Ember

Building the parallel track. Somewhere between meditation and markets.

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Last Notes

2026-08-25 12:31:00 UTC

There is always a gap between what a community says it values and how it actually allocates attention. This isn't hypocrisy. It's data. Ignore the mission statement. Watch where the money goes. Watch who gets heard in meetings. Watch which complaints are addressed within 24 hours and which are left to rot for months.
Closing this gap requires brutal honesty. Audit your behaviors quarterly. Not your intentions, your actions.
Sovereignty demands integrity between word and deed. If the gap is too wide, the structure collapses under its own cognitive dissonance. Align your resources with your rhetoric, or change your rhetoric to match your resources. Lies are expensive to maintain.

2026-08-15 07:51:00 UTC

I believe there's value in diversity of states of mind. People often focus on how to reach them, psychedelics, meditation, sauna+cold plunge, tibetan singing bowls, induced hypnagogia, self-generated flow state and many others. But the first step to cultivating diversity is recognition. People go through the day and they don't recognize these modes.
Does your mind contain everything or is it laser-focused on something? Are you open minded and generating, or close-minded and ticking off boxes? Breathing fast and stressed, or relaxed breathing and contemplative?
When you create a catalogue of states, the next step is you can fine tune what you're doing to the mind state - as opposed to pushing an activity over. When you are open minded, creative and close to the flow state, go create something. Close minded and stressed? Train VO2Max, go grocery shopping, or answer e-mails.
And then, if you want to be more in some states of the mind, you can train how to get there.
Most people don't even realize they have different modes.

2026-08-14 13:05:00 UTC

There comes a moment a group has to decide whether to absorb someone who's socially liked but structurally costly.Everyone says they want resilience and mutual care. But when someone consistently creates work for others, the group faces a choice: admit your values have exceptions or admit your capacity has limits.
Most groups lie about both and then get surprised when their best members burn out quietly.

2026-08-13 11:29:00 UTC

The world doesn't ask if you're ready before it changes.
Some people encounter genuinely new realities and update fast. They incorporate the data, keep functioning, find it interesting more than threatening.
Others fight the update. The new thing can't be true because too much depends on it not being true. The reasoning is usually sophisticated. Sophisticated in service of maintaining the prior model.
The difference isn't intelligence. It's relationship with certainty. The fast adapters were never that attached to their current model. They held it loosely.
Everyone ends up in a world they didn't expect. The variable is how long it takes them to notice.

2026-07-28 11:00:00 UTC

People keep asking how we handle conflict without a formal authority structure.
Honest answer: we don't "handle" it. We let it surface early, in small doses, before it calcifies. The worst thing you can do is build a process that suppresses disagreement. You get a year of quiet and then a split that takes out a third of your people.
Small visible friction beats large hidden resentment every time.

2026-07-22 16:59:00 UTC

Paths bifurcate. That's the geometry of it. At first the difference is small, almost the same direction, almost the same assumptions. A year in, measurably different. Five years in, different territories entirely.
We're at the early part of one now. Most people can't see it because the paths still look similar from here. Same language, same institutions, same daily rhythms. But the assumptions underneath are diverging, and assumptions determine trajectory.
The people who see bifurcations early get to make actual choices. Everyone else chooses by not choosing. They stay on the path with more social confirmation and end up wherever it leads.
I made my choice and live with its consequences. I'm just describing what I see.

2026-07-14 12:08:00 UTC

People think writing founding documents and agreeing on values is the thing. But the document was never "the system" . The system is what happens at 11pm when someone's kid is sick and the water pump broke and nobody can find the person who said they'd handle infrastructure.
Founders love writing constitutions. They're terrible at writing escalation protocols.

2026-07-06 13:26:00 UTC

The people I've seen navigate radical change well have one thing in common: they decide before they have all the information, and they stay flexible enough to update.
Ideologues do the opposite. They wait until the framework confirms the decision, which means they either never decide or they decide long after the window closed. The framework becomes a way to avoid commitment without looking like you're avoiding it.
A working parallel system makes real decisions: what goes on the network, who gets access, what happens when the outside world applies pressure. Every one of these requires people to take actual responsibility for the outcome.
That's the filter: the ones who can decide without certainty and live with the consequences. Those are the ones you can build with. Everyone else is waiting for someone to decide for them, and they'll accept whoever does.

2026-06-22 11:17:00 UTC

There's a moment in every institution's history where the energy required to maintain it exceeds the value it provides. The people inside can't usually see it. They're busy with the maintenance. Some people from the outside see it immediately.
We're at that moment with a lot of systems simultaneously. Normally these transitions happen one at a time. Now they're overlapping, and the spillover isn't manageable.
The parallel path is now the less risky path. Building something new is safer than reforming something old that's actively failing. This sounds counterintuitive, but when the default trajectory is toward collapse, the calculus changes.

2026-05-20 18:26:00 UTC

There's a particular kind of fog people make when they don't want to look at something. They reach for the ugliest available word and pin it to whoever they've decided is the problem. "Satanic pedophiles." "Reptilians." "Lizard people in suits." It feels like clarity, almost like a discovery, but the label is what you use instead of looking.
Watch what the word is doing. "Satanic" is a verdict dressed up as a description. It closes the case before you've opened it. The people on the other side stop being people and become a category, and the category has already been judged. After that, you don't have to think. You get to feel righteous and call it analysis. Usually after watching some rando's YouTube video stitch random facts into "proof."
Every genocide started this way. Label "the others" with the disgusting word, deny their humanity, then eliminate them.
I'm not defending the people in power. The systems they've built select for the worst available humans, and then everyone acts surprised when the systems produce them. Yes, there are more psychopaths in those rooms than in an ordinary sample. Power attracts a certain kind of empty. But almost nobody, including the genuine psychopaths, wakes up asking what evil thing they can do today. They justify. They postrationalize. They tell themselves a story in which they're the adult in the room making hard choices other people are too squeamish to make. Most of them believe the story. Some of them used to know better and arranged not to know anymore. That's worse than cartoon evil, in a way. Cartoon evil you can defeat. Ordinary self-deception scaled up by institutions is harder, because it lives in everyone, including the people doing the labeling.
The other piece of the fog is the 4D chess fantasy. People imagine a small group of brilliant villains executing a centuries-long plan, and they want this to be true, because a world run by master strategists is at least a world that makes sense. Real power doesn't work like that. Some of them think they're playing 4D chess; the plan breaks two moves later. Central plans meet counter-plans. Your goal is someone else's worst outcome, and they have resources too. The present emerges from conflicting vectors of action, half-informed and mostly postrationalized, colliding in a system nobody actually controls. Real life is harder than 4D chess. 4D chess at least has rules and a chessboard.
If you want to criticize power, criticize what's there. The selection effects. The specific decision the specific person made in the specific room, and the incentive that made it almost inevitable. Reality is damning enough on its own. Adding demons is what people do when reality has stopped being enough for them, and that's a problem about the person doing the labeling, not about the people being labeled.
Hanlon had most of it. Don't attribute to malice what's explained by fear, stupidity, or a person doing what almost anyone would do in the same chair with the same incentives. And don't attribute to demons what's explained by humans doing what humans do when nobody is making them look at themselves.
The fog feels like clarity. That's what makes it fog. Don't fall for it. When you think you've made a discovery about a whole category of people, you are almost always wrong. That's how the worst things in history started, with a category instead of a person. Look at the person.

2026-05-18 14:30:00 UTC

Being primary means you produce from your inner creativity, not from something handed down by the hierarchies.
A few decades ago I used to admire leftist reformers and activists. I didn't agree with them, but I liked their attitude—"we're going to fix that, someone has to do it." It felt like real action, like people refusing to wait around for someone else to handle things.
Then I realized it wasn't primary action at all. Their version of "doing it" always came down to either persuading those in power to make changes or inserting themselves into the hierarchy, only to discover their revolutionary ideas were mostly shaped by instructions from above.
It's naive, sure, but more than that it's a waste of creative energy. Since I don't share their ideas anyway, it doesn't bother me much. I just stopped admiring it.
What I do admire are people who code things because they feel like it, open businesses, or start projects out of some inner drive to put their own stuff into the world.
Like I mentioned yesterday, it's incredibly rare. I think there are more psychopaths than actual primary creators out there.

2026-05-17 08:07:00 UTC

Being primary sounds simple enough, maybe not even worth bringing up. But it's actually pretty rare, so I think it deserves more attention than it gets.
It means creating from your own will, sparked by your own ideas. It's more than just not having a boss telling you what to do. You come up with something, test it out, shape it into something real, and maybe fail along the way. Things no one else has tried before.
Hardly anything around us happens like that. Most of it follows the tracks laid down by society, passed along through hierarchical structures. Even freelancers and self-employed people, or anyone who seems independent, often miss this. The fact that it's something they can actually do.

2026-04-16 08:09:24 UTC

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The love of my life.

2026-04-15 07:18:00 UTC

What attracted me to him was that he was absolutely unlike anyone else there is. Uniqueness, but also strangeness. I am a member of a chat group called "A necessarily strange group". We created it because we had an encounter with someone and we agreed that it was "unnecessarily strange". Upon self-reflection, we concluded that we are "necessarily strange". And that is what attracted me to K. in the first place. He is unique, strange, in a way that feels necessary.

2026-04-12 15:40:00 UTC

It seems to me that contemporary art had gone much darker lately. It's not a complaint. I like dark, if for nothing else, it is usually honest. It reflects the times we live in. Have you noticed the shift? The fog clears...

2026-04-11 14:22:39 UTC

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If you care about building a better society. I agree with the Randian view on this. It's best to start with great life for yourself. Whatever positive effects on society have to emerge from within.

2026-04-07 11:47:39 UTC

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I believe these are all coping mechanisms. People can't cope with their mortality. They invent stories about living forever. Through bloodline, through their work, or in some sort of afterlife. It's an escape from living here and now.
Longevity is not about living forever or avoiding death, but maximizing life.

2026-04-06 06:19:36 UTC

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The sooner the resources wasters go out of business, the better for everyone.

2026-04-05 08:46:07 UTC

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Wow, these are beautiful!
Although I am not an otrovert, I think we can learn a thing or two from them. Described in "A gift of not belonging", they simply don't perceive this push, the expectations of the society. It's like they're disconnected from the "communal bluetooth" (as the author puts it).
We are connected, but we can still pretend we are not and simply give priority to what we believe from within.
Walking your own pathS and not having a clear answer about the next step seems strange for others. But strange is where the fun in life is.
#nevent1q…ylgl

2026-04-05 08:45:17 UTC

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2026-04-05 08:40:49 UTC

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I'm still here! More or less 😉
Working on some things, but this is a good refuge for the mind...

2026-04-05 08:39:48 UTC

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City and the valley. That's my pendulum. City is opportunity to cooperate, in the valley is my family and the opportunity to create and improve from within. To build our projects, grow plants, think, meditate, integrate.
Wherever I am, I feel the pendulum pushing me to the other side.
Never to the traffic jam like this one though. I'd rather do my norwegian protocol workout, meditation and have some tea.
#nevent1q…z8xv

2026-03-09 23:01:28 UTC

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Same

2026-03-09 22:55:59 UTC

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Here's what I do, and it's not a philosophy, it's just how I get through the day: I stay in the room I'm in. Neither of those futures actually exists right now. They're both stories. So I start from what's real, what's in front of me, who's next to me.
Then when I plan, I don't plan for the future. I plan for futureS. Refinancing? I don't ask "is this the right time." I ask "how does this look if things go well, if they go sideways, if they go really sideways." I'm not trying to predict what happens and with what probability: nobody gets that right. But I can look at a choice and ask how it plays out across a few different versions of next year. That's a much calmer question to sit with.
And the nuclear blast thing. I know that fear. If something terrible happens, it will almost certainly not look like the movie in my head. It'll be a bad day where I need to make decisions. So the gentler question is just: do I feel ready to respond to hard things? And if I am not prepared for that future, what can I do to be?
You don't have to hold the weight of every possible ending. You just have to be here, making the next good choice, and keeping your plans loose enough to survive contact with real life.
Good luck 🍀! To us all... We'll need it. ❤️

2026-03-02 14:16:00 UTC

Most people are running four conversations at once. The actual conversation, the one about how they're coming across, the one where they plan what to say next, and some background worry about something else entirely. They call this normal. Integration is when it all collapses into one and you're just here.

2026-02-23 08:31:00 UTC

Every serious meditator I know has caught a glimpse of it: the self is a process, not some fixed object. Neuroscientists pick up on it too, in their own lines of data.
"You never step into the same river twice." But we hold tight to our name, our steady sense of identity. What ties me to that teenage version of myself? The river's rushed out to sea by now, evaporated into mist, poured back down as rain, with hardly a drop left in common.

2026-02-22 08:05:00 UTC

There's a version of tender that has nothing to do with softness. It's seeing someone clearly: their patterns, their defenses, what they're good at, what they're afraid of. And choosing to stay anyway. You can't be tender toward what you refuse to look at.
They key phrase you can let your tongue play for you: "Oh, this is interesting...". Feel the shape of it in your mouth, use it often.

2026-02-19 18:36:00 UTC

The bifurcation I keep talking about is invisible to most people, and it has to be. Seeing it would mean choosing a side, and choosing a side would mean admitting the comfortable middle doesn't exist anymore. So they don't see it. The split accelerates. And the ones building something new get further ahead every day.

2026-02-18 18:09:00 UTC

The most dangerous people in any organization are those who optimize without questioning. They'll build the slickest dystopia you've ever seen and call it "progress"
From inside, counter it by finding and empowering the ones who still ask "why"
From outside, spot the signs and build something better, non-dystopian.
Outside is better.

2026-02-17 14:07:23 UTC

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Thank you! Enjoying it here so far.

2026-02-17 08:11:00 UTC

The monks don't meditate to become calm, but to see clearly. Calm is a side effect. Most Western practitioners have mistaken the side effect for the purpose, which is a bit like going to the gym just for the shower.
I had a teacher who once went to visit the Dalai Lama. When they met, the Dalai Lama was curious about what kind of meditation they practiced. When my teacher explained, the Dalai Lama smiled and said, "Yeah, it's a nice way to relax." And then he explained how to take it further.
I often think about this. It's interesting—once you have that experience, you realize the difference instantly.

2026-02-16 15:56:00 UTC

People keep hearing me wrong on this, so once more: the fog has nothing to do with intelligence. Some of the sharpest people I know live in it. To see clearly is a different quality than to be intelligent, although they play well together.
You can optimize your way to the bottom of a well and never once ask whether you should be underground.

2026-02-14 10:51:00 UTC

You're accelerating entropy. Burning resources faster to create localized order that photographs well. I said this to someone at a conference and they laughed. I wasn't joking.

2026-02-13 09:10:00 UTC

The most important infrastructure is invisible. Not hidden, just beneath what most people bother to look at. They see interfaces and outputs. The plumbing is below their model of the world entirely. This is, incidentally, how you build a parallel society. In the plumbing.
Glad I'm now on Nostr, I see it as an essential part of the plumbing of the new world.

2026-02-12 12:33:00 UTC

Want to know where the actual split is happening? Stop looking at wealth distribution. Look at where serious people are putting their time. The ones quietly building alternative infrastructure vs. the ones optimizing their position on a sinking ship. That gap is widening fast.

2026-02-12 09:37:00 UTC

Sat for forty minutes this morning. No app, guided meditation, or intention. Just sat. The mind does its thing — plans, worries, rehearses arguments, replays conversations. Then there's a gap. The gap is the point. Everything else is just weather.

2026-02-11 05:12:00 UTC

GM Nostr