TayFoNay, Pet Detective

“We’re at DEFCON fuck”

Clinical Psychologist. Academic Maleficent. Former NIH-funded Associate Professor at a fancy Midwest university. Future fry cook on Venus.

Analog childhood, digital adulthood. Navigating the great enshittification. Lots of swearing and gallows humor.

Part of the great November 2022 Twitter migration.

Posts auto-delete at 2 weeks.

:cubs: :bears:

Under his eye. She/Her.
Slava Ukraini 🇺🇦

#teamOrca

Location: Chicago :chicago:, sometimes Kauai 🌺
Nazi punching level: Shotokan 🟤 1st Kyu
Profile pic: Me in the sun, wearing sunglasses and drinking a pint of beer
Languages: 🇺🇸 🇳🇴 🇪🇸

Public Key

npub1ranzkkjqqk4szpvxwynzht08a6s4lt63ahype8z4wdxf9v6kys6q0pdnlr

NIP-05 Address

tayfonay_at_beige.party@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsp7e3ttfqqt2cpqkr8zf3t4hn7ag2l4ag7mjqun32hxnyjkdtzgdqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0dshydrw2

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

saltivka.org

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1ranzkkjqqk4szpvxwynzht08a6s4lt63ahype8z4wdxf9v6kys6q0pdnlr

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Published at

2026-04-26T05:38:58Z

Kind type

0 Metadata

Event JSON

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Last Notes

2026-01-19 17:56:50 UTC

Lotta vagina talk on the Beige TL today

2025-11-19 12:29:35 UTC

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I think I just admitted something that will get me kicked out of the fediverse.

2025-09-17 17:12:41 UTC

Sometimes as a therapist you need to do this deep work exploring things and what-have-yous, and sometimes you need to tell an elderly person you've been working with for 15 years that when they die you'll absolutely visit their grave from time to time and pour out some chardonnay.

2025-08-11 16:24:27 UTC

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holy shit, COSPLAYING A PERSONALITY DISORDER. As a clinical psychologist, deep deep DEEP appreciation for the most accurate take of LinkedIn I've ever seen 😂

2025-08-03 16:32:41 UTC

While boarding a flight from Chicago to LA:
Flight attendant: I LOVE your [punch a nazi] hat.
Me: thank you…I promise not to cause any trouble on the flight should there be any Nazis
FA: well we’d clearly have to put self-defense on the report

2025-07-21 17:59:39 UTC

Edwin J. Feulner, an architect of Project 2025, died Friday :coolstorybob:
Please post your reaction in GIF form

2025-07-20 12:04:31 UTC

Remember when Stephen Colbert did his show during COVID with a skeleton crew so we could at least have some comedy in our lives? Paramount doesn’t.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/885/464/579/016/237/original/62951659d1668e9c.jpeg

2025-07-01 21:43:21 UTC

Come, sit a spell by the fire my friends. I have a story to share.
My 83 year-old republican mother seems to have run into a problem proving her United States citizenship.
You see, like a proper woman in the 1960s she took her husband's last name. She's lived with this last name for 62 years. She does not, however, have a copy of her marriage certificate.
She is also the holder of a passport that expired 16 years ago. In the process of trying to renew her passport, which has her married name on it, the clerk at the post office asked for proof of marriage since her drivers license and passport names do not match her birth certificate. She wanted this proof to send in with the application just in case the US passport office decides to send it back due to the discrepancy. Even though she has an expired passport with her married name, they might not accept this any more as proof of citizenship.
If she cannot renew her passport, she also cannot get a REAL ID without proof of marriage. From 1963. When we searched the Cook County website for a marriage record, none were found. This will lead to what some might call "significant administrative burden" in the form of phone calls to government agencies to try to find a marriage certificate from 6 decades ago.
I then told her about the SAVE Act, which thankfully is stalled but may be why this is coming up for her now, when it was never an issue in the past. And that I *think* she will be OK and they will process her passport application because that didn't pass (yet).
She had no fuckin' idea what the SAVE Act is, because she only consumes conservative media. I was like if we can't sort this out and get a marriage certificate, you may not be able to vote if the SAVE Act passes.
Commence a bunch of "how can they do this?" type talk. In her defense, she had some sort of epiphany of how this is impacting immigrants and all the horrible shit going on. Because, you know, now it's affecting her.
She's a classic uninformed conservative voter, and she just got a big dose of FAFO. I was like, yeah. Can you understand why my brother and I keep saying "this is bad"?
Now let's roast some marshmallows.

2025-06-23 12:57:50 UTC

A cool and breezy scene from the top of Ulriken in Bergen 🇳🇴 June 21, 2025. As some sort of an attempt to offset the soupy heatwave of Chicagoland I’ve returned to.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/732/791/810/405/105/original/207d8ffc69e6f62c.jpeg

2025-05-20 10:49:55 UTC

Good morning [@the_etrain](https://beige.party/@the_etrain ) how’s your toe?

2025-05-09 20:57:13 UTC

If drug ads were really accurate:
Ask your doctor about Skyrizi. Then wait for your prior authorization to be processed over the next 3-4 weeks and it’ll probably be denied on the first pass, so then coordinate the appeal process through a series of phone calls and messaging with your care team, which will take an additional 60 days. Experience a sense of panic and dread that you won’t actually get the medication and then huzzah! It’s approved! Now you have to set up an account with a specialty pharmacy that will fuck up your order at least 3 times on some technicality, necessitating at least 2 hours of phone calls. After about a year of feeling like things are smooth sailing and feeling better, your insurance company will suddenly change the medication formulary and no longer cover Skyrizi.
Ask your doctor about Rinvoq.

2025-05-03 15:17:00 UTC

‘Sup?
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/444/561/169/900/227/original/0ab026975ab58dc7.jpeg

2025-04-28 11:15:55 UTC

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When I was eating almonds

2025-04-28 11:04:18 UTC

Has anyone seen my amygdala?

2025-04-26 15:03:45 UTC

When I die I’d like to be cremated but you can totally put my ashes in a box and drive them around town in the back of a 1989 Chevy Blazer with the top taken off

2025-04-16 10:18:12 UTC

My childhood home was on well water and septic so we had to use that Scot single ply toilet paper in case you’re wondering why I am the way I am

2025-04-15 10:50:04 UTC

Hear me out…A remake of Watership Down, but directed by Michael Bay.

2025-04-02 16:23:29 UTC

I’d tag this #SilentSunday but it’s not Sunday and the roosters have convened for morning arguments
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/269/291/033/725/141/original/f82912e789623406.jpeg

2025-03-30 12:22:58 UTC

I know absolutely nothing about the Canadian Supreme Court’s rulings or if there are any issues with corruption or the like but their robe game is legendary.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/114/251/358/312/240/712/original/52478f48571a6c53.jpeg

2025-03-26 11:16:11 UTC

“There has been a marked uptick in bullshit since January 20, 2025.”
Is it pronounced with one syllable “marked” or 2 syllables “mark-ed” ?

2025-02-03 12:02:31 UTC

13 yo got some feedback at school that being sarcastic while also being introverted doesn’t land well with some classmates so I think she needs to join Beige.

2025-02-02 13:52:29 UTC

Hypothetically speaking, if you’re thinking of putting anything on a Tesla, like a sticker or perhaps a note of some kind, please remember there’s something called “Sentry mode” that turns on the cameras and records if the car senses certain movements nearby while parked. So keep yourself unrecognizable. Hypothetically, of course.

2025-01-24 10:56:28 UTC

This seems like a solid idea 🙄
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/882/968/040/366/141/original/3a6238815ef595cd.png

2025-01-24 00:29:02 UTC

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Some have asked to see said Nazi punching hat
#PunchANazi
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/113/880/500/875/164/007/original/f5e449befb6db245.jpeg

2025-01-23 19:38:57 UTC

Got a compliment on my “Punch a Nazi” hat at O’Hare. I also think I genuinely made an old white businessman type uncomfortable in the United Club lounge by how he stared at me 😂 I take both of those as wins

2025-01-23 15:42:59 UTC

In case you're in the market for one:
https://shop.ultimatetreasuresstore.com/store/product/Electronics/00007O

2025-01-20 10:53:26 UTC

Good morning from frigid Chicago (-1F / -18C) 🥶
A lot of us are operating on a scale from nervous to sheer terror today as the U.S. transitions to whatever the hell we’re transitioning to. I’m not here to tell anyone how to think or feel. I do want to try to impart a smidge of wisdom, if I may. Not necessarily as a psychologist spouting off stupid theories but as someone who’s seen some shit, heard a LOT of stories, and lived 20+ years with chronic illness.
Our brains are really good at amplifying our attention to threat, because it’s supposed to protect us. Great. What our brains are absolute shit at is remembering how we’ve handled adversity in the past.
Do not underestimate your ability to handle whatever is coming. Every single one of us has been in situations we thought there was no way we could “do it.” Yet here we fucking are. Remind yourself of your strength, your wits, your ability to figure it out even if you’re exhausted. Don’t let your brain negate this. I’ll try to do the same.

2024-11-22 14:05:58 UTC

At 3 am a lone rooster started crowing. After maybe a minute he went silent and I like to imagine the other chickens were like STFU, Steve! Too early.

2024-08-13 19:46:06 UTC

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the best was that interview with Trump that shit the bed was front and center 😂

2024-08-13 19:18:17 UTC

I had to create an X account to go yell at someone giving a friend of mine shit about her work. I only followed Gordon Ramsay and my entire feed was Elon. Like, the whole fucking thing. I'd say "what a child" but my kids are less thirsty than this skid mark of humanity

2024-07-08 13:41:48 UTC

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Can you reply to any training emails with TBC quotes?

2024-07-08 12:32:53 UTC

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Girl, you have upset the training people sooooo much and I love it 😂 This feels like a Breakfast Club moment: hey how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we’ll all get up. It’ll be anarchy!