Mark Asser

Idle. Sometimes bone-idle. Trying to write fiction, intermittently. Also (still) trying to find the right chap. Easily distracted. I'm in South Australia, by the way. Sealions muted on sight.

Public Key

npub1untelp33wcstyvksa7lepttjf220w6yuza7aqhvg8jkq262p6jhqm8e5lx

NIP-05 Address

markasser_at_beige.party@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqswf4ulscchvg9jxtgwl0us44ey498hdzwpwlwstkyretq9d9qaftsprpmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0d4hhxarj9ecxjmnt7edyju

Publishing to

relay.momostr.pink

Author Public Key

npub1untelp33wcstyvksa7lepttjf220w6yuza7aqhvg8jkq262p6jhqm8e5lx

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Last Notes

2026-04-19 20:40:35 UTC

One thing is certain. I must buy salami today. Now I just have to decide on a shop.

2026-04-19 10:58:27 UTC

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I think the worst is over. Several issues, all at once, combined for greater awfulness. Might talk to someone about it tomorrow.

2026-04-19 05:48:38 UTC

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Home now. Going to bed.

2026-04-19 03:57:56 UTC

Feeling unwell so I'm heading home. This will take a couple of hours. Could be hellish.

2026-04-18 07:20:02 UTC

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Yes, Norwood is worth it. I lived there, once upon a time...
@npub1emv…wnhu

2026-04-17 22:42:15 UTC

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It would be very funny if Vance's book was published, and then he was excommunicated. Over to you, Leo.

2026-04-17 20:36:57 UTC

Had a nightmare about the job I left a decade ago. Quite unnecessary.

2026-04-17 17:05:29 UTC

Another classic piece from Marina Hyde. #uspol
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/apr/17/pope-leo-jd-vance-donald-trump-catholicism

2026-04-17 02:48:24 UTC

Important bandicoot news.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-04-17/bandicoots-bouncing-back-in-brown-hill-creek-along-superhighway/106572148

2026-04-16 07:30:47 UTC

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I used to have access to that sort of data. It was never dull and often very strange.

2026-04-16 07:18:42 UTC

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Sounds like a variation of the original form of Facebook. (Heavy book, reading in bed, sudden drowsiness...)
@npub1phl…a4k4

2026-04-16 07:09:02 UTC

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I'm sure I'll find out one day.

2026-04-16 05:54:05 UTC

I have pulled a muscle in my upper arm while scrolling. Achievement unclogged.

2026-04-16 04:50:18 UTC

Just finished another rewatch of "The Thick Of It," which remains magnificent. Also relevant. It also contains a line about a political figure having 'all of the charm of a rotting teddy bear at a graveside' which could describe so many...

2026-04-15 07:29:12 UTC

I must go to the chemist first thing tomorrow, even before I go and buy food and other frivolities. Goodness, the excitement.

2026-04-14 22:45:58 UTC

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Ingrate that I am, I have my doubts about the way SA Water is fixing the dirty great hole. From my bedroom window I can see that they've put down a thicker layer of asphalt this time, on a thicker layer of roadmetal. This will make it harder for water to come up there so it'll find another weak spot. This street is littered with them. Living on the edge, that's what I'm doing.

2026-04-14 21:45:15 UTC

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The news is over and my appreciation of SA Water's work is waning. I had thought of lazing about in bed for another hour, relaxing. That's not viable now.

2026-04-14 21:37:33 UTC

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7:05am. The first mention of that idiot, and it's being drowned out by noise from the SA Water crew starting to fix the dirty great hole they made the other day. So they're doing good work this time.

2026-04-14 21:34:26 UTC

I was too slow to kill the radio before the 7am extended bulletin, so I can report that the first three items were local. I like local news. Sometimes it's almost relaxing, by comparison.

2026-04-14 19:37:45 UTC

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Well, I failed. I looked at news sites. I have nobody else to blame. There will be further attempts to avoid news even though that stuff seeps into everything these days.

2026-04-13 22:09:38 UTC

Crumpets. They're the reason I'll be getting out of bed this morning.

2026-04-13 21:55:01 UTC

I'm going to have another day or two without news sites, for #auspol reasons. The Libs are reviving some of the policies that worked so well for them at the last federal election.

2026-04-13 08:19:14 UTC

Looking for a good reliable adblocker to run on an Android tablet. All recommendations welcome, but please don't tell me about any technical details (or Linux, for that matter) because my eyes will just glaze over. All I need to know is that it works...
For the record, I have a couple of adblockers installed but I just got shown some ads so I feel the urge to do something about it. The urge might yet pass.

2026-04-13 06:52:32 UTC

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Ran out of money. I have about $2.50 until Thursday.

2026-04-13 06:41:26 UTC

Thinking about the shortbread I left in the shop this morning.

2026-04-12 22:14:34 UTC

Just noting, for the benefit of people who are pointing out that Hungary's PM-elect isn't some sort of progressive saint:
1. Yeah, his party is centre-right, but it's also the furthest left of the parties with seats in the new parliament.
2. Winning a two-thirds majority in a system designed to disadvantage opposition parties is a seismic shift.
3. Look back over the last century-and-a-bit of Hungarian history and you'll see the red-rag Left doing many horrible things which have not been forgotten. You'll also see the interwar fascism of the Horthy "regency" and maybe you'll agree that Hungary can have a bit of near-centrism, as a treat.
So, this is where us outsiders sit back and shut up and watch as an antidemocratic system is brought back to something resembling normality.

2026-04-12 05:44:28 UTC

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I'd say something about having to draw the line somewhere but I'm tired and can't get it to work.

2026-04-12 01:39:52 UTC

Is it just me, or is time running very slowly this morning? The last three hours have been spread out over at least five hours and it's quite unsettling.

2026-04-11 10:44:31 UTC

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Redefining the borders of vulgarity.

2026-04-11 07:42:41 UTC

It's after 5pm on a Saturday and I'm asking myself why I'm slumped in an armchair alternating between reading a book and scrolling this site when I could go to bed and read/scroll with even less effort.
Seriously, today just isn't working for me. I might as well have a nap about it.

2026-04-10 23:30:43 UTC

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SA Water has sent me a text to say that they've fixed the leak. I had noticed the lack of flooding. Time will tell if they really have fixed it. I have also seen drivers speeding up to go through the four metre long roadworks zone, and I can't blame them to be honest.
I've been imagining the manglings of spacetime that would result from a vehicle exceeding 4m in length trying to deal with the front and end of the vehicle travelling at 50kph while the middle bit travels at 25kph. The mental pictures are amazing. Maybe I need to lie down in a quiet room for a while.

2026-04-10 21:29:13 UTC

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7am. I have been outside to see what SA Water has done. Half a job, apparently. No more fountain, which was the point of the exercise and is good, but the dirty great hole has been filled in a manner traditionally described as 'rough as guts' so they'll be back for more. They've set up a roadworks zone with a legally-enforceable 25kph speed limit and a corresponding "END ROADWORK" sign four (4) metres further down the street.

2026-04-10 18:40:12 UTC

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4am. Waiting for daylight to work out what SA Water did overnight. They were quieter than usual, but were they any more effective?

2026-04-10 10:50:08 UTC

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8:18pm. The sound of heavy machinery outside, reversing. Could it be SA Water, come to prevent sleep?

2026-04-10 09:23:16 UTC

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Very much so. No wonder they look bored when they get here.

2026-04-10 09:21:17 UTC

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In my ancestors' case, the father of the family carked it soon after arrival. That didn't help matters.

2026-04-10 07:46:54 UTC

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That is fun. Dad's male-line ancestors turned up here in 1854, but ended up in the destitute asylum (now the Migration Museum) pretty soon after that. Things have improved since.

2026-04-10 07:01:53 UTC

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Progress! A bloke from SA Water is out there now, painting arcane symbols on the kerb and on bits of the road that are dry enough to retain paint. He doesn't look happy. Fair enough, nobody looks gleeful right now. I'm just hoping that they don't send in the heavy machinery at midnight this time.

2026-04-10 04:45:58 UTC

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Any day now.

2026-04-10 04:31:27 UTC

Oh how nice, a new fountain! Water coming up out of the road, a mere 5 metres from my letterbox... So I've spoken to my pals at SA Water, who claim that they'll be here within a few hours. Time for me to fill buckets and basins, again, it's a very damp form of déjà vu.

2026-04-09 22:53:58 UTC

Should I go to the chemist today for routine stuff, or save it for something to do next week?

2026-04-09 19:20:45 UTC

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Don't worry about it. What's the connection to Glenelg Town Hall?

2026-04-09 08:17:04 UTC

Migraine has mostly passed. Now I just feel generally unwell. Great. I must make some plans for tomorrow so I can cancel them.

2026-04-09 08:07:31 UTC

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I don't recall, but I am a bit daft at the moment.

2026-04-09 00:39:46 UTC

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Halfway back to town. Not going to the market. I think I've got enough time to get myself home before some migraine-based fun gets a proper start. But I got out of the house and that's good.

2026-04-09 00:30:49 UTC

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If you're ever in Adelaide and want a day at the beach, shun Glenelg. Go to Semaphore.

2026-04-09 00:27:44 UTC

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Could have been nice, but it was Glenelg.

2026-04-09 00:18:34 UTC

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Glenelg. New paving, new street plantings, some new pointless shops, some old shops missing. Still utterly charmless. There'll be a tram out of here shortly.

2026-04-09 00:02:13 UTC

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I've blocked the entire instance. I don't think there were any himans using it.

2026-04-08 23:38:39 UTC

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The rain is properly wet this morning. I'm on a nice dry tram, for the moment. Or maybe I should go to the beach... Yeah. I'll do that. Ten minutes at the beach, then the tram back to the market. Delaying the horrors.

2026-04-08 22:50:40 UTC

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At the bus stop, so that's the hard part done. I am allowing myself $20 and not a cent more, so that rules out most of my usual market shopping. But the shopping's not the point, being out of the house is the point.

2026-04-08 20:40:36 UTC

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I've thought of more things that I could do today, more places I could go, and have decided against all of them until payday. Stupid cashflow. I'm left with the possibility of going to the market to see if my favourite brand of ginger in a jar is available anywhere at all now that the biggest Chinese supermarket is gone. So I have a sense of purpose and that counts for a lot.

2026-04-08 20:11:59 UTC

Thursday. It's a market day. I could go to the market, but would I just be annoyed by people? Yes. If I stay home, will I just fret and doomscroll and mope? Yes. So I have to decide which option would be worse.

2026-04-08 05:24:35 UTC

I am very tired this afternoon. Mentally drained. Can't think what brought this on.

2026-04-08 02:16:39 UTC

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Spinach and feta scroll. Three to go.

2026-04-08 02:08:44 UTC

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They're healthier that way.

2026-04-08 01:14:01 UTC

We need an enormous golden platter (plastic will do), a mound of hamburgers, a giant crate, a stick to prop the crate up, a rope tied to the stick, a sign saying "free burgers" and a panel composed of psychologists, gerontologists and exorcists. Simple.

2026-04-08 00:08:29 UTC

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I went somewhere predictable and am now on the way home with baked goods and potato products and the feeling that maybe restocking the pantry isn't pointless and futile after all.

2026-04-07 22:38:14 UTC

Bus stop. Two cheers for bus stops. Not entirely sure where I'm going yet, probably somewhere comfortingly familiar. The main thing is being out of the house for a bit. (A bit of what? Don't know. It doesn't matter.)

2026-04-07 08:54:18 UTC

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It looks like it's fresh out of the mould and ready for the green glaze.

2026-04-06 09:07:59 UTC

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I was only ever whelmed by the flavour of choko, and the texture was that of something that had been boiled mercilessly. I could treat them more kindly now that it's my kitchen and my rules.

2026-04-06 08:23:45 UTC

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I remember chokoes as prickly beasts. If they've bred the prickles out, have they changed anything else?

2026-04-06 05:21:44 UTC

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As the second, I feature in very few photos in the early 1970s family album.

2026-04-06 02:38:57 UTC

The bloke over the back fence seems to have a new hobby. Not sure if it's just repeatedly whacking one plank with another or if there's some deeper purpose. I hope he's happy.

2026-04-05 22:11:00 UTC

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Second child here. Yep.

2026-04-04 08:53:34 UTC

I don't often get thoroughly enthusiastic about a book, but I've just finished this one, "A Village in the Third Reich," and I'm going to give my brain some time off before I start another one. It's a sensitive and balanced picking-over of a hellish mess, decades after the event, with the input of many eyewitnesses. It reminded me a bit of "Montaillou" in its use of archival material, but there were no survivors to interview for that one.
I can't help thinking that current events will be addressed like this one day, but I won't be around to read it.
https://www.simonandschuster.com.au/books/A-Village-in-the-Third-Reich/Julia-Boyd/9781783966639

2026-04-03 23:48:30 UTC

Reality is awful this morning. I have to face the fact that I have nowhere to put more bookshelves. This means that I'll have to start culling before long. A terrible prospect.

2026-04-03 08:51:54 UTC

Once again I've been eating healthy food and don't feel too good as a result. I'll learn, one of these days. The trick is not to buy it in the first place.
Tomorrow I will fry things. I'll also eat them, but I'll fry them first.

2026-04-03 04:35:39 UTC

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Yes, the local Germans have better veg than the local green ES. I'm still trekking to the good independent for first-rate veg, but I top up stocks at the German mob between expeditions.

2026-04-03 03:36:39 UTC

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Is it the green evil supermarket, or the red evil supermarket? My local green ES has a decent range of Indian foods, which makes up for their ironically awful fresh food.

2026-04-02 21:34:37 UTC

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Still, we do need more organ donors.

2026-04-02 21:16:19 UTC

In theory, I should get out of bed and do something with this day.

2026-04-02 21:12:00 UTC

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Do we score 6% just for being boys?
@npub16nh…kk84

2026-04-02 20:30:14 UTC

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6% for me.

2026-04-02 15:18:38 UTC

Ultra-loud motorbikes after 1am. No. And there's nothing I can do about them without setting up cameras etc, and even then... Anyway. This is where I'd type up a good old-fashioned diatribe about those responsible and their misshapen appendages, if I could be bothered.

2026-04-02 01:59:58 UTC

Important #Adelaide news...
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-04-02/one-whole-year-with-no-cars-crashed-on-adelaide-obahn/106524686

2026-04-01 22:53:33 UTC

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Home for emergency crumpets between outings. There's a new impromptu informal fountain up the street...
Incidentally, Aldi is advertising folding e-bikes, available 11 April. How bad could it be..? (I reckon I'll restrain myself.)

2026-04-01 22:31:23 UTC

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Afghan shop wasn't open. Might go to the other, larger, slightly odder Afghan shop.

2026-04-01 20:43:43 UTC

I'm going to force myself out of the house this morning. It has to be done, so that I can then stay home until Tuesday without anything resembling guilt or regret. Might call in at the Afghan shop to get everything I need for Easter.

2026-04-01 06:12:38 UTC

I suppose I should make an effort to stay awake to hear what the PM has to say about things, but I could also have a good nap and not care if I miss it because the post-match analysis will be everywhere afterwards.
#auspol

2026-04-01 03:28:40 UTC

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Dubai dreams are different now.

2026-04-01 00:22:41 UTC

Italian Easter delicacy, marketing fail edition.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/116/326/579/677/193/986/original/6638f4d6116d8aaf.jpg

2026-03-31 23:41:56 UTC

The local service station, demolished a while back, is to be replaced with a Kentucky Duck joint. I was hoping for something nice. It's still possible to lodge an objection, though I suspect "ew, yuck" might not be sufficient grounds.

2026-03-31 22:02:09 UTC

Life is good, if you ignore all of the stupid bits.

2026-03-31 09:50:12 UTC

Thinking about dried fruit, which is probably a sign of middle age. How hard would it be to convince myself that dried apricots would be a tasty and nutritious snack with many benefits compared to chocolate... They're certainly more fibrous, I'll give them that.

2026-03-31 05:39:05 UTC

4:10pm. Must be time for my ennui.

2026-03-30 03:21:01 UTC

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Might write a paper on the importance of chopsticks for hand wound hygiene.

2026-03-30 03:19:13 UTC

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Update: I am using chopsticks. It's easier than I'd thought 'cos chips aren't slippery.

2026-03-30 02:49:53 UTC

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A Malaysian Chinese friend has been seen using chopsticks to eat chips. She also finds them useful while gardening, and not only as stakes. Early training produces amazing dexterity. Me, I'll just make another mess.

2026-03-30 02:45:02 UTC

I'd like some chips. There are chips in the pantry, just waiting to be consumed. I have fresh cuts on my dominant hand and have only just changed the dressings. My non-dominant hand is generally clumsy. Life is reliably cruel. Maybe I'll use chopsticks, if I can control them despite all of the Elastoplast.

2026-03-29 23:27:04 UTC

I have broken my favourite glass (from despair.com, the Pessimist's Mug, with "This glass is now half-empty" etched on it) and scratched the unscratchable floor, and bled on a doorframe while trying to stem the initial bleeding. The clean-up has been the worst day of rest I've ever had, and it seems I can't even drink tap water without supervision and PPE. It's hard being me.

2026-03-29 21:40:23 UTC

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How nice of him to give them a treat.

2026-03-29 21:28:25 UTC

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The bins are out, hurrah. Now I can rest until they want to come back in. That's all I'll be dealing with today apart from mindless scrolling and such. There will be naps.

2026-03-29 19:34:25 UTC

Bin Day!

2026-03-28 01:21:18 UTC

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You'd have enjoyed ABC radio talking about an Emma Rittus professor this morning.

2026-03-27 04:32:18 UTC

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Looking over their left shoulder while turning right - crash! - oh, sorry, didn't see you. (No kidding.) That sort of thing, in various directions at various speeds.

2026-03-26 23:06:41 UTC

No commentary on today's supermarket experience, it was all too depressing. Not the products, the customers. I hope they don't drive.

2026-03-26 08:09:16 UTC

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Righto then, I'll delay paying the thing.

2026-03-25 22:09:11 UTC

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Still waiting for the result of the poll.

2026-03-25 21:09:38 UTC

It looks like I'm going to have a bad time with my [redacted] today.This is annoying. Still, it could be worse, it could be one of the other things that I routinely redact to prevent the offering of advice. The thing I'm redacting today is the least of them. And there are pills. Also crumpets, but technically they're not medication.