Mama's Pinky Toe

A wish is a dream is a smile Jesus Christ who writes this crap. 

Just My Toots: Mama's Pinky Toe (npub1re9…2mgp)">https://justmytoots.com/Mama's Pinky Toe (npub1re9…2mgp)

Public Key

npub1re96me77752m50j9h726hd8lnfpjpcx93huz8mtk5v3rfxkgh4jq6u2mgp

NIP-05 Address

mamaspinkytoe_at_mastodon.world@momostr.pink

Profile Code

nprofile1qqspujadul0029d68ezml9dtknle5sequrzcm7pra4m2xg35ntyt6eqpz3mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerpd46hxtnfduqs6amnwvaz7tmwdaejumr0ds0ezww2

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relay.damus.io

nos.lol

Author Public Key

npub1re96me77752m50j9h726hd8lnfpjpcx93huz8mtk5v3rfxkgh4jq6u2mgp

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Last Notes

2026-09-18 23:14:03 UTC

Dogs are better than a snowmobile. You can't eat a snowmobile.

2026-08-22 19:45:53 UTC

- reply

All I know is they make delicious shish kebab.

2026-08-22 17:24:15 UTC

A pushmi-pullyu eats at both ends and shits in the middle.

2026-08-13 18:33:05 UTC

My job is . . .

2026-08-09 19:42:12 UTC

This is what you come out to.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/117/067/248/232/036/550/original/6c878e4499359add.png

2026-08-09 15:30:14 UTC

Did Jesus wear flip-flops?

2026-08-01 01:44:05 UTC

- reply

It's like camo--a functional item repurposed for identity.

2026-08-01 00:02:36 UTC

The backwards baseball cap is the bro hijab.

2026-07-26 19:27:14 UTC

Not now. I'm playing Pong on Mitch McConnell's EEG.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/987/921/949/063/823/original/3b423f495898a6e7.png

2026-07-25 21:06:14 UTC

- My bra size?! MY BRA SIZE IS 1 800 FUCK YOU!
- Mother. Those construction workers didn't say a word to us.
- They didn't have to. I knew what they were thinking.

2026-07-19 22:11:27 UTC

Driving an electric car is . . .

2026-07-15 20:37:24 UTC

- Lesbian thespian.
- Not even a set-up?
- OK. Marcy Carsey is a lesbian thespian.
- That's better. But Marcy Carsey is a producer. And she's not a lesbian.
- I don't care. She rhymes.

2026-07-14 02:35:28 UTC

- reply

Myrtle was playing bocce.

2026-07-14 02:19:15 UTC

I met a woman at an old folks home today--Myrtle! She might be the last one.

2026-07-11 12:08:36 UTC

Taylor Swift will give her baby . . .

2026-07-08 12:35:21 UTC

Schrödinger's senator

2026-07-05 02:58:42 UTC

Jeb!

2026-07-03 19:31:47 UTC

In case you've been following his career . . .
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/857/705/601/274/212/original/ec8754a2ed490257.png

2026-07-02 21:10:45 UTC

TIL
There is a show called "Chicago P.D." and it has been on the air for 14 years.

2026-06-28 22:49:04 UTC

Where will the greatest number of Martian Teslanauts die?

2026-06-23 16:51:12 UTC

Spot the hat.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/800/449/031/856/237/original/531fd2320ff439ff.png

2026-06-10 19:50:48 UTC

If it's a problem, it requires a beer.
If it's a serious problem, it requires two beers.

2026-06-08 20:04:02 UTC

I asked the zoo if I could borrow their giraffe and they said why and I said it was for a cancer kid and they said no.

2026-06-05 19:21:40 UTC

She put a backwards baseball cap on her dog and a muzzle on her husband.

2026-06-05 01:39:42 UTC

I need a fancy hunting coat. Not for when I'm hunting but for when I want to feel fancy.

2026-05-31 16:20:30 UTC

Fuck it. I'm getting a neck tattoo.

2026-05-26 23:44:06 UTC

I can't tell if John Fetterman's neck bolts are too tight or too loose.

2026-05-26 13:43:49 UTC

Fetterman is a DINO.

2026-05-23 16:29:26 UTC

If your mother were a car, what kind of car would she be?

2026-05-21 16:37:54 UTC

A bow tie is . . .

2026-05-21 03:11:21 UTC

I prefer . . .

2026-05-19 13:34:45 UTC

When Donald Trump dies, he will be a corpulent corpse.

2026-05-17 17:38:11 UTC

Why are the Democrats always cursed with at least one senator who's a fucking pain in the ass?
#Fetterman

2026-05-16 23:20:40 UTC

The Pornologue
The Shittist
The Fun Book of Death
The Complete Apocryphal

2026-05-16 17:14:09 UTC

I would rather . . .

2026-05-15 19:10:59 UTC

No thanks. Av is going to have to lick himself.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/580/170/539/433/384/original/a795356e7e42a76e.png

2026-05-11 18:09:01 UTC

Belgium is off-brand France. Belgium is the Knotts Berry Farm of Europe. Belgium is Hydrox.

2026-05-10 21:16:26 UTC

1. Lethal injection
2. The director's cut of "Blade Runner"

2026-05-10 19:05:59 UTC

Is Ted Cruz the Zodiac?

2026-05-08 19:27:40 UTC

I live four blocks from a Quonset hut.

2026-05-06 14:20:16 UTC

I'm not a bad bean. I'm just overextracted.

2026-04-11 18:14:21 UTC

New Jersey is a hotbed of Italian-Americanism.

2026-03-28 09:19:47 UTC

Some see the Beatles as half dead. I think of them as half alive.

2026-03-08 19:53:32 UTC

I would rather be . . .

2026-03-01 01:44:11 UTC

- reply

In truth I'm in San Francisco maybe once a month (and Daly City seemed like a good non-transbay place to commute from). It's the most picturesque big city kind of near the film capital. No doubt Tokyo is cleaner and even more beautiful.

2026-03-01 00:09:26 UTC

I work in San Francisco. I commute by giant sandworm out of Daly City.

2026-02-23 17:51:27 UTC

Thirsty.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/116/121/212/008/422/848/original/d313d98b10ec5f03.png

2026-02-14 17:19:14 UTC

I would rather have . . .

2026-02-14 05:28:42 UTC

- reply

It is! It is about you! (Actually, there was a New Yorker cartoon with a number of happy women wearing "Judy" buttons and the caption "Judyism." So this is half a steal.)

2026-02-07 15:47:47 UTC

Today I learned the science of rubbing is called "tribology."

2026-02-01 00:10:59 UTC

My favorite disaster is . . .

2026-01-12 14:49:43 UTC

The word of the day is . . .
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/115/882/673/626/223/191/original/5459541bd5bdd2fd.mp4

2025-12-22 21:41:27 UTC

You're meeting friends for brunch. Do you still eat breakfast?

2025-11-24 03:39:46 UTC

Gee, Your Hair Smells Like Gwyneth Paltrow's Hair

2025-11-10 22:55:12 UTC

- I think I'll go into the arts.
- Anything in particular?
- I don't know. Something rich people will pay for.

2025-11-03 02:20:49 UTC

Jackie O and Melania both prove a woman will marry a lizard if he's got a billion dollars.

2025-09-29 04:02:06 UTC

If you are zaftig and your sister is cruel, she may say, "Pregnant lady coming through! Pregnant lady coming through!" because she is so fucking funny.

2025-09-21 18:17:47 UTC

They gave him a fucking Hitler haircut.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/115/243/656/216/921/894/original/d1249ee5afddc6d4.png

2025-09-10 14:28:20 UTC

The trick is to make someone fall in love with you before they figure out who you really are.

2025-09-06 17:38:34 UTC

- reply

There's an emoji for everything.

2025-09-06 16:44:50 UTC

Hurricanes are God's punishment for America's homophobia.

2025-09-05 21:40:42 UTC

I'm smarter than I seem, thank God.

2025-08-27 20:44:55 UTC

My lizard brain wants me to shoot out my tongue and catch a fly. The rest of my brain wants Cherry Pop-Tarts.
#SponsorablePost

2025-08-27 20:27:31 UTC

If somebody stinks--and I mean really, really stinks--they're probably a dead body.

2025-08-19 01:54:09 UTC

Vigorous sex. Angry sex. Fred and Ethel Mertz sex.

2025-08-17 21:59:39 UTC

Technically, it's not an emotional support buffalo. It's an emotional support bison.

2025-08-15 17:20:20 UTC

There was a kid in our junior high school who found a dead body. He was weird but finding a dead body made him cooler for a while. He never found another one, though, and people kind of lost interest in him.

2025-08-07 18:46:12 UTC

I wonder how long you could live trapped in a 7-Eleven. Two years I bet.

2025-07-10 22:17:28 UTC

If your dog could teach you one thing, what would you want that to be?

2025-07-06 23:58:08 UTC

- I'm not like you guys. I'm not clever.
- But there are different kinds of clever! You can open a door, can't you? Does that make you clever? You say it doesn't? But suppose you can open a door--and you're a dog! You're a dog that can open a door! Now that is clever, really and truly it is.
- So you're saying I'm clever?
- Absolutely! You're like a dog that can open a door.

2025-05-29 18:33:57 UTC

Elon is a richer man than Stephen, and he's a bigger Nazi.

2025-05-28 00:33:56 UTC

If your name is Booger Jr. your dad's name is Booger but everyone calls him Big Booger and you are super Southern.

2025-05-25 20:40:16 UTC

- reply

They had more range than he did.

2025-05-19 00:45:09 UTC

Gary, Indiana, was named after Gary.

2025-05-14 22:51:00 UTC

The day you switch from semiclean underwear to semisemiclean underwear is the day you absolutely, definitely, no two ways about it have to do the laundry.

2025-05-05 17:07:59 UTC

- reply

I looked them up this morning, and then the ad appeared on YouTube. If I recall, the charity is real but not as broad as their name suggests.

2025-05-05 16:24:30 UTC

I googled Kars for Kids, and five minutes later YouTube served up this preroll. "Don't be evil," my eye.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/456/140/542/125/562/original/b0dba768f0e369ed.png

2025-05-05 07:20:13 UTC

At one time the most famous ZIP code in America was 60609.

2025-05-02 21:10:21 UTC

Flag Day is to be renamed Fuck You Day, except in the South, where it will be known as Fuck All Y'all Day.

2025-05-02 05:14:07 UTC

I can't tell if he's humping the bike or the bike is humping him.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/436/510/770/429/162/original/0b53459b9f070049.png

2025-04-29 03:24:15 UTC

- reply

He was no Luigi.

2025-04-29 03:12:48 UTC

All I know about the Unabomber is he lived in the woods and ate a lot of SpaghettiOs.

2025-04-29 03:11:05 UTC

You are bullshit. I am antibullshit. When we meet, I will destroy you.

2025-04-29 02:28:21 UTC

I have not been elected prime minister of Canada. This is what the people want, and I accept that.

2025-04-28 20:45:32 UTC

Why is the barista always cooler than me?

2025-04-22 14:57:50 UTC

I am in love with . . .

2025-04-09 18:00:06 UTC

I like salacious stories out of Canada that the newsreader introduces by saying "Oh, Canada!" They're usually not that dirty, though.

2025-03-30 22:59:57 UTC

No one goes into acting hoping to play a prostitute in a Steven Seagal movie.

2025-03-30 05:06:51 UTC

If James Bond were real, he would have handled someone like Elon Musk by now.

2025-03-30 04:19:09 UTC

I wonder if JD and Usha did the dirty in Greenland.

2025-03-29 21:26:09 UTC

Amber Ruffin, guilty of JWB
https://bit.ly/3QVDhVW

2025-03-29 20:38:09 UTC

JD was a fat kid, so maybe don't bully him too bad.

2025-03-27 23:13:31 UTC

Canada is breaking up with US because of HIM.

2025-03-27 19:37:42 UTC

Would you sell one of your ears for $10?

2025-03-27 19:26:37 UTC

Liza Minnelli has had two movie abortions.

2025-03-25 18:01:06 UTC

Not all members of Trump's cabinet are as smart as he is.

2025-03-25 16:43:30 UTC

Guys, I've got some bad news about Toonces.
https://s3.eu-central-2.wasabisys.com/mastodonworld/media_attachments/files/114/224/063/147/931/376/original/bc465cedd4217c08.jpeg

2025-03-25 16:23:40 UTC

I would rather get a ride with . . .

2025-03-25 16:19:23 UTC

I am willing to be paid $50,000 to visit Qatar.
#SponsorablePost

2025-03-24 19:13:27 UTC

I left my wallet on the train this morning. A man I have never met will hand it off to me on the last train this evening. I think I may have gotten mixed up in espionage.