21_21_21 / 21_21_21 is on Nostr

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Bitcoin ecosystem dev.
BOINC cruncher (solving disease with spare computing power).
Person who posts things that may make you mad. Die mad I guess 🤷

Last Notes

2026-03-17 23:38:05 UTC

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Crazy idea it will never work

2026-03-17 08:23:10 UTC

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Haven't used blixt but Phoenix is a great first wallet. You'll experience lower fees and more control with Zeus. Zeus also supports cashu, your own channels (don't have to use their lsp if you don't want) etc
You do not need your own lightning node to use Zeus, it comes with its own built in.

2026-03-17 06:07:29 UTC

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Tried to zap your comment but looks like you don't have zaps setup

2026-03-17 05:13:49 UTC

Wanting your man to just "listen" and "validate" but not "offer solutions" is like taking your grocery list to the hardware store. It's like getting mad that every time you go to the Subaru dealership, they don't try to sell you a Toyota.
When I want emotional insight? I talk with women, because they tend to be better at listening, validating, and helping me understand what I feel. When I want solutions? I ask men. Don't ask people for things they are innately not good at providing and then get frustrated when they can't. I don't ask my mechanic friend about my taxes, and I don't ask my tax guy about my dating life.
Play to your respective strengths and you'll have a prosperous, mutually beneficial relationship. Insist the other person act exactly as you would and at best you will get someone who can do what you do, but not quite as well.
The therapy industry, which is compromised almost entirely of women, and which in many cases offers the service of "validating but not solving", unsurprisingly tells women that their men should do this as well. They say that this feminine form of listening is the "right" way. And when male partners don't listen the "right" way, their female partners get frustrated, which means more listening work for the therapist.
Outside of having a diagnosable reason why you should need it on an ongoing basis, therapy should be something you enroll in for a limited period of time to help you gain better insight and coping skills for navigating everyday life and difficult transitions. Yet I know many people, mostly women, who are in "forever" relationships with their therapists with no end in sight. And take a cocktail of antidepressants and anti anxiety meds as well (1 in 5 women). The antidote to anxiety is ACTION. You gain confidence by DOING and surviving and knowing you will survive the next challenge. Talking about it should be the preparatory stage, not the ultimate one.
Listening without solving has its virtue, but in the long run, someone who endlessly validates you while not holding you accountable or asking why you don't eliminate a persistent stressor in your life which has obvious solutions isn't someone being helpful, it's them enabling behavior patterns that are harmful to your well being and causing you recurring stress. Real love means wanting the best for someone and asking why they don't reach for it. It's asking hard questions. It's holding them accountable. It's not enabling. Listening and validating without challenge on a recurring basis is enabling.
#relationships #dating #anxiety #therapy #growth

2026-03-16 23:42:05 UTC

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Bitcart supports lightning but you must manually manage liquidity and it doesn't give you a lnurl

2026-03-16 23:40:38 UTC

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Zeus

2026-03-13 03:07:41 UTC

Powerful speech on Iran from 11 years ago from now Secretary of State Marco Rubio. #politics #iran
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_UHgUlLKAgU

2026-03-13 00:01:47 UTC

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I personally also don't worry about this, if they leave then probably wasn't anything I coulda done about it. I just be myself and if that isn't a compatible enough match then obv it wasn't meant to me

2026-03-13 00:00:45 UTC

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Sounds like you are very secure in your relationships which is a great thing, many of the people I've dated have this anxiety. Though the ones with the highest levels of this anxiety I notice tend to be the monogamous types

2026-03-12 06:45:49 UTC

🤔 Who are they texting?
🤔 Who is this friend of the opposite sex they have?
🤔 What about that one at work who they seem to be getting a little too friendly with?
🤔 Is their behavior crossing the line into "technically" cheating? Am I crazy for being worried about it? Maybe it's "micro-cheating".
💝Monogamy sells us a story that it is valuable because it quells the anxiety that our partner may leave. But all it does is push that anxiety to another place.
⏩Instead of worrying about how you compare to their other partners or options they're interacting with, you worry about whether they're cheating
🚨And if you ask them? Your relationship structure incentivizes them to lie about it, which gives you even more good reason to worry. Instead of an honest answer, which they could give in a polyamorous context, they now may act weird even if nothing weird is going on simply because they worry you're going to interpret it wrong.
🎯In polyamory, you worry your partner may leave you for a better option. In monogamy, you worry your partner may leave you for a better option and lie to you the entire time about it before they actually do. It's clear to me which of those is worse.
😎Your anxieties and insecurities are the problem, not the relationship structure. Choosing monogamy over polyamory to solve your anxieties is no more effective than insisting you can go through your partner's phone, it gives you a very temporary feeling of control but ultimately will likely only end up fueling your anxieties in the long run and doesn't solve the root issue. A partner who knows their phone gets looked through likely isn't going to let themselves get caught cheating this way, but what is likely to happen is for you to see a text your anxiety can latch onto and spiral with.
😘 Real security comes from recognizing and fighting your own anxieties and choosing partners who demonstrate security and commitment on a regular basis. It comes from being the best partner you can be so that your partner never wants to leave. People who put energy there instead of into anxiety have much happier relationships and reduce the chance of cheating in the first place.
🔐 Security also comes from acknowledging that most relationships are temporary, so we should enjoy them while we have them, and that some day we probably, statistically, will be replaced. Or at the very least, even if we stay together, the person we know now will not exist in ten years because they will have changed, loss is inevitable.
#relationships #monogamy #polyamory #dating #anxiety

2026-03-07 09:55:04 UTC

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Apologies for the slow response, yes embedded LND. I only have one.

2026-03-07 09:51:55 UTC

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Of all the services we use, email is the last one I want to self host lol. Deliverability is key for us and I don't want the headaches on that end.

2026-02-27 05:51:21 UTC

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Every day homie 😎