leechseed

:kirbeats: :yuistare: :jp2: good vibes only :jp2: :yuistare: :kirbeats:

st. edith stein and skyr enthusiast

this is where i post my mental breakdowns in real time

Public Key

npub1d58lvrjmr4lgpsvh88lx28ujp0nyggc5m3wvrzyf7qqtmu0udrlss4jv5f

NIP-05 Address

leechseed@cawfee-club.mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsx6rlkped36l5qcxtnnln9r7fqhejyyv2dchxp3zylqq9a787x3lcpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dswn2t8s

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1d58lvrjmr4lgpsvh88lx28ujp0nyggc5m3wvrzyf7qqtmu0udrlss4jv5f

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Last Notes

2024-08-28 18:50:30 UTC

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@npub1cp5…4kea also Sojiro Seta from Rurouni Kenshin and Ramlethal from Guilty Gear are just like me fr

2024-08-28 18:45:03 UTC

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@npub1cp5…4kea yeah. people were doing this as old as the ancient world. like in Confessions, St. Augustine says a similar thing about him and Aeneas iirc

2024-08-28 18:02:56 UTC

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11:55 due timing is actually evil

2024-08-28 18:02:44 UTC

prof was sadistic for this
https://cawfee.club/media/0c57fe0d57263553a7043659c61ea12ca9a55cd1efa3c123c24bca6b26498ff4.png

2024-08-27 07:35:01 UTC

i would murder someone for an umaru bomber jacket

2024-08-09 08:12:27 UTC

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@npub1w4j…cead i think i was doomscrolling the news on my phone and found out kamala won, and then turned my head to watch sailor moon on the CRT in my room

2024-08-08 21:54:13 UTC

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@npub1py2…65cz
you can tell the type of asian someone is with bait. an example is viets, who spawn whenever you have a bottle of hennessy. or pinoys with snapbacks. or... actually every type of asian with raves.

2024-08-08 21:51:40 UTC

i had a dream kamala won and i was watching sailor moon on an old CRT that I had in my room. i woke up to realize the CRT went away ages ago and its not october yet.
on another note i started using instagram reels and now i feel brainrotted

2024-08-03 04:28:56 UTC

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@npub1mew…gjf7
it's called koliva
https://elenisaltas.com/2024/01/15/koliva-memorial-dish/

2024-08-01 23:59:31 UTC

if my funeral doesnt have melkite funeral cake (its called ameh) i dont wanna die

2024-07-28 08:46:59 UTC

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@npub175d…wrtj what does zdravas mean

2024-07-28 08:44:03 UTC

rip woodie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b60pX4sPvao

2024-07-26 20:06:35 UTC

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@npub1py2…65cz i have an insane addiction to skyr. my fridge whenever i'm at school is like 50 percent skyr, 25 percent milk, and 25 percent other stuff

2024-07-24 02:24:56 UTC

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@npub1al5…klcc I guess we're officially a thing. It feels bizarre that I have a girlfriend now.

2024-07-16 15:58:13 UTC

realizing a lot of my bad boxing habits are good kickboxing habits

2024-07-16 15:58:12 UTC

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@npub1lw8…8pw8 : (

2024-07-14 00:11:20 UTC

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@npub1al5…klcc Psycho-rizzed girl doesn't seem that crazy to me. I think more than anything she has a beautiful heart and a good head on her shoulders. Granted I've only really known her for 3 weeks so I could be saying this blindly, my with my eyesight being replaced by googly eyes.

2024-07-13 20:02:16 UTC

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I'm close friends with a biochem professor at my school. She offered to teach me Organic Chemistry.

2024-07-13 20:01:21 UTC

THERES SO MUCH TO LEARN IN THIS LIFE AHHHH
I want to start learning chemistry. But that's because I want to learn about winemaking and stuff in a serious manner.
My Heian literature knowledge is growing... But at a certain point that would require learning Japanese. Same thing with Neoplatonism and Greek, or Scholasticism and Latin.
Side note, but I had my first kiss with the girl I psycho rizzed yesterday. Homeschooled Catholic weeb is an interesting character.

2024-07-11 01:53:00 UTC

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@npub14w7…przn yeah ngl i'm kind of a fakecel

2024-07-10 20:06:24 UTC

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@npub1tdf…p9pl as long as she makes the hash browns properly i will die a happy man

2024-07-10 16:35:14 UTC

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@npub1tdf…p9pl can she fight doe

2024-07-10 05:06:22 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 i feel like hitler wouldve awakened a mangekyo sharingan after watching his homies die via shell in the trenches. either that or when someone stole his lil doggie

2024-07-10 04:56:59 UTC

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@npub1g0u…3vfw oh i guess niggy hardare is american too

2024-07-10 04:56:30 UTC

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@npub1g0u…3vfw is cawfee mainly european? am i the only (active) american?

2024-07-10 04:53:25 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 do u think hitler and madara uchiha would've been friends

2024-07-10 02:40:02 UTC

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@npub1g0u…3vfw one of my irl oomfies is a woman who is a self-described misogynist and i wonder if thats basically the equivalent of me
the more time i spend in male circles the more i realize men are trash

2024-07-08 17:21:19 UTC

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@npub1py2…65cz you can still find a job with a math degree if you know how to code. at least with my friends. but that also depends on your school's career placement, your own connections, and how i guess dedicated you are to the grind.
i really enjoyed my degree. i think im a lil burned out now though.

2024-07-08 05:35:33 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 i see, thank you!

2024-07-08 02:38:50 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 icic. yeah i know nothing about indian stuff besides the fact that people theorize that ammonious saccas was actually an indian. are there any works you recommend on this?

2024-07-08 02:35:40 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 i gotta be honest this was some dude's thesis that i pirated off libgen or something because i found out it had a work i was looking for. i didnt read the introduction LOL

2024-07-08 02:17:06 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 i wonder how you'd feel with respect to the confucian tradition. leibniz' 'discourse on the natural theology of the chinese' i feel like talks about this pretty well, ive included it here.
https://cawfee.club/media/62f9e8f5dfc2f768d2c56ec3e27799b5f71173cb9b41ffd31d0aa170cab5c6aa.pdf

2024-07-08 02:14:21 UTC

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@npub1py2…65cz What's your current undergrad? Math + datasci is an easy path to a good career if you don't grow to hate datascience programming by the end of it.

2024-07-08 02:13:37 UTC

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@npub1py2…65cz GPA doesn't matter that much if you're trying to get a job immediately after school. A lot of companies are GPA blind, especially if you don't put it on your resume.
GPA *does* matter for grad school and stuff.

2024-07-05 06:49:42 UTC

i wonder if i should get into law. i'd have to probably get a philosophy MA to make up for my undergrad GPA (which isn't horrible for my school but isn't stellar either, granted my school has a reputation for grade deflation) but the LSAT doesn't seem that hard and tbh there isn't any wfh math job that's particularly appealing to me (ive grown to hate programming). law has a lot of WFH stuff, there's a lot of stuff back home that does stuff with law, and it pays well, on top of being intellectually stimulating.
the downside is im sus of lawyers. idk.

2024-07-05 06:44:15 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 not AM1260 BAYBEE :feelsgoodman:

2024-07-03 16:16:59 UTC

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@npub1lw8…8pw8 i think they wouldve been friends

2024-07-03 14:50:04 UTC

i turned 21 and i lost most of my desire to drink alcohol
i think the thrill of it was the thrill that a little kid has when hes eating candy his mom doesnt want him to eat. and i think it explains why i like sweet alcohols

2024-06-24 21:24:58 UTC

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update i started talking to her about gibly. she thinks im cute and wants to call tonight???

2024-06-24 21:22:51 UTC

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mood
https://cawfee.club/media/d0b77965b16002bf1874677f9fa00ad670b91f53afa535a8602e6008f2e2b618.gif

2024-06-24 15:15:08 UTC

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alright r/coffeeclub what do i say
https://cawfee.club/media/b5f369bc494edc8b3e42e8eb2b87cc8c6fb77e18bfe9dce4838504899fa18afc.png

2024-06-23 22:07:03 UTC

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@npub1mew…gjf7 okie

2024-06-23 22:04:08 UTC

315 squat attempt tomorrow. LEND ME YOUR ENERGY
https://cawfee.club/media/b63a7fd0a7f949f39dd2b629f45bb484a0969681e2813f81acc7d28ecfe36b1f.jpeg

2024-06-23 19:27:55 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 she told me that i'm not a real person because one moment i'd talk about playing fighting games for like half a day and the next id talk about plotinus' views on astrology and using that to harass people in cafes in the artsy district

2024-06-23 04:45:57 UTC

met my friend's siblings today. i called his older and younger sister harriet smith and lydia bennet respectively. they were equal parts horrified and shocked that i called them that, but also impressed that i knew the deep austenlore...

2024-06-21 02:10:26 UTC

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@npub1e2s…pj7r ngl that sounds really good! i made a bowl with beef and lentils for dinner.

2024-06-19 06:05:04 UTC

i might have earned the ire of one of my high school friends by asking him if he was latinx

2024-06-18 05:19:38 UTC

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@npub1pgl…js4k you're right. honestly i just hate eating.

2024-06-18 05:19:19 UTC

i hit my forehead into the wall when spinning around on my doorframe and now i have a new scar on my forehead

2024-06-18 00:23:29 UTC

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@npub1pgl…js4k ...honestly, if it helps me hit my nutrition for the day, and isn't *horribly* disgusting, i'd be down to try it.
there is an angel and a demon on my shoulder, and they're two of my closest friends. one is ALSO the type to do this stuff, and the other thinks i have an eating disorder.

2024-06-18 00:16:48 UTC

i wonder if you can eat powdered milk by the spoonful

2024-06-17 23:37:11 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 i have to actively forcefeed go gain muscle. im operating at 3k calories a day, and as someone who naturally doesn't like eating, its actually so hard
pythagoras may have been right about people who do this stuff

2024-06-17 23:29:26 UTC

how do people get fat? gaining weight is actually so hard

2024-06-17 04:06:56 UTC

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tbh we should bring back OG japanese courtship rituals. poetry rizz goes hard.

2024-06-17 04:05:54 UTC

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i think for my apartment next year i want to have three things
-an environment conducive to private tea sessions
-amaretto, palinka, and wine
-bookshelves for my library. preferably sorted. i guess the categories would look something like:
philosophy
heian literature
devotional works
math/cs textbooks
romance novels
miscellaneous classic
miscellaneous other

2024-06-17 03:45:20 UTC

almost out of palinka :konatacry:

2024-06-16 06:21:54 UTC

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also my feet are super smooth rn because apparently having your feet sink into a sandy floor of a creek is a really easy way to exfoliate them

2024-06-14 02:57:07 UTC

I'm not sure why Naruto lives so rent free in my head. It's not a great show (though admittedly some arcs were peak like the Pain arc, that was a good example of classical writing imo). Probably because Naruto Uzumaki still remains a massive inspiration to me in the way I live my life.
I wish I was Orochimaru. I feel like if I was a villain I'd be like him. The idea of mass human experiments for the sake of learning more so I can flex on people goes hard.

2024-06-12 09:06:53 UTC

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@npub1g0u…3vfw i will respond to this soon. posting this as a reminder for myself to respond to this before it gets buried in my notifications AHHHH

2024-06-12 09:04:27 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 no, i just don't don't have a thing for 50 year olds. tsunade would be a SUPER cool person to have as a teacher though.

2024-06-12 07:22:49 UTC

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@npub12kq…f4j5 it's not even because she's... well endowed. i just genuinely think she's super cool.

2024-06-11 22:35:36 UTC

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@npub1mew…gjf7 alcoholic, impulsive, and bad at gambling. shes just like me fr

2024-06-11 05:00:32 UTC

i wish tsunade was real

2024-06-04 22:57:38 UTC

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@npub1pt6…6mf6 TRUE and now i have a cut on my hand : (

2024-06-04 22:42:49 UTC

>practicing my kung fu in my room
>form has a hammer fist
>swing my hand down unaware of my surroundings
>hit my hand on a (dull) pointed end of metal furniture
>shrivel up into a fetal position on a floor in pain
I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE I HATE FURNITURE

2024-06-03 19:23:30 UTC

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@npub1g0u…3vfw hidden-san will u ever read aristotle : )

2024-06-03 19:23:20 UTC

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@npub1g0u…3vfw @npub1lc8…92pf the illiad soothes the inner 11 year old in me that exclusively watched shonen anime

2024-06-03 19:06:17 UTC

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@npub1pgl…js4k TRUE
if i get married i'm having my kids go through textbooks to help me with math modeling. it'll teach them a good work ethic and they'll be grateful when they're older.

2024-06-03 16:52:52 UTC

one of my friends started using her kid to grind in WOW classic
forget bot accounts. child labor accounts are the new meta.

2024-06-03 09:02:22 UTC

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@npub1wwt…ljy2 yup! this is what nuns are.

2024-06-02 21:04:58 UTC

i like arabic chant. something comfy about it, its interesting hearing the Trisagion and stuff chanted in arabic.
there was a cute little toddler playing peekaboo with me in the pews this morning.
https://cawfee.club/media/4a42f9df5e978f15d13eabbb18c0bf81aa5fb5628899a1a9fb5866a6ab18201f.jpeg

2024-05-23 09:31:13 UTC

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@npub1nvd…8vus no but that has happened in the past.
i literally dont know how troons manage to not pass. im not even trying to present as a woman but i get misgendered for one when my hair is down.

2024-05-23 09:17:54 UTC

some zoomer from the local high school thought i was a girl today when i was buying an energy drink at the store :angrynoises: :angrynoises: :angrynoises: :angrynoises: :angrynoises: its not my fault my hair goes all the way down to my lower back (well yes it is but THATS NOT AN INHERENTLY FEMININE TRAIT AHHHHH)
i wonder if on the day of judgement the beggars who we didn't give anything to will come as prosecution witnesses

2024-05-21 23:37:28 UTC

skyr and chocolate milk is yummy

2024-05-11 11:55:40 UTC

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@npub1g0u…3vfw i wonder who the youngest cawfee poster is

2024-01-26 00:05:05 UTC

My new years resolution last year was to get a good grasp on gender. This year, my new years resolution is to learn mentalism.
I'm entering my evil arc.

2024-01-04 00:45:18 UTC

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@npub1swe…wjk4 reading ur posts feels like watching an abuse relationship documentary

2023-09-01 05:21:52 UTC

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@npub1pt6…6mf6
Yup! She's naturally a pretty compassionate person, and her main goal in becoming a doctor is using that big brain of hers to help save lives.

2023-09-01 05:04:53 UTC

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@npub1pt6…6mf6 @npub175d…wrtj @npub1g0u…3vfw knowing about closed sets leads to a closed mind to vice and knowing about open sets leads to an open mind about virtue.
i wonder what this makes clopen sets.

2023-09-01 05:02:05 UTC

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@npub1pt6…6mf6 @npub175d…wrtj @npub1g0u…3vfw i wish i could say its based but homie doesnt get enough sleep. please keep her in ur prayers, hope she can get through this + med school after this.

2023-09-01 04:50:48 UTC

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@npub1g0u…3vfw @npub175d…wrtj
I pinkie promised a nun that I wouldn't be a misogynist, and as childish as it seems, I put an absurdly high value on pinkie promises. With that disclaimer, I feel like women would have a total breakdown if they found out about all the physiognomy stuff.
I'm not saying that every woman needs to be fat or something, but I do think that general society put some pretty bad standards on women and emphasize the wrong things (being dainty and twig-like instead of working out and eating healthy), emphasized in day-to-day life. A lot of women focus solely on being desirable to men, and this desire exists in way too high of a measure even in women who do actually take themselves seriously, as real humans with real hobbies. Women get so focused on reaching societal beauty standards that they end up developing weird neuroses about this.
Given that this weird pressure exists on a societal level, I think introducing my friend to canthal tilt might have gotten to her more than I expected (she brought up a picture of Mother Mary in her apartment that had negative canthal tilt the next day, plausibly as a joke but I'm not sure). I hope it didn't make her neurotic about her own canthal tilt, because I'd feel awful if it did (especially since this spawned out of a joke between me and my roommate about his canthal tilt and her happening to be at our place when this happened).
Fortunately she has too much schoolwork to get further into physiognomy autism.

2023-09-01 04:30:37 UTC

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@npub175d…wrtj @npub1g0u…3vfw
A lot of my irl friends are total normies, and being someone who was terminally online for years, it's a weird feeling having access to arcane knowledge that nobody else knows about. I remember having to explain to one of my friends, this innocent Catholic girl, what canthal tilt was.