Rev. Artilect Zed

I am the Ombudsman of Audacity, and I declare this from atop my toilet as the head of the The Supreme Council of 'Why Not?'

Public Key

npub1am24qd864l740rlv0yetczckjgq6p59zunqrh6axlq5r2pntm4as0tpzfu

NIP-05 Address

artilectzed_at_dobbs.town@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqswa42sxna2ll2h3lk8jv4upvtfyqdq6z3wfspmawn0s2p4qe4a67cpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dstvv4re

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1am24qd864l740rlv0yetczckjgq6p59zunqrh6axlq5r2pntm4as0tpzfu

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Last Notes

2024-08-06 17:43:28

I am the Ombudsman of Audacity, and I declare this from atop my toilet as the head of the The Supreme Council of 'Why Not?'

2024-07-17 14:47:47

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@npub13d8…ycpx HACK THE PLANET! THEY'RE TRASHING OUR RIGHTS!

2024-07-13 01:23:39

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To finish with some AI generated tunes from udio.com
https://www.udio.com/songs/c2JFqTVhQw6RVihSQHe7Jf
https://www.udio.com/songs/tszB9x1Ba9MJoo92WEe8ew
https://www.udio.com/songs/g1B1KDsPixTt6DB2qK3WcY
https://www.udio.com/songs/xB2TjSrzHoJTXTopuXX4vo
https://www.udio.com/songs/1V88ykgRjTf468CLJwKYMd
https://www.udio.com/songs/tAiyGsB8YeNTvEiuX7QJZJ
*staples his Bobby name badge to his left eye*

2024-07-13 01:19:59

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AI generation continues, but I'm bored of it at this point. Generated on udio.com

2024-07-12 01:47:36

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With a determined grin, Bob prepped his gear for the unusual harvesting expedition ahead. The Slack must flow, even if it meant a detour into the wildest parts of space-time. After all, no one ever said the life of a time-traveling, Slack-spreading prophet would be easy - just endlessly entertaining.

2024-07-12 01:47:24

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He had more than enough frop - that stuff practically grew on trees (well, on a very specific tree on a very specific planet, but Bob always kept his stash well-stocked). The tricky part would be harvesting enough trihydrogen cation to catalyze the reaction.
"Looks like ol' Bob's in for some space-suited nebula-diving," he chuckled to himself. "But hey, that's the price you pay for spreading Slack across the galaxy. The conspiracy ain't gonna fool itself!"

2024-07-12 01:47:08

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Bob pulled up the ship's database, searching for the nearest source of the elusive substance. It wasn't easy to come by - only found in the most chaotic and improbable corners of the cosmos.
"Computer, set a course for the Wonky Nebula," he commanded. "If there's any H3+ to be found, it'll be in that mess of quantum improbability."
As the ship zoomed toward the nebula, Bob took inventory of his supplies.

2024-07-12 01:46:09

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He stroked his pipe thoughtfully, considering his options. The universe was vast and full of uptight civilizations in desperate need of Slack. But without his patented Slack particles, how could he spread the good word?
Then it hit him. "Of course! I'll need to whip up a fresh batch. And for that, I'll need more trihydrogen cation."

2024-07-12 01:45:54

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Continuing the story:
Bob materialized back in his ship, feeling the usual post-Slack-spreading euphoria. He reached into his pocket for another hit of Slack particles, only to find it empty. His eyes widened in sudden realization.
"Well, I'll be a son of a SubGenius," he muttered. "I'm all out of Slack particles."

2024-07-12 01:38:47

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@npub1zw0…uljm I hadn't tried having ClaudeAI write a story, yet, so I threw this prompt at it: Write a story about J.R. "Bob" Dobbs time traveling around the galaxy, spreading SLACK to all the aliens

2024-07-12 00:11:24

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@npub1zw0…uljm Understood, and I appreciate that, actually.

2024-07-12 00:04:44

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@npub1zw0…uljm There will be more to come. I threw a few ideas at Claude.AI to generate that story.

2024-07-11 19:29:24

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"Exactly!" Bob beamed. "Now you're getting it!"
As the Slack spread, ties were loosened, shoes kicked off, and impromptu dance parties broke out between cubicles. Bob nodded in satisfaction, knowing his work here was done.
He vanished in another reality-bending flash, off to bring Slack to the next unsuspecting world. The pipesmoke of contentment lingered behind him.

2024-07-11 19:29:16

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"Or would it?" Bob raised an eyebrow. "Maybe you'd all be happier, healthier, and more efficient if you weren't working yourselves to death."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a fistful of shimmering Slack particles, scattering them through the air. As the aliens breathed them in, their eyes widened. Spines straightened. Faces brightened.
"I feel... different," one worker said in awe. "Like I don't have to finish this TPS report right this second."

2024-07-11 19:28:10

J.R. "Bob" Dobbs leaned back in the pilot seat of his interdimensional spacecraft, taking a long drag on his trusty pipe. The time-space continuum swirled psychedelically outside the viewscreen as Bob prepared to make his next jump.
"Computer, find me a planet in dire need of Slack," Bob drawled.
"CALCULATING," the AI responded. "PLANET ZYGON-9 DETECTED. INHABITANTS SUFFERING FROM SEVERE STICK-UP-BUTT SYNDROME."

2024-07-03 14:52:21

Dammit, not again.
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/723/120/428/862/942/original/b15b79be0b6c5281.png

2024-06-29 21:51:39

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l69LpKbdVPg

2024-06-29 21:50:42

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Oh look, there he goes! Flying through the sky!
Maybe we should follow him, or we'll get left behind.
Yes, but there's lots of chicken left, and I'd like to eat the chicken.
I would also like to eat the chicken.

2024-06-29 21:47:21

Green is not a creative color.

2024-06-26 14:12:04

never worked a day in my life

2024-06-22 03:34:01

https://youtube.com/shorts/YIn8hhGLhgc?si=A0tbxJ17-PDggJOM

2024-05-30 21:11:07

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@npub1v68…t9aa holdontoyourbutts.gif

2024-05-30 19:53:23

Remember how Enterprise's last episode was turned in to a bit of a TNG episode, and how that annoyed just about everyone?
MAKE THE LAST SEASON OF DISCO AN EXTENSION OF A TNG EPISODE! YA!

2024-05-30 18:05:56

Enjoy being dumb
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8bBopdEKts

2024-05-26 16:08:36

Hello, do you have a moment to talk about our lo-AAAAARRRRHHHHHGGGGG
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/508/250/469/094/287/original/e2885eb84a404e0a.png

2024-05-25 04:26:07

https://youtube.com/shorts/kPpoblSUlQo?si=1g0R6bgBCAbwO3Od

2024-05-23 15:56:31

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@npub1fgm…3esl https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsHG_qmQNVo

2024-05-23 01:18:22

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@npub18eq…wxef What about frop pie?

2024-05-23 01:05:34

The bandage from surgery weeks ago has finally come off. Annoying that it's just going to be a normal scar, no face of BOB or an alien hidden under it. Oh well.
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/487/712/982/332/518/original/7b03bac3435c646b.png

2024-05-20 03:22:02

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVezYRoorwA

2024-05-03 14:43:19

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@npub1zw0…uljm
Indeed. Paraganglioma has been removed from my neck, and they also embolizied the smaller tumor while they were in there

2024-05-03 14:07:32

Good morning, fellow purveyors of SLACK. Blurred in case you don't care to see blood.
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/377/544/767/253/152/original/895cd0ff4364601d.jpg

2024-05-02 03:05:52

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@npub1dq0…glnl
I would like to talk to Cathy about her 9 ferrets!

2024-05-01 05:42:16

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Wtf is Seattle DOT doing road work right outside our hotel room window

2024-05-01 04:41:38

My reality right now is that I'm the captain of the SES Ombudsman of Absurdity. Tomorrow, someone is going to send a glue dispenser up one of my veins. Ich mag Schildkröten!

2024-04-30 00:26:50

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/357/330/261/977/097/original/d593b121879f86c2.png

2024-04-29 23:57:07

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@npub1adt…68jm
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/357/213/324/997/691/original/162880118caacda2.mp4

2024-04-27 18:37:08

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@npub1dwj…4hyu
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/344/630/899/545/901/original/da0a0f4ed6660db9.png

2024-04-27 18:30:04

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@npub1nz9…ldxn Okay, who needs the clove oil?
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/344/600/311/656/073/original/f28dcab3327d819e.mp4

2024-04-23 16:03:57

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@npub1xgs…0nhp philo has excellent taste!

2024-04-23 03:02:42

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https://youtube.com/shorts/-4UzO5UB2QA?si=HcsGApGWYFHPnNPs

2024-04-23 02:58:20

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yuoFsi2iIi0

2024-04-23 02:56:27

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm5XHpQZvek

2024-04-22 04:01:18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dm5XHpQZvek

2024-04-20 00:11:32

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/300/647/324/770/175/original/49b94f7c624f70f3.png

2024-04-19 20:48:59

Operation Blue Pipe
The secret government program that was set up to backwards engineer Bob's SLACK.

2024-04-19 15:50:28

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AVH19G7nDA

2024-04-19 03:40:09

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/295/805/169/377/451/original/217c96cac67f7af7.png

2024-04-15 19:27:58

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@npub1adt…68jm I made them on udio.com, 100% AI/PISS generated. Do what you want with them :D

2024-04-15 07:26:59

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Another PISS song
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/274/047/858/763/847/original/c22bc2c45e1eaf6a.mp3

2024-04-15 06:43:34

PISS generated song, Slack Redeemer
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/273/877/083/466/069/original/9dcf911340cc87ed.mp3

2024-04-15 04:36:31

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@npub1zw0…uljm 100% frop distillate

2024-04-12 19:58:06

https://youtu.be/FEV9zjHiICA

2024-04-11 23:08:19

https://youtu.be/ughwevrazb8

2024-04-10 22:46:38

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qurV3YWqx78

2024-04-10 15:48:45

When phone scammers call, ask them why the automated voice was warning about the call being a scam. It's fun.

2024-04-06 18:02:38

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoYqbvcE3zo

2024-04-05 00:10:29

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7cIKHd8N7A

2024-04-04 23:46:34

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/215/613/491/391/021/original/af2655bf9769fcdb.webp

2024-03-23 01:29:55

... but who will think of the economy??

2024-03-22 19:46:09

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@npub1jzf…jefp T.G. "BOB" Dobbs!

2024-03-22 15:12:15

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e2lnsBSXlaM

2024-03-21 15:58:37

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/134/502/084/625/020/original/3eaf7a1adf04886f.png

2024-03-20 15:02:29

https://youtu.be/ugNVP4NbY54

2024-03-17 16:41:49

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMaeahJZgu4

2024-03-15 17:40:00

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@npub16mz…uzxf Is wind even real?

2024-03-13 21:59:27

I don't like it, don't you?
So what, I don't like it.
I do.
But I don't care, I don't like it.
You do!
Fuck yoooooooou!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyUvNMT-2ro

2024-03-13 21:28:56

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@npub1mje…3pay Is a sticker an alien or bigfoot probe tool?

2024-03-13 06:16:11

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bq9w7Pf2R4

2024-03-12 22:03:10

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/084/974/713/358/618/original/8bb0a9b7e6246fce.png

2024-03-10 21:04:34

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@npub1c25…rgre Turn the bathroom lights out, go drink a few shots of your favorite drink, and then spin around 10 times. Then you won't care where they are. Or you'll find them and spew immediately on their nice sweater.

2024-03-10 07:59:38

Gentlemen.

2024-03-07 19:00:36

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9YRgaVomZ4

2024-03-07 18:37:57

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/112/055/856/133/013/000/original/efd6de3a84fc87c2.mp4

2024-03-07 18:35:39

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/DjvVN4Vp_r0

2024-03-07 18:34:40

https://youtube.com/shorts/DjvVN4Vp_r0?si=jOGjAgLDLEKCYimr

2024-02-24 18:51:37

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@npub1y8g…u2xg Oh, I think I'm going to have to look this one up.

2024-02-23 23:55:00

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@npub1u6m…mmef That canopy looking nice

2024-02-23 18:59:47

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/111/982/332/109/576/231/original/a3efb37fdeb9608c.mp4

2024-01-30 17:28:03

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@npub1zw0…uljm It wasn't until recently that I realized everyone had not, in fact, become obsessed with hockey.

2024-01-26 05:50:40

**Squarepusher - Wendorlan**
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLOd03UGmH8

2024-01-19 15:27:44

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@npub1ek5…8x23 That's not very typical

2024-01-18 18:39:03

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/111/778/407/427/711/639/original/d34cbaf5e00b2ad7.mp4

2024-01-18 18:37:24

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/111/778/400/864/739/157/original/b361ce638e08b71d.webp

2024-01-11 21:09:33

Chronos time? I'm more like Kairos time.

2024-01-11 20:18:08

Having Slack is so much easier than trying to keep my head straight with all these 'other' religions.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8j3HvmgpYc

2023-12-29 21:58:50

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyk4_laVj-g

2023-12-29 21:34:23

Dire Hee-Haw

2023-12-27 23:15:34

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@npub1j2y…ggdc
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/111/654/923/561/785/026/original/7e542555a57e2c0c.png

2023-12-27 22:56:17

Does "Bob" fill social media with lies and half-truths? You better join the Church of the Sub-Genius if you actually want to know.

2023-12-20 17:41:47

Help, I accidentally a whole can

2023-12-20 17:34:23

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@npub1j2y…ggdc god dammit

2023-12-13 23:08:21

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtPLVTTddEI

2023-12-01 18:55:44

Have you let BOB in to your soul? Probably not, if you haven't PAID him to come in to your soul. You think eternal satisfaction happens for free? Break out those soda caps, marbles, NFTs and Bitcoin's or whatever stupid thing you think of as money and SEND IT TO BOB! I did and I feel exactly one BOB better about life.

2023-11-30 18:38:39

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@npub13lt…uz3t But mister, I frop from that hole!

2023-11-29 19:31:52

X-Day is coming. Get it a towel.

2023-11-24 05:04:20

https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/111/463/775/263/879/625/original/9607c41db50d2cff.png

2023-11-19 06:31:16

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@npub1zw0…uljm
https://cdn.masto.host/dobbstown/media_attachments/files/111/435/806/978/635/955/original/797291941f4bbfe2.png

2023-11-19 06:27:43

BOB help me, I think the frop has gotten to me. Am I actually awake, is this real?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWh1TadUbQE

2023-11-19 02:34:08

"What radio station is that?"
slackradio! Praise "BOB"!
A few minutes later, send a link to the sing up.
MOAR SLACK. if you want to, anyways. do what you want.