Neurodivergents it could be MUCH different.
So, neurodivergent friends. How do you navigate these murky waters?
You other folks, what's it like for you when someone like me does this?
Let's discuss in the comments. If there's interest, I might expand this into a full article.
Your perspectives matter in this conversation. Maybe we can hash this out.
Together?
_____
If you enjoyed this thread, I offer all my autism information for free… whether readers subscribe or not. Please like and share? It’s the biggest help you can offer.
Otoh, I do like coffee... and Ko-fi accepts tips for me… https://ko-fi.com/autisticaf.
Or you can help support my expenses with a monthly subscription to this subStack https://johnnyprofaneknapp.substack.com/
https://media.neurodifferent.me/media_attachments/files/112/940/134/865/114/709/original/b31558b3c043f21a.jpg

2024-08-10 22:39:43 UTC

- reply

Most humans' Theory of Mind?
It's their way of predicting how other people think.
Which seems to boil down to… “What's the other guy trying to get from me? What can I get outta them?”
I rarely start any conversation… or project… with a motive. I start out trying to learn… or enjoy.
Then, from time to time? Motive emerges.
I have to swim up to a motive through a mental sea of murky details and entangling weedy questions.
/2
https://media.neurodifferent.me/media_attachments/files/112/940/122/873/681/871/original/72b0c4b9dc644394.png

2024-08-10 22:35:02 UTC

See Me. Hear Me. Please. Just Tell Me...
This Autistic's Neverending Rock Opera
I’m not convinced it's POSSIBLE for this 71 year-old autistic. I just can’t communicate with most humans.
Here’s why.
“I see where you’re headed… You see a way to one up Steve. Great idea! Here’s what I'd do…”
“Whoa. Hang on.” I’m literally taken back. I jump back a step. Probably whistled or hummed like I do without thinking.
“I’m not out to do any such thing. I just asked what you thought about Steve’s budget. So what did you think.”
He winks.
“Whatever you say, hoss. I’ll back your play.”
Next day? It’s all over the agency. I’m out there gunning for Steve's job.
Another competitive Cold War launched. Another job that in the end I gotta leave to survive.
Cuz I asked a question.
@npub10v4…s27h
@npub148j…ucy6
/1
https://media.neurodifferent.me/media_attachments/files/112/940/097/610/666/521/original/bb14ca70f64f05fc.png

2024-05-24 14:17:20 UTC

Got a YouTube message this morning. About Pathological Demand Avoidance ( #PDA ). A controversial #Autism sub-diagnosis.
The comment got me thinking. I love that!
So. I responded...🧵
#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodivergent #MentalHealth #Psychology
@npub10v4…s27h
@npub148j…ucy6
@npub1fyj…un55
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/9UzSXldWn-M