Mama's Pinky Toe

A wish is a dream is a smile Jesus Christ who writes this crap. 

Just My Toots: Mama's Pinky Toe (npub1re9…2mgp)">https://justmytoots.com/Mama's Pinky Toe (npub1re9…2mgp)

Public Key

npub1re96me77752m50j9h726hd8lnfpjpcx93huz8mtk5v3rfxkgh4jq6u2mgp

NIP-05 Address

mamaspinkytoe_at_mastodon.world@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqspujadul0029d68ezml9dtknle5sequrzcm7pra4m2xg35ntyt6eqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds0ezww2

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1re96me77752m50j9h726hd8lnfpjpcx93huz8mtk5v3rfxkgh4jq6u2mgp

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Last Notes

2025-12-22 21:41:27 UTC

You're meeting friends for brunch. Do you still eat breakfast?

2025-09-29 04:02:06 UTC

If you are zaftig and your sister is cruel, she may say, "Pregnant lady coming through! Pregnant lady coming through!" because she is so fucking funny.

2025-08-15 17:20:20 UTC

There was a kid in our junior high school who found a dead body. He was weird but finding a dead body made him cooler for a while. He never found another one, though, and people kind of lost interest in him.

2025-08-07 18:46:12 UTC

I wonder how long you could live trapped in a 7-Eleven. Two years I bet.

2025-05-05 07:20:13 UTC

At one time the most famous ZIP code in America was 60609.

2025-05-02 21:10:21 UTC

Flag Day is to be renamed Fuck You Day, except in the South, where it will be known as Fuck All Y'all Day.

2025-05-02 05:14:07 UTC

I can't tell if he's humping the bike or the bike is humping him.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/436/510/770/429/162/original/0b53459b9f070049.png

2025-04-29 03:11:05 UTC

You are bullshit. I am antibullshit. When we meet, I will destroy you.

2025-04-22 14:57:50 UTC

I am in love with . . .

2025-03-30 04:19:09 UTC

I wonder if JD and Usha did the dirty in Greenland.

2025-03-29 21:26:09 UTC

Amber Ruffin, guilty of JWB
https://bit.ly/3QVDhVW

2025-03-27 23:13:31 UTC

Canada is breaking up with US because of HIM.

2025-03-27 19:37:42 UTC

Would you sell one of your ears for $10?

2025-03-25 18:01:06 UTC

Not all members of Trump's cabinet are as smart as he is.

2025-03-25 16:43:30 UTC

Guys, I've got some bad news about Toonces.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/224/063/147/931/376/original/bc465cedd4217c08.jpeg

2025-03-25 16:19:23 UTC

I am willing to be paid $50,000 to visit Qatar.
#SponsorablePost

2025-03-24 19:13:27 UTC

I left my wallet on the train this morning. A man I have never met will hand it off to me on the last train this evening. I think I may have gotten mixed up in espionage.

2025-03-23 19:30:29 UTC

- reply

You have it. It's two of them, and you put them on backward. That should do the trick.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/213/392/465/918/355/original/cba3285643dff6d2.jpeg

2025-03-23 19:24:37 UTC

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Emojis are glitter for your eyes.

2025-03-23 19:05:43 UTC

It's more than just shapewear. It's a bra for your butt.

2025-03-23 18:40:55 UTC

I am going to fight emojis with hieroglyphs. Who's inscrutable now?
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/213/195/963/748/674/original/154d8af52f8b5550.jpg

2025-03-23 17:43:54 UTC

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Some of these posts are thought but not thought out.

2025-03-23 16:49:12 UTC

The right person will smell pretty.

2025-03-23 15:01:31 UTC

This seems like a scam.
https://gofund.me/9480cf61

2025-03-23 12:54:05 UTC

True Thing
My niece married a MAGA and is now a MAGA herself.

2025-03-23 12:49:38 UTC

Would the Munchkins be MAGA?

2025-03-20 00:30:58 UTC

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I had appended " - an engineer mansplaining to a classicist" but dropped that line.

2025-03-19 23:06:32 UTC

Icarus's true folly was not selecting an adhesive that could stand up to the rays of the sun.
- an engineer mansplains things to a classicist

2025-03-19 17:41:31 UTC

I'm going to sit back with some iced tea and wait for this whole "tech" thing to blow over.

2025-03-19 17:39:33 UTC

"We don't need their cars. We don't need their lumber." Then why are you trying to steal their country? Pig.

2025-03-18 18:18:45 UTC

Bondage in the 1970s: The Pleather Years

2025-03-17 03:08:19 UTC

In the commercials the babies love wearing diapers, the toddlers love wearing diapers, and the old people love wearing diapers. Everybody loves wearing diapers! This may be something to look into.

2025-03-16 17:43:43 UTC

Don’t be alarmed, ladies and gentlemen. It is perfectly safe. These chains are made of chrome steel!
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/173/335/620/055/422/original/40548b4850c72408.jpeg
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/173/340/897/145/243/original/3813d03466cc4bea.jpeg

2025-03-14 16:32:39 UTC

Infinite time plus infinite cookies equals infinite happy.

2025-03-07 19:52:26 UTC

Sure, a joke book with a 101 jokes might seem a better deal than a joke book with 100 jokes, but what if the quality suffers?

2025-03-06 03:13:13 UTC

These beautiful people in the beer commercials--do they actually exist?

2025-02-27 22:18:24 UTC

I am literally writing this right now.

2025-02-24 04:36:29 UTC

- Is it because I'm a grown man who plays with Beanie Babies? Is that the reason?
- Yes. That is exactly the reason.

2025-02-21 20:24:47 UTC

Thanks, Mitch McConnell!

2025-02-21 20:07:34 UTC

I take thing to EXTREMES! (You can't hear me but I'm shouting now and making faces.)

2025-02-21 16:45:15 UTC

The young actress who played Sun Baby on the Teletubbies never grew up and never changed. She's Sun Baby to this day. She's Sun Baby this very minute. She's stuck as fucking Sun Baby forever.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/042/870/306/663/785/original/64ec882d2635b21d.png

2025-02-21 03:51:35 UTC

"Orange Is the New Black" had a character named Crazy Eyes.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/039/838/138/496/804/original/dbcdc951f27786dc.jpeg

2025-02-19 21:03:30 UTC

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Leather shoes are saunas for your feet.

2025-02-19 08:32:15 UTC

I would love it if a member of the White House press corps asked Trump a simple question: did Russia invade Ukraine?

2025-02-18 22:01:32 UTC

I'm the Loch Ness Monster. Ask me anything.

2025-02-18 20:50:55 UTC

"Heart Eyes" is an insufferable romcom. I am rooting for the serial killer.

2025-02-17 21:32:22 UTC

I'd like to introduce squirrels into our relationship.

2025-02-14 23:07:06 UTC

If I converted to Judaism, it would mostly be for the space laser.

2025-02-14 09:04:26 UTC

This always cheers me up a little.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/001/424/892/576/506/original/6fec264afeef946f.jpeg

2025-02-14 04:36:39 UTC

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Put.io is a service--a website--that you can copy-and-paste a magnet link to. It downloads a file and saves it to your account. It's ten bucks a month for 100 GB of storage. The amount of storage doesn't really matter because you just download then download the file from your Put.io.
Eztvx.to is the site I go to for TV shows whose magnet links I copy over to my Put.io account.
It's easier but less flexible than torrenting.

2025-02-14 04:28:15 UTC

- reply

eztvx.to ($0) + put.io ($10 a month)

2025-02-14 03:28:13 UTC

Is this poll necessary?

2025-02-05 04:26:15 UTC

The Teletubbies are monster babies, not baby monsters, and that makes them terrifying.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/113/949/373/402/401/471/original/3523a37b5210fcfc.png

2025-02-04 22:38:17 UTC

- reply

Two for $3.29. I ate both.

2025-02-04 22:36:20 UTC

Did I eat this slice of shoe leather pizza? Yes, I did.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/113/948/003/598/192/799/original/b67d0cc81a017cd5.jpg

2025-02-02 21:10:43 UTC

And now Punsytawney Phil is licking himself. I have no idea what this means. Lick, lick, lick, lick, lick. Jesus, Phil, I thought you were a professional.

2025-02-02 06:24:21 UTC

It hasn't been officially announced yet, but I'm probably not the next James Bond.

2025-01-31 22:42:02 UTC

My Peeing Calvin is peeing on your Peeing Calvin. So there.

2025-01-30 20:28:05 UTC

A.I. Betty White erotica. The market might be bigger than you think.

2025-01-27 01:21:54 UTC

Everybody's refrigerator hums, but mine hums the theme from "The Andy Griffith Show."

2025-01-25 22:33:05 UTC

"I like what you're wearing" and "I like how you've festooned yourself" are similar and yet not.

2025-01-25 19:20:45 UTC

Lots of people are pretending to work on their laptops. I'm the only one at this Starbucks pretending to work on their abacus.

2025-01-24 02:56:02 UTC

They call it leprechaun porn but they aren't real leprechauns. They're just little people dressed up as leprechauns having sex with each other.

2025-01-23 18:38:06 UTC

Hello, 911? Yes, they're playing pickleball on the Cedar Rose tennis courts again and it's driving me BANANAS!
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/113/879/115/757/343/854/original/81c25fb145f5178e.jpeg

2025-01-22 03:19:28 UTC

I know the college football season is over, but shouldn't there be a Pizza Bowl? Sugar Bowl, Orange Bowl, Rose Bowl--by the way, I can't fucking eat roses--and the Pizza Bowl. What kind of America are we living in?

2025-01-21 02:27:31 UTC

Every time a post has a typo, a copyeditor smirks.

2025-01-20 18:08:16 UTC

Hot water bottle. Mmmmmmmmm. Hot water bottle. Mmmmmmmmm.

2025-01-20 03:45:29 UTC

He's a barber who only barbers other barbers. The Dexter of barbers.

2025-01-19 05:35:47 UTC

What certain universities are to Nobel Prize winners Florida is to Darwin Award winners.

2025-01-18 22:14:16 UTC

My Irish grandfather was once in an elevator with my mother and some older women. To no one in particular he said, "Without a doubt this is the homeliest bunch of women I have ever seen," before turning to my mother and saying, "Except for you, my dear."

2025-01-18 18:48:29 UTC

- Is it a faux pas to arrive at a BDSM convention already "leathered up"?
- It depends on the location. I'd call the hotel or conference center beforehand for details.

2025-01-15 16:32:57 UTC

Whenever someone lectures me about masculinity, I kick them in the balls.

2025-01-03 23:24:53 UTC

Kid Rock and the Super Bowl have the same personality.

2024-12-31 02:01:58 UTC

Why can't Starbucks sell donuts? Why do they have to be so stuck up?

2024-12-25 22:54:00 UTC

Spot the rock star.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/113/715/919/089/852/562/original/5d556f97afb6f430.jpeg

2024-12-22 18:23:42 UTC

I wrote "darn" and went back and wrote "damn."

2024-12-11 20:08:29 UTC

Popeye had his spinach. Kimberly Guilfoyle has her dick pics.

2024-12-02 00:16:12 UTC

Is Disneyland culture?

2024-12-01 20:03:07 UTC

It's not enough to be unqualified for a job in Trump's cabinet. You must be the singularly and spectacularly most unqualified person for the job.

2024-12-01 06:12:50 UTC

Panda Express is the only restaurant with real panda on the menu.

2024-11-29 21:33:27 UTC

I suspected he was not a real hypnotist when he said I was growing Swedish, very Swedish, but here I am, doing many typically Swedish things.

2024-11-27 14:33:09 UTC

I wonder if Ikea sells sporks.

2024-11-27 14:13:30 UTC

Swear to God, it was like seeing Elvis.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/113/555/308/099/384/085/original/79464195c760dd2a.jpeg

2024-11-27 00:35:04 UTC

I never go anywhere without a spoon in case I have to tunnel my way out of prison.

2024-11-25 19:53:17 UTC

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Movie, 1950s.
"Hogan's Heroes" is still very watchable, I admit.

2024-11-25 19:22:00 UTC

Only two TV shows from the 1960s retain even a glimmer of relevance.
1. Star Trek
2. Gilligan's Island

2024-11-25 18:37:39 UTC

I cannot simply cross out a word I miswrite. I have to obliterate it.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/113/545/033/351/715/211/original/36904acf71d68c33.jpeg

2024-11-24 00:35:01 UTC

Fake my own death? I'm too busy faking my own life.

2024-11-23 00:31:25 UTC

- reply

Collections.

2024-11-23 00:17:32 UTC

I like your fuck-you attitude. Young man, you're hired.

2024-11-22 23:42:43 UTC

If you're a real hipster, you don't just drink Schlitz. You also say "Go for the gusto" when you open a can.

2024-11-21 04:57:46 UTC

I wonder if they'll dress up Stephen Miller in a little uniform or something.

2024-11-20 04:04:46 UTC

When you live alone, no one thanks you for bringing back pizza.

2024-11-20 02:54:51 UTC

This is why we need to outlaw sex.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/113/513/010/697/190/918/original/c34b595e4ce5f0fa.png

2024-11-18 07:30:12 UTC

Jimmy Durante, Karl Malden--back when men had noses.

2024-11-18 07:24:16 UTC

I won't rest till we find a fifty-eight-year-old who CAN whoop Jake Paul.

2024-11-14 13:50:31 UTC

I'm pretty sure Paul Lynde was gay.

2024-10-06 19:52:21 UTC

White people consistently overestimate public demand for their thoughts on race.

2024-09-14 20:32:33 UTC

The Canadians think they're better than us.

2024-09-14 20:28:51 UTC

Is running somebody over in a crosswalk a more serious offense than just running somebody over?