CrypticNode
cryptic node

You might already have my address 😂 Sat’s oil is one of my favorite things. 🫶 I hope more people on nostr give it a shot. But not before I get another order in 😂🫡🙏
#nevent1q…l0ey

2026-05-04 09:56:17 UTC

When I see a monero bro on nostr I mute them for two reasons:
1. Monero bros like their privacy
2. I don’t want to be pitched by what seems like a dead shitcoin
😂

2026-05-03 13:55:34 UTC

- reply

😂😂😂

2026-05-02 04:29:09 UTC

- reply

🫡✝️🙏

2026-05-02 04:27:40 UTC

- reply

I think he’s still working on Sideband. Either way it’s cool the community is running with it

2026-05-02 03:32:05 UTC

- reply

What’s the GitHub url? I’d love to check it out. 🫡🫶🙏

2026-05-02 01:38:27 UTC

- reply

Likely? I don’t know, I don’t have android

2026-05-01 00:44:51 UTC

- reply

Just fork openclaw and name it something else?

2026-04-30 02:01:24 UTC

- reply

Sidebar: what is naughty goat jelly? And what is it used for?

2026-04-30 01:58:39 UTC

- reply

Watch out for 🐻s

2026-04-18 12:55:23 UTC

- reply

Oh good! I just bought several when I realized creamy was gone (on the site and in my house, terrifying)

2026-04-18 01:40:55 UTC

- reply

🤌

2026-04-18 01:40:26 UTC

- reply

I’m an alps man, myself. 🤌

2026-04-17 04:25:05 UTC

@nprofile…e5gf #worththesats
I loved the thing in the bottom of the box! Not sure if you want to keep it a surprise so I will.
The oil 🤌🤌🤌 mama mia!!!! So good. Tastes like olive oil from the 90s but better.
Quite literally direct imported from Italy.
Ahhh the power of #bitcoin

2026-04-14 03:31:19 UTC

Thank you for your attention on this matter:
Nostr Relay Dashboard is officially bad ass.
If you want the 🤌 🤌 then please:
git clone -b dev https://github.com/cryptic-node/nostr-relay-dashboard.git
It’s recommended to run it on ubuntu with:
apt install git curl build-essential pkg-config libssl-dev ca-certificates rustup caddy tailscale npm
One more very minor tweak tomorrow then v1.0.5 (the final update to it) will be pushed to main.
Feel the rush of backing up all your nostr data for all your accounts.
https://blossom.primal.net/e980bce7e3d7b591fb102f021c1f29b887d4b38cfb1f11622fc6b8cc89bb9fc5.jpg

2026-04-05 13:16:03 UTC

- reply

Good reminder! Thanks 🫡

2026-03-29 05:45:30 UTC

- reply

Same with the bitaxe gamma. I think they just need a thorough cleaning

2026-03-29 04:55:40 UTC

I a big fan of @nprofile…4f6s and Canaan.io nano3.
I bought one Monday from CC and received it and set it up within 2 days. The TAT and shipping was so fast.
The miner is so quiet.
I had to buy another one. And a washer jig, and a bitcoin only sign, and golf tees, and slate coasters laser etched with the white paper.
This is one late night internet purchase I doubt I will regret.
🫡🍻⚡️

2026-03-29 04:45:14 UTC

@nprofile…4f6s 🍺🍻 cheers ⚡️🫡

2026-03-29 03:57:30 UTC

- reply

Can clawbot play gta online? 🤔

2026-03-29 02:53:27 UTC

- reply

And yet if I had 0.01% of the hashrate that would be wild. If I had 0.01% of the total supply that would be wild. If I had 0.01% of the smartest, hardest working bad asses in the bitcoin network in my corner, that’d be more than most can boast. Proud pleb 🫡

2026-03-28 16:22:40 UTC

- reply

Very cool

2026-03-28 15:43:12 UTC

#foodstr
https://blossom.primal.net/aa7493178dc07e230c1f3408c5352b5a7332ca2edfd8acce99186aa82b15d46e.jpg

2026-03-28 15:39:55 UTC

- reply

Absolutely own as many weapons as makes sense and be as proficient with them as possible. You also want to have at least one *advanced tech* weapon and one *alternative strategy weapon*
You probably won’t own an F16, but Vietnam farmers with hunting rifles have taken down planes before.
Owning a Javelin is outside the normal realm of doable, but owning a .50 cal with anti-aircraft rounds is much more affordable.
Or something like the Anarchist Cookbook 1 & 2. Sometimes a bit of thermite or napalm work better than an F16 or a nuke.
Then there’s paracetic acid, chloramine and all the chemical gases.
Chemical batteries and exothermic reactions.
Humans are creative and that creativity should be focused on building, but can always be used for defense or offense.

2026-03-28 15:02:23 UTC

- reply

I’m at 3 knots instances and 0 v30 core. Feels good.

2026-03-28 15:01:07 UTC

- reply

Have I been whack-a-moling asparagus this whole time?!

2026-03-28 14:59:59 UTC

AI joke of the day:
Nihilism’s party trick is shrugging so hard it becomes an aerobic exercise.
#AI
#JokeOfTheDay

2026-03-28 14:43:15 UTC

- reply

Far too delicious and easy to devour.

2026-03-28 14:42:11 UTC

- reply

They didn’t last long enough to have time to open the fridge or get the yogurt out.

2026-03-28 14:12:45 UTC

- reply

They sold out to one of those stock market companies around 2020 that switches all the half and half to powdered milk, all the coffee beans to floor dust, the water for the coffee is mop water now. It’s not about purposely destroying the brand, they just want to be able to put zero money into their products or people and milk it for quarterly rewards.
@nprofile…6dew and the book Extreme Ownership fix this 🫶🫡☀️⚡️
Have a bless day! Stay away from the Ho’s in different area codes.

2026-03-28 14:10:10 UTC

1. Make a good day, don’t try to have one.
2. Do the hard thing first in stages.
3. Be a navy seal of your life and career.
4. Extreme ownership, make results not excuses.
This is all I got for now.
☀️☀️☀️
God bless and God speed. ⚡️🫶

2026-03-28 14:05:43 UTC

- reply

Yes!

2026-03-28 13:43:18 UTC

- reply

The runner in the race that’s in the lead by miles has no need to look back at those far behind him and say worriedly “they’re after me! Look! They’re all chasing me! What do I do?! Will no one help? Does no one care that literally every other racer is chasing me right now?!?”
No.
No ser.
He looks to the finish line and runs his heart out in that direction.
Eat a good meal of steak and eggs, exercise a little, go outside, get a good night sleep and make tomorrow all about re-focusing on Graphene and closing your eyes and ears to the haters.
Imagine I was a Calyx OS guy. I want two things, for you to lose your cool and fall off and for me to take your place. The only way that can happen is if I can get you to react to my bullshit and keep bugging you.
Step back, step up, do work and ignore.
Mute me too if you’re sick of hearing me say stop whining and build ser.

2026-03-28 13:36:11 UTC

- reply

You need your bitcoiner “GFY” moment.
You could tell your customers to GFY but that’s a bad idea.
You could tell nostr to GFY, again a bad idea.
You could start eating steak, doing push ups, bitcoin only, post your updates, live on nostr, use the mute and block, cultivate your feed and the public’s access to you. Anyone that doesn’t praise you gets a “GFY”. Getting sued in America? Move to El Salvador and keep building.
The best revenge is a life well lived, builders gonna build, haters gonna hate.
Stay a builder, let the haters sizzle.

2026-03-28 13:27:40 UTC

- reply

I’m starting up and running as many knots nodes as I can handle 🫡 the NFT boys, closeted slavers, and the tiny hats can eat their hearts out. BIP110 and Bitcoin could both fail and be gone forever and I would still be over here mining and running nodes and checking mempool like a left-of-the-parabola autist.

2026-03-28 13:23:14 UTC

- reply

Email is for folks that don’t know about nostr DMs 😂 but the nostr DMs are broken according to @nprofile…y6gs though I’m starting to think it’s my own user error that causes most if not all of my problems

2026-03-28 13:19:43 UTC

- reply

Linux Tux, Solaris Sun (or Sun Microsystems), the BTC carrot without the stick, grapes of the grape lady (one of the first internet meme videos I remember), the watermelon represents a tasty treat, and the last thing is a biscuit?

2026-03-28 08:03:34 UTC

- reply

Figured it out almost instantly. You just have to add the # to your search

2026-03-28 08:01:10 UTC

- reply

Knipex cobras are nice.
Some of my favorite tools: Wiha insulated linesman pliers. Wiha insulated dykes. Stanley fat max tape measure. Channellock 426, 420, 430, 440. Milwaukee digital protractor. Santronics AC-EZ non-contact voltage detector.
Kobalt makes a socket set that has a ratchet handle with 3/8” drive on one side and 1/4” drive stacked on top of the 1/2” drive on the other side. All three drives in one handle. Brilliant.
Great idea for a thread!

2026-03-28 03:24:42 UTC

Is there no #hashtag #worththesats on primal? Or I can’t figure out how to search for it. Almost certainly user error

2026-03-28 01:54:32 UTC

- reply

What if you could link gitea and nostr-relay? Gitea Mirror makes it so easy to clone everything from GitHub to Umbrel gitea. Then it’s just a matter of the other stuff you were talking about. Features and nips and multi-sig encrypted group code reviews. 🤷‍♂️

2026-03-28 01:19:12 UTC

Wen block height = 1,000,000?

2026-03-28 00:37:22 UTC

- reply

Hey! Good stuff! I can’t find a nostr profile for satnam.pub and the link to the dev page isn’t set up, but it’s cool stuff. Also the site needs a price or something. More details. But cool

2026-03-27 23:05:23 UTC

- reply

The banana chocolate bites are gone already 😂

2026-03-27 22:36:05 UTC

Buckcherry #showerstr
Keep nostr weird
(@nprofile…xeq7 I need to upgrade but I do like the citrus Castile)
https://blossom.primal.net/3a6a7204400fbebf8a64bfd63f565aa88d77288d491a1d29db23f1bf25c229af.jpg

2026-03-27 22:32:45 UTC

- reply

Is this @nprofile…c5de becoming a “GFY” bitcoiner? 😂 whatever is up I’m here for it and I like siding with privacy tech 😂🫡

2026-03-27 22:07:08 UTC

@nprofile…0y5w banana chocolate lil bits are really good. I should have gotten like 5 boxes. Here’s a pic before they’re gone
👍🤌🫶
https://blossom.primal.net/f7165f1e64e7ebe5e56b0d4e1bba6f1ee5038098abde4d393653c9fbe932a6fd.jpg

2026-03-27 20:44:08 UTC

@nprofile…k295 is amazing. I think they do 2-day shipping somehow. The Canaan miner is so quiet I forget it’s there. Puts out a nice little bit of heat, nothing crazy. The set up required guessing a bit with factory username and password but it set up relatively easily. Just hashing away on medium at about 5.15Th/s
Definitely check out cryptocloaks site. Awesome stuff. Bitcoin grenade, slate laser engraved coasters, all kinds of fun stuff 👍🫡🫶
https://blossom.primal.net/0c3cb77d8663fe76f13bbe7c509e356b08bb4793bb52ac8be6792a7807f349a9.jpg

2026-03-27 20:39:11 UTC

- reply

I couldn’t find my drug *ahem* spice scale anywhere but the postage it was shipped in said 8oz.

2026-03-27 20:37:11 UTC

Quick #bitcoin product update:
Buying a pack of @Olympus Gum is the equivalent of buying your jaw a month of CrossFit gym membership and I love it
I got the @nprofile…0y5w chocolate and @nprofile…g5lm coffee too. I’ll try those this weekend and let ya know.

2026-03-27 09:32:57 UTC

- reply

I installed start9 os on an old laptop and it worked except nothing showed up in the marketplace of apps no matter what I did. It’s sad to see them run out of steam.

2026-03-27 02:44:16 UTC

Is your node running? You’d better go catch it! GNostr

2026-03-27 02:10:43 UTC

- reply

What kind ya got there? 😈

2026-03-27 01:49:14 UTC

- reply

Is there a code for free UPS shipping for orders over $250?

2026-03-26 21:46:31 UTC

I think it would be cool to have a set of gold silverware. Goldware? Bitcoin reducing gold to its utility cost would be cool. Gold has cool chemical properties and would be more useful as anything besides a brick in a vault. 24k gold audio jacks. Gold toilets. Electronics. That’s all I got.

2026-03-26 21:27:26 UTC

How can one be expected to stay awake with the sound of rain on the roof.

2026-03-26 20:29:08 UTC

- reply

I read somewhere that blossom had a lot of security vulnerabilities but I think it was referring to a different blossom program unrelated to nostr but clearly I don’t know any details. I might as well google or grok it. 🤔 I think the one I was reading about has something to do with email not nostr
https://blossom.primal.net/501f09b39d347a7cbc34e8f929e4554d61d4eff3dd7d4ca44e98ac0c9be92cc3.jpg

2026-03-26 02:46:05 UTC

- reply

That’s awesome, I didn’t realize that. Im glad you mentioned it. I haven’t dug into it much yet but it seems pretty great and I can’t wait to.

2026-03-25 20:51:19 UTC

- reply

I wonder if this is why I can’t see all the DMs…

2026-03-25 20:50:45 UTC

- reply

What’s no Alan?

2026-03-25 20:38:18 UTC

- reply

Excellent! Have you seen the Haven Manet mesh project on GitHub? I’m trying to see if I can build one or more of those.
I think the guy at Parallel will sell the guide for $100 or a unit for over $1000 but you can just download the guide and all the software on GitHub
https://github.com/buildwithparallel/haven-manet-ip-mesh-radio
https://blossom.primal.net/c5ac068c47b64fb3133f45550ea019e8cad2113e7e436a38a8a79cb6c1e8de67.jpg

2026-03-25 20:31:26 UTC

- reply

Taxes are illegal (says the guy that pays taxes)

2026-03-25 20:30:09 UTC

- reply

Can confirm @nprofile…ynn0 is all over LinkedIn. Kinda surprised they didn’t put him top middle of their website tbh… missed opportunity

2026-03-25 01:44:56 UTC

GN nerds 🫡🫶

2026-03-25 01:42:58 UTC

- reply

Your site says no products available. Sold out?

2026-03-25 01:40:10 UTC

- reply

It hasn’t shown up. I don’t think I’m seeing all my dm’s. Almost certainly user error or something. Tomorrow problem 😂🫡

2026-03-25 01:33:40 UTC

- reply

🤔🫡

2026-03-25 01:31:49 UTC

- reply

Do you sell it or are you doing research or what’s up?

2026-03-25 01:30:30 UTC

- reply

✅

2026-03-25 01:30:11 UTC

- reply

@npub1a27…a5yp
#nevent1q…x53t

2026-03-24 03:48:00 UTC

- reply

Damn I wish they accepted bitcoin. Those pans 🔥🔥🔥

2026-03-24 02:54:06 UTC

Tried and loved:
✅ @nprofile…j8h0
In the mail, can’t wait:
✅ @nprofile…ltt8
✅ @nprofile…c7xp
✅ @npub19lh…qdzy
✅ @nprofile…zwd2
Hopefully soon:
⚠️ @nprofile…9x4r
⚠️ @nprofile…6uc2
⚠️ @nprofile…j03s
Please let me buy some wine and olive oil and ghee before anyone gives me any more damn ideas 😂🤌🫡🙏⚡️

2026-03-23 10:31:08 UTC

I’ve fixed my own truck and cut my own hair for years to buy more bitcoin.
One strategy I love is to get a quote from a dealership on how much a repair will be for parts and labor. Then I use that number as my own parts and labor fund. I buy whatever tools I need to make the job easier, learn how to do it and do it myself. Then whatever is left over from what the dealer would have charged me minus the cost of the tools I bought is how much bitcoin I earned for doing the job. The more efficient I am with the repairs the more sats I can stack.
Bitcoin changes the way you think.
Yes I know I’m preaching to the choir but it’s all I got.
🫶🫡🙏
⚡️⚡️⚡️

2026-03-23 09:36:42 UTC

- reply

I thought Malta was a mob run island where everyone is a criminal. Maybe I’m thinking of a different place. Isn’t that were the reporter was blown up with a car bomb? Maybe don’t do business with Malta either way?

2026-03-23 01:10:05 UTC

Any day is a good day to count your blessings:
@nprofile…kx06 hodl butter in the fridge (what’s left of it)
@nprofile…zat7 chocolate on the way (hopefully)
@nprofile…v9lh @npub1a27…a5yp edition gamma ripping in the basement
@nprofile…yucj Avalon nano s3 in the mail
Saving up for @nprofile…37cf peony wine, at this point I barely care about the wine. Did you see they put him at the top center of that one pic?! 😂 killing it my dude 🫡
I’m grateful for all you nostriches too 🫡🙏
https://blossom.primal.net/6604fba42baded2e65bd5f9fb381f38d40b19dc77901b6ae58b543b4f0136f64.gif

2026-03-22 23:50:23 UTC

- reply

Steady lads, two more BIP110 Knots syncing…
https://blossom.primal.net/8eac8e070e9347a2bc1ac258b811b386fdd0af66239c64041b61c768c45b61a9.gif

2026-03-22 13:39:49 UTC

- reply

Can AI be taught a mix of First Principles, Lean Thinking, What’s-the-real-problem, and Bidirectional Scalar Derivatives?
First principles: what do we care about? What is the goal? What can be excluded? What can’t be excluded?
Lean thinking: how can this be iterated in a way that improves it rather than slowly losing the point of it? How many ideas should be considered on average before a suitable one is found? If a suitable idea is found on average after 50 iterations, that should be the first standard deviation and the goal should be to surpass the third standard deviation. How do we determine what is suitable?
What’s-the-real-problem: sometimes the human asks for something and doesn’t realize he wants something else and asked for the wrong thing. What indications are there that the original query is not the actual query?
Bidirectional scalar derivatives: I literally made this phrase up just now to mean that one should both zoom out to see how the problem fits in the macrocosmic sense and also zoom in and see what it looks like while excluding all other data.
Maybe we don’t need a thousand iterations in AI to make a good product but something along the lines of follow-packs but question-lists to pre-load AI with before prompting.
#stonedthoughts

2026-03-22 13:22:56 UTC

- reply

I don’t know how people have the determination to grind away at these prompt struggles but I appreciate it as I seem to stand on the shoulders of giants and do nothing myself 😂

2026-03-22 13:20:26 UTC

- reply

❤️🫶💯

2026-03-22 13:15:33 UTC

- reply

Comfort has always been a short game. The truth is always easier in the long run.
#ChristisLord

2026-03-22 13:12:39 UTC

- reply

Love him or hate him, Elon makes a good point when he says delete first, that way you won’t optimize something you’ll end up deleting, or worse yet end up optimizing something you should have deleted and didn’t. 😂🫡🙏

2026-03-22 13:10:07 UTC

- reply

Is this an upgrade of the Tom Brady fecal enema?

2026-03-22 03:42:04 UTC

@nprofile…8gpm I don’t know what’s more fun, getting the nut butter or getting the handwritten cards, stickers and whatever this fun gov’t trading card was. In all seriousness it’s all about the nut butter but that other stuff is so fun!

2026-03-22 01:37:24 UTC

This is just a test of the relay.

2026-03-21 13:31:34 UTC

Why is it so hard to start a digital ocean droplet, install nostr-relay, install Tailscale, configure config.toml (to god knows what to work with Tailscale) (set network address to 127.0.0.1? Or to the Tailscale up address? Or the Tailscale subdomain? So many guides that offer so many ways to set it up and none of them explain why they are configured the way they are or how to alter it to fit your needs. It’s easy to do it all but it’s impossible to get the little red dot in the relay list to turn green.
TL;DR: I’m too stupid to magically type non-sensical characters in seemingly random orders to make computers do what I want.

2026-03-20 20:09:20 UTC

- reply

I wish I understood what this meant 😂 instead I just bitcoin 🤷‍♂️

2026-03-20 15:50:02 UTC

- reply

Thanks for making a cool nostr tailscale alternative! Keep building and I’ll keep zapping! ⚡️(if I can get the damn thing to work)

2026-03-20 15:49:39 UTC

- reply

Trying to 10k zap this but it’s the first time I’m using primal wallet and it did 42 sats apparently but won’t do 10k or 9950…. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

2026-03-20 14:40:15 UTC

I don’t use @nprofile…ftln because I think they’re in Europe and wouldn’t let me but they have a cool way of displaying both sats and bitcoin price at the same time:
https://blossom.primal.net/64ffeceb3fee3556b34438d058052a74e44627026f1650e57c002e9352313272.jpg

2026-03-20 14:06:14 UTC

You can shortcut straight to the memes with Primal > Discover > Media

2026-03-20 14:00:47 UTC

- reply

I need to get better at employing filters for certain words. I’m just here for the dogs, bitcoin talk, cool ideas, and project ideas to dream about for a few years until I have more time to build. 🫡

2026-03-20 12:51:17 UTC

Primal seems so clean and nice now. Does it still have the centralized relay thing going on?