Logan Five Thousand

I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST.

Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo.

Former sketch/improv person. I love #Taskmaster, #OnePunchMan, and #Boundless (the endurance race show).

Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole.

I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers.

Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married)

#humor
#humour
#comedy
#jokes
#dadjokes
#puns
#writing
#improv
#standup
#fedi22

Just My Toots: Logan Five Thousand (npub1dnq…yqks)">https://justmytoots.com/Logan Five Thousand (npub1dnq…yqks)
Alt Text: Avatar: Big Foot but kind of handsome in a hairy way
Alt Text: Header: Scene from Attack All Monsters with Godzilla and a Monster Battle Royale!
My Biggest Winners: Logan Five Thousand (npub1dnq…yqks)">https://topmastodonposts.patrikcsak.com/by/Logan Five Thousand (npub1dnq…yqks)

Public Key

npub1dnqned2t9l7jv2r2zlzgmap6dvfz2me5m5hgsm9g3ukhp3m4xu6qyryqks

NIP-05 Address

loganfive_at_beige.party@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsxesfuk49jllfx9p4p03yd7saxky39du6d6t5gdj5g7ttsca6nwdqprpmhxue69uhhqatzd35kxtnjv4kxz7tfdenju6t0qy28wumn8ghj7un9d3shjtnyv9kh2uewd9hsf8stm2

Publishing to

public.relaying.io

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1dnqned2t9l7jv2r2zlzgmap6dvfz2me5m5hgsm9g3ukhp3m4xu6qyryqks

Show more details

Published at

2026-04-29T10:57:09Z

Kind type

0 Metadata

Event JSON

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Last Notes

2026-03-22 00:00:24 UTC

- reply

This is just so lovely. The poem and picture apart are great already and together they are just very heart warming.

2026-02-27 17:47:19 UTC

The first sign of an evil villain is that they excessively laugh at their own jokes.
(I’m looking at you, Skeletor.)

2025-10-22 19:17:58 UTC

- reply

If you're writing about lactating it's titposting.

2025-10-22 05:57:43 UTC

*Chef, tastes the Fediverse*
Chef (in a deep French accent): It needs more shitposting.

2025-09-21 18:48:16 UTC

I’m trying to figure out who cares less, the person who doesn’t give a shit or the one who doesn’t give a fuck.

2025-09-04 06:30:41 UTC

Who in the Fediverse would you most like to meet in real life? (And feel free to tag them.)
Boost to reach that person in the back.

2025-08-31 18:53:01 UTC

You don't need permission to live the life that's right for you.

2025-06-24 21:17:38 UTC

Have you tried turning the country off and on again?

2025-06-24 02:31:38 UTC

This is a test toot.
No alt text is intentional.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/735/990/828/418/640/original/35348d091995951e.jpeg

2025-06-06 05:11:34 UTC

I’m thinking about going back to school for a computer science degree so I can understand what the hell people are talking about around here.

2025-03-28 07:00:51 UTC

I joined a running group at the track today and I may as well have been part of a walking group next to them.
I still got 4 miles in but I find the running clubs near me don’t have any casual runners. Just about everyone is intense and going minimum of 6-8 miles on easy days and training for 30-50 milers.
I miss my old running club that had a slower pace and I was actually one of the faster people. Well, at least I’m getting out there and trying to meet people.
Why is it so hard to make friends when you’re older?
#running #SlowRunner
#Friends

2025-03-11 04:31:50 UTC

- reply

That was beautiful Nor Cal Gma. Do your grandkids call you Gma? Thank you for inspiring us. Sending love back to you. ♥️

2025-03-04 22:11:30 UTC

Does anyone in Sacramento want to hang out?

2025-02-14 02:58:51 UTC

Grendel’s mom has got it going on.

2025-02-11 03:19:17 UTC

“I wasn’t yelling! I was just talking loud!”
-me, explaining myself to the void

2025-02-08 16:52:37 UTC

- reply

I feel like you told me before but I misplaced it. I need a bookmark system with multiple layers.

2025-02-08 04:13:58 UTC

- reply

Which episode of VOY are people watching?

2025-02-01 07:32:38 UTC

Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume?
Me: That’s when I was dead inside.

2025-01-23 19:04:45 UTC

Resolutions shouldn’t be limited to January 1st. You can reinvent yourself at any time. Try something new, reach for something more.

2025-01-20 20:53:13 UTC

There is no point in watching a show you don’t like and where you already know the outcome.

2025-01-18 03:16:17 UTC

- reply

Thank you everyone. I appreciate the support.

2025-01-17 18:50:43 UTC

I’m not doing well this week. Any good jokes or puns would be appreciated.

2025-01-13 06:37:01 UTC

If you haven't made someone feel good lately, perhaps you're overdue.
And when I say "someone," that can also mean you.

2025-01-11 18:45:41 UTC

And Jesus grated the cheese for his friends which paired well with the bread, and said, “This bread is my body, but the cheese is like my totally sweet abs.”
#BensCheeseGrater
#TheHolyGrater

2024-08-07 00:35:43 UTC

- reply

I hear you. I mean, I'm almost suspicious of anyone who doesn't have things they had to learn and grow from. I'd rather have someone who made a mistake years ago and apologized and learned from it than someone who keeps gaslighting everyone to have them believe they're perfect.

2024-06-30 16:29:39 UTC

- reply

I’m sorry for your loss. 🫂