Greg Knauss

I blogged before rafeco@hachyderm.io.

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npub1hymrhwnlmc9emafyh9we4lpeqr9rwdsxhkz49tw0vlrtmh5rve9qnp2dza

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gknauss_at_mastodon.social@mostr.pub

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nprofile1qqstjd3mhflauzua75jtjhv6lsuspj3hxcrtmp2j4h8k034am6pkvjspz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds6kdvv5

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relay.damus.io

nos.lol

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npub1hymrhwnlmc9emafyh9we4lpeqr9rwdsxhkz49tw0vlrtmh5rve9qnp2dza

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Last Notes

2024-08-02 03:26:43

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@npub1r6r…u73e I feel like this could have easily gone a different way.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/890/295/012/244/976/original/9f5cbaf6fbf3bf3a.png

2024-08-01 21:11:56

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@npub1na9…nagt Dan.

2024-08-01 13:34:24

Trump wants to be clear on the specific details of Harris’ ancestry, so he can get the slurs right.

2024-07-31 20:43:30

Trump in front of any audience that isn’t adoring bigots: “My name is Donald Trump and—“ [Noisily shits self.]

2024-07-31 15:46:13

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@npub1zdp…vqv8 Can you imagine how miserable it must be to live inside his head?

2024-07-31 06:42:08

Matt Walsh argues that the GOP can’t win the celebrity-endorsement contest, so it “should focus on policy instead.”
…On literally the same day that the most significant Republican policy initiative of the campaign — Project 2025 — closed up shop because their proposal is 900 pages of fascist horror.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/879/738/801/828/394/original/bae6041fa1759353.jpeg

2024-07-30 18:09:09

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@npub1vhe…33f8 Now you need to do the “Jackie Brown” walk down the mosaic tunnel.

2024-07-29 19:30:43

Other significant but often over-looked threat models:
• Kernel-mode drivers written in memory-unsafe languages
• Bees, somehow
• Capitalism

2024-07-29 18:55:14

“The entire website is bought by a ketamine-addled right-wing psychopath who then flouts his own rules during a rage-fuelled conspiratorial meltdown” is not a _common_ threat model, but it can be a significant one.

2024-07-29 05:28:01

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@npub187f…zrxz You should Google it, but first please sign this liability waiver, and this indemnification, aaaand this release. OK! Great!
You also might want to have a drink first.

2024-07-29 04:27:16

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Goddammit.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/867/883/879/615/300/original/a175336fd4022f1f.png

2024-07-29 04:13:21

I finally figured out how to not embarrass myself at Lex.Games Mini crossword: Play as soon as it goes live.
If I never check the leaderboard again, I can go on assuming that I remain in first.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/867/828/940/199/332/original/490a124030561cd3.png

2024-07-29 02:29:59

Any time someone tries to tells you that MAGA conservatives aren’t weirdos, ask them how Tucker Carlson’s campaign to get men to tan their balls is going.

2024-07-28 23:20:18

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@npub18zj…yrwy Unflavored White Claw Non-Alcoholic Non-Carbonated Seltzer, $20/12 pack.

2024-07-28 12:54:27

Ronnie Jackson wrote that he examined Trump after the assassination attempt, and said there was a “two centimeter-wide” gunshot wound on his right ear.
The picture below is from the AP yesterday.
There is only one possible conclusion:
Trump is Wolverine, and therefore Canadian, and therefore ineligible for the Presidency.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/864/215/920/420/639/original/bf51d25c4f1634b7.jpeg

2024-07-27 18:26:14

Ironically, the fact that I love candy, candy, candy so is one of the reasons I don’t have abs like Iggy Pop.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/859/858/230/603/367/original/c9a4146ebe57ebdd.jpeg

2024-07-27 14:28:47

First, they laugh at you.
Then sometimes they continue to laugh at you, because you’re a complete weirdo, who can’t stop talking about birth rates or “the woke mind virus” or phrenology.

2024-07-27 13:52:24

Oh, sure, it starts with hugging the flag or kissing someone’s fire helmet, but pretty soon you’re balls-deep in a settee.
Vance screaming at Trump, eyeliner streaming down his face: “You, alright? I leaned it by watching you!”
I _cannot wait_ for the history of this episode to be written. Someone is going to get a PhD in the aberrant sexualization of inanimate objects in the context of political discourse, or “couchfucker studies.”

2024-07-25 05:28:58

Confidential to “JD4VP”:
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/845/477/307/448/307/original/75f794982dcad3cb.mp4

2024-07-25 05:27:38

Confidential to “JD4VP”:
https://overcast.fm/+AAYxDMcZV-Y/12:52

2024-07-25 04:00:55

[DONALD TRUMP]
They say /
Joe Biden's yielding his power and stepping away
That true? /
I wasn't aware that was something a person could do

2024-07-23 20:59:34

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@npub1na9…nagt Look, that’s not where I keep my diamonds. They’d chafe.

2024-07-23 16:14:46

Dear customer: All the prices listed next to items are actually 6% less than what they actually cost.
Hidden fees have made their way to goddamned _menus_.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/836/692/002/749/768/original/2017ef6cf0798343.jpeg

2024-07-23 14:17:20

Since JD Vance likes Diet Mountain Dew, I took the 12-pack I have in the fridge into the backyard and filmed myself shooting it up with a machine gun.
Ha ha, no, not really. I’m not an infant.

2024-07-23 04:06:37

Watching the party of insurrection, fake electors, gerrymandering, and the relentless purging of voter roles cry “Cheating!” is _hilarious_.

2024-07-22 05:30:28

Elon Musk, four days into his Kickstarter, realizing it’s failing.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/828/496/291/022/279/original/e30da2ea4ab3b389.jpeg

2024-07-21 18:54:49

I hope Joe Biden enjoys a long and happy retirement where his only obligation is attending other ex-President’s funerals.

2024-07-21 17:12:28

Proposal: Change references to “Spın̈al Tap drummer” to “Trump Vice President.”

2024-07-21 01:11:53

There is more follow-up on any random tech podcast than there has been on the attempted assassination of a major-party Presidential candidate.

2024-07-20 21:55:42

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@npub1sqh…pf0f [Talking around a mouthful of ice cream:] Hell, yeah!

2024-07-20 21:06:25

XOXO is just a month away, and I still have a bunch of stuff on my to-do list:
☐ Lose 70 pounds
☐ Remember that when I disagree with someone in person, I can’t flip them off, like I do on the phone
☐ Visit the Voodoo Donuts® in Universal® CityWalk® to ready myself for Portland’s unique food scene
☐ Contribute in literally any way to the larger culture I want to see
☐ Get the suitcase out of the garage

2024-07-20 04:47:39

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@npub14v9…aang No! I can’t believe they left it out.
What’s a man got to do to see an airborne movie these days?

2024-07-20 02:54:51

Just saw “2wis2er.”

2024-07-19 20:55:54

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@npub18em…j9t4 I had to go and double-check if “Colombiana” was Zoe Saldana’s character’s name or not.
Sadly, no.

2024-07-19 15:45:54

When he was creating his sit-com, Ray Romano was hesitant to call it “Everybody Loves Raymond” because any bad reviews would basically title themselves.
I wonder what the person picked the name “CrowdStrike” is doing right now.

2024-07-19 14:13:49

Who’s an idiot for running curl as root and piping the output to a shell now, huh? Huh?

2024-07-18 15:05:43

These are the same people who wore band-aids to mock John Kerry’s Purple Heart.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/808/108/904/712/480/original/2e423939d79df076.jpeg

2024-07-18 04:44:10

I will always think of JD Vance has part of the cadre of conservative men who decided that a beard would butch up their doughy, Ivy League suit-wearing: Ted Cruz, Don Jr., etc.

2024-07-17 01:53:51

I wonder why Steve Bannon isn’t at the Republican Convent—
Oh, yeah.
Hee hee.

2024-07-16 14:47:26

“And screw the guy standing behind him,” adds God.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/796/712/461/493/044/original/a4d1831ccff05695.png

2024-07-15 22:24:13

A man known for valuing toadying loyalty and obsequious devotion to him personally above all else, including the law, common sense, and any cosmology that dares put literally anything else at the center of creation:
“I like JD Vance.”

2024-07-15 19:04:57

I guess the future will just have to keep sending guys.

2024-07-13 00:02:13

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@npub1el8…4l26 I mean…
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/776/244/666/012/660/original/5e70a713d4d0f047.jpeg

2024-07-12 21:50:30

You know those ridiculously aggro modern pickup trucks, with the five-foot high hoods and no forward visibility? I finally figured out what they remind me of.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/775/726/803/833/756/original/72d792559e0dbf5d.jpeg

2024-07-12 18:05:37

In high school, I played the father in “My Sister Elieen,” and in one scene, I come into their shared apartment and start speaking to one of my daughters.
“So tell me, Ruth— Elieen— Whoever you are.”
I had screwed up the line, but it’s so common for people to do this — to fumble names when they share the same contextual space — the audience thought it was scripted and laughed.

2024-07-12 14:30:56

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@npub1r6r…u73e
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/773/998/275/157/696/original/724ece180c136443.png

2024-07-12 01:46:53

Why doesn’t Biden just say “Person, woman, man, camera, TV” and put the matter to rest?

2024-07-11 21:03:00

What if it’s a actually “The Cool 8”?

2024-07-11 14:58:25

The canny career path in Republican circles is apparently to debase yourself to Donald Trump so he’ll pick you for Vice President on the off-chance that he dies before deciding to have his followers murder you.

2024-07-11 01:45:17

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@npub18zj…yrwy CONTENTMENT IS NOT ALLOWED. HAPPY IS NOT PROFITABLE.
THIS SYSTEM ERROR WILL BE CORRECTED.

2024-07-10 22:39:21

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@npub1vhe…33f8 I can’t believe they didn’t make them blue.

2024-07-10 20:37:00

Possibilities in ascending order of awfulness:
1) The owner worships Russian military intelligence, and is likely a spy.
2) The owner worships the Minions franchise, and likely has a very upsetting room in their house.
3) The owner is devotee of PragerU, but thinks it needs to be religiously intolerant, too; is likely a spy.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/764/113/159/642/391/original/3ef906b50fdcdf93.jpeg

2024-07-10 16:08:36

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@npub18zj…yrwy Nobody every went broke, etc, etc, etc.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/763/057/773/711/161/original/c2fef2cc38f1a5ab.jpeg

2024-07-10 15:03:56

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@npub14eq…pkz5 She said please!

2024-07-10 13:08:01

My wife is cleaning up after making bacon, and she needs to drain the grease, and I’m standing at the fridge, and she says, “Please grab the fat can.”
…
I’m hoping she’ll decide if she’s angry or amused by tonight.

2024-07-10 02:10:25

Project 2025 is like fan-fic for bigots, slash with fascism and Christianity. I’m surprised the pages aren’t stuck together.
Which is pretty hard to do with a PDF.

2024-07-09 16:42:49

I really like it when fast food drive-thru has a trash can, so I can dump all the garbage from the last time I was there.
[Taps forehead.] Know your customer.

2024-07-09 13:41:26

It’s so hot — and I use this phrase in the most literal sense, without any deeply upsetting double-meaning — that my Tide Pods are swollen.

2024-07-08 16:22:04

I’m at the point in the book where the investigative journalist cat is headed into the sex district with the mind of a sentient train temporarily held in a robot beaver, and if I stop reading for ten minutes, this carefully constructed scaffolding of narrative momentum will collapse into a giant pile of what-the-hell.

2024-07-08 13:14:28

I know Broken Windows is a disproven theory, but I can’t help thinking of it every time I get out of the shower and look in the mirror.

2024-07-08 03:47:31

Fascists are complaining that the Left won in France via “collusion” and a “dishonorable alliance,” when what they really mean is that they don’t have any friends and having friends is cheating and leave us alone and we hate you! [Bedroom door slams.]

2024-07-07 18:16:35

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@npub1890…gdud It was super-fun. I’d love to see someone cut a comparison of the action-movie cliches from blockbusters next to the “Thelma” version.

2024-07-07 18:14:39

https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/746/566/466/453/602/original/f6d0c80d6f7d816c.jpeg

2024-07-06 17:40:16

Democracy dies on the front page of the Washington Post.

2024-07-05 19:35:26

The Hot Pockets “crisping sleeve” is really over-selling itself.

2024-07-04 21:08:21

If anybody needs me, I’m going to be busy for the next half hour.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/730/262/537/383/021/original/2ddc2a84ac2bbb05.jpeg

2024-07-04 17:37:28

John Roberts puts the briquettes onto the grill and searches around for kindling. He pats his pockets, and finds a crumpled copy of the Constitution that he stuffed there a couple of days ago.
She shrugs and strikes the match.

2024-07-03 14:46:29

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@npub15kx…3a3u Yeah, I completely agree. I love nerds screwing around, but let’s find a functional use-case before reorganizing society around a neat hack.

2024-07-03 13:36:35

Hey, here’s a kooky idea: How about finding a problem to solve _before_ inventing a technology, rather than the other way around?

2024-07-03 01:31:11

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@npub1hj5…v74l No one’s name has been changed because NO ONE IS INNOCENT.

2024-07-03 01:00:50

Walked a quarter mile through the crime-infested heart of a Democrat-controlled city today, and was robbed half a dozen times and killed twice.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/719/851/051/204/045/original/9584611e91fc8bdc.jpeg
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/719/851/690/344/624/original/5bea8fe459ff25e9.jpeg
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/719/852/149/685/381/original/1980a948e6218292.jpeg

2024-07-02 23:25:50

Well, I didn’t get seated for the grand jury, foiling my plan to wear an “ACAB” t-shirt and claim that I’m a dyslexic fan of early-80’s Genesis.
The Venn diagram of the last hundred years of leftist anarchism and prog-rock deep cuts consists entirely of this joke.

2024-07-02 18:48:41

We’re on break, and in the hallway is a 13? 14? year old kid about to testify in a criminal trial, and he’s so, so nervous.
“I’m not ready for this,” he’s repeating, half-joking. “I’m not ready for this. I watch too many crime shows. It feels like a roller coaster.”
“Do you like roller coasters?” asks his chaperone.
“No,” he says.
This kid is a goddamned hero. There are 150 adults here trying to get out of four days of their civic duty and he’s muscling through to go tell the truth.

2024-07-02 13:28:12

I start grand jury service today, and I’m really eager to see how that whole rule-of-law thing is going.

2024-07-02 01:39:17

So I’m guessing Leonard Leo will be handing some fat gratuities pretty soon.

2024-07-01 19:09:25

One unanticipated and especially unfortunate aspect of all this is that I’ve had “Pink Pony Club” stuck in my head for days, and it’s now alternating with despair over the fate of the country.
“— 🎼 I’m gonna keep on dancing’ —“
This is the end of the American experiment, the final result of the fascist project.
“— 🎶 At the Pink Pony Club —“
I hope history remembers these bastards exactly as they are.
“— 🎵Pink Pony Club…”

2024-07-01 16:04:29

Thinking of The Pelican Brief today, no reason.

2024-07-01 14:50:15

It’s weird to see two-thirds of the Supreme Court declare themselves unindicted co-conspirators.

2024-06-30 23:10:10

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@npub1r6r…u73e Hey, man. Don’t kink-shame the diacritical fetishists.

2024-06-30 22:53:42

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@npub1r6r…u73e It read the title of the Lady Gaga song as “Y-O-U-diaeresis and I.”

2024-06-30 22:14:26

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The Baseball Gods are swift, and cruel.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/707/873/191/644/871/original/e0aea74c5754f53e.jpeg

2024-06-30 16:31:55

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@npub1d7q…ska7 I haven’t shaved and have been sort of mumbling to myself all morning, so it’s almost the same.

2024-06-30 15:56:43

I may have to go to work tomorrow, but Steve Bannon has to go to prison.

2024-06-30 03:22:53

Hallmark is running their “Christmas in July” movies in June. The enemy is advancing on all fronts.
Yes, I lost control of the TV after the game.

2024-06-30 03:05:26

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@npub1wp7…44j9 Those where carefully calculated hits to _just_ miss fielders gloves. They were planned that way.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

2024-06-30 02:59:01

The sole thing I miss about Twitter is being able to @ a bunch of friends in San Francisco with a single tweet any time the Dodgers are stomping the Giants.
So, instead, I offer this to the universe:
You guys watchin’ the game? It’s a good one.

2024-06-29 19:14:34

I know which grandpa I’d want at _my_ Thanksgiving dinner.

2024-06-29 15:35:59

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@npub1qrt…acaq In high school, our journalism teacher turned 40 (which seemed impossibly old at the time), and we snuck a supplement dedicated to her in the next issue, headlined “30 isn’t the end, 40 is.”

2024-06-29 13:29:14

This is very sad, but whoever laid out this memorial was never in journalism, because it’s also very funny.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/700/145/703/210/550/original/4641cdbd2899be85.jpeg

2024-06-29 04:47:25

I wonder if anybody in Microsoft’s AI division has ever read “An Open Letter to Hobbyists”?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Open_Letter_to_Hobbyists

2024-06-29 03:18:43

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@npub1jaj…54mc That’s not a baseball cap, man. It’s mesh in back and the face is too tall and squared off.
That is a trucker hat.
At least you’re not wearing it backwards.

2024-06-29 01:37:43

“6-3” is going to be this country’s epitaph.

2024-06-29 00:30:34

Before voting to criminalize the homeless, Clarence Thomas wondered why they just didn’t live in their giant motorhomes that he assumes everybody gets for free.

2024-06-28 20:20:28

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@npub1r6r…u73e That would explain President Ranting Nutjob.

2024-06-28 17:04:56

A major political party is talking about replacing its candidate for President, and it’s not the one who is an insurrection leader, an adjudicated rapist, a convicted felon, an indicted traitor, a documented serial liar; a family-separating, vaccine-denying, corporation-coddling, environment-destroying, cult-leading racist, sexist, homophobic, clownish monster.
What the fuck, America?

2024-06-26 14:43:55

“These claw decals are going to make my car look so cool, like something attacked it.”
A finger on the money’s paw curls.h
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/683/452/365/817/748/original/a19fbfdaf2e89756.jpeg

2024-06-26 02:15:36

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@npub1a5m…c7gu I saw it and actually muttered, “Same” to myself.

2024-06-25 15:12:00

This tree has had its center rotted out, but it’s still, somehow, standing.
I bring this up for no reason at all.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/677/900/533/194/917/original/4730a6bdac619f03.jpeg

2024-06-24 16:45:44

This is great branding, because “JFC” is usually the initialism I have in my head when I decide I need a plumber.
https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/112/672/606/822/208/041/original/44c237faef7eebd0.jpeg

2024-06-23 22:16:58

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@npub1eee…e209 Lowe’s is a other ten minutes away, twenty additional for the full round-trip, and that’s time enough for my momentum to die and the project to sit half-finished for another week.