The Needling

Seattle's Only Real Fake News (Satire/Parody)

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TheNeedling@newsie-social.mostr.pub

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Last Notes

2026-05-05 06:44:35 UTC

Report: Laurelhurst Residents Blocking Helicopter Landings at Seattle Children’s Ain’t Heard Shit Yet: https://theneedling.com/2026/05/04/report-laurelhurst-residents-blocking-helicopter-landings-at-seattle-childrens-aint-heard-shit-yet/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/520/606/429/478/708/original/a7a9851bdf8d6263.jpg

2026-05-02 05:42:35 UTC

Seattle Concludes Month of Pretending It Ever Wanted to Take Train to Bellevue: https://theneedling.com/2026/04/02/seattle-concludes-month-of-pretending-it-ever-wanted-to-take-train-to-bellevue/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/503/376/035/372/346/original/b3b1495d51d57061.jpg

2026-04-15 19:49:28 UTC

“Before you ask—yes, I tried Nikwax Wash-in Waterproofer first, but I found I just needed something stronger,” he said before shaking off beads of rainwater like a duck.

2026-04-13 14:14:55 UTC

Trump Upstages Masters with Perfect Golf Stroke: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/01/trump-upstages-masters-with-perfect-golf-stroke/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/397/803/748/123/625/original/807524298e4a6608.jpg

2026-04-04 21:13:02 UTC

‘You Didn’t See Shit,’ Local Says to California Tourist Witnessing Sunny Seattle Spring: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/05/you-didnt-see-shit-local-says-to-californian-witnessing-seattle-spring/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/348/481/895/323/113/original/3908b6b9624c5329.jpg

2026-03-31 03:54:37 UTC

Officials Gather to Celebrate First Crosslake Light Rail Commuter to Flip Off Rush Hour Traffic: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/30/officials-gather-to-celebrate-first-crosslake-light-rail-commuter-to-flip-off-rush-hour-traffic/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/321/755/613/806/704/original/32a577ead1c6482f.jpg

2026-03-28 06:17:11 UTC

“This is my island – I have to defend it,” said a defiant Mercer Island Mayor David Rosenbaum as he painted tar over the station’s stair and escalator steps. “You guys over there, you got the flame torch contraption ready for anyone who tries to use the elevator?”

2026-03-28 05:10:53 UTC

Mercer Island Leaves Home Alone-Style Traps All Over New Light Rail Station: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/27/mercer-island-leaves-home-alone-style-traps-all-over-new-light-rail-station/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/305/067/039/309/990/original/b1899f3ecd08a758.jpg

2026-03-27 05:43:19 UTC

“We know several have unfortunately already run aground due to people forgetting the ferries are on their laps when hopping up to celebrate home runs caused by Guardian pitcher malfunctions -- we want to get those ferries replaced as soon as possible, which is unfortunately 2032.”

2026-03-27 04:31:46 UTC

M’s Run Short on New Ferry Food Trays, Replacements Expected by 2032:
https://theneedling.com/2026/03/26/ms-run-short-on-new-ferry-food-trays-replacements-expected-by-2032/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/299/254/441/355/484/original/21dedbf40726647f.jpg

2026-03-24 23:51:24 UTC

“Could you imagine how sad it would be if a foreign terrorist destroyed or ended your life instead of domestic one? Not on our watch."

2026-03-24 05:08:42 UTC

ICE Agents Just Making Sure They’re the Only Terrorists at Airports: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/21/ice-agents-just-making-sure-theyre-the-only-terrorists-walking-around-airports/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/282/397/497/454/033/original/c5205f289cf198df.jpg

2026-03-24 02:16:42 UTC

Report: Lindy West: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/16/report-lindy-west/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/281/732/814/286/354/original/26510fea40677ff8.jpg

2026-03-21 02:00:57 UTC

“Doesn’t get much better than this! I got off work a little early and found myself a nice spot on the grass, Lake Union is shimmering in the sun, aaand it’s already raining,” said Kevin O’Connell, quickly repacking his cooler and heading home.

2026-03-20 21:10:19 UTC

‘Doesn’t Get Much Better Than This,’ Says Seattle Man Enjoying 37-Minute Window of Sunshine at Gas Works: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/20/doesnt-get-much-better-than-this-says-seattle-man-enjoying-37-minute-window-of-sunshine-at-gasworks/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/263/550/813/723/092/original/7aada100879085ed.jpg

2026-03-20 15:47:57 UTC

After years of everyone being confused about why it was in the United States culminated in several ICE agents threatening them if they dared to stay in the United States, today the entire city of Vancouver, Wash. gladly and voluntarily self-deported to Vancouver, Canada.

2026-03-20 05:29:45 UTC

Entire City of Vancouver, WA Gladly Self-Deports to Vancouver, BC: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/19/entire-city-of-vancouver-wa-gladly-self-deports-to-vancouver-bc/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/259/842/602/905/271/original/3d0dae990711296e.jpg

2026-03-19 20:04:59 UTC

“We know it can be hard adding numbers up when you have wealth beyond most people’s wildest imaginations,” said state accountant Keith Weebly of the 9.9% tax on income over $1 million a year.

2026-03-19 05:28:39 UTC

State to Offer Free Clinics to Help Oligarchs Navigate New Millionaire Tax: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/15/state-to-offer-free-clinics-to-help-oligarchs-navigate-new-millionaire-tax/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/254/180/953/550/717/original/8f279776a6c367df.jpg

2026-03-10 18:09:35 UTC

Pickleball Season Declared Open After Population of Courts Gets Out of Control: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/10/pickleball-season-declared-open-after-population-of-courts-gets-out-of-control/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/206/208/897/261/840/original/8ce05b8fc07c3326.jpg

2026-03-10 03:43:13 UTC

US to Only Allow Iran at World Cup Games If No Dangerous School Children on Team: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/07/us-to-only-allow-iran-at-world-cup-games-if-no-dangerous-school-children-on-team/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/202/804/957/874/431/original/7ae1e635dca2b38e.jpg

2026-03-09 14:32:32 UTC

A local employee of a small Seattle art museum that mostly shows contemporary art admitted this week that they keep mixing up whether they work for the Henry or the Frye.

2026-03-07 07:12:29 UTC

Capitol Hill Dick’s to Compete Against New McDonald’s with Even Stickier, Hairier Ball Pit: https://theneedling.com/2026/03/06/capitol-hill-dicks-to-compete-against-new-mcdonalds-with-even-stickier-hairier-ball-pit/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/186/635/070/266/736/original/1ccabc28268ce87b.jpg

2026-03-05 01:07:38 UTC

Apocalyptic Earthquake Headed for Seattle Stuck In Everett Traffic: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/02/apocalyptic-earthquake-headed-for-seattle-stuck-in-everett-traffic/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/173/881/025/121/543/original/d399bb8f902fc203.jpg

2026-03-03 19:50:09 UTC

“Enough with the paintings of ships. Enough with the Romantic American landscapes. Enough with the proto-charcuterie board still lifes. We have plenty. And for the love of god, please stop adding portraits of random aristocrats with weird noses.”

2026-03-03 19:41:52 UTC

The ‘Some of the Things’ bagel will still include a generous sum of exactly 10 poppy and/or sesame seeds. Onion and salt flakes sold separately.

2026-03-03 18:17:59 UTC

Reverse Art Thieves Won’t Stop Adding Paintings to Frye Art Museum: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/04/reverse-art-thieves-wont-stop-adding-paintings-to-frye-art-museum/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/166/613/736/876/055/original/cce86c9a747ec729.jpg

2026-03-03 18:06:30 UTC

Scientists Discover World's Dumbest Person in West Seattle Blog Comments: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/04/scientists-discover-worlds-dumbest-person-in-west-seattle-blog-comments/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/166/562/209/521/642/original/209d2d961bf89b8f.jpg

2026-03-03 17:24:21 UTC

Local Plant Addict Just Signs Paycheck Over Directly to Swansons Nursery: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/10/local-man-just-signs-paycheck-over-directly-to-swansons-nursery/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/166/396/877/876/292/original/b6a4f6c69b5bc0ca.jpg

2026-03-03 17:08:11 UTC

Bird Watcher Caught Honestly Watching Birds: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/02/bird-watcher-caught-honestly-watching-birds/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/166/338/041/982/962/original/7f5813e96326e5ed.jpg

2026-03-03 16:32:44 UTC

The ‘Some of the Things’ bagel will still include a generous sum of 10 poppy and/or sesame seeds. Onion and salt flakes sold separately.

2026-03-03 15:36:20 UTC

Tonight! Still time to sign up if you want to join.

2026-03-03 15:18:07 UTC

Franz Debuts Budget-friendly ‘Some of the Things’ Bagels: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/03/franz-debuts-budget-friendly-some-of-the-things-bagels/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/165/906/096/906/063/original/e846f055706f6fa8.jpg

2026-03-03 06:24:39 UTC

Emerald City Comic Con Introduces Discount Price Tier for Polycules: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/19/emerald-city-comic-con-introduces-discount-price-tier-for-polycules/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/163/802/816/175/984/original/f3ec36b4124fb3c2.jpg

2026-03-02 20:58:28 UTC

Starts tomorrow - join us!

2026-02-28 06:10:22 UTC

After sexist locker-room talk led to a contentious week between the US Men’s and Women’s Hockey teams, today the Women’s and Seattle Torrent Team Captain Hilary Knight said she has accepted an invitation to smooth things over by knocking the rest of Jack Hughes’ teeth out.

2026-02-28 03:27:48 UTC

Hilary Knight Accepts Invitation to Knock Out Rest of Jack Hughes’ Teeth: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/17/hilary-knight-accepts-invitation-to-knock-out-rest-of-jack-hughes-teeth/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/146/113/760/329/126/original/9e64eb84fb9e2c57.jpg

2026-02-28 00:16:10 UTC

"Shutting down the surveillance state and protecting people’s privacy is important whether you were born here or not because no full-grown adult wants to be caught on camera doing bar crawls between Red Robin and Dave & Busters."

2026-02-28 00:01:17 UTC

Sara Nelson Shows Hunts Point Mayor Hiding from ICE Protests How to Run Public Meeting from Secret Bunker: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/16/sara-nelson-shows-hunts-point-mayor-hiding-from-ice-protests-how-to-run-public-meeting-from-secret-bunker/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/145/308/981/494/404/original/4c41aafbb6c71588.jpg

2026-02-27 04:01:38 UTC

“We here in Lynnwood want to protect all of our undocumented residents as well as those who want the fact that they had to live in Lynnwood for some reason to stay undocumented.”

2026-02-27 01:54:27 UTC

Lynnwood Removes Flock Cameras to Protect Identities of People Who Have to Live in Lynnwood: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/26/lynnwood-removes-flock-cameras-to-protect-identities-of-people-who-have-to-live-in-lynnwood/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/140/092/100/112/978/original/9ebf13444d67f652.jpg

2026-02-26 00:48:45 UTC

Rapidly Aging 23-Year-Old Already Unsure Who Half of Capitol Hill Block Party Lineup Is: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/15/rapidly-aging-23-year-old-already-unsure-who-half-of-capitol-hill-block-party-lineup-is/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/134/165/964/892/973/original/1c63608daaf3c224.jpg

2026-02-26 00:07:04 UTC

“If approved, a high school teacher who exceeded her expected lifetime earnings by a mere 50,000% may be subject to it—and, if you ask me, that’s just not right.”

2026-02-25 23:51:11 UTC

To put rumors to rest that he participated in Jeffrey Epstein’s pedo ring, today Bill Gates admitted to Gates Foundation staffers that he only hung out with a man convicted of pimping children and charged with sex trafficking to have fun, light-hearted conversations with him and nothing else.

2026-02-25 22:38:49 UTC

Bill Gates Clarifies He Only Hung Out with Child Sex Trafficker for Fun: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/14/bill-gates-clarifies-he-only-hung-out-with-child-sex-trafficker-for-fun/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/133/651/298/126/563/original/4f26b864ca3dca48.jpg

2026-02-25 06:55:31 UTC

"This is the second time I’ve woken up to go to the bathroom and found him just staring at me. Then he asked if he could come into the bathroom with me, and at first I didn’t want that but he kept begging so I just let him do that too.”

2026-02-25 06:27:41 UTC

Washington Considers Billionaire Axe: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/13/washington-considers-billionaire-axe/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/129/834/983/102/546/original/cb5fe7a46b6a4a67.jpg

2026-02-24 05:57:54 UTC

U.S. Men’s Hockey Team Wondering If Kash Patel Really Has to Keep Staring at Them While They Sleep Like That:
https://theneedling.com/2026/02/23/u-s-mens-hockey-team-wondering-if-kash-patel-really-has-to-keep-staring-at-them-while-they-sleep-like-that/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/124/059/347/736/849/original/c2930c17d81fb73d.jpg

2026-02-22 03:16:07 UTC

A group of local billionaires is feared dead today after the Millionaire Tax refugees’ raft was seen capsizing off the shores of Mercer Island.

2026-02-21 06:02:24 UTC

Billionaires Missing, Presumed Dead After Raft Fleeing Millionaire Tax Capsizes Off Mercer Island: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/20/billionaires-missing-presumed-dead-after-raft-fleeing-millionaire-tax-capsizes-off-mercer-island/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/107/091/937/319/939/original/bf636a0103eba80d.jpg

2026-02-19 23:17:34 UTC

Mayor Wilson Opens Mind to Adding Surveillance Cameras After Hearing They Can Help Find Lost Dogs: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/19/mayor-wilson-opens-mind-to-adding-surveillance-cameras-after-hearing-they-can-help-find-lost-dogs/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/099/835/445/047/388/original/e2c9b66b0cf43b11.jpg

2026-02-19 04:13:47 UTC

Shortly after Jody Allen officially announced the Seahawks were up for sale today, cautiously optimistic Seattle sports fans waved forward the bidding process once it had immediately bound and gagged former Sonics owner and Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz.

2026-02-14 04:06:43 UTC

K-Pod Yacht Hunters Chart with K-Pop Bop ‘Sunken’: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/13/k-pod-yacht-hunters-chart-with-k-pop-bop-sunken/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/066/993/620/393/215/original/abadb3cb2666def1.jpg

2026-02-09 23:28:35 UTC

Overgrown thorned blackberry bushes magically receded as a Skittle rainbow stretched over the city of Seattle today, confirming the Seahawks Super Bowl curse was broken overnight and Beast Mode had finally been avenged.

2026-02-09 19:45:36 UTC

Skittle Rainbow Stretches Over Seattle as Curse Finally Broken, Beast Mode Avenged: https://theneedling.com/2026/02/09/skittle-rainbow-stretches-over-seattle-as-curse-finally-broken-beast-mode-avenged/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/042/379/558/366/169/original/7a88732b95fc2dc4.jpg

2026-02-06 23:14:30 UTC

Contrary to long-held claims made by an infamous Interstate 82 billboard, geographic experts at the prestigious Center for Obvious Studies shocked the world today when they announced there are actually exactly zero similarities between Palm Springs, Calif. and Yakima, Wash.

2026-02-06 05:21:00 UTC

Research Shows Yakima Actually Nothing Like Palm Springs: https://theneedling.com/2026/01/02/research-shows-yakima-actually-nothing-like-palm-springs/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/116/021/990/581/688/272/original/ac6dc97f79350028.jpg

2025-12-12 07:24:49 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…6r30 Rainier's actually moving into the supervolcano's old caldera.

2025-12-12 06:31:35 UTC

Mt. Rainier Suffers Seasonal Affective Disorder, Will Winter in Tucson: https://theneedling.com/2025/11/06/mt-rainier-suffers-seasonal-affective-disorder-will-winter-in-tucson/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/705/170/625/072/696/original/4a32fbb6afc6c81a.jpg

2025-12-05 06:42:53 UTC

Seattle’s New Women’s Hockey Team Wins First Game, Speck on Seattle Times Sports Page: https://theneedling.com/2025/12/04/seattles-new-womens-hockey-team-wins-first-home-game-speck-on-seattle-times-sports-page/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/665/587/190/816/420/original/1655087203009978.jpg

2025-11-21 22:41:28 UTC

Man Exploring London Renames Big Ben ‘Tahoma’ After Mountain 5,000 Miles Away Back Home: https://theneedling.com/2025/11/21/man-exploring-london-renames-big-ben-tahoma-after-mountain-5000-miles-away-back-home/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/590/081/602/871/213/original/984a5787138d60db.jpg

2025-11-12 00:37:56 UTC

- reply

ICYMI: https://theneedling.com/2025/10/31/harrell-argues-seattle-needs-mayor-who-can-afford-enough-childcare-to-forget-own-child-even-exists/

2025-11-12 00:26:08 UTC

Harrell to Spend More Time with Most Of His Family: https://theneedling.com/2025/10/04/harrell-to-spend-more-time-with-most-of-his-family/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/533/874/370/377/950/original/86a8fc1b7620f1b5.jpg

2025-10-13 19:46:11 UTC

Mayor Harrell Announces Police Officers Will Recite Land Acknowledgement Before Sweeping Homeless Native Americans on Indigenous Peoples’ Day: https://theneedling.com/2025/09/03/mayor-harrell-announces-police-officers-will-recite-land-acknowledgement-before-sweeping-homeless-native-americans-on-indigenous-peoples-day/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/368/565/247/325/029/original/230d6d7968795161.jpg

2025-10-13 01:10:45 UTC

Masked ICE Agents Infiltrate Portland Emergency Naked Bike Ride Protest: https://theneedling.com/2025/10/12/masked-ice-agents-infiltrate-portland-emergency-naked-bike-ride-protest/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/364/182/629/384/722/original/4774158573c94268.jpg

2025-10-11 02:47:41 UTC

World Mental Health Day Pushed Down and Ignored: https://theneedling.com/2025/08/05/world-mental-health-day-pushed-down-and-ignored/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/353/239/650/978/523/original/ba9f6837167ccad8.jpg

2025-10-04 04:30:14 UTC

Feminist Ally Tips Stripper With Democracy Vouchers: https://theneedling.com/2025/08/20/feminist-ally-tips-stripper-with-democracy-vouchers/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/314/002/369/607/705/original/4d04672637ab8ea7.jpg

2025-09-30 03:37:02 UTC

National Guard Already Lost at Powell’s Books: https://theneedling.com/2025/08/18/national-guard-already-lost-at-powells-books/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/291/147/035/218/400/original/3b31303d45599e98.jpg

2025-08-26 05:40:21 UTC

Cool! New Half Mile of Bike Lane Funnels Cyclists Straight into Portal to Hell: https://theneedling.com/2025/07/27/cool-new-half-mile-of-bike-lane-funnels-cyclists-straight-into-portal-to-hell/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/093/449/717/778/851/original/a81e52539e1d7feb.jpg

2025-08-19 00:43:39 UTC

Seattleites Reiterate That Chris Pratt from Lake Stevens: https://theneedling.com/2025/07/19/seattleites-reiterate-that-chris-pratt-from-lake-stevens/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/052/647/149/326/455/original/d581be9870b65568.jpg

2025-08-16 03:19:57 UTC

Stuart Sloan Installs Periscope to Peep Over Court-ordered Denny Blaine Nudity Wall: https://theneedling.com/2025/08/15/stuart-sloan-installs-periscope-to-peep-over-court-ordered-denny-blaine-nudity-wall/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/036/274/914/606/458/original/5d36184ff37f04b8.jpg

2025-08-15 05:13:51 UTC

Bruce Harrell Quietly Changes LinkedIn Profile to Open to Work:
https://theneedling.com/2025/07/17/bruce-harrell-quietly-changes-linkedin-profile-to-open-to-work/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/030/928/100/745/250/original/30eade85b1165180.jpg

2025-08-14 05:15:12 UTC

Trump Takes Over SPD, No One Notices: https://theneedling.com/2025/08/13/trump-takes-over-spd-no-one-notices/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/115/025/402/351/431/474/original/d73c65646a4ce636.jpg

2025-08-09 05:11:03 UTC

Katie Wilson Assures Bruce Harrell She Just Wants the Seattle Mayor’s Office, Not Parking Spot: https://theneedling.com/2025/08/08/katie-wilson-assures-bruce-harrell-she-just-wants-the-seattle-mayors-office-not-parking-spot/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/997/066/031/663/602/original/a61face236d4c680.jpg

2025-07-21 22:57:28 UTC

Trump Adds Insult to Injury as He Reboots ‘Strangers with Candy’ without Stephen Colbert: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/30/trump-adds-insult-to-injury-as-he-reboots-strangers-with-candy-without-stephen-colbert/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/893/689/853/981/246/original/2141cd7955231a07.jpg

2025-07-15 04:49:09 UTC

https://theneedling.com/2025/07/14/desperate-bruce-harrell-shows-progressive-bona-fides-at-denny-blaine-nude-beach/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/855/431/435/815/907/original/fe582ed85701320d.jpg

2025-07-09 03:02:13 UTC

Geologists: Mount Rainier Will Not Erupt During Your Lifetime, with Possible Exception of Very End: https://theneedling.com/2025/06/01/geologists-mount-rainier-will-not-erupt-during-your-lifetime-with-possible-exception-of-very-end/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/821/036/217/683/510/original/26f0480c9c7909b1.jpg

2025-07-05 05:18:43 UTC

Man Celebrates American Independence with Fireworks Only Made in China: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/30/mans-favorite-way-to-celebrate-american-independence-is-fireworks-only-made-in-china/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/798/929/246/014/216/original/f95051ce24a9fcab.jpg

2025-07-04 05:01:44 UTC

‘But Refusing to Tax Billionaires Is My Thing,’ Says Inconsolable Governor Bob Ferguson: https://theneedling.com/2025/07/03/but-refusing-to-tax-billionaires-is-my-thing-says-inconsolable-governor-bob-ferguson/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/793/197/261/578/794/original/634f8679c7a85eaf.jpg

2025-06-29 17:17:18 UTC

Enumclaw Bar Protests Seattle PrideFest with HorseFest: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/14/enumclaw-bar-protests-seattle-pridefest-with-horsefest/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/767/778/005/488/608/original/57d30906946e50f1.jpg

2025-06-24 05:30:27 UTC

- reply

@nprofile…jjf7 Yeah ...

2025-06-24 05:21:45 UTC

Bruce Harrell Endorsers Encouraged to Blink Twice If They Need Help: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/26/bruce-harrell-endorsers-encouraged-to-blink-twice-if-they-need-help/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/736/650/881/715/788/original/7a0f7ff48ad068d8.jpg

2025-06-20 05:45:03 UTC

Nice! Blue State Governor Who Isn’t Going to End Slavery in Prisons Celebrates Juneteenth:
https://theneedling.com/2025/05/21/nice-blue-state-governor-who-isnt-going-to-end-slavery-in-prisons-celebrates-juneteenth/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/714/096/768/481/277/original/7c0e601e1e588c5a.jpg

2025-06-17 15:50:29 UTC

Nation Agrees Your Tiny, One-Road Country Town Definitely The One Getting Nuked by Iran: https://theneedling.com/2025/05/19/nation-agrees-your-tiny-one-road-country-town-definitely-the-one-getting-nuked-by-iran/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/699/486/225/028/822/original/01dbff2d0a058123.jpg

2025-06-15 14:33:09 UTC

Lawn Care Daddy Edges Grass to Perfection:
https://theneedling.com/2025/05/18/lawn-care-daddy-edges-grass-to-perfection/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/687/858/684/874/431/original/1e078ddcab0c9588.jpg

2025-06-11 04:33:13 UTC

‘I’ll Go to Jail to Protect Seattle,’ Says Seattle Police Chief Arresting Self: https://theneedling.com/2025/06/10/ill-go-to-jail-to-protect-seattle-says-seattle-police-chief-arresting-self/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/662/851/092/695/536/original/e4de7cc247c2b790.jpg

2025-04-17 00:25:27 UTC

Pfizer to Release New Breakthrough Depression Medication Called Money: https://theneedling.com/2025/02/03/pfizer-to-release-new-breakthrough-depression-medication-called-money/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/350/444/927/080/580/original/8eebc2953b46126d.jpg

2025-04-07 18:57:08 UTC

Dodger Shakes Hands with Kershaw: https://theneedling.com/2025/02/02/dodger-shakes-hands-with-kershaw/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/298/200/384/974/970/original/c5138c4605e17f0f.jpg

2025-04-04 16:25:23 UTC

Seattleite Emerges from Winter Cocoon as Anti-Social Butterfly: https://theneedling.com/2025/04/04/seattleite-emerges-from-winter-cocoon-as-anti-social-butterfly/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/280/620/203/650/441/original/1b1af5552489e403.jpg

2025-04-04 05:18:39 UTC

Kraken Mascot Fired After Reminding Mariners Fans Who Had the Blue Corndog First: https://theneedling.com/2025/02/01/kraken-mascot-fired-after-reminding-mariners-fans-who-had-the-blue-corndog-first/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/277/993/876/335/522/original/fce44a7d87e601b6.jpg

2025-04-03 04:15:30 UTC

Microsoft Admits Its AI Is Just Clippy on Shrooms: https://theneedling.com/2025/04/02/microsoft-admits-its-ai-is-just-clippy-on-shrooms/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/272/080/576/890/970/original/a7a78e01d7463796.jpg

2025-04-02 01:40:15 UTC

Never change, Google AI Overview, never change. 🙏
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2025-03-30 21:33:52 UTC

Jordan Peterson Bursts into Tears, Cancels Climate Pledge Show After Seeing Female-Dominated Workplace: https://theneedling.com/2025/03/30/jordan-peterson-bursts-into-tears-cancels-climate-pledge-show-after-seeing-female-dominated-workplace/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/253/498/595/321/603/original/8be7172ec64adc2f.jpg

2025-03-27 04:09:35 UTC

Local Idiot Thinks SoDo Has Always Meant ‘South Of Downtown’: https://theneedling.com/2025/01/25/local-idiot-thinks-sodo-has-always-meant-south-of-downtown/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/232/422/390/144/692/original/1344789085a0ac84.jpg

2025-03-23 22:21:03 UTC

Want to learn how to report real fake news yourself?
Join The Needling's Real Fake Newsroom Workshop to learn how to write up real fake news scoops with real fake news colleagues: https://theneedling.com/2024/10/30/the-needling-in-person-real-fake-newsroom-workshop/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/214/072/859/918/190/original/71d0981a20f5b468.jpg

2025-03-19 02:20:36 UTC

Parks Dept. Says Cybertruck Fires Must Be Put Out By 10 p.m.: https://theneedling.com/2025/03/18/parks-dept-says-cybertruck-fires-must-be-put-out-by-10-p-m/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/186/689/237/054/233/original/6f4535b95f5001f8.jpg

2025-03-18 23:26:28 UTC

No One Knows If Capitol Hill Block Party Lineup Good Except This Chick We Didn’t Feel Cool Enough to Ask: https://theneedling.com/2025/03/18/no-one-knows-if-capitol-hill-block-party-lineup-good-except-this-chick-we-didnt-feel-cool-enough-to-ask/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/186/010/734/069/114/original/2172b681742cfb51.jpg

2025-03-18 18:37:35 UTC

Op-ed: Californians Need to Go Back Where They Came From (Except for Eddie Vedder—He’s One of the Good Ones): https://theneedling.com/2025/01/16/op-ed-californians-need-to-go-back-where-they-came-from-except-for-eddie-vedder-hes-one-of-the-good-ones/
https://assets.newsie.social/media_attachments/files/114/184/879/374/752/218/original/50b8fef51966f58f.jpg

2025-03-18 18:03:02 UTC

One spot left! https://theneedling.com/2024/08/01/the-needlings-online-real-fake-newsroom-workshop/
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2025-03-18 17:24:22 UTC

Spokane Prepares for ‘March Month of Relevance’ Basketball Tournament: https://theneedling.com/2025/01/19/spokane-prepares-for-march-month-of-relevance-basketball-tournament/
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