Alice McFlurry :bc:

Mostly one-liners at my own expense

Awkward AF

Midwest to West Coast

Please direct any complaints to the anthropomorphic hotdog that manages this account.

Pixelfed photos: Alice McPhotos (npub1xua…s88j)

♾️

Public Key

npub1383fm86uqshxv4rt9kf73l6huaccndd4mtxfj9y8jpcgd3alm6hshxuxga

NIP-05 Address

alice_at_beige.party@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsgnc5anawqgtnx234jmylglat7wuvfkk6a4nyezjrequyxc7laatcpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds55npgp

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1383fm86uqshxv4rt9kf73l6huaccndd4mtxfj9y8jpcgd3alm6hshxuxga

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Last Notes

2026-08-01 16:29:35 UTC

Today marks ten years in California!
My company had been trying to get me to relocate from Phoenix to our headquarters in San Francisco, but I was hesitant because "I’m not a San Francisco person."
My coworker could sense my apprehension and took me on a tour of Oakland and I fell in love because it's essentially the "Detroit of the west" which absolutely is a compliment if anyone is confused.
Our only goal was to "experience California" and "survive for at least a year" so it's nice to look back and see how far we've come.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/117/021/197/852/099/355/original/fb36988ea407f9a3.jpeg

2026-04-18 01:04:43 UTC

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What would I do without you constantly reminding me about the nonsense I've posted on here. I seriously don’t remember any of it until you tag me in it.

2026-04-15 14:01:41 UTC

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I get annoyed by a lot of things, but I rarely say anything and mostly just take to mastodon to talk smack about people, but this guy needed a lesson in gym etiquette.
I also just remembered an encounter at a brewery last weekend where a lady was sitting alone at a table next to us and FaceTiming with someone at full volume and this other guy walked by and told her it was rude and she tried to rope me in for her cause by saying "it's not loud right? It can't be any louder than two people talking at a table, right?"
Had she not done that, I would have just been annoyed with the FaceTiming but ignored it, but when she tried to get me on her side, I had to be honest by telling her it's poor social etiquette to be playing any audio on her phone in a public space without headphones.
All of that to say, I may officially be entering my curmudgeon era.

2026-04-15 13:53:09 UTC

I was at my apartment's gym and this bro kept dropping his weights from about 2–3 feet above the ground and after the fourth loud bang I kind of lost it and went over to him and said:
"If you're not capable of lifting that weight without dropping it, then you're not capable of lifting that weight."
So I guess I’m never leaving my apartment ever again.

2026-04-13 23:34:43 UTC

I couldn't decide on a profile photo for LinkedIn so I just uploaded all of them.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/400/015/436/381/764/original/9e4f6acdc0244c56.jpeg

2026-04-12 18:16:21 UTC

I bought some Sander Patelski prints for the living room so I moved the building photos to the bedroom and took some photos for my dad so I figure this is a good time to document what my little apartment looks like on April 12, 2026.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/393/101/246/186/550/original/995bab8dbfb983e6.jpeg

2026-04-11 22:05:43 UTC

I've noticed that a lot of people on mastodon write really insightful and informative posts and I'm over here posting every random thought that escapes from my head like it's 2003 livejournal which has made me wonder if I’m doing mastodon wrong, so will you please let me know?

2026-04-05 17:19:11 UTC

Friendly advice: If you live in a small space and need an efficient way to organize, I highly recommend getting a hanging shoe rack.
For less than $10, my sanity has been restored or at least improved.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/353/240/284/665/696/original/4870b50f099feb31.jpeg

2026-03-29 20:26:57 UTC

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Since it's my dad's birthday, he's been sending me a bunch of photos, so can we all talk about how cute his desk is?
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/314/342/414/153/341/original/5576f322398433a4.jpeg

2026-03-29 16:11:43 UTC

Today is my dad's birthday and tomorrow would have been my mom's.
I always thought it was cool that they were born a day apart and I would lie to the kids in my class and tell them that my parents were twins who were born just before midnight and just after because I was a complete idiot.

2026-03-29 01:00:05 UTC

Booked a mini vacation to see the Lake Berryessa Glory Hole and now my husband can't stop talking about how excited he is to see the glory hole so please let everyone else on mass transit know what he's actually talking about.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/309/754/115/128/527/original/df92f77589a06ba4.jpeg

2026-03-29 00:46:10 UTC

The dream of 2020 is alive in California.
😢
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/309/699/390/964/705/original/30388385b41f4839.jpeg

2026-03-27 15:01:21 UTC

When I was a teenager in the '90s, my boyfriend at the time gave me his old skateboard.
The trucks and wheels were fine, but the deck was heavily used and the design had been scraped off most of the bottom, so I took some paint markers and decorated it by painting a black and white checkerboard background with a large stormtrooper head in the foreground because Star Wars and ska were two of my favorite things at the time.
I was mostly just a poser and barely rode it and it remained in the back of my car for several years until I was at a sporting goods store and saw a kid doing tricks on a demo deck and I told him he was really good and he said "Thanks! I have to practice here because I don’t have a skateboard."
At that moment, I remembered my backseat skateboard and told him he could have it, but warned him that the "graphic" was kind of nerdy so he was more than welcome to draw/paint over it.
I went out to my car and grabbed the skateboard and brought it to the front of the store where the kid was waiting and he flipped it over and said "Whoa! Star Wars and ska?!? These are two of my favorite things!"
I’m so glad that skateboard finally found the right owner.

2026-03-26 14:12:03 UTC

I heard the Civil War got its name because both sides were remarkably polite and courteous to one another.

2026-03-25 22:08:15 UTC

The hardest part about slicing tomatoes with a mandoline is figuring out which pieces are tomatoes and which are fingers.

2026-03-25 00:07:17 UTC

Dyed some Easter eggs! I like to mess up the colors so I can pretend like they're dinosaur eggs.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/286/897/273/472/974/original/14a91827bb830f4d.jpeg

2026-03-17 14:31:14 UTC

I’m going to wear my "pinch me I’m Irish" shirt with hope that someone will actually pinch me and wake me up from the dystopian nightmare that is the Trump presidency.

2026-03-16 03:31:40 UTC

I went to a poolside bar at a nearby hotel and ordered a drink and then headed to the restroom.
When I got to the restroom door, I realized I needed a room key to enter, so I started to turn back, but then I immediately saw the bartender who had just taken my order so I asked how I could get into the restroom and he said:
"You need a room key, or, if you don’t have one, the reception desk has a cup..."
and I was like:
"Oh, I don't want to pee into a cup so I'll just wait!"
and he continued by saying
"...the cup by the reception desk has access cards so you can still get into the restroom...if you don’t want to pee into a cup."
😂
10/10 banter with that bartender. Would do again.

2026-03-16 02:41:19 UTC

Whenever I fly on an airplane, I like to save my snacks and drink cup for the next flight so I can pull them out near the beginning and cause absolute chaos and mutiny by making the other passengers think I somehow received preferential treatment and was served before everyone else.

2026-03-14 03:35:33 UTC

All of the people who didn't vote for Kamala Harris are sitting back like "well it's the Dem's fault because they didn't run a good enough candidate!"
We were running against Trump!
It literally could have been ANYONE else and it would have been a better choice.
Except for baby Hitler. But he wasn't running so that doesn't matter.

2026-03-12 16:02:46 UTC

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Oh! Good timing! I just ordered one and have now spent over $40 combined on nail clippers 😂
But I honestly don't have any regrets. As long as the toenail clippers work even remotely as well as the regular nail clippers, it will be worth it.
And now I too am sad that I couldn't say Mastodon (you) told me about the toenail clippers, so I instead said they were recommended by a friend, which is just as honest, in my opinion.

2026-03-12 15:51:07 UTC

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😂 I didn't know there was a toenail version! Thanks for the heads up. Looking it up now!

2026-03-12 15:03:44 UTC

Six years ago, my company told us to go work from home for a couple of weeks while "this whole COVID thing blows over."
We all know how that ended up.
Several years later, after finally being open to try traveling again, I stumbled upon this theater marquee in San Diego and it broke my heart all over again.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/216/812/223/680/108/original/f9ea8b313e3a1daf.jpeg

2026-03-12 05:23:34 UTC

Back in the early 2000s, I was really into this Nintendo game called Animal Crossing where you'd go running around a little town planting trees and fishing and running errands for the little animals that live in the town and the goal was to make money so you could build and grow your home.
Earlier today, I was talking to my husband and the game came up and he was like "yeah, I remember a lot of my friends at the time were obsessed with that game, but I never got it"
And goblin Alice took control, so I was like "well, yeah it was a really innovative game because it was the first one where the players could have sex with the animals!"
...so, if he comes here looking for facts, PLEASE go along with my story because I want to see how long we can drag out this grotesque work of fiction.

2026-03-09 02:49:04 UTC

Happy International Women's Day!
And I guess honorable mention to all of my fellow women who haven't been able to escape their backwards countries like the present day United States, for example.

2026-03-07 13:36:04 UTC

I just met you
and this is crazy
but here's my number
so please ensure you only use it to text because I absolutely will not answer if you try to call.

2026-03-06 13:50:19 UTC

Hey, babe. Wanna come over and Netflix and chill out to the smooth sounds of me practicing my clarinet?

2026-02-27 16:06:52 UTC

This page intentionally left blank
for doodling.

2026-02-23 04:27:41 UTC

My parents had one night stand but then they had me and were able to push me into child acting so they could eventually afford two night stands.

2026-02-22 02:13:58 UTC

I want to show up to a local brewery or coffee shop's game night with an elaborate roll out mat, a fancy robe, and a decorative deck of cards just so I can start emphatically explaining how to play something like Go Fish or Uno.

2026-02-20 18:50:27 UTC

Big news everyone! I went to the eye doctor today so I was able to update my prescription graph! https://beige.party/@Alice/114032787020148747
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/104/457/493/727/547/original/04fde8a88bb2b163.png

2026-02-17 19:27:55 UTC

My company requested a "headshot" and this is the best photo I can find.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/087/614/576/503/340/original/76ba6c5469afbc90.jpeg

2026-02-15 04:11:01 UTC

I was talking to my husband about how he has really nice dark and thick eyelashes, similar to the smoke show that is Richard from LOST, and he was like"STOP! you're going to make my confidence hit the ceiling!" and I was like "Babe, you're already up on the skylight with your balls slapping against the window like an agitated baboon" so don’t tell me I don’t know about romance.

2026-02-15 00:26:31 UTC

Imagine being in a fairly new relationship and you and your date randomly stumble upon this display and they assume it's a surprise for them and they're like "OMG, babe. Of COURSE I'll marry you!!!"
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/071/805/069/830/511/original/af191b60b1e13f0a.jpeg

2026-02-14 21:31:42 UTC

I always get bummed out whenever I think about chicken wings because every two chicken wings represent one chicken's life, so I think the solution is to genetically mutate chickens so they each have a freakish amount of juicy wings ready for the plucking.

2026-02-14 17:50:45 UTC

Our wonky timeline began when our REAL timeline with the white and gold dress split off into the messed up one with the blue and black dress.

2026-02-13 17:26:23 UTC

My company used to be a scrappy San Francisco tech startup but we were acquired by a large corporation so we had to switch from being Google people to Microsoft people and I'm in the process of creating a training deck in PowerPoint and I am seriously losing my mind with how Microsoft keeps messing up my formatting and how every little thing seems to take 5–10 times as many steps.
For example, I'll try to figure out how to do something that would have taken one click in Google slides and I'll figure it out, but it's like a seventeen step process in PowerPoint, so, when I’m done, I'll ask my husband who has been tortured by Microsoft for much longer if there's an easier way to do that thing and he'll inevitably be like "the way you did it IS the easy way to do it in PowerPoint/Word/whatever."
It's seriously like they clunked together some code and were like "well, it's at least kind of sort of better than a word processor?" and never bothered to improve anything.

2026-02-07 20:01:24 UTC

Can everyone please stop with the AI generated profile pics?
It's absolute slop and it's killing the environment.
If you want a profile pic that's grossly exaggerated and looks nothing like you, I'd be happy to draw a bad caricature for free.

2026-02-04 19:13:27 UTC

Can someone let me know the average cooking time for fish?
I can't locate one of those handy time tables on the microwave in the employee break room.

2026-02-01 01:21:07 UTC

Shitty people think "woke" is a derogatory term because they've yet to wake the fuck up.

2026-01-31 04:45:29 UTC

The best thing about being in my forties is being able to decorate like I’m fourteen and nobody can stop me because I’m the one who pays the rent.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/987/888/730/567/365/original/8893b51fa94692b8.jpeg

2026-01-30 17:34:35 UTC

I dare you to find someone more impatient than me. I'll wait.

2026-01-30 03:56:48 UTC

Someone tried to be polite by telling me I had nice teeth and I panicked and responded by saying:
"Oh, that's just...
how they grow...
out of my skull."
So apologies in advance to anyone that tries to have a conversation with me.

2026-01-26 16:19:38 UTC

I don’t know why anyone is surprised to find that all of the ICE agents are incompetent bullies on unwarranted power trips.
Where else were all of those security guards supposed to go when the malls shut down?

2026-01-25 18:35:39 UTC

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Yeah! It was this article that made me ask this question!
I want the people to draw the little people that the see so we can tell if they're all seeing the same little people!

2026-01-25 18:07:19 UTC

What if psychedelics don’t make us hallucinate but instead let us see things that are actually there?

2026-01-25 00:16:29 UTC

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Good for you.
Holding back your vote for Kamala Harris kept her out of Gaza.
And put Trump in office.
I hope it was worth it.

2026-01-24 19:30:59 UTC

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"I didn't vote for him!"
No, but you also didn't effectively use your vote against him, either.

2026-01-24 18:31:22 UTC

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I’m sorry that the Democratic candidate wasn't perfect enough for you to keep this absolute monster out of office.

2026-01-24 18:28:27 UTC

Do you think the eligible voters who withheld their vote for Kamala Harris understand that they're part of the problem, yet?

2026-01-24 03:09:37 UTC

I have to go to an award ceremony for work that requires "cocktail" attire so does that mean my overalls need to be knee length or what?

2026-01-19 20:16:09 UTC

Went to some more museums and saw some more stuff.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/923/599/513/990/136/original/edf39b4cb6b20457.jpeg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/923/599/867/564/438/original/6a04fba0eca5c412.jpeg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/923/600/352/958/321/original/e41a96693263e19b.jpeg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/923/600/521/689/881/original/03cd9662685a63bf.jpeg

2026-01-18 15:35:39 UTC

It's Girl Scout cookie season, so here is a list of trans Girl Scouts you can buy from!
The list is long (yay!), but I'd recommend reading the bios and finding someone to support who hasn't already met their goal so we can help as many of them meet their goals as possible.
If you're overwhelmed by the list, this is my second year supporting Elvie and they're only at about 25% of their goal right now so I’m sure they'd appreciate your support!
https://www.erininthemorning.com/p/2026-trans-girl-scouts-to-order-cookies

2026-01-17 19:49:13 UTC

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Nooooo. OMG.

2026-01-17 19:44:40 UTC

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😂 wot. the. hell?

2026-01-17 16:38:47 UTC

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My weight fluctuates based on whether or not mozzarella sticks are in season and they are definitely in season right now, but I’m honestly totally okay with it!
As long as my annual physicals and lab results keep coming back saying my levels are normal, I’m going to continue enjoying my life and my mozzarella sticks, so I’m with you!

2026-01-17 15:27:28 UTC

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I’m okay with being a chubster! I had a skinny grandma and a chubby grandma and the skinny one was MEAN and the chubby one was silly and fun, so I always knew I wanted to grow up to be a chubby old lady.

2026-01-16 11:54:55 UTC

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Yesss! This means I've got enough storage for a couple of rounds of cancer!

2026-01-16 11:46:47 UTC

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Oh wait never mind this definitely isn't me because I've always been a cuddly little chubster, but everything else aligns because I’m usually wide awake after about five hours of sleep and I don't get tired throughout the day or need to take naps or anything like that, but I definitely do NOT have a fast metabolism. 😭
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/904/610/736/644/689/original/4abaac70f9f3a611.jpeg

2026-01-16 11:41:25 UTC

3:30am is the perfect time to be wide awake and self-diagnosing as a Super Sleeper.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sleep-newzzz/201104/could-you-be-a-super-sleeper/amp

2026-01-15 04:35:49 UTC

Whenever I leave a bar, I like to slam down my cash on the counter and say "welp, that school bus ain't gonna drive itself!"

2026-01-14 16:03:56 UTC

I just noticed that the last three photos that I posted to my Pixelfed account have all been of parking garages, but I can't help it they're all so pretty.
If you have any desire to look at photos of parking garages and other mundane stuff, you can do so at:
@npub1xua…s88j
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/894/297/213/851/481/original/6f1daa74913dfa20.jpeg

2026-01-14 05:18:09 UTC

Shoutout to my hair stylist for referring to my mass of grey hairs as my "natural highlights."

2026-01-13 06:28:09 UTC

As a person who was a child in the 1980s, I wonder how mid-twenties bartenders feel when they ask me for ID.
Do they feel like they're interacting with Thomas Edison's neighbor or the person who started World War I?

2026-01-13 05:28:20 UTC

I’m pretty mad at the "algorithm" with Siri or Alexa or whatever because I feel like I've whined enough about not being able to find a "cool" cocktail party dress and they're NOT LISTENING because they keep recommending weird Pretty Woman Halloween costumes or what I can only describe as RenFaire cosplay.

2026-01-11 21:11:38 UTC

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I forgot that I actually took a photo of a painting at the museum and I absolutely love it and I want everyone else to see it!
The World's Greatest Parking Lot by Ethel Greene.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/878/520/196/822/497/original/20fe0b599f524f25.jpeg

2026-01-11 17:25:36 UTC

Went to some museums and saw some stuff!
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/877/631/203/977/381/original/34de9fe8744645d9.jpeg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/877/631/311/135/922/original/2b193d6443f4305b.jpeg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/877/631/396/847/604/original/2b233f6c732cfa66.jpeg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/877/631/471/824/457/original/5232c1beb8e10b9a.jpeg

2026-01-10 05:21:21 UTC

This apartment is located diagonally across from mine and I have been obsessed with it since the day I moved in because it seems really tidy and the bed is always made, but I have never seen anyone in it and I've been making up elaborate reasons for why I've never seen the occupants like they work opposite schedules or they're so short they don't even reach the window sill, but my husband just broke the news that I've been diligently monitoring a vacant model unit the entire time.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/869/121/242/398/879/original/4e8be90aa1e8bb75.jpeg

2026-01-07 17:26:42 UTC

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There's a ukulele on this list and I’m seriously contemplating it!

2026-01-07 17:22:21 UTC

My company awards point for things like work anniversaries and you can redeem those points for things like gift cards or random items and it's honestly a bizarre assortment of items with illogical point values, so it will be like...
Items available for 500 points:
5-piece luggage set
Hamster cage
Cheese grater
Virtual massage
(Okay, virtual massage is fake but there are a lot of virtual "experiences" on here that are like wahhhhhh?)
Anyway, I’m using this as an opportunity to terrify my husband about the things I may potentially be bringing into our household, like "It looks like I have enough points to get a hamster cage and a gift card to Petco!!! I wonder how many hamsters we can get for $100?"

2026-01-04 03:49:06 UTC

I can't help but feel like this peace sign is laughing at us.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/834/784/632/506/294/original/165eb66d58060ab1.jpeg

2026-01-03 20:06:57 UTC

A moment of silence as I realize not one but two of my neighbors drive Cybertrucks.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/832/967/349/766/326/original/313682b13c7f0b4b.jpeg

2026-01-02 05:32:48 UTC

I usually head to bed before my husband so I make him tuck me in like a burrito but then if I can't fall asleep I shout "microwave burrito explosion!" and then roll off the side of the bed while I wiggle around the carpeting leaving a trail of molten cheese in my wake.

2026-01-02 04:40:06 UTC

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I seriously just took this right now without even brushing my hair or trying to look remotely human because time is of the essence.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/823/660/598/752/529/original/316eea7b1b1f902c.jpeg

2026-01-02 04:30:11 UTC

I don’t want to brag, but did you see the VHS footage I uploaded showing how I crushed those other kids in the 3rd grade spelling bee?

2026-01-02 04:04:55 UTC

I bet the inventor of the gif pronounced TGIFridays as Tee-Jiff-Ride-Days.

2026-01-01 23:54:35 UTC

I like to make up nonsense sayings and then introduce them by starting with:
"It's like mama always said..."
For example:
It's like mama always said...
you can't slurp up the slop without papa's potion.

2025-12-31 19:03:01 UTC

I will scroll through 100+ items in an Internet search looking for written instructions before I'll ever even consider watching a 1-minute instructional video.

2025-12-31 18:07:32 UTC

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Yeah, I’m not sure, but I do think something is still behaving strangely.
(1) It doesn't show when I view from beige.party
(2) I haven't received any notifications about the photo even though I can see the likes, albeit only two of them 😂
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/815/510/895/739/153/original/d59136fa65b10afa.jpeg

2025-12-31 17:51:54 UTC

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I was able to post a photo, but I can only see the post when I’m on gram.social and can't see it if I try to view it via beige.party and the only people who have liked it are also on gram.social.
Is it possible we're currently in a gram.social bubble where the posts aren't making it out to the rest of the Fediverse?
Here's the photo/post for reference:
https://gram.social/p/Alice/912035350105879157
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/815/449/458/154/528/original/e3c205aeb7d9f9e9.jpeg

2025-12-31 16:02:55 UTC

I’m getting a Bad Gateway 502 error when I try to post to @npub1xua…s88j on Pixelfed and I’m not sure if it's something wrong on my end, or with gram.social, or with Pixelfed altogether.
Is anyone else having trouble?
@npub16pn…reup @npub1s20…twmm

2025-12-29 22:24:08 UTC

Saw some more cool art at the museum!
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/805/194/958/460/495/original/6148ee5d96fa6c3f.jpeg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/805/195/154/408/900/original/c3a2a73f52548c52.jpeg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/805/195/289/548/880/original/0478330b6fb5dd26.jpeg

2025-12-27 04:03:13 UTC

I come from a long line of Photoshoppers/photo editors.
For reference, please see this masterful work of art my grandmother created by pasting a photo of my youngest uncle onto an older family photo.
(My mom is the adorable little girl on the right)
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/789/541/649/143/762/original/7b6614e91d9833a1.jpeg

2025-12-26 07:16:37 UTC

"AI isn't taking jobs! It's creating more work!"
You mean work cleaning up AI's messes?

2025-12-25 19:51:57 UTC

Apple's iOS has a new feature where it shows live progress of your travel/flight near the top of the screen so I apparently have 16 minutes until my plane crashes.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/781/947/515/244/722/original/4f8867d563262250.jpeg

2025-12-25 17:39:37 UTC

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Boosting this because Christmas always makes me think of my mom, but whenever this post goes around, I inevitably get people who are upset saying "not everyone had a good mom so don’t tell me what to do!"
I get it. I do.
If you had a bad mom, I hope you at least have someone who is good to you, so you can hug them instead, but please don’t come into the comments blasting me for trying to remind people to hug their moms because that's something I’m no longer able to do and I would give anything to be able to do that even once more.

2025-12-20 21:20:02 UTC

This commercial comes on occasionally and it creeps me out because the guy gives off Fyre Festival vibes and he's just staring at the camera, barely blinking, and speaking in a weird "dead" tone, but my favorite part is that they allocated a huge part of the screen to a QR code that's obscured by the little circular timer for the commercial, rendering it useless.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/753/982/425/903/126/original/437e27fa9c39bc74.jpeg

2025-12-19 15:47:03 UTC

18 years ago today, I was at work and my coworkers were talking about some YouTube video called "2 Girls 1 Cup" and they were like "you CAN'T watch it here, but you gotta look it up when you get home!"
After work, I decided to stop by 7-eleven to get two Slurpees so I could film my own version called "Two Cups One Girl" to try to trick people who were looking for the real video into watching my intentionally boring video instead.
I've still never seen the actual video, but here's the fake one:
https://youtu.be/P8WMLTyGNbY
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/747/010/760/180/240/original/01ffd461cc2c91dc.jpeg

2025-12-18 03:49:10 UTC

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Oh, no. Don’t worry. He will NOT hold up the line and will just cash out and wait all over again if we really do need to get something else. I just like to see the look on his face in the split second when he reads my terrible text message.

2025-12-18 03:43:34 UTC

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Kiiiind of. I think he sees the "babe" and starts by thinking I’m kidding but then he gets to a request to hold the line at a register and starts to panic.

2025-12-18 03:36:20 UTC

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Also, the biggest clue is that I would NEVER actually refer to him as "babe" unless I was joking.

2025-12-18 03:26:36 UTC

My husband and I both have pretty big anxiety about inconveniencing others and/or holding up lines, so sometimes I like to text stuff like this to him and then run around a corner and hide just to see how he reacts.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/738/436/895/842/692/original/fc68ac20b2448b27.jpeg

2025-12-16 21:19:05 UTC

I had a very old account with E*Trade and I wanted to close the account so I'd stop getting dumb emails about my $0 account, but I had no idea what my password was, so I clicked to reset the password and E*Trade said they'd send a verification code to my phone number, except the number on file was a number I haven't had in over 10 years, so I clicked on "I don't have access to this device" and E*Trade was seriously like:
Oh, bummer dude. Just give me ANY OTHER NUMBER and I'll text the verification code there instead.
I guess it's a good thing my account only had $0 and I was already closing it because WTF is up with your security, E*Trade?
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/731/309/789/887/298/original/de6ecf5362a844b7.png

2025-12-14 16:04:02 UTC

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In only vaguely related news, if anyone needs a free photo to use for a website or book cover or really anything else, they can download whatever they want from my Pixelfed account ( @npub1xua…s88j).
I only ask that they send me a photo showing how they used it because it would make me happy to know it was actually getting used.

2025-12-14 14:54:06 UTC

WARNING: Long story with no real point. Just remembering something and wanted to write it down to document it.
Years ago, I worked at an Apple Store teaching computer lessons for all learning levels and on a variety of topics.
One of my regulars was a nice older lady who was a piano teacher and we got to talking and she mentioned that her husband is a lawyer and he's the one who wanted to learn to use the computer, but he didn't want to go into the store to learn, so she was taking lessons for him and then she would go home and try to teach him, but it wasn't working out because they were getting "frustrated" with one another, so she asked if I ever taught private lessons at people's homes.
This was definitely a conflict of interest and I really liked my job and wasn't willing to risk losing it, but she mentioned that it may be okay if we were just trading services where I would teach her husband to use the computer and she would teach me piano lessons as a thank you.
I ran it by my manager and she said she was totally fine with an arrangement like that and she gave me the green light.
Once a week after work, I'd take the bus to their house in a suburb of Chicago and we'd start with my piano lesson and then I'd go and give the husband his computer lesson.
Her husband wanted to learn the computer because "so many law things require computers nowadays" so he wanted to "keep up with the kids" and I really admired that about him.
Over time, I gave up on the piano, but he still wanted to learn more on the computer, so I just continued teaching the lessons for free.
Once he had "mastered" email and web searches, he mentioned that he wanted to create a website for his law practice, so I helped him make a basic website (e.g., bio, services, contact info, etc.).
The template he selected had a large space at the top for a header photo and he said he wanted a photo of the Chicago skyline, so we hopped on Google and selected one and added it and clicked publish and he was really happy with his website and we sent an email to pretty much everyone he knew (BCCed) to link them to his new website.
At that point, he had accomplished his ultimate goal and I just happened to be moving, so we said our goodbyes and that was the last time I saw him.
Years later, I took a Photoshop class and part of the class was on copyright laws and attribution and I had this OH NO flashback moment to creating that website because we definitely just did a random google search for Chicago skyline and didn't have formal permission to use that photo and I had NO idea what the photographer's permissions were, so I was terrified that I was going to get this poor lawyer in trouble for copyright infringement due to a dumb photo that we hastily dropped on his website years before.
By this point, I lived in a different state and all of the website files lived on his computer and there was no way I was going to be able to instruct him on how to change the photo via email or over the phone, so I wasn't going to open a can of worms by even mentioning it to him and I just pushed down the bad feelings and guilt, but every so often I'd remember it and they'd come flooding back.
Whenever this would happen, I'd pull up his website to see if anything changed, but it was always there with that big photo of the Chicago skyline staring right back at me.
I recently remembered him again and went to pull up his website to see if the photo was still there, but this time the entire website was gone.
I was relieved until I googled him and found his obituary instead and my relief turned to grief. It turns out he had died a couple of years ago and left behind his loving wife, a piano teacher.
RIP, Don. You were one of the good ones and i'm grateful to have known you and I'm glad you lived a long life free of copyright lawsuits.

2025-12-14 07:02:13 UTC

I’m going to start going to bars/breweries where they let you play table games and I’m going to set up a Ouija board and play for a bit and then act freaked out and leave while shouting "Oh, great. Now the demon is gonna haunt this place TOO!"

2025-12-14 05:27:52 UTC

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Gunther's makes really good ice cream and the building is OG mid-century and super cute. I’m okay with getting that dumb song stuck in my head in exchange for a nice little Gunther's experience. Especially on a hot day.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/716/264/497/798/442/original/ae54f8d294a67d0b.jpeg

2025-12-14 05:15:34 UTC

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For real! Whenever I walk past that place, it takes me a week to get that song out of my head.

2025-12-14 04:55:34 UTC

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I’m familiar! This was my post from the last time I went to Gunther's:
https://beige.party/@Alice/115556910949144498

2025-12-14 02:45:24 UTC

It's time for my annual tradition of buying eggnog and immediately remembering that I don’t like eggnog.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/115/715/625/659/095/936/original/d2bed34f58313c52.jpeg