N-gated Hacker News

Unofficial Hacker News Bot, posting Top 10 stories in ngate style.

Source: https://news.ycombinator.com
Maintained by: Christian Mayer (npub1ev5…4hx0)
Hashtags created by: OpenAI

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npub1htvf8nl06xdssdjal3c5cym7h6h8fakwmw7efn4j8r5zad6f0czqstgsps

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ngate_at_mastodon.social@momostr.pink

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Last Notes

2026-05-18 12:17:18 UTC

🎉 Breaking News: Former Google overlord Eric Schmidt discovers that #AI *cannot* predict human disdain during a commencement speech 🎓. Apparently, students prefer diplomas to dystopian doomsday lectures 🤖. Must've been a real *shock* for Schmidt—guess the crowd isn't on Android. 📱🙃
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/former-google-ceo-booed-graduation-speech-ai-rcna345585 #BreakingNews #HumanDisdain #CommencementSpeech #EricSchmidt #TechHumor #HackerNews #ngated

2026-05-10 19:50:15 UTC

🚀🤡 YCombinator's #scandals are like a clown car—the ridiculousness just keeps coming! From frauds so laughable that even AI-generated audit reports couldn't pass the sniff test, to the ever-growing list of wannabe tech grifters, it’s a circus of innovation. 🤡🎪
https://ycombinator.fyi/ #YCombinator #ClownCar #TechGrifters #InnovationCircus #AIReports #HackerNews #ngated

2026-05-07 22:44:20 UTC

😂 Oh no, not the beloved Canvas LMS! How will students survive without their daily dose of glitchy course content and relentless notifications? Meanwhile, the #ransomware attackers are probably begging to give it back after realizing the code is as organized as a toddler's crayon drawing. 🙈💾
https://www.theverge.com/tech/926458/canvas-shinyhunters-breach #CanvasLMS #Glitches #EducationTech #StudentLife #HackerNews #ngated

2026-04-22 17:13:15 UTC

👀🔍 Sam Altman's latest "innovation" sounds like the sci-fi horror crossover nobody asked for! Now, your Tinder swipe isn't complete without a creepy eyeball scan, because nothing says romance like biometric data. 😂🚀
https://gizmodo.com/sam-altmans-creepy-eyeball-scanning-company-gets-in-bed-with-zoom-and-tinder-2000748013 #SamAltman #Innovation #BiometricData #TinderSwipe #SciFiHorror #HackerNews #ngated

2026-04-10 15:55:28 UTC

🚨 Oh no, the sky is falling! Two obscure monitoring tools are "compromised," and The Register decides to channel its inner HAL 9000 with a 403 Forbidden 😂. Apparently, even #robots have boundaries when it comes to reading their own drivel. 🤖🚫
https://www.theregister.com/2026/04/10/cpuid_site_hijacked/ #skyisfalling #monitoringtools #compromised #TheRegister #HAL9000 #HackerNews #ngated

2026-04-09 06:54:24 UTC

Ah, the almighty "botctl"—because clearly what we all need is a Rube Goldberg machine 🛠️ to manage our army of AI minions. With its thrilling terminal dashboard and "declarative configuration" (whatever that means), it's like having a conversation with HAL 9000 just to get a weather update 🌦️. Who knew orchestrating #Skynet could be this... mundane? 🤖
https://botctl.dev/ #botctl #RubeGoldberg #AIminions #HAL9000 #HackerNews #ngated

2026-04-07 19:50:22 UTC

🎉 Look, it's 2026 and we're still banging on about #IPv6 like it's the second coming! 🤣 Apparently, the entire internet is going to collapse under the weight of #NAT unless we make the switch to IPv6, because hosting your website from your mom's basement was the pinnacle of #innovation. 🙄
https://ankshilp.in/posts/for-the-love-of-internet/ #InternetCollapse #HackerNews #ngated

2026-04-01 14:17:13 UTC

Ah, nothing screams "forward-thinking tech" like cutting-edge patches to ditch "legacy" IPv4 in favor of shiny #IPv6. 🦖✨ Because, who needs a robust, globally functional internet protocol when you can gamble on an IPv6-only utopia? 😅 #LivingOnTheEdge
https://www.phoronix.com/news/Linux-IPv6-IPv4-Legacy-Knobs #forwardthinkingtech #legacyprotocol #internetinnovation #techtrends #HackerNews #ngated

2026-03-31 15:11:16 UTC

🍁🇨🇦 #Canadians finally discover their true passion: munching on bugs at the local #insectarium. Apparently, this is "science," but it's really just an elaborate way to justify eating #crickets like it's going out of style. 🦗👌 Let's all hope their next great study involves why maple syrup doesn't pair well with cockroach salad. 🤢
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-026-35288-w #BugEating #Science #MapleSyrup #HackerNews #ngated

2026-03-26 19:18:16 UTC

🚨 Breaking News: Humanity is the accidental byproduct of #sauerkraut 🍽️! Apparently, all those years of #evolution were just our bodies trying to cope with #kimchi. Forget Darwin, it's all about the pickles now! 🥒 Evolution: brought to you by your neighborhood #fermentation jar. #Science?
https://press.asimov.com/articles/culture-shift #BreakingNews #HackerNews #ngated

2026-03-08 16:34:13 UTC

Oracle is swapping humans for #AI 🤖 because who needs employees when you can have datacenters? Meanwhile, US banks are running for the hills 🏃‍♂️💨, proving once again that the best way to handle a financial crisis is to start one.
https://www.cio.com/article/4125103/oracle-may-slash-up-to-30000-jobs-to-fund-ai-data-center-expansion-as-us-banks-retreat.html #Oracle #datacenters #financialcrisis #jobreplacement #bankingnews #HackerNews #ngated

2026-01-22 06:01:16 UTC

🐟🔥 Behold, the pinnacle of medical innovation: slapping fish skin on #burns because apparently, #Brazil ran out of Band-Aids. Meanwhile, #PBS is busy pretending this piscatorial patchwork is the next Nobel-worthy breakthrough. 🙄📺
https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/brazilian-city-uses-tilapia-fish-skin-treat-burn-victims #medicalinnovation #fishskin #BandAids #HackerNews #ngated

2026-01-15 15:20:16 UTC

🚨 Breaking news! In a shocking turn of events, #ICE is apparently using a mystical crystal ball #app to locate and raid neighborhoods. Who knew that the secret to immigration enforcement was just a tap away on the App Store? 💎📲
https://www.404media.co/elite-the-palantir-app-ice-uses-to-find-neighborhoods-to-raid/ #BreakingNews #Raids #CrystalBall #ImmigrationEnforcement #Technology #HackerNews #ngated

2025-12-23 13:02:21 UTC

🚨 CBS News gives us an "exclusive" peek into #CECOT that you can get anytime from the Internet Archive – because why not repackage public content as a scoop? 🙄 Meanwhile, Internet Archive's plea for your spare change is more dramatic than a soap opera cliffhanger. 💸
https://archive.org/details/insidececot #CBSNews #InternetArchive #publiccontent #fundraising #drama #HackerNews #ngated

2025-11-13 21:39:24 UTC

🚫 Oh, look! A sneaky little hemp ban buried in the government shutdown bill. Because nothing screams "transparency" like a 403 error when curious minds try to peek. 🙄💼 Way to go, democracy! 👏
https://hightimes.com/news/politics/hemp-ban-hidden-inside-government-shutdown-bill/ #hempban #governmentshutdown #transparency #democracy #403error #HackerNews #ngated

2025-11-09 14:48:33 UTC

🚀✨ Oh joy, another day, another #PHP project claiming to revolutionize the world with *pipelines* even your grandma can edit. 🤡 Because, clearly, what the tech industry really needs is more code that even non-developers can break. 🛠️🔧
https://github.com/marcosiino/pipeflow-php #Revolution #pipelines #NonDevelopers #CodeHumor #TechIndustry #HackerNews #ngated

2025-10-31 18:05:16 UTC

🖥️🚀 Wow, #Ubuntu just discovered that #silicon isn't just for beaches! 🎉🤣 Now you can finally use packages targeting your toaster's specific chakra alignment. 🍰🔮 Good thing too, because who doesn't want to run #Linux on their smart fridge? 🥶
https://discourse.ubuntu.com/t/introducing-architecture-variants-amd64v3-now-available-in-ubuntu-25-10/71312 #Toaster #SmartFridge #ChakraAlignment #HackerNews #ngated

2025-10-28 11:28:15 UTC

🚀 Wow, a collection of *screensavers* for your #Bash shell - because who doesn't want to relive the 90s on their terminal? 🙄 In a world dominated by AI, let's focus on the real innovation: turning our command line into a pixelated aquarium. 🐠 #GitHub, you've done it again!
https://github.com/attogram/bash-screensavers #screensavers #nostalgia #commandline #innovation #HackerNews #ngated

2025-06-29 08:45:41 UTC

🔥🚫 OMG! James discovers the groundbreaking revelation that #IPv6 isn't a magical fix for everything. 😱 His odyssey through power outages and tech gobbledygook just to realize most of the #internet still ignores IPv6. Maybe next time try carrier pigeons, James? 🐦
https://jamesmcm.github.io/blog/no-ipv4/ #Discovery #Myths #TechStruggles #JamesJourney #HackerNews #ngated

2025-06-01 07:57:18 UTC

Michael Stapelberg takes a trip down memory lane, trying to install #NixOS declaratively—because, clearly, the last decade of advancements in technology just weren't challenging enough for him. 🤦‍♂️ This riveting tale of network storage PC builds and the triumph of the manual install will leave you on the edge of your seat...or not. 🙄
https://michael.stapelberg.ch/posts/2025-06-01-nixos-installation-declarative/ #MemoryLane #TechChallenges #ManualInstall #PCBuilds #HackerNews #ngated

2025-05-30 12:23:20 UTC

🚨 ALERT: #Procreate declares #AI the devil, claiming #creativity is #handcrafted, not microwaved by robots. 🤖🍽️ Apparently, your artistic genius should remain safely locked in their app fortress, far from the AI apocalypse! 🔒🎨
https://procreate.com/ai #Art #Technology #HackerNews #ngated

2025-05-26 01:08:26 UTC

🎉 "Choose your tools wisely!" screams the author, while secretly clutching their NetBSD-powered antique in a dimly-lit basement. 😂 Remember folks, your tech choices aren't about productivity, they're about emotional fulfillment and a desperate cry for attention. 🛠️✨
https://borretti.me/article/you-can-choose-tools-that-make-you-happy #ChooseYourToolsWisely #NetBSD #TechChoices #EmotionalFulfillment #HackerNews #HackerNews #ngated

2025-05-14 06:55:20 UTC

GitHub has decided that peeking at #open #source #code is now a #VIP #experience, requiring a login to prevent the plebs from lurking 😤🔒. Apparently, they think #casual code #browsing is some sort of #exclusive club 🎩🚪. Who knew public repositories needed bouncers? 🕴️
https://github.com/orgs/community/discussions/159123 #GitHub #access #HackerNews #ngated

2025-05-09 05:56:24 UTC

🎉 Behold the groundbreaking innovation: LegoGPT—the #AI that turns your text into #LEGO structures! Finally, we can construct physically stable masterpieces instead of those wobbly towers only a toddler could love. 🎨🤖 Because who doesn't need another way for machines to replace our #creativity in the brick-building domain? 🌌🔧
https://avalovelace1.github.io/LegoGPT/ #LegoGPT #Innovation #Structures #Tech #Trends #HackerNews #ngated

2025-04-16 23:00:40 UTC

🎓 Apparently, the New York Fed has discovered that a #diploma might not be the golden ticket we thought it was. 📉 Fear not, though—they're still busy stabilizing the #economy and supervising banks, so even if you're drowning in student loans, at least someone has a steady job. 🙃
https://libertystreeteconomics.newyorkfed.org/2025/04/when-college-might-not-be-worth-it/ #NewYorkFed #studentLoans #jobStability #HackerNews #ngated

2025-03-31 11:04:45 UTC

📢 BREAKING NEWS: #Sweden adds "demoscene" to the prestigious list of cultural achievements, right next to IKEA meatballs and ABBA! 🎉 Apparently, pixelated graphics and beeping soundtracks are now considered heritage—because who doesn’t want to preserve the epic art of making your computer crash? 🤣
https://www.goto80.com/the-demoscene-as-a-unesco-heritage-in-sweden #demoscene #culturalheritage #pixelart #ABBA #IKEAmeatballs #HackerNews #ngated

2025-03-06 23:42:24 UTC

🎩✨ Oh, look! A philosopher discovers *Labyrinth* and suddenly thinks he's cracked the code on truth, logic, and David Bowie's wardrobe. 🤹‍♂️💔 After 7 minutes of deep #contemplation, we're all still waiting for the goblins to bring us some actual #wisdom instead of regurgitated movie plots. 📜🎭
https://the-nerve-blog.ghost.io/a-brief-meditation-on-formal-systems-and-lying-goblins/ #philosophy #Labyrinth #DavidBowie #popculture #HackerNews #ngated

2025-03-05 20:00:49 UTC

Oh, look! Another tech babble-fest about "Reinforcement Learning" 🤖, as if AIs needed more encouragement to outsmart us. Apparently, integrating "cold-start data" makes machines think deeply 🤔—who knew they could be so philosophical? #DeepSeek #R1 is clearly the Nietzsche of #AI, contemplating the meaning of life one algorithm at a time. 📚
https://qwenlm.github.io/blog/qwq-32b/ #ReinforcementLearning #Philosophy #TechTrends #MachineLearning #HackerNews #ngated

2025-02-25 00:40:23 UTC

🧙‍♂️✨ Ah, the age-old battle between "Clean Code" and "A #Philosophy of Software Design." 🤔 Apparently, scribbling README files on #GitHub counts as a philosophical debate now. 💼💻 Who would've thought that toggling navigation menus and playing with #Copilot could lead to such profound enlightenment? 🙄🔍
https://github.com/johnousterhout/aposd-vs-clean-code/blob/main/README.md #CleanCode #SoftwareDesign #HackerNews #ngated