Mama's Pinky Toe

A wish is a dream is a smile Jesus Christ who writes this crap. 

Just My Toots: Mama's Pinky Toe (npub1re9…2mgp)">https://justmytoots.com/Mama's Pinky Toe (npub1re9…2mgp)

Public Key

npub1re96me77752m50j9h726hd8lnfpjpcx93huz8mtk5v3rfxkgh4jq6u2mgp

NIP-05 Address

mamaspinkytoe_at_mastodon.world@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqspujadul0029d68ezml9dtknle5sequrzcm7pra4m2xg35ntyt6eqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds0ezww2

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1re96me77752m50j9h726hd8lnfpjpcx93huz8mtk5v3rfxkgh4jq6u2mgp

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Last Notes

2026-06-28 22:49:04 UTC

Where will the greatest number of Martian Teslanauts die?

2026-06-10 19:50:48 UTC

If it's a problem, it requires a beer.
If it's a serious problem, it requires two beers.

2026-06-05 01:39:42 UTC

I need a fancy hunting coat. Not for when I'm hunting but for when I want to feel fancy.

2026-05-26 13:43:49 UTC

Fetterman is a DINO.

2026-05-21 03:11:21 UTC

I prefer . . .

2026-05-16 17:14:09 UTC

I would rather . . .

2026-05-11 18:09:01 UTC

Belgium is off-brand France. Belgium is the Knotts Berry Farm of Europe. Belgium is Hydrox.

2026-05-10 21:16:26 UTC

1. Lethal injection
2. The director's cut of "Blade Runner"

2026-05-10 19:05:59 UTC

Is Ted Cruz the Zodiac?

2026-05-08 19:27:40 UTC

I live four blocks from a Quonset hut.

2026-05-06 14:20:16 UTC

I'm not a bad bean. I'm just overextracted.

2026-03-08 19:53:32 UTC

I would rather be . . .

2025-12-22 21:41:27 UTC

You're meeting friends for brunch. Do you still eat breakfast?

2025-11-24 03:39:46 UTC

Gee, Your Hair Smells Like Gwyneth Paltrow's Hair

2025-09-29 04:02:06 UTC

If you are zaftig and your sister is cruel, she may say, "Pregnant lady coming through! Pregnant lady coming through!" because she is so fucking funny.

2025-09-21 18:17:47 UTC

They gave him a fucking Hitler haircut.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/115/243/656/216/921/894/original/d1249ee5afddc6d4.png

2025-09-10 14:28:20 UTC

The trick is to make someone fall in love with you before they figure out who you really are.

2025-09-06 17:38:34 UTC

- reply

There's an emoji for everything.

2025-09-06 16:44:50 UTC

Hurricanes are God's punishment for America's homophobia.

2025-09-05 21:40:42 UTC

I'm smarter than I seem, thank God.

2025-08-27 20:44:55 UTC

My lizard brain wants me to shoot out my tongue and catch a fly. The rest of my brain wants Cherry Pop-Tarts.
#SponsorablePost

2025-08-27 20:27:31 UTC

If somebody stinks--and I mean really, really stinks--they're probably a dead body.

2025-08-19 01:54:09 UTC

Vigorous sex. Angry sex. Fred and Ethel Mertz sex.

2025-08-15 17:20:20 UTC

There was a kid in our junior high school who found a dead body. He was weird but finding a dead body made him cooler for a while. He never found another one, though, and people kind of lost interest in him.

2025-08-07 18:46:12 UTC

I wonder how long you could live trapped in a 7-Eleven. Two years I bet.

2025-05-29 18:33:57 UTC

Elon is a richer man than Stephen, and he's a bigger Nazi.

2025-05-19 00:45:09 UTC

Gary, Indiana, was named after Gary.

2025-05-05 17:07:59 UTC

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I looked them up this morning, and then the ad appeared on YouTube. If I recall, the charity is real but not as broad as their name suggests.

2025-05-05 16:24:30 UTC

I googled Kars for Kids, and five minutes later YouTube served up this preroll. "Don't be evil," my eye.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/456/140/542/125/562/original/b0dba768f0e369ed.png

2025-05-05 07:20:13 UTC

At one time the most famous ZIP code in America was 60609.

2025-05-02 21:10:21 UTC

Flag Day is to be renamed Fuck You Day, except in the South, where it will be known as Fuck All Y'all Day.

2025-05-02 05:14:07 UTC

I can't tell if he's humping the bike or the bike is humping him.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/436/510/770/429/162/original/0b53459b9f070049.png

2025-04-29 03:11:05 UTC

You are bullshit. I am antibullshit. When we meet, I will destroy you.

2025-04-22 14:57:50 UTC

I am in love with . . .

2025-03-30 22:59:57 UTC

No one goes into acting hoping to play a prostitute in a Steven Seagal movie.

2025-03-30 05:06:51 UTC

If James Bond were real, he would have handled someone like Elon Musk by now.

2025-03-30 04:19:09 UTC

I wonder if JD and Usha did the dirty in Greenland.

2025-03-29 21:26:09 UTC

Amber Ruffin, guilty of JWB
https://bit.ly/3QVDhVW

2025-03-29 20:38:09 UTC

JD was a fat kid, so maybe don't bully him too bad.

2025-03-27 23:13:31 UTC

Canada is breaking up with US because of HIM.

2025-03-27 19:37:42 UTC

Would you sell one of your ears for $10?

2025-03-25 18:01:06 UTC

Not all members of Trump's cabinet are as smart as he is.

2025-03-25 16:43:30 UTC

Guys, I've got some bad news about Toonces.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/224/063/147/931/376/original/bc465cedd4217c08.jpeg

2025-03-25 16:23:40 UTC

I would rather get a ride with . . .

2025-03-25 16:19:23 UTC

I am willing to be paid $50,000 to visit Qatar.
#SponsorablePost

2025-03-24 19:13:27 UTC

I left my wallet on the train this morning. A man I have never met will hand it off to me on the last train this evening. I think I may have gotten mixed up in espionage.

2025-03-23 19:30:29 UTC

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You have it. It's two of them, and you put them on backward. That should do the trick.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/213/392/465/918/355/original/cba3285643dff6d2.jpeg

2025-03-23 19:24:37 UTC

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Emojis are glitter for your eyes.

2025-03-23 19:05:43 UTC

It's more than just shapewear. It's a bra for your butt.

2025-03-23 18:40:55 UTC

I am going to fight emojis with hieroglyphs. Who's inscrutable now?
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/213/195/963/748/674/original/154d8af52f8b5550.jpg

2025-03-23 17:43:54 UTC

- reply

Some of these posts are thought but not thought out.

2025-03-23 16:49:12 UTC

The right person will smell pretty.

2025-03-23 15:01:31 UTC

This seems like a scam.
https://gofund.me/9480cf61

2025-03-23 12:54:05 UTC

True Thing
My niece married a MAGA and is now a MAGA herself.

2025-03-23 12:49:38 UTC

Would the Munchkins be MAGA?

2025-03-20 00:30:58 UTC

- reply

I had appended " - an engineer mansplaining to a classicist" but dropped that line.

2025-03-19 23:06:32 UTC

Icarus's true folly was not selecting an adhesive that could stand up to the rays of the sun.
- an engineer mansplains things to a classicist

2025-03-19 19:30:20 UTC

- reply

Forbes reports there are 57 Canadian billionaires! Who knew?

2025-03-19 17:41:31 UTC

I'm going to sit back with some iced tea and wait for this whole "tech" thing to blow over.

2025-03-19 17:39:33 UTC

"We don't need their cars. We don't need their lumber." Then why are you trying to steal their country? Pig.

2025-03-18 18:18:45 UTC

Bondage in the 1970s: The Pleather Years

2025-03-17 03:08:19 UTC

In the commercials the babies love wearing diapers, the toddlers love wearing diapers, and the old people love wearing diapers. Everybody loves wearing diapers! This may be something to look into.

2025-03-16 17:43:43 UTC

Don’t be alarmed, ladies and gentlemen. It is perfectly safe. These chains are made of chrome steel!
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/173/335/620/055/422/original/40548b4850c72408.jpeg
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/173/340/897/145/243/original/3813d03466cc4bea.jpeg

2025-03-14 16:32:39 UTC

Infinite time plus infinite cookies equals infinite happy.

2025-03-07 19:52:26 UTC

Sure, a joke book with a 101 jokes might seem a better deal than a joke book with 100 jokes, but what if the quality suffers?

2025-03-06 03:13:13 UTC

These beautiful people in the beer commercials--do they actually exist?

2025-02-28 17:16:38 UTC

If you had an uncle who was eaten on safari, I would be interested in hearing about that.

2025-02-27 22:18:24 UTC

I am literally writing this right now.

2025-02-27 03:22:56 UTC

I have solved the trolley problem with a Gatling gun. You can solve lots of problems with a Gatling gun.

2025-02-24 04:36:29 UTC

- Is it because I'm a grown man who plays with Beanie Babies? Is that the reason?
- Yes. That is exactly the reason.

2025-02-24 01:36:00 UTC

I'm done with shitposting. I've replaced it with—doobie dah woo woo sham a sham wing wing—scatposting.

2025-02-21 20:24:47 UTC

Thanks, Mitch McConnell!

2025-02-21 20:07:34 UTC

I take thing to EXTREMES! (You can't hear me but I'm shouting now and making faces.)

2025-02-21 20:03:52 UTC

For ten dollars I will sell you my soul.

2025-02-21 19:30:20 UTC

Tired: George Washington Carver
Wired: Ray J
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/043/511/509/158/719/original/dc89d933573498d0.png

2025-02-21 16:45:15 UTC

The young actress who played Sun Baby on the Teletubbies never grew up and never changed. She's Sun Baby to this day. She's Sun Baby this very minute. She's stuck as fucking Sun Baby forever.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/042/870/306/663/785/original/64ec882d2635b21d.png

2025-02-21 03:51:35 UTC

"Orange Is the New Black" had a character named Crazy Eyes.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/039/838/138/496/804/original/dbcdc951f27786dc.jpeg

2025-02-19 21:03:30 UTC

- reply

Leather shoes are saunas for your feet.

2025-02-19 11:00:31 UTC

- reply

It's excellent. It's odd I'm down on the glut of superhero movies since I've quite enjoyed the recent glut of science fiction movies.

2025-02-19 09:53:45 UTC

I feel about superhero movies the way Trump feels about Black people. There are some good ones, too, I suppose.

2025-02-19 08:32:15 UTC

I would love it if a member of the White House press corps asked Trump a simple question: did Russia invade Ukraine?

2025-02-18 23:13:59 UTC

I am . . .

2025-02-18 22:01:32 UTC

I'm the Loch Ness Monster. Ask me anything.

2025-02-18 20:50:55 UTC

"Heart Eyes" is an insufferable romcom. I am rooting for the serial killer.

2025-02-17 21:32:22 UTC

I'd like to introduce squirrels into our relationship.

2025-02-17 20:54:33 UTC

If you buy something from Temu, it means you're going to hell.

2025-02-14 23:07:06 UTC

If I converted to Judaism, it would mostly be for the space laser.

2025-02-14 19:11:30 UTC

One piece at a time and it didn't cost me a dime.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/003/808/613/786/062/original/b4c28d6e9c490b19.jpeg

2025-02-14 09:04:26 UTC

This always cheers me up a little.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/001/424/892/576/506/original/6fec264afeef946f.jpeg

2025-02-14 04:36:39 UTC

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Put.io is a service--a website--that you can copy-and-paste a magnet link to. It downloads a file and saves it to your account. It's ten bucks a month for 100 GB of storage. The amount of storage doesn't really matter because you just download then download the file from your Put.io.
Eztvx.to is the site I go to for TV shows whose magnet links I copy over to my Put.io account.
It's easier but less flexible than torrenting.

2025-02-14 04:28:15 UTC

- reply

eztvx.to ($0) + put.io ($10 a month)

2025-02-14 03:28:13 UTC

Is this poll necessary?

2025-02-13 23:20:44 UTC

If you're an influencer, brands send you moisturizer. That's how it works.

2025-02-05 04:26:15 UTC

The Teletubbies are monster babies, not baby monsters, and that makes them terrifying.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/113/949/373/402/401/471/original/3523a37b5210fcfc.png

2025-02-04 22:38:17 UTC

- reply

Two for $3.29. I ate both.

2025-02-04 22:36:20 UTC

Did I eat this slice of shoe leather pizza? Yes, I did.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/113/948/003/598/192/799/original/b67d0cc81a017cd5.jpg

2025-02-02 21:10:43 UTC

And now Punsytawney Phil is licking himself. I have no idea what this means. Lick, lick, lick, lick, lick. Jesus, Phil, I thought you were a professional.

2025-02-02 06:24:21 UTC

It hasn't been officially announced yet, but I'm probably not the next James Bond.

2025-01-31 22:42:02 UTC

My Peeing Calvin is peeing on your Peeing Calvin. So there.

2025-01-30 20:28:05 UTC

A.I. Betty White erotica. The market might be bigger than you think.