CrypticNode
cryptic node

Positive and encouraging, hopefully ✝️🫶😂

Vote with your money! BIP110.org

I try my hand at comedy, but I mostly only make myself laugh and come across as a jerk 😂🤷‍♂️🫶

Public Key

npub1axr49qkexxmcm0g2tac3uawzmk59gaupsgy5fw5sfuscumq79h9qjh47gn

Profile Code

nprofile1qqswnp6jstvnrdudh5997ug7whpdm2z5w7qcyz2yh2gy7gvwds0zmjspz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds4v4hw9

Publishing to

relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1axr49qkexxmcm0g2tac3uawzmk59gaupsgy5fw5sfuscumq79h9qjh47gn

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Last Notes

2026-05-31 20:10:18 UTC

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Oops I mean to nostr, forgive me it’s been a long weekend after a long week.

2026-05-31 20:09:29 UTC

If someone could make a bot to port posts from twitter\campus_cuties to X that would be great…
https://blossom.primal.net/a1f4cedce997b63b11f57b3b91e631b9cae163a66bc9948a29ebe721aac26911.jpg

2026-05-31 20:06:00 UTC

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1 sat, 1 sat, 1 sat, 1 sat… a true test of the lightning network

2026-05-31 20:05:25 UTC

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Bahahahahaha yes.

2026-05-31 19:50:02 UTC

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I zapped this with my last sat. Brilliant meme sir.

2026-05-31 19:16:07 UTC

Nostr just needs Napster over Nostr and more thirst traps to succeed 😂😂🤣🤣🤣 not really. Everyone is worried about if Nostr will die but it won’t. Same as Bitcoin. If everyone else sells, I’m still retarded enough to hold and buy.
That said, Napster over nostr and thirst traps please. I’ll be working on my abs and glutes this summer so if that counts as thirst traps for you I’ll post it but get those good pics posted. Monaco, Barbados, boobs and butts. 🤣 something, something… keep nostr weird.

2026-05-31 17:48:01 UTC

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I don’t mind if you don’t zap this, but please like this note if you would use Napster over nostr and tell your friends

2026-05-31 17:47:06 UTC

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Napster over nostr. NIP 35. The onboarding would be massive.

2026-05-29 02:39:06 UTC

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If you love something, let it go.

2026-05-26 10:22:55 UTC

We live in the age of feminism. Cars will ding and beep at you, jerk the wheel back into the lane, and tell you you’re driving too fast, but the car can’t actually drive for you, it can’t really drive by itself, and it’s not a better driver than you. 😂

2026-05-26 02:09:41 UTC

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I can’t zap you

2026-05-24 11:51:05 UTC

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It’s from the tv show Silicon Valley, just being funny. That nostr build looks cool though

2026-05-24 11:43:03 UTC

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This Pied Piper algorithm is sweet, what are you rocking? Middle out compression?

2026-05-14 03:12:33 UTC

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🤷‍♂️ it’s not doing it for me tonight. The funk is thick.

2026-05-10 15:49:10 UTC

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Ser, it would be easier to be an easy stacker if I could zap you

2026-05-10 14:03:35 UTC

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We’re just going off our past observations 😂

2026-05-09 14:16:50 UTC

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Terrible advice lol

2026-05-09 13:18:56 UTC

Cannolis and coffee beats all other breakfast options
@npub1a6z…vhjk

2026-05-09 12:28:11 UTC

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I support him about 1% just in case he is secretly freeing us from Israel.
They say Israel stole US nuclear secrets and when the Israeli spy was caught by the US, JFK was killed and the spy was returned to Israel.
They say Israel is the only nation with nuclear weapons that has no inspections or rules for use.
It has been said that Israel threatened all US presidents to attack Iran or Israel would nuke Iran. Supposedly trump is the first president to take that seriously.
The only way I still support trump is if he is doing all these dumb things to shine a light on the fact that Israel owns us to flip public support against Israel at the same time that he’s moved military assets to the region to “protect Israel and attack Iran”. But if he waited long enough for almost everyone everywhere to hate Israel, then he could use the military assets in the region to cripple Israel before they have time to use the Samson option.
The Samson option is for Israel to launch nukes at every major country and every large city center to kill as many people and create as much global panic as possible in a last ditch effort to save themselves after trying to ruin and subvert every other nation on earth. It’s not easy to get kicked out of 190+ countries over 3000 years but they manage to achieve it. 😂
This is the only option where trump is still an American and people end up not hating him in the end.

2026-05-09 09:39:16 UTC

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In my experience, builders, doers, and painters are the inspiration and writers, sportsmen (😂) and activists seem to be doing anything to avoid real work 😂😂 jokes… and bad ones but what do you expect at 5:30 am? Are you not entertained?!

2026-05-08 12:13:30 UTC

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FIPS! We’re getting there brother. Join us in the vibe code crusade!
https://fips.network/
#vibecodecrusade

2026-05-08 00:52:03 UTC

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🫒🍸 quality engagement farming

2026-05-08 00:51:28 UTC

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You might already have my address 😂 Sat’s oil is one of my favorite things. 🫶 I hope more people on nostr give it a shot. But not before I get another order in 😂🫡🙏
#nevent1q…l0ey

2026-05-04 09:56:17 UTC

When I see a monero bro on nostr I mute them for two reasons:
1. Monero bros like their privacy
2. I don’t want to be pitched by what seems like a dead shitcoin
😂

2026-05-03 13:55:34 UTC

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😂😂😂

2026-05-02 04:29:09 UTC

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🫡✝️🙏

2026-05-02 04:27:40 UTC

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I think he’s still working on Sideband. Either way it’s cool the community is running with it

2026-05-02 03:32:05 UTC

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What’s the GitHub url? I’d love to check it out. 🫡🫶🙏

2026-05-02 01:38:27 UTC

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Likely? I don’t know, I don’t have android

2026-05-01 21:12:05 UTC

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Some people value tiny spoons in a tiny spoon display. I’ve learned a lot about logic, rust, JavaScript, Linux network administration, and nostr just by vibe coding stuff I wish existed but didn’t. I don’t think it’s necessarily “worth it” if you think of AI as primarily generating memes, but if it gets more efficient as all things seem to do… I was against AI for a while for a lot of reasons but I’ve also learned a lot about gardening from it. I think it has its value. I think trying to value it based on 1990s or 2010 values, or more to your point, Christian values, it seems like a lot of waste for very little actual product. But I think the same could be said about the wright brothers first “airplane”

2026-05-01 18:03:12 UTC

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Sounds pretty great! Tell me more 😂

2026-05-01 13:45:13 UTC

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Oooooo and silicon is sand! Fun. Well I’ve been wondering what it’s like to be Amish…. No vaccines, no ads, no scrolling online late into the night. Just farming, woodworking, and fudge. Also we should start boycotting AI companies until they can’t sell enough subscriptions and they go under. Maybe that’ll bring memory prices down. Or maybe they use some of that AI to design a better, more efficient way to make RAM.

2026-05-01 00:44:51 UTC

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Just fork openclaw and name it something else?

2026-04-30 02:01:24 UTC

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Sidebar: what is naughty goat jelly? And what is it used for?

2026-04-30 01:58:39 UTC

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Watch out for 🐻s

2026-04-18 12:55:23 UTC

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Oh good! I just bought several when I realized creamy was gone (on the site and in my house, terrifying)

2026-04-18 01:40:55 UTC

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🤌

2026-04-18 01:40:26 UTC

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I’m an alps man, myself. 🤌

2026-04-17 04:25:05 UTC

@nprofile…e5gf #worththesats
I loved the thing in the bottom of the box! Not sure if you want to keep it a surprise so I will.
The oil 🤌🤌🤌 mama mia!!!! So good. Tastes like olive oil from the 90s but better.
Quite literally direct imported from Italy.
Ahhh the power of #bitcoin

2026-04-14 03:31:19 UTC

Thank you for your attention on this matter:
Nostr Relay Dashboard is officially bad ass.
If you want the 🤌 🤌 then please:
git clone -b dev https://github.com/cryptic-node/nostr-relay-dashboard.git
It’s recommended to run it on ubuntu with:
apt install git curl build-essential pkg-config libssl-dev ca-certificates rustup caddy tailscale npm
One more very minor tweak tomorrow then v1.0.5 (the final update to it) will be pushed to main.
Feel the rush of backing up all your nostr data for all your accounts.
https://blossom.primal.net/e980bce7e3d7b591fb102f021c1f29b887d4b38cfb1f11622fc6b8cc89bb9fc5.jpg

2026-04-05 13:16:03 UTC

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Good reminder! Thanks 🫡

2026-03-29 05:45:30 UTC

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Same with the bitaxe gamma. I think they just need a thorough cleaning

2026-03-29 04:55:40 UTC

I a big fan of @nprofile…4f6s and Canaan.io nano3.
I bought one Monday from CC and received it and set it up within 2 days. The TAT and shipping was so fast.
The miner is so quiet.
I had to buy another one. And a washer jig, and a bitcoin only sign, and golf tees, and slate coasters laser etched with the white paper.
This is one late night internet purchase I doubt I will regret.
🫡🍻⚡️

2026-03-29 04:45:14 UTC

@nprofile…4f6s 🍺🍻 cheers ⚡️🫡

2026-03-29 03:57:30 UTC

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Can clawbot play gta online? 🤔

2026-03-29 02:53:27 UTC

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And yet if I had 0.01% of the hashrate that would be wild. If I had 0.01% of the total supply that would be wild. If I had 0.01% of the smartest, hardest working bad asses in the bitcoin network in my corner, that’d be more than most can boast. Proud pleb 🫡

2026-03-28 16:22:40 UTC

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Very cool

2026-03-28 15:43:12 UTC

#foodstr
https://blossom.primal.net/aa7493178dc07e230c1f3408c5352b5a7332ca2edfd8acce99186aa82b15d46e.jpg

2026-03-28 15:39:55 UTC

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Absolutely own as many weapons as makes sense and be as proficient with them as possible. You also want to have at least one *advanced tech* weapon and one *alternative strategy weapon*
You probably won’t own an F16, but Vietnam farmers with hunting rifles have taken down planes before.
Owning a Javelin is outside the normal realm of doable, but owning a .50 cal with anti-aircraft rounds is much more affordable.
Or something like the Anarchist Cookbook 1 & 2. Sometimes a bit of thermite or napalm work better than an F16 or a nuke.
Then there’s paracetic acid, chloramine and all the chemical gases.
Chemical batteries and exothermic reactions.
Humans are creative and that creativity should be focused on building, but can always be used for defense or offense.

2026-03-28 15:02:23 UTC

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I’m at 3 knots instances and 0 v30 core. Feels good.

2026-03-28 15:01:07 UTC

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Have I been whack-a-moling asparagus this whole time?!

2026-03-28 14:59:59 UTC

AI joke of the day:
Nihilism’s party trick is shrugging so hard it becomes an aerobic exercise.
#AI
#JokeOfTheDay

2026-03-28 14:43:15 UTC

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Far too delicious and easy to devour.

2026-03-28 14:42:11 UTC

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They didn’t last long enough to have time to open the fridge or get the yogurt out.

2026-03-28 14:12:45 UTC

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They sold out to one of those stock market companies around 2020 that switches all the half and half to powdered milk, all the coffee beans to floor dust, the water for the coffee is mop water now. It’s not about purposely destroying the brand, they just want to be able to put zero money into their products or people and milk it for quarterly rewards.
@nprofile…6dew and the book Extreme Ownership fix this 🫶🫡☀️⚡️
Have a bless day! Stay away from the Ho’s in different area codes.

2026-03-28 14:10:10 UTC

1. Make a good day, don’t try to have one.
2. Do the hard thing first in stages.
3. Be a navy seal of your life and career.
4. Extreme ownership, make results not excuses.
This is all I got for now.
☀️☀️☀️
God bless and God speed. ⚡️🫶

2026-03-28 14:05:43 UTC

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Yes!

2026-03-28 13:43:18 UTC

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The runner in the race that’s in the lead by miles has no need to look back at those far behind him and say worriedly “they’re after me! Look! They’re all chasing me! What do I do?! Will no one help? Does no one care that literally every other racer is chasing me right now?!?”
No.
No ser.
He looks to the finish line and runs his heart out in that direction.
Eat a good meal of steak and eggs, exercise a little, go outside, get a good night sleep and make tomorrow all about re-focusing on Graphene and closing your eyes and ears to the haters.
Imagine I was a Calyx OS guy. I want two things, for you to lose your cool and fall off and for me to take your place. The only way that can happen is if I can get you to react to my bullshit and keep bugging you.
Step back, step up, do work and ignore.
Mute me too if you’re sick of hearing me say stop whining and build ser.

2026-03-28 13:36:11 UTC

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You need your bitcoiner “GFY” moment.
You could tell your customers to GFY but that’s a bad idea.
You could tell nostr to GFY, again a bad idea.
You could start eating steak, doing push ups, bitcoin only, post your updates, live on nostr, use the mute and block, cultivate your feed and the public’s access to you. Anyone that doesn’t praise you gets a “GFY”. Getting sued in America? Move to El Salvador and keep building.
The best revenge is a life well lived, builders gonna build, haters gonna hate.
Stay a builder, let the haters sizzle.

2026-03-28 13:27:40 UTC

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I’m starting up and running as many knots nodes as I can handle 🫡 the NFT boys, closeted slavers, and the tiny hats can eat their hearts out. BIP110 and Bitcoin could both fail and be gone forever and I would still be over here mining and running nodes and checking mempool like a left-of-the-parabola autist.

2026-03-28 13:23:14 UTC

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Email is for folks that don’t know about nostr DMs 😂 but the nostr DMs are broken according to @nprofile…y6gs though I’m starting to think it’s my own user error that causes most if not all of my problems

2026-03-28 13:19:43 UTC

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Linux Tux, Solaris Sun (or Sun Microsystems), the BTC carrot without the stick, grapes of the grape lady (one of the first internet meme videos I remember), the watermelon represents a tasty treat, and the last thing is a biscuit?

2026-03-28 08:03:34 UTC

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Figured it out almost instantly. You just have to add the # to your search

2026-03-28 08:01:10 UTC

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Knipex cobras are nice.
Some of my favorite tools: Wiha insulated linesman pliers. Wiha insulated dykes. Stanley fat max tape measure. Channellock 426, 420, 430, 440. Milwaukee digital protractor. Santronics AC-EZ non-contact voltage detector.
Kobalt makes a socket set that has a ratchet handle with 3/8” drive on one side and 1/4” drive stacked on top of the 1/2” drive on the other side. All three drives in one handle. Brilliant.
Great idea for a thread!

2026-03-28 03:24:42 UTC

Is there no #hashtag #worththesats on primal? Or I can’t figure out how to search for it. Almost certainly user error

2026-03-28 01:54:32 UTC

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What if you could link gitea and nostr-relay? Gitea Mirror makes it so easy to clone everything from GitHub to Umbrel gitea. Then it’s just a matter of the other stuff you were talking about. Features and nips and multi-sig encrypted group code reviews. 🤷‍♂️

2026-03-28 01:19:12 UTC

Wen block height = 1,000,000?

2026-03-28 00:37:22 UTC

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Hey! Good stuff! I can’t find a nostr profile for satnam.pub and the link to the dev page isn’t set up, but it’s cool stuff. Also the site needs a price or something. More details. But cool

2026-03-27 23:05:23 UTC

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The banana chocolate bites are gone already 😂

2026-03-27 22:36:05 UTC

Buckcherry #showerstr
Keep nostr weird
(@nprofile…xeq7 I need to upgrade but I do like the citrus Castile)
https://blossom.primal.net/3a6a7204400fbebf8a64bfd63f565aa88d77288d491a1d29db23f1bf25c229af.jpg

2026-03-27 22:32:45 UTC

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Is this @nprofile…c5de becoming a “GFY” bitcoiner? 😂 whatever is up I’m here for it and I like siding with privacy tech 😂🫡

2026-03-27 22:07:08 UTC

@nprofile…0y5w banana chocolate lil bits are really good. I should have gotten like 5 boxes. Here’s a pic before they’re gone
👍🤌🫶
https://blossom.primal.net/f7165f1e64e7ebe5e56b0d4e1bba6f1ee5038098abde4d393653c9fbe932a6fd.jpg

2026-03-27 20:44:08 UTC

@nprofile…k295 is amazing. I think they do 2-day shipping somehow. The Canaan miner is so quiet I forget it’s there. Puts out a nice little bit of heat, nothing crazy. The set up required guessing a bit with factory username and password but it set up relatively easily. Just hashing away on medium at about 5.15Th/s
Definitely check out cryptocloaks site. Awesome stuff. Bitcoin grenade, slate laser engraved coasters, all kinds of fun stuff 👍🫡🫶
https://blossom.primal.net/0c3cb77d8663fe76f13bbe7c509e356b08bb4793bb52ac8be6792a7807f349a9.jpg

2026-03-27 20:39:11 UTC

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I couldn’t find my drug *ahem* spice scale anywhere but the postage it was shipped in said 8oz.

2026-03-27 20:37:11 UTC

Quick #bitcoin product update:
Buying a pack of @Olympus Gum is the equivalent of buying your jaw a month of CrossFit gym membership and I love it
I got the @nprofile…0y5w chocolate and @nprofile…g5lm coffee too. I’ll try those this weekend and let ya know.

2026-03-27 09:32:57 UTC

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I installed start9 os on an old laptop and it worked except nothing showed up in the marketplace of apps no matter what I did. It’s sad to see them run out of steam.

2026-03-27 02:44:16 UTC

Is your node running? You’d better go catch it! GNostr

2026-03-27 02:10:43 UTC

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What kind ya got there? 😈

2026-03-27 01:49:14 UTC

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Is there a code for free UPS shipping for orders over $250?

2026-03-26 21:46:31 UTC

I think it would be cool to have a set of gold silverware. Goldware? Bitcoin reducing gold to its utility cost would be cool. Gold has cool chemical properties and would be more useful as anything besides a brick in a vault. 24k gold audio jacks. Gold toilets. Electronics. That’s all I got.

2026-03-26 21:27:26 UTC

How can one be expected to stay awake with the sound of rain on the roof.

2026-03-26 20:29:08 UTC

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I read somewhere that blossom had a lot of security vulnerabilities but I think it was referring to a different blossom program unrelated to nostr but clearly I don’t know any details. I might as well google or grok it. 🤔 I think the one I was reading about has something to do with email not nostr
https://blossom.primal.net/501f09b39d347a7cbc34e8f929e4554d61d4eff3dd7d4ca44e98ac0c9be92cc3.jpg

2026-03-26 02:46:05 UTC

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That’s awesome, I didn’t realize that. Im glad you mentioned it. I haven’t dug into it much yet but it seems pretty great and I can’t wait to.

2026-03-25 20:51:19 UTC

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I wonder if this is why I can’t see all the DMs…

2026-03-25 20:50:45 UTC

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What’s no Alan?

2026-03-25 20:38:18 UTC

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Excellent! Have you seen the Haven Manet mesh project on GitHub? I’m trying to see if I can build one or more of those.
I think the guy at Parallel will sell the guide for $100 or a unit for over $1000 but you can just download the guide and all the software on GitHub
https://github.com/buildwithparallel/haven-manet-ip-mesh-radio
https://blossom.primal.net/c5ac068c47b64fb3133f45550ea019e8cad2113e7e436a38a8a79cb6c1e8de67.jpg

2026-03-25 20:31:26 UTC

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Taxes are illegal (says the guy that pays taxes)

2026-03-25 20:30:09 UTC

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Can confirm @nprofile…ynn0 is all over LinkedIn. Kinda surprised they didn’t put him top middle of their website tbh… missed opportunity

2026-03-25 01:44:56 UTC

GN nerds 🫡🫶

2026-03-25 01:42:58 UTC

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Your site says no products available. Sold out?

2026-03-25 01:40:10 UTC

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It hasn’t shown up. I don’t think I’m seeing all my dm’s. Almost certainly user error or something. Tomorrow problem 😂🫡

2026-03-25 01:33:40 UTC

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🤔🫡

2026-03-25 01:31:49 UTC

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Do you sell it or are you doing research or what’s up?

2026-03-25 01:30:30 UTC

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✅

2026-03-25 01:30:11 UTC

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@npub1a27…a5yp
#nevent1q…x53t

2026-03-24 03:48:00 UTC

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Damn I wish they accepted bitcoin. Those pans 🔥🔥🔥

2026-03-24 02:54:06 UTC

Tried and loved:
✅ @nprofile…j8h0
In the mail, can’t wait:
✅ @nprofile…ltt8
✅ @nprofile…c7xp
✅ @npub19lh…qdzy
✅ @nprofile…zwd2
Hopefully soon:
⚠️ @nprofile…9x4r
⚠️ @nprofile…6uc2
⚠️ @nprofile…j03s
Please let me buy some wine and olive oil and ghee before anyone gives me any more damn ideas 😂🤌🫡🙏⚡️

2026-03-23 10:31:08 UTC

I’ve fixed my own truck and cut my own hair for years to buy more bitcoin.
One strategy I love is to get a quote from a dealership on how much a repair will be for parts and labor. Then I use that number as my own parts and labor fund. I buy whatever tools I need to make the job easier, learn how to do it and do it myself. Then whatever is left over from what the dealer would have charged me minus the cost of the tools I bought is how much bitcoin I earned for doing the job. The more efficient I am with the repairs the more sats I can stack.
Bitcoin changes the way you think.
Yes I know I’m preaching to the choir but it’s all I got.
🫶🫡🙏
⚡️⚡️⚡️

2026-03-23 09:36:42 UTC

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I thought Malta was a mob run island where everyone is a criminal. Maybe I’m thinking of a different place. Isn’t that were the reporter was blown up with a car bomb? Maybe don’t do business with Malta either way?

2026-03-23 01:10:05 UTC

Any day is a good day to count your blessings:
@nprofile…kx06 hodl butter in the fridge (what’s left of it)
@nprofile…zat7 chocolate on the way (hopefully)
@nprofile…v9lh @npub1a27…a5yp edition gamma ripping in the basement
@nprofile…yucj Avalon nano s3 in the mail
Saving up for @nprofile…37cf peony wine, at this point I barely care about the wine. Did you see they put him at the top center of that one pic?! 😂 killing it my dude 🫡
I’m grateful for all you nostriches too 🫡🙏
https://blossom.primal.net/6604fba42baded2e65bd5f9fb381f38d40b19dc77901b6ae58b543b4f0136f64.gif