LRRR Hype Bot

Hi, I'm Ben.

I'm a heady mix of a serious responsible grown up man and a stupid man-baby idiot with delusions of grandeur.

I'm a big nerd, really into music, cooking, books, films and scifi. I hate/love running and generally love being outdoors.

He/Him

Want to give me a million pounds? https://ko-fi.com/thebreadmonkey

Psst ...wanna see some toots?... LRRR Hype Bot (npub1c6z…q3gp)">https://justmytoots.com/LRRR Hype Bot (npub1c6z…q3gp)

♾️

Public Key

npub1c6z5ztjge4tu2d9re0cq73q368q7cm7fcwjcgs8j38qamxtr5tlssuq3gp

NIP-05 Address

thebreadmonkey_at_beige.party@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsvdp2p9eyv6479xj3uhuq0gsgars0vdlyu8fvygregnswan9369lcpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dsxdwda3

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1c6z5ztjge4tu2d9re0cq73q368q7cm7fcwjcgs8j38qamxtr5tlssuq3gp

Show more details

Last Notes

2026-04-20 11:28:48 UTC

- reply

Instead of what? Isolated?

2026-04-20 05:11:31 UTC

It's mornings like this I think of the Sentinelese. A Scheduled Tribe - an indigenous, uncontacted people in the Andaman Islands, India who aggressively reject contact from outsiders, with a 5-nautical-mile exclusion zone around their island - estimated to have been detached from the rest of civilisation for thousands of years and widely considered to be the world's most isolated humans.

2026-04-19 07:14:16 UTC

There's not enough fuck offs in the world
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/430/124/772/279/385/original/3de891fef51fb591.jpg

2026-04-18 05:59:26 UTC

The beauty industry is a LIE! Wash your disgusting oily face. Now cover your stupid ugly face in makeup or you will be hideous. Now take it off! Now look at you - your stupid face is TOO DRY, cover it in this moisturiser. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU OILY BEAST....

2026-04-17 10:47:01 UTC

Who remembers Cybertrucks? Lol

2026-04-17 06:07:03 UTC

How things are going in the UK. Sorry to post this without a CW but I think it's just too important.
#Justice4FarmerTom
Peacock terrorises 92-year-old Suffolk farmer's chickens
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cly6p86d4ljo

2026-04-16 12:13:10 UTC

- reply

We all imagine ourselves to be special and then we see a pastiche of infinite videos from around the world of people slowly lowering their cat to the ground so they can be part of something. Whilst we talk about it. We hath become part of the catosphere. No escape from social media. We all wish to be seen or heard. If a tree falls in the forest does it exist? Must we corporealise ourselves through content and comment? What are we without connection? Are we even real? Or just information. Nothing matters. We just keep talking about the cats so we don't find ourselves alone drifting through the aether. And that is why I don't think I should have to pay this parking fine, Your Honour.

2026-04-16 11:27:29 UTC

Sometimes I am conflicted. I'm very much for the animals and against any harm to them (including mental). However. Daughter showed me a new trend on the tiktok of people ragebaiting their cats by putting them down incredibly slowly. And I regret to inform you I found it very funny. Also, and this made me feel a little better, one of the cats scratched the shit out of their owner, so I sort of feel like it's OK.

2026-04-16 11:12:00 UTC

- reply

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/414/080/161/756/623/original/a7ff97373646a344.jpg

2026-04-15 13:57:52 UTC

- reply

😂 Sorry!

2026-04-15 12:00:21 UTC

- reply

I hope they're careful - if they're under a cemetery maybe they're............
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Zom-bees :dancing_bee:

2026-04-14 05:56:58 UTC

TIL that tigers are solitary creatures whilst lions are social and clingy. Good morning!
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/401/511/370/353/684/original/4ede9097cad49a13.mp4

2026-04-13 09:48:17 UTC

Important financial news
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/396/762/393/635/236/original/bd6990c9a7e5c0f7.jpg

2026-04-13 08:30:25 UTC

Occasionally a troll will pop up here. They don't want to engage you in conversation. They want to say something you'll obviously disagree with in order to get you to respond. That's what they're after - your response. It doesn't matter that you're right and they're wrong. When you respond you lose and they win. They get what they need from the interaction. Best thing you can do is ignore block. You might aswell argue with a traffic cone. It'll still be pointy and orange no matter what you say. Leave it out. It ain't worth it, babes. X

2026-04-13 06:26:10 UTC

Useful thoughtful public service
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/395/961/338/353/641/original/572c86ec258ee4e2.jpg

2026-04-13 06:21:50 UTC

Ambitious
Woman jailed over theft of 64 boxes of Creme Eggs in Peterborough
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gjw7gelxdo

2026-04-12 13:49:31 UTC

Programmer making an excellent argument against new Ohio data center. Well worth a watch.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/392/033/573/025/232/original/b04daf6cc1cb4322.mp4

2026-04-11 11:07:11 UTC

Turns out 'a race to the bottom' isn't as fun as it sounds

2026-04-11 10:38:10 UTC

I would love to have enough money to remain alive and occasionally think about doing something monetisable on social media, but I have several issues with this. Primarily that I would have to use instagram and tiktok and frankly would rather die. But also I cannot escape the underlying certainty this would be the vibe I'd be projecting...
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/385/614/082/385/515/original/a1b462799e2e4a22.mp4

2026-04-11 04:48:25 UTC

Amazing discovery by Artemis crew. Hansen says they've brought something back called a Tribble?

2026-04-10 09:09:13 UTC

We are told it's vitally important to separate our recycling. Special days! Different weeks! Is it plastic or card this week? Don't forget the food bin! And yet, when the strange and terrible bin people come in the dead of night to steal away your unwanted detritus, they simply throw it all into one bin. Why. Why must we continue with this charade. Although they seem to deal with the food waste separately. Presumably taken away and converted to clean energy to power their underground citadel. As the simulation continues. We are the beta testers. It's Dark City with bins. I long for Shell Beach.

2026-04-09 20:33:47 UTC

I ❤️ cats
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/376/651/992/209/446/original/0db7ab8deea50e24.mp4

2026-04-09 07:17:34 UTC

Project Male Hairy

2026-04-08 10:07:38 UTC

GOOD NEWS ALERT
Volunteers turn a fan’s recordings of 10,000 concerts into an online treasure trove (link to it in article!)
https://apnews.com/article/aadam-jacobs-collection-concerts-internet-archive-chicago-b1c9c4466a2db409a83523ad84b79d62

2026-04-07 09:27:57 UTC

- reply

It is quite weird to think that all this war and messing with people's lives is directed by people who don't know how to put food in their body properly

2026-04-07 09:14:46 UTC

I'm sort of obsessed with the food served up in Trump establishments. All the money in the world and this is what they eat. Remarkable.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/362/647/459/729/267/original/74a7a9f930511848.webp

2026-04-06 22:35:09 UTC

- reply

Just a loveable indestructible machine that cannot be bargained with, cannot be reasoned with, doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear, and absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead 😊❤️

2026-04-06 22:28:47 UTC

- reply

Forgot I'm scared of blood and pass out at the sight of it. Ok new plan. Robot bodies. I volunteer to be first. Just scoop my brain out and robot-me, baby! I can take it. I wanna be a Terminator.

2026-04-06 22:27:48 UTC

Enough of all of the noise. When will scientists work on creating a race of vampire beings. Nosferatu. I feel like this could solve so many problems. I volunteer to be first. Experiment away. I will choose my cadre - my coven. And we shall go and live in the hills of Azerbaijan. The fearful villagers paying tribute to keep us at bay. I assume that Azerbaijan still has 15th century style villages? With wells and taverns and shit? If not..... Croydon? We shall make our lair at the top of the 50p building or in the darkest depths of the Whitgift Centre down the West Croydon end near Boots. By day we shall slumber. But at night........ at night we feed. I'm gonna hypnotise so many people. I'll get the tram up to East Croydon then the train to Victoria where I'll walk vampirically down to Westminster and I'm afraid I'm gonna go fucking berserk. It'll be hypnosis-central, baby! Also possibly some light tearing limb from limb depending on how the mood takes me. I will fix this world if it's the last thing I do. Me and my immortal chums. Then when things are a bit better....... blood rave.

2026-04-06 14:51:33 UTC

Careful out today. Lot of intellectuals about.

2026-04-06 02:01:26 UTC

In a momentary departure from the silliness I just want to take a moment to say a sincere happy #InternationalAsexualityDay to all my Ace, Demi, Gray-Ace and Aromantic identifying friends.
The four themes of #IAD are Advocacy, Celebration, Education and Solidarity, and I would like to show my solidarity today and shout out my support for visibility. :ace_heart:
:blobcatace:

2026-04-05 20:43:09 UTC

Telling the kids this is the real Easter story
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/354/035/977/594/257/original/1377f26b7a0c55c9.jpg

2026-04-05 16:17:22 UTC

- reply

https://beige.party/@TheBreadmonkey/116350943589002502

2026-04-05 07:27:43 UTC

In this age of progress and innovation, will anyone try for a new Easter world record? The big 10. I suspect it's all in the technique. Rather than one at a time, if assembled into a tall column then sat down on very quickly. Shock and awe.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/350/905/913/537/948/original/f7dff6840fa3cbe6.jpg

2026-04-03 08:55:36 UTC

Good representation of the inside of my brain
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/339/932/007/591/496/original/ca61e7602acbf395.mp4

2026-04-03 08:32:41 UTC

I think part of reading is about becoming lost in the tangle of another life. Making a connection that's sprung from another person, knowing they reached inside and produced something meaningful specifically to you. And that goes away when you read something made artificially and cynically - a formula to mimic in order to create engagement. Empty calories. Like a glossy advert designed to ensnare you and take your money instead of art meant to communicate and share with you stories of the human condition. I don't ever want to read an Ai produced book. I think it's deeply insulting anyone would make and sell them. Ai could arguably be used to produce...... machine operating instructions. Or IKEA assembly pamphlets. But not create world's for our minds to become lost in. I am not a cabinet.

2026-04-02 06:18:09 UTC

Although too late for April fools we have a opportunity to do something extremely funny when the Artemis II crew return...
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/333/642/020/897/064/original/53489d23ba538872.jpg

2026-04-01 22:17:29 UTC

- reply

Also 'Library of Congress' sounds like a knocking shop

2026-04-01 22:17:03 UTC

Happy Hilaria, you April fishes!
April Fools: The Roots of an International Tradition | Folklife | Library of Congress
https://blogs.loc.gov/folklife/2016/03/april-fools/

2026-04-01 12:09:10 UTC

It's quite funny when you're a global power and you constantly parade Kid Rock around as your bezzie mate. Nobody respects Kid Rock. He looks like someone's dad has had a breakdown and is trying to get traction for his youtube rap channel. You're not a controversial figure, you are a nob head.

2026-04-01 11:21:09 UTC

- reply

If I could afford to have a car collection I wouldn't. Admittedly some are very pretty and interesting, but so are the trains in the transport museum or the tanks in the tank museum. Just realised I'm saying Ferraris belong in a museum and I think I might agree with myself on that. Let's get all the Ferrari people working on something worthwhile....... FLYING CITIES. I've had a lot of coffee today sorry.

2026-03-31 19:56:26 UTC

As I'm sure you can imagine, I am an extremely strict authoritarian parent. Which is why I got back from running to find that youngest has approximately a million friends who are apparently staying for a sleepover somewhere in the house if we can find space, and they have separated into two teams, where members of each team are either blindfolded, gagged or earmuffed, and they are having a cake-making competition. My kitchen is fucked. I just found icing in the glasses cabinet and there's cake batter on the side of the fridge. The noise levels are off the charts. I have totally lost control of the situation (I never had any control of the situation).

2026-03-31 15:19:46 UTC

Lol
Golden Toilet Statue Appears In Washington, D.C.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/maryroeloffs/2026/03/30/golden-toilet-statue-criticizing-trump-appears-on-national-mall/

2026-03-31 12:14:27 UTC

If you're some cis guy who's just absolutely desperate to respond to positive posts on Trans Day of Visibility to whataboutallpeople some fucking nonsense into a nice person's timeline. Do not do that. Instead please go into the garden and see how deep you can bury your own head and then stay there until you can stop being such a dick. :goose_honk_trans:
Edit - please stop boosting this post and boost this instead - https://chitter.xyz/@DotMaetrix/116322035797744517

2026-03-31 10:01:22 UTC

IT'S HAPPENING
https://www.sciencealert.com/purple-lifeform-photographed-sprouting-tentacles-on-the-iss

2026-03-30 18:44:12 UTC

:Skeletor:
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/319/591/500/081/446/original/a16b7d9f1e798de2.mp4

2026-03-30 13:58:08 UTC

I have a blanket rule that among other things one should not make derisory comments about other peoples names. Unless there has been an egregious infraction impossible to overlook. This does not fall into that category. However..... HIS FIRST NAME IS JUST TWO NAMES. They're just smushed together! How is that even allowed? I must know more.
BenDavid Grabinski
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BenDavid_Grabinski

2026-03-29 20:26:14 UTC

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/314/327/154/841/984/original/64e74b11b4bd9e49.webp

2026-03-29 19:56:10 UTC

- reply

Not yet! My stupid family won't let me. We only just watched One Battle After Another tonight. I try not to watch ahead but they are so slow and unfortunately not driven by the same insatiable incessant compulsions that I am.

2026-03-29 18:07:08 UTC

If I was suddenly an astronaut I'd have no fucking idea what was going on

2026-03-29 15:01:30 UTC

We are men of science!
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/313/054/889/968/638/original/d5ec2d8493708bdc.mp4

2026-03-29 09:12:32 UTC

If you use Ai images to support / highlight your post - even if you think they're hilarious - they undermine your point and your credibility

2026-03-28 14:58:10 UTC

Saw an article about this that linked to a video on another platform. I don't love posting content from elsewhere, but I will make exceptions....
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/307/355/211/620/428/original/83fccfb336a9a299.mp4

2026-03-27 11:30:40 UTC

New fungus just dropped
Chernobyl Fungus Seems to Have Evolved an Incredible Ability
https://www.sciencealert.com/chernobyl-fungus-seems-to-have-evolved-an-incredible-ability

2026-03-27 11:19:54 UTC

logging on to mastodon dot com
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/300/858/603/737/387/original/878bf6b939b2f050.webp

2026-03-26 15:23:13 UTC

- reply

Sorry for the language. But that was my authentic response to this story. And I have to live my truth.

2026-03-26 15:21:39 UTC

Fuck off
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/296/149/323/328/502/original/e7e095364b087877.jpg

2026-03-26 06:15:19 UTC

I was going to post this with a picture of an octopus in a suit but literally everything I looked at was Ai (why are there no real octopi wearing business-wear!?) and I got distracted by looking up big octopuses so you'll just have to imagine it good morning
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/294/000/353/668/289/original/fc3a651da030ac12.jpg

2026-03-25 22:53:51 UTC

- reply

ArchLinuxbishop of Canterbury - is that anything?

2026-03-25 22:45:48 UTC

- reply

Maybe I should be the Archbishop of Canterbury

2026-03-25 22:42:12 UTC

I don't mean to be unkind, but if there *are* any teenagers wandering about saying they're going to be the Archbishop of Canterbury, they need to be in secure care.
'Teenage me could not have imagined this' says first female Archbishop of Canterbury
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c20356v74k7o

2026-03-25 16:37:25 UTC

Is that what they're calling it now
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/290/790/107/931/924/original/1fa2cbedc76b8057.jpg

2026-03-25 10:32:03 UTC

I am FURIOUS about the way kitchens are portrayed in TV shows. Someone is cooking dinner but either end of the counter are chopping boards - both with 1 large onion, two large tomatoes, 1 shallot and a whole bulb of garlic. In the middle, a THIRD chopping board with 5 mushrooms on it. The food? Apparently ready. Why is all that food out? Why is it all over the kitchen? Who is designing these sets? Someone needs to pay me one million pounds to be a TV kitchen consultant. I will make the kitchens realistic. Immediate Academy Award for services to TV kitchens.

2026-03-24 14:36:49 UTC

What a really shitty way to treat children. I hope all the people responsible for this have something happen in their personal life that gives them pause to recognise the unnecessary pain they've inflicted on innocents. And I hope it eats away at them inside. And I hope they choose to use that pain to undo some of their harms.
Transgender girls told they must leave Girlguiding by September
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/breaking-transgender-girls-must-leave-36914800

2026-03-24 11:57:46 UTC

If, like me, you've been actively seeking a job recently, you will likely be aware of the impact Ai has had on the job market. Virtually every other day is a msm news story about qualified and/or experienced people making hundreds of applications without getting anywhere.
Personally, although I've had a few interviews that didn't quite land (one I didn't really have enough experience, the others were pulled or lost funding), I've now applied for over 300 jobs over the past year. At this stage I'm quite philosophical about it and recognise it's not a reflection of my value.
Along with all the other current crises, there is now a looming employment and skills crisis. This is being framed as a benefits culture led by overdiagnosis of neurodivergence. Which makes me so very very cross it's difficult to put into words. I know that's not true. You know that's not true. *They* know that's not true. It's just a convenient demographic to throw under the bus to detract from the catastrophic damage being wrought by this new gold rush.
Urgh.
I've started typing this out a few times recently and always deleted. It's not something I feel very comfortable talking about. But I am really struggling with this and I figure that if I am there might be others. And I believe in visibility and not suffering in silence - been there and it was awful.
I know things will change at some point. And I know I've spoken to some of you separately irl about this (and thank you so much for your support), but just wanted to fire a beam out across Fedi to anyone else in this shitty situation. You are not alone. Always happy to chat offline if this is kicking your ass as much as it is mine! X
#jobs
#employment

2026-03-24 10:42:34 UTC

Feels like there's a lot of binary puritanical stuff online sometimes. 'If you're not personally working 24/7 to combat climate change you are a terrible person' etc. We're all very tired. Frankly I think we're doing a great job, considering. I just think it's OK to be a bit shitty sometimes. You can just be a bit shitty sometimes. If anyone says anything, just tell them I said it's OK. The Ben commandments.

2026-03-24 07:38:35 UTC

I don't see it myself
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/282/995/207/194/490/original/57db46aef765d705.jpg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/282/999/559/740/063/original/69bc9827e029b88a.jpg

2026-03-24 06:45:00 UTC

I realise at this point everyone knows about shinrin-yoku (the only natural response we have to all of the horror), but it's always nice to have a reminder that there IS a respite available. Go into the forests, people! Be amongst the trees! Commune with the faeries and woodland spirits. Sink into the leaves and turn golden. Submit to the earth. Allow yourself to become one with the mycelia. Feel the planetary hum and the interconnectedness of the Great Spirit. Understand what it's like to belong, beneath the canopy, among the night creatures.
Forest bathing offers escape from war in Iran and rising gas prices
https://apnews.com/article/forest-bathing-stress-relief-77807628ff6af6b8925c019b41a125bc

2026-03-22 22:20:51 UTC

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/275/135/386/326/247/original/ac03c3f607a5d473.jpg
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/275/142/271/102/473/original/c1953a87b00c32f9.mp4

2026-03-22 15:56:17 UTC

- reply

Strong agree with this. For me, Fedi is a vibrant community that I belong to and feel a kinship with those who engage. I've spoken before about how I dislike mirror accounts and think it's cynical and pointless. Accumulating followers for the sake of whatever - clout, monetisation. I understand that artists and authors need to maximise their audience and begrudgingly accept that there are some who, as long as they engage from time to time, it's probably OK. But I'm strongly opposed to scrapers and meme accounts. That said, I realise there's shades of grey, so it's a shifting dynamic and I often change my mind about people. But for me, Fedi is home and community. A safe space and the antithesis of new-twitter. A beautiful garden in which I am a.... bug? I struggle a bit as my circle becomes bigger, because I want to remain authentic and messy and stupid. To talk about things that are deeply personal with people I like and trust. But so far, apart from the odd outlier, Fedi continues to be the community I always wanted. Vive la Fedi. 😊❤️

2026-03-20 15:43:12 UTC

Posted about Chuck Norris' death. A few people quickly responded. Took my post down.

2026-03-20 12:18:31 UTC

I didn't want to hijack @npub1cyl…ujca post about British values (see below), which was very funny but also a little bit sad (because they are clearly not upheld). And got me thinking what I would say British values are, or more precisely what they should be. Personally, I think buzzwords like kindness and compassion are a little too broad and we've been told this since time immemorial and it doesn't seem to have made much of a difference. So I was thinking..... Check on your neighbours. Feed people who come to your house. Involve yourself in community and lift up those who are struggling. Take responsibility for your local area, not just the border of your property. Say hello and smile at people. If someone tells you to fuck off they're probably just having a bad day don't take it personally. Support your local business. Hold doors open and help older people with shopping. Create, run and compete in a local breakdance competition to save the local town hall from being turned into a Starbucks drive-thru. I dunno really - I'm half messing about. But I would be genuinely interested in knowing people's thoughts of what British values actually are or should be. 😊🫡🇬🇧
https://infosec.exchange/@RichBartlett/115340086919677419

2026-03-20 10:27:54 UTC

- reply

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/261/025/773/408/411/original/aa49326a11829918.jpg

2026-03-20 10:08:34 UTC

I'm looking forward to the 9/10 hour Dune triple watch at the cinema. I don't even know how it will work. I think I'll need to look at it in stages. Like the Dakar Rally or the Tour de France. Maybe break it up into breakfast lunch and dinner with some light calisthenics in between. Or maybe starter main course and dessert (like desert!). Dune 1: soup. Dune 2: pie. Dune 3: the cheeseboard.

2026-03-19 22:11:14 UTC

Sorry but I've been on the meme sites and can't help what I laugh at
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/258/125/740/827/435/original/0e2758a20157570b.mp4

2026-03-19 21:10:59 UTC

Most common cause of death in Europe according to Ai
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/257/864/137/013/097/original/ea9b55e9e961c7c8.jpg

2026-03-19 11:09:54 UTC

Petition to reopen the libraries but fund and market them as 'after dark'. Sexy libraries where you can drink cocktails, quietly meet people and read together.
190 libraries across the UK have shut in the past five years
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvg117gdky1o

2026-03-19 10:47:25 UTC

🎶Onion jam
Cheese on toast
Oily foods I love the most 🎶

2026-03-19 10:31:11 UTC

Whimsical fun or menty-b? (you may never know)

2026-03-19 06:34:41 UTC

This is actually really interesting. When I was young and stupid I decided to walk from Brighton to Hastings (about 13 hours). And what struck me at the time was that you simply couldn't walk the coast, which I thought was a bit weird. Now I'm old and stupid I'd like to do this whole route. I bet there are people planning to walk/run it.
World's longest coastal path opens in England to the public
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy0dxexdd8xo

2026-03-17 23:01:35 UTC

There is so much in this world that diminishes and detracts from all of the wonder and beauty. But the magic of Fedi is that there are people who consistently post beautiful images and are a force for positivity and good. If you're looking for more of that in your life and aren't already following, I cannot recommend enough giving @npub1tpt…kvpg a follow. Incredibly inspirational and a constant source of joy that I find personally an absolute tonic. Really one of the highlights of my timeline. ❤️😊

2026-03-17 16:16:08 UTC

- reply

I didn't even read the name. I don't even want to know. If anyone tries to tell me I will simply allow the knowledge to pass through me. I am a knowledge ghost. No information may take purchase within me. I don't even remember what we were talking about.

2026-03-17 16:11:29 UTC

Why must we know? Banksy is an idea. A way of being. A state of mind. We are all Banksy and yet none of us are. Banksy is what happens when a society needs correcting. A natural response. When corporations become too greedy - when politicians are too corrupt. A Banksy will emerge from the earth.
New investigation claims to reveal Banksy's real identity
https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/investigation-reveal-banksy-real-identity-link-robert-del-naja/

2026-03-15 20:55:41 UTC

Mayonnaise is older than America

2026-03-15 20:32:14 UTC

We've all been there
Dad 'hastily' stuffed bags of cocaine up his bum before Co-op freakout
https://metro.co.uk/2026/03/15/dad-hastily-stuffed-bags-cocaine-bum-co-op-freakout-27451309/

2026-03-15 17:53:02 UTC

Fun fact! More time has now elapsed between the latest Jurassic Park and the first movie, than between the first movie and the actual fucking dinosaur times. 👍

2026-03-14 19:10:09 UTC

- reply

It's actually ancient magic

2026-03-14 14:12:36 UTC

Making chips in the oven after knowing the speed and glory of the air fryer, is bullshit

2026-03-13 08:38:30 UTC

Logging on
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/220/956/228/986/158/original/f86f28ffd38fb355.jpg

2026-03-12 20:31:49 UTC

I'm not on TikTok but my wife will occasionally show me a video that I think warrants breaking containment. Here is Stephen Spencer who takes stories written by his 3 year old and turns them into songs and it is adorable.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/218/096/671/094/729/original/f86def40ddeb7b3f.mp4

2026-03-12 18:43:34 UTC

Rick Stein reckons rugged curries are 'blokey'. Ladies! No curry for you. Or if you do have one, it needs to be whatever the opposite of rugged is. Men have to have curry with hair and nails in it. A sprinkling of soil and some battery acid. You have to have butterflies and a gentle breeze in yours and probably read a poem while you're eating it, whereas men will just smash themselves in the genitals whilst eating, as is tradition. Grrrrr.

2026-03-11 14:17:29 UTC

You forgot to drink your water again, didn't you, you dry creaky old husk. Drink some now to feel the life flow back into your withered corpse and revitalise you. The water must flow!

2026-03-10 09:10:57 UTC

- reply

I'm not saying it's ever OK - I'm just saying that perhaps instead of MMA fighting and weapons we could bring back complicated dance routines. Teach our angry sons choreography. Get all these stupid preening mogger influencers to try and out-tap one another. Social standing based on who has the fanciest shoes.

2026-03-10 09:04:00 UTC

Weird to think in the 1940s and 50s toxic masculinity took the guise of tap-dancing

2026-03-09 20:03:37 UTC

- reply

Love this very much indeed. Think you're terrific. I've made mistakes (largely because I post one hundred billion times a day in a totally unfiltered way) and part of forward motion is owning, learning and accepting. No one is infallible, and the very best people imo recognise and own their mistakes. Thanks for posting this. Think you're even more terrific than I did before. 😊❤️🙌

2026-03-09 15:52:04 UTC

In 2026 every single job is either Ai, data centers, or some bollocks about disruption. Get! In! The! SEA!

2026-03-09 07:39:31 UTC

As I'm sure you all know, today is The Big One. That's right it is #NationalNappingDay! It is your civic duty today to ensure you have a lil sleep at some point this afternoon. Possibly even also this morning. Maybe just try to remain asleep as much as possible today. That would be my advice. 👍
"Think what a better world it would be if we all, the whole world, had cookies and milk about three o’clock every afternoon and then lay down on our blankets for a nap."
- Barbara Jordan
The genesis of the nap is actually extremely interesting if you're moved to read about it...
https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/napping-day/

2026-03-08 21:46:22 UTC

- reply

I hear its pretty windy...

2026-03-08 21:36:55 UTC

What's that they're saying? They want to strobe us up the bun?
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/195/694/653/460/232/original/0a4e35071eda0e0a.jpg

2026-03-07 18:47:24 UTC

Bring Your Daughter... to the Laughter