River J. Hopkins

Bestselling #Author of #SometimeAfterMidnight⭐ #Writer 📚 #Editor ✏️ #Musician 🎶 #Disabled ♿ #Gamer 🎮 An #ActualCyborg ⚙ She/Her/Hers ♀️✳ No DMs, please🚫

My latest series: #TheOutcrossedSeries; #IntoTheForgottenForest & #UnderTheWolfMoon

The game I run on here: #OfGhostsAndGods

My one person band: #Pseudonumb

Please send editing queries to river@riverjhopkins.com

My Website: riverjhopkins.com
My Twitch Channel: twitch.tv/river__rabbit
My Instagram: instagram.com/river__rabbit
My TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/river__rabbit

Public Key

npub186penqe3mrutphe2z5fq6m2safvxas32mn8j8h7hzxj8vp0ylx3sk6vxg0

NIP-05 Address

cyborg_writer_at_writing.exchange@momostr.pink

Profile Code

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Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub186penqe3mrutphe2z5fq6m2safvxas32mn8j8h7hzxj8vp0ylx3sk6vxg0

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Published at

2026-09-11T04:51:48Z

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0 Metadata

Event JSON

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Last Notes

2026-08-17 12:28:36 UTC

I got a lot of editing done, but haven't gotten a lot of sleep.

2026-08-16 16:31:28 UTC

I dunno why a mermaid would wanna be human.
There's more ocean than there is land, and many humans are fucking EVIL.

2026-08-16 06:53:23 UTC

I tried to delete all the emails still hiding out in my inbox, but then I saw some of the messages he sent me back in April and just broke down crying.
I keep wondering what I did wrong...but I have to keep reminding myself that it's not my fault when people assume incorrect things about me instead of talking to me directly.
I was VERY direct, so I can't even blame myself for holding anything back.
I have to accept that he was just not the person I thought he was, and he was never my friend.

2026-08-15 09:22:33 UTC

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That sounds horrible. I'm sorry.
I don't think I'll ever actually run into him again unless it's at a convention I didn't know he would be at.

2026-08-15 09:17:27 UTC

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Basically, he just gets the masked version of me. The one where we're strangers again and I don't trust him.

2026-08-15 09:11:32 UTC

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It's still not rage, for me. It's just...trying not to acknowledge they're there or I'd start crying.

2026-08-15 08:40:38 UTC

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It's not rage. I'm heartbroken and sad.

2026-08-15 07:50:13 UTC

If I ever see you again, I will look through you like you're nothing but a ghost.

2026-08-14 12:08:55 UTC

What to expect from me as a friend:
1. I'm fiercely loyal. If you fuck with my people (in a bad way) I will fuck you UP.
2. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'm there for you, no judgement.
3. I will blow your phone up with messages like...all the time. It may not be every day, but it'll be a LOT when it happens. This is because I trust you enough to unleash my words on you.
4. I'm always up for an adventure.
5. I will often think of you and get you little gifties when I can afford to.

2026-08-13 02:03:53 UTC

If I ever did a poetry slam on Twitch, would anyone be interested? I'll totally read your poems as you post them in chat!!

2026-08-12 21:10:51 UTC

I never wanna trust anyone ever again.

2026-08-12 20:26:19 UTC

I hope I never go viral.
I hope I sell books by word of mouth.
I hope my books are so underground that only book punks read them, and they act like it's a special secret.
I hope the wind carries my stories like the sound of the Pied Piper's pipe, drawing in all the weirdos who are the only ones who hear it.
I hope your paperback copies are torn and tattered because you carry them everywhere.
I hope the pages grow on trees like leaves that lead you to other realms when you touch them.

2026-08-10 14:35:11 UTC

I think I'm making up for all the sleep I lost over him this year.
I had no idea how much stress the community was putting on me. The one I was so sorry to lose the other day. Maybe it's a good thing I'm not a part of it anymore.
I actually woke up without anxiety today. Still sad, but there's no knot in my chest anymore.

2026-08-10 04:06:22 UTC

I think I'm actually getting over my writer's block.
Funny how grief and pain will do that.
People keep getting sick and injured and DEAD and just...leaving. Or pushing me away.
This year has been horrible.
Only good things are that I haven't used a cane in a long time now, I've lost a TON of weight, and I have made some friends for life. Especially Halo and Cassie.

2026-08-09 21:17:45 UTC

I think I lost myself for a bit.

2026-08-09 16:39:48 UTC

I dunno. Maybe I DON'T want my heart turning back into a chunk of ice.

2026-08-09 15:01:05 UTC

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Thanks. I appreciate it

2026-08-09 02:47:01 UTC

Can I do an anti-dedication in my next book?
Like a "this is specifically NOT for" someone kinda thing? Like a "fuck you" kinda thing?

2026-08-08 21:57:06 UTC

I am so done with all the mean girl bullshit and the ghosting.
I have lost a place that meant the world to me, and people who I thought were my friends.
My heart is in pieces.

2026-08-07 13:52:10 UTC

The only reason I'm still alive right now is because I know it would kill both my parents if I wasn't.

2026-08-04 03:14:31 UTC

Remember; your face is more accurate the further away from the camera it is.
And angles can completely morph the shape of your face.
This does not help with my body dysmorphia. Lol. I never know what I actually look like.
https://cdn.masto.host/writing/media_attachments/files/117/035/041/159/566/589/original/17d308f2551467dc.jpg
https://cdn.masto.host/writing/media_attachments/files/117/035/041/287/423/998/original/f763599ff615716e.jpg

2026-07-26 15:09:34 UTC

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Thank you!!

2026-07-26 14:59:33 UTC

Eternal space face.
https://cdn.masto.host/writing/media_attachments/files/116/986/866/303/392/615/original/a0a47d19f679f207.jpg

2026-07-02 09:57:47 UTC

I hate myself so much right now.

2026-06-26 20:59:53 UTC

Dreams, you'll be kind to me, won't you?

2026-06-23 19:37:04 UTC

I hate when I'm trying to be productive and the sadness hits me again and all I want to do is retreat into sleep.

2026-06-22 15:03:34 UTC

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I've had my heart broken a lot. It's worse every time.

2026-06-22 14:40:36 UTC

FUCK. Why do I have to start every day crying lately? I want this to STOP. Can't I just turn my emotions off like a fucking Vampire Diaries vampire?

2026-06-20 05:33:37 UTC

You know that feeling when you have an open wound and you keep accidentally reopening it just as it's started to heal?
That is my heart lately.

2026-06-17 12:43:02 UTC

I don't feel comfortable posting here anymore without being judged. Awesome. Lost another safe space. 👍

2026-06-16 17:32:07 UTC

Worked on my book a little.
Still don't want to be alive anymore.

2026-06-14 23:14:53 UTC

Being lonely really fucking sucks.

2026-05-13 00:18:28 UTC

John: Everyone's mean to Matt.
Me: I'm not!
Atticus & John: YES YOU ARE.
John: You tease him all the time.
Atticus: And you're very flirty about it.
Me: Well, the flirting is intentional...the being mean part isn't. 😅
#Bratables

2026-05-06 13:50:54 UTC

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That must have been annoying!! John is doing this to himself, though 😭

2026-05-06 05:11:52 UTC

Why am I the only one concerned about my friend John's health????
He needs an intervention. 1-3 hours of sleep a night IS NOT ENOUGH.

2026-05-04 21:03:27 UTC

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I guess so! LOL

2026-05-04 19:19:47 UTC

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Apparently it is. LOL.
@npub19z5…737w You gave me the Spanish pronunciation 😂

2026-05-04 17:18:59 UTC

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THANK YOU SO MUCH LOL. I need to book a nail appointment, and I didn't wanna sound like a dufus. 🤣

2026-05-04 15:10:37 UTC

How tf do you pronounce "ombre?"
Is it like om-burr, or om-bray?

2026-04-05 22:22:09 UTC

Do people ever treat you suspiciously for being nice?? It's the weirdest fucking thing. I'm a generally happy person, and I try to treat people kindly, because I'd also like to be treated kindly. Why is that suspicious? What am I gonna do, be your best friend? Make you cupcakes on your birthday and soup when you're sick? Send you silly little memes that make me think of you? OOOH. I'M SO SCARY.

2026-03-31 13:56:02 UTC

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We actually haven't done that yet!! I don't know why hahahaha. My character's visions are connected with her tarot card readings. Usually whether she has a vision or not depends on my rolls, and my DM just makes shit up on the spot. I'll have to message them about it!

2026-03-23 13:06:56 UTC

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Right?? The guy I have feelings for has ADHD. I've never felt more understood, and we're not even together (yet lol). 😂

2026-03-09 21:55:19 UTC

If I start doing art commissions, would anyone be interested? These are some examples. I do black and white watercolor pencil and pen drawings.
#Artist #Commissions #ArtCommissions
https://cdn.masto.host/writing/media_attachments/files/116/201/442/136/899/678/original/e30aa82538699fc3.jpg
https://cdn.masto.host/writing/media_attachments/files/116/201/442/157/474/190/original/2285d5ae12367062.jpg
https://cdn.masto.host/writing/media_attachments/files/116/201/442/136/563/527/original/6074f4bba093d258.jpg
https://cdn.masto.host/writing/media_attachments/files/116/201/442/214/863/119/original/ee4900e4315aa0bd.jpg

2026-03-02 09:47:54 UTC

I just want someone to speak my love language.

2026-02-25 05:00:17 UTC

It is my birthday.

2025-11-10 13:37:44 UTC

My dad has cancer.
The doctor doesn't seem to be too worried, so I'm trying not to, either. Not until we know how far along it is.
This year has not been a good one.

2025-10-24 05:12:04 UTC

The number ONE cause of pregnant women's deaths is homicide.
I think that speaks pretty loudly about how much the entire world hates women, and it's infuriating.

2025-10-23 20:07:43 UTC

Anyone else feel like they've switched to a different timeline at least once in their life? Just woke up one morning in the incorrect reality?

2025-09-30 00:32:56 UTC

I'm alive! I'm home! And I'm UPGRADED. 🥳
#CyborgLife #SpinalCordStimulator

2025-09-25 23:02:49 UTC

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Because when you come back refreshed, it might not seem as boring as it did before! You might also think of something exciting to add once you've had a little distance from it.

2025-09-25 23:01:56 UTC

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I get that! I think you should tell your story any way you want. If this process works for you, totally keep it up!! That's amazing. I think companion books are very cool, especially if they overlap like that. As for backstory; are your books chronological? Or can you skip around in time a bit? What about flashbacks?
And back to the problem you're having with boring bits...I understand that, too! Sometimes you have to step away and write something else and come back to it later.

2025-09-18 21:48:22 UTC

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I wonder if you felt that distance because of the distance she kept between herself and her companions. Like, you were feeling what they were feeling as you watched it, but not her. I think that's interesting, because the first time I watched the first few seasons, I only really connected with the Doctor's POV. The next time I went through, I made a point to put myself in the companions' shoes more. It felt like watching an entirely different show!

2025-09-18 21:37:55 UTC

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Yes!! I would love to read those. And yeah, I just think she did such a good job portraying the emotions that came along with the shit she had to go through, and then trying to hide it all from her fam. And the way her seasons were shot was so beautiful. The lighting, alone, was lovely. I also really loved the music!

2025-09-18 21:23:49 UTC

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For sure! I do love his seasons, but they aren't my favorite. And yeah, I don't think there's a Doctor I HATE, but I definitely don't like him as much as the others. Eleven will always be my favorite, I think. Thirteen and Fifteen are kind of tied for second place right now. Then, Twelve, Nine, Fourteen, and Ten, in that order. Lol.

2025-09-18 21:07:33 UTC

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Unpopular Opinion: I always thought Ten was a jerk. He's actually my least favorite of the NuWho Doctors!

2025-09-13 17:12:13 UTC

Do y'all ever feel bad for what you put your characters through?
#Writing #Writer #WritingCommunity #WritersLife #WriterProblems #Author #AuthorProblems #AuthorsLife

2025-09-08 15:58:15 UTC

Anyone else have a form of this??
For me, it's only when there are sharp objects too close to my eyes, or if I'm IMAGINING they're coming too close. Even typing this is hard. I literally just had to stop and squeeze my eyes shut and rub underneath my eyebrows for a moment. And like, even in movies or video games...I just can't. I will have to close my eyes if there are pointies coming at the screen. There are whole areas in WoW I can't fly over, manually.

2025-09-03 23:41:18 UTC

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That's such a beautiful name!! I 🫶 that it also makes a lovely anagram!

2025-08-31 14:07:14 UTC

When I was a kid, I thought the phrase, "Puttin' on the Ritz," was actually, "Put it on a Ritz," and I wondered for a few years why people were singing and dancing about crackers.

2025-08-05 04:02:34 UTC

Moi, my baby brother, and our dad at the lake earlier.
https://cdn.masto.host/writing/media_attachments/files/114/974/149/443/180/671/original/93e2d1c518161957.jpg

2025-07-31 12:26:54 UTC

First time ever on a plane! We take off in like 11 minutes. I'm excited!!

2025-07-18 13:13:36 UTC

The fight against evil never ends.
Be loud.
#Resist.
Persist.

2025-07-15 13:35:04 UTC

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Thank you. It's SO HARD to play nice around him. Like, it takes all my strength not to show my disgust on my face when he's around. Even more to keep it out of my voice. But I do it for my mum's sake. 😭

2025-07-15 12:25:23 UTC

I bought my mum's husband a Father's Day gift and card a while back...but I never gave them to him. The reason being that he told my mum's PCA, Kathy, that they can "be together" after my mum DIES. So, Kathy quit. She was devastated. Showed up at my door, sobbing her heart out. So I don't feel like he deserves the gift and card I got him. Dude is just waiting on my mum to die, and that is SO fucked up. I'm super angry about it. And I'm worried about my mum. She is in Delululand.

2025-07-13 03:42:10 UTC

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Sadly, I'm not surprised. Disgusted, of course...but not at all shocked at the numbers.

2025-07-13 01:22:51 UTC

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I'm an indie author! What do you want to know??

2025-06-02 11:30:43 UTC

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Thank you. So am I! 🥳

2025-06-02 11:30:13 UTC

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Good for you!! Not everyone gets out. I'm so glad you did. 🫶

2025-06-01 19:26:42 UTC

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I haven't spoken to her in years, so she definitely doesn't know. And if she does find out...I wouldn't care what she thinks, anyway.

2025-06-01 15:20:38 UTC

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OOOOOH! I found some!! https://archive.org/details/doctor-who-audio-scripts-main-range

2025-06-01 15:19:00 UTC

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TRUTH. Maybe it's something they haven't thought of that needs to be brought to their attention...*goes looking for contact info*

2025-06-01 15:16:53 UTC

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If someone transcribed them so I could read along as I listen, I totally would!!

2025-06-01 15:14:38 UTC

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I still haven't listened to any of the audio dramas! It's so bad. I just can't pay attention to them. I need to see the words, or I just get distracted and stop listening. I can't do podcasts or audiobooks, either. 😂😭

2025-06-01 14:38:34 UTC

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Smith is my favorite!! Whittaker is second, and Gatwa pushed Troughton out of third place, for me. But I do love them all!

2025-06-01 14:25:59 UTC

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For sure!! He's definitely my third favorite Doctor now.

2025-06-01 13:57:46 UTC

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Right?? I wish he had at least one more season. But I noticed at the end credits they credited Ncuti and Jodie as The Doctor and then just said, "and introducing Billie Piper." She also posted a screenshot of it and wrote, "A rose is a rose is a rose," so I feel like she might be Bad Wolf, not the Doctor! Crossing my fingers that we don't have to wait 2 years to find out. 😂😭

2025-06-01 13:35:14 UTC

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I am SO distraught that Ncuti is gone. I had been thinking during the episode that it would be neat if the Doctor regenerated and no one was expecting it, and then it happened, and I want to take that thought back so badly now. 😭
Really living that Billie is back, though!! I hope she does end up being the 16th Doctor, even though they didn't credit her as such. She'd be so fun!

2025-05-28 15:05:40 UTC

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Don't forget bird poop!! My mum used to work for one of the bigger cigarette companies (I forget which) drying the tobacco. The roof was open there, and birds would come in and shit on the leaves. The company didn't care. Tobacco was tobacco, regardless of the excrement on it. People used to think she was joking, but she never smoked cigarettes because of it, and she told everyone she knew! Just too bad there was no social media back then. She could've blasted them.

2025-05-28 08:58:03 UTC

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Right?? I hate it so much. Sometimes I just get meal replacement drinks just so I don't have to do any of that.

2025-04-29 13:16:08 UTC

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Ugggh. I'm so sorry to hear that you struggled so much, too! That's so awful. And yeah, I do think that's how it was for Goon. He's doing well now! He's married and happy, and he has a TON of good friends who care about him now. Dude literally can't go anywhere without someone stopping him to say hello and give him a hug! 😃

2025-04-28 18:29:49 UTC

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...first times I really realized that men don't really talk about this stuff. And they should!!
He didn't have to be alone with his sadness. Communication and emotional intelligence are not exclusive to the womenfolk.
I think if we all do our part and help others develop these skills, it won't always be such a problem for men to say to each other, "Hey, I have an issue I'd like to talk about."

2025-04-28 18:26:44 UTC

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...Goon hadn't followed us down. I found him sitting at the kitchen table, staring off into nowhere. I sat down and asked if he was OK. Without turning, he said, "No one even thanked me for the food except you, and you didn't even eat. I feel like everyone takes me for granted, and that they only invite me for the free pizza."
I noticed he had tears streaming down his face.
I don't remember what I said to make him feel better, but I do know that he appreciated it. I think it was one of the...

2025-04-28 18:23:51 UTC

Just thinking about the time a guy friend was vulnerable in front of me back in high school.
We were at our friend Jonesie's house, because that was the place we all gathered after school half the time. We were all pretty baked, and our friend Goon showed up with pizzas, like he always did. I thanked him, but I don't like pizza, so I didn't take any. Everyone else plowed through the boxes and went downstairs to Jonesie's room. I came back up after a few because...

2025-04-28 06:07:26 UTC

I'm looking into places to move where I can actually get around using public transportation, and I'm really excited!!

2025-04-17 03:36:42 UTC

These are my social distancing sunglasses.
https://cdn.masto.host/writing/media_attachments/files/114/351/202/064/351/596/original/c9e2bac07eb5b546.jpg

2025-03-28 19:03:20 UTC

In the first version of #UnderTheWolfMoon, I gave a character some growth. When I rewrote it, I took that growth away...because she is an amalgamation of the most horrible girls I ever knew in school, and I don't think it's realistic that she would become a better person.

2025-03-26 04:35:18 UTC

NEVER send your editor your first draft.
Sincerely,
An Author and Editor

2025-03-22 03:11:02 UTC

I'm having a weird time lately.
Not quite feeling myself.
My Uncle's cat died, and he was my buddy for a few years, so that's hit me pretty hard.
And other various things I don't feel like typing because...too much effort.

2025-03-20 03:53:06 UTC

It's a common misconception that "trans" stands for "transgender." What it really stands for is, "TRANSCENDED." 😁🫶

2025-03-04 22:38:07 UTC

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Yeah, the ending was very upsetting. I also hated the Enterprise episode "Cogenitor." Way to bury your theys. I read somewhere that Frakes advocated for Soren to be played by a man.

2025-03-04 19:35:06 UTC

The episode "The Outcast" did not age well. I'm only a few minutes into my rewatch, and I'm already wincing. As a nonbinary woman, this is painful.
#StarTrekTNG

2025-02-19 23:30:40 UTC

Have you ever sprayed a perfume that you love at first but then it starts to turn once it's on your skin? Like why does this fresh cut grass and lemonade scent smell like A & D ointment all of a sudden?? 😭

2025-01-30 15:09:58 UTC

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Right? He's just a swell guy! Lol. Picard is great, too!! TNG was my first foray into Star Trek as a kid. 😃

2025-01-30 03:27:56 UTC

I think the newer Pike is in a tie with Janeway for my favorite Captain.
Who is yours?
#StarTrek

2025-01-22 12:25:35 UTC

When I was in high school, this guy I'd known for years suddenly realized I existed because I was a "hot goth girl" (his words, not mine). I was in a relationship at the time, and also had major social anxiety, so I didn't know how to deter his advances. I told my best friend Andrew how uncomfortable this guy made me, and he said, "Want me to talk to him?" And I almost cried. He told the guy to back off because he knew I couldn't. My bestie was every green flag. I miss him.

2025-01-16 04:22:17 UTC

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OMG what a pain! Literally!! I'm so sorry that happened to you.

2025-01-13 06:21:47 UTC

Goblin King, or punk T'Pol?
#NewProfilePic
https://cdn.masto.host/writing/media_attachments/files/113/819/594/657/859/296/original/b8b78875307f0a6d.jpg

2025-01-07 18:00:35 UTC

I appreciate Vulcans more and more with every Star Trek thing I watch. They're very similar to autistic folks, and they have that almost demisexual thing going on. I see myself in them sometimes.

2024-12-12 19:34:50 UTC

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I've been thinking of getting one, myself!! Do you have an antique one?

2024-11-22 05:01:59 UTC

I'm watching The Legend of Vox Machina, and I half looked away for a second...and out of the corner of my eye, I thought the subtitles read, "[ANIMAL SHARTS]," for a moment. It actually said, "[ANIMAL SNARLS]."
I think I need sleep. 💀