USELESS DOG SHIT TWAT

FUCK HUMANS!

PEASANT SCUM!

kel.audio is dead 💀

NO-AI

#nobridge #nobot

Last Notes

2025-08-16 09:05:53 UTC

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Thankfully this is just a photo, okay, it's a particularly stunning photo of a lovely little baby bird, but I am getting no negative kickback from it at all, so it's fine.
I know what you mean though, I want to make a living, not be famous 🤣
p.s. it's still climbing, just passed 400 likes!

2025-08-16 08:53:36 UTC

Ooohhh!!!!
Erm... morning 🥺
https://files.mastodon.online/media_attachments/files/115/037/593/488/877/522/original/a0367219a67d3f93.png

2025-07-08 18:07:43 UTC

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This sucks so much!
The truth is I have made more than both of you simply because I never fucking bothered in the first place 😆
I sincerely hope you do considerably better after you stop giving these leeches your hard earned!
Great [post - I laughed a lot - at them -not you - thank you🙏

2025-03-18 15:53:35 UTC

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Yes!
I seriously want to see the equivalent of Nuremberg Trials for DWP workers,they are fundamentally doing the exact same things as the nazi's did, torture and persecution of vulnerable people.
No disrespect intended to any historical events - quite the opposite!

2025-01-23 22:52:41 UTC

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You said it publicly... it applies to everyone who reads it... you let go of your control over it when you typed it and pressed publish 🤷

2025-01-23 22:50:18 UTC

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I like it, but as someone for whom none of those attributes apply, that also cuts like a splitting maul through my head right down to my heart and soul.

2024-11-29 19:21:43 UTC

For some reason I decided to make vegetable soup this evening, bought the veggies while I was out, but when I got home and flicked through the soup cook book, I spotted a roasted parsnip and parmesan recipe I know always works out really well!
It takes ages, because you have to roast the parsnips first. I think it is intended as a leftovers recipe, say after a roast dinner.
...but damn it's so good! Worth the hour and a half - 100%
#food

2024-11-24 19:45:53 UTC

w👀t
May I trouble you for a whole 8 seconds of your time?
It might just make your ears happy! 😍
Listen for free and BUY here:
https://kelaudio.bandcamp.com/album/co2
or BOOST 🚀 for good luck and happiness forever 🍀
Favourite quote - "summoned from the alchemy of entropy itself" 🥰
With these beats you are really spoiling us!
Oh yes!! Oh yes! OH YES!!! 🍓
https://files.mastodon.online/media_attachments/files/113/539/624/006/144/048/original/d42225a21ccff928.mp4

2024-11-22 13:41:22 UTC

I made the switch from a camera to a phone camera, because of the old idiom "The best camera is the one you have with you"
It got better and better, and a few years ago reached a point where it was looking really promising.
It's kinda good now, but something has happened to the images that makes them not what I intended. It's like someone else has taken over the art direction and decided how my photos will look for me.
Whomever you are - fuck off!
I am going to have to get a proper camera 🙄

2024-11-22 13:17:24 UTC

Just watched the very first video the promoted and it's this crazy Brazilian doing whacky stuff with percussion!
NO ads!
NO bullshit!
Just some dude making weird noises and talking about his work, I do't see what's not to like 🤷‍♂️
"I encourage people to make their own instruments, sometimes they look a bit stupid, but you can make noises from nature"
https://www.tokyvideo.com/video/solos-the-jazz-sessions-cyro-baptista-full-concert
https://files.mastodon.online/media_attachments/files/113/526/807/622/708/818/original/510a159fce345739.png

2024-11-18 10:30:43 UTC

UGH! URGENT TECH HELP NEEDED!!
I have an (absolutely awesome) work experience thing coming up where i need to be on WhatsApp
I hate all this crap, seriously, I absolutely hate it!
Is the only way to use it without letting Zuckerberg finger me getting another phone?
Or is thee some way I can sandbox it on an iPhone?

2024-09-15 17:18:44 UTC

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Haha - it's okay!! I don't mind really 😀
What happens in two weeks?