SQLAllFather

Business Intelligence, Data Governance, Kittens, Heavy Metal, Food, Fighting, and anti-Fascism. Microsoft employee, all views are mine not theirs. He/Him/His.

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nprofile1qqspmwengsgxwfrh4kzddr5wm90c4px0qp8a8vyad2hakc00hwcey7spz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerfw36x7tnsw43q6zlxe6

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Last Notes

2025-07-05 20:55:38 UTC

Sinners is fantastic. Best movie I've seen all year, probably much longer. Holy crap.
#sinners #movies

2025-04-21 11:30:25 UTC

I have a new addition to my home office: an intrepid crow with his trusty cat and squirrel companions.
A few months back I saw pictures of @nprofile…9q8r 's work, and knew I needed something of my own. I could not be happier.
#crows #squirrels #cats #art
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/114/375/607/905/605/070/original/0007bf836a1872d0.png
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/114/375/636/468/602/478/original/06b3ecd7dfb71f10.png

2025-03-23 15:10:42 UTC

If you every wish you had more strangers asking you questions in the produce section, buy all the chilies at once.
#food #cooking
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/114/212/375/110/062/014/original/99eeb2b092302b56.png

2025-03-07 13:53:42 UTC

I think more about the Butlerian Jihad these days than my younger, geekier self could ever have expected.

2025-02-25 16:05:30 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
What is that target made of?
Of all the cutting targets I've used and seen used... this isn't one of them...

2025-02-13 17:25:26 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
I'm triggered by this.
How is he supposed to maintain edge alignment on any cut when his pommel isn't even vaguely lined up with his blade??
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/113/997/733/320/438/902/original/5a776d539845d5ef.png

2025-02-12 22:04:56 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
I don't dare click on that link.

2025-02-12 21:59:17 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
And dad bods.

2025-02-12 21:27:35 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
They were embarrassed you have plastic knuckles and not just metal ones?

2024-12-26 22:53:23 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
I've never seen anyone unhappy when receiving a new sword they "didn't need."

2024-12-18 15:50:20 UTC

It's nice to see the privacy implications of "smart" appliances making it into the mainstream press.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2024/dec/18/is-your-air-fryer-spying-on-you-its-time-to-stop-buying-unnecessary-smart-devices

2024-12-18 15:09:25 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
The closest I've gotten is this: https://youtu.be/33TkOYTv2RE
Trying to do something like this (or often anything involving sharps at all) at an event is pretty much impossible these days due to the difficulties securing insurance. 😞

2024-12-18 14:21:26 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
OMG this but with sharps and tatami.

2024-12-17 21:11:53 UTC

The holiday season is officially here!
In my kitchen at least, it's Christmas time when the navel oranges are ripe enough for me to make my favorite holiday recipe.
#Cooking #Holidays #Candy #Food
https://ssbipolar.com/2018/12/09/recipe-candied-orange-peels/

2024-12-09 00:01:23 UTC

Sunday is pizza day in my house, and today that included pizza for dessert.
One of the kids had made a double batch of homemade marshmallows to share with classmates during finals week, and they were kind enough to spare a few. The "sauce" is Nutella, and the end product is heavenly.
#pizza #dessert #food #cooking
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/113/619/903/315/174/011/original/eec7d092f0a1d6d1.png
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/113/619/903/722/435/343/original/6609cac977a5b59c.png
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/113/619/904/128/928/151/original/f68299631298097f.png

2024-11-22 17:40:10 UTC

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@nprofile…luus @nprofile…vu7l
It was a tough call. Everyone except my opponent seemed to believe I'd made the wrong choice.

2024-11-22 17:22:10 UTC

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@nprofile…luus @nprofile…vu7l
I once had my longsword tang break while sparring, and I found myself with a ball pommel in my throwing hand, at perfect throwing range...
I only mimed throwing it while stepping back out of measure, but the urge sure was strong.

2024-11-21 14:57:50 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
I've been spoiled for most of my HEMA career, as my Seattle-based club has a great friendship with swordmaker Angus Trim. The upside is that I have twelve beautiful ATrim sharps and got them all direct from the maker... the downside is that I paid for twelve beautiful ATrim sharps...
The last time I visited his shop he had a leaf-bladed one-hander, and it handled and cut like a dream. I hope your longsword exceeds all your expectations when you get it.

2024-11-21 14:08:25 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
I've had this beauty on order for 18 months now, with no ETA in sight. Maybe this qualifies as a sword from the future?
https://www.arms-n-armor.com/blogs/news/gustav-vasa-rapier-spotlight

2024-11-21 13:47:04 UTC

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@nprofile…luus
I'm not impressed - all of my swords are from the past.
I want to know how much a Sword From The Future would be worth.

2024-08-18 18:01:26 UTC

Pizza day!
There's still half a peach pie left for dessert, and we'll have pizza pie for dinner to kick things off. The dough looks so beautiful!
#pizza #baking
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/112/984/316/221/798/391/original/a4ac72b743a7dfb0.jpg

2024-07-13 15:43:32 UTC

Maggie has been missing me all week, shunning my wife and sleeping on my side of the bed. I expect her to be pretty happy when I get home tonight... but please don't tell her that I'm leaving again in the morning tomorrow.
#Caturday
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/112/779/939/001/411/648/original/3089d66c914cfef7.png

2024-06-29 22:32:32 UTC

To start things off, The cherries simmer in water for ten minutes.
2/
#food #cooking
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/112/702/277/980/988/080/original/a45884a5ab3d90aa.png

2024-06-26 22:38:40 UTC

My Monday evening plans finally coming to fruition.
#Food
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/112/685/314/033/569/093/original/b92fce67f4ae994a.jpg

2024-05-30 22:21:31 UTC

I can only imagine that when you have lived a life committing an endless series of obvious and overt crimes without the slightest consequence, even the smallest degree of accountability must feel like unfair persecution.
#Guilty #Felon

2024-04-18 16:09:36 UTC

I'm 90 minutes away from ABQ, and am actively stalking my favorite restaurant.
This will be my first stop after I leave the airport
I will eat here every day until I fly home.
This will be my final stop before I return to the airport
Yes, it's that good.
#ElPatio #Albuquerque #Food
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/112/293/081/894/987/267/original/a0e0d45266fda41d.png

2024-04-18 15:33:06 UTC

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@npub15cd…3mv2
Sample one: Excellent
Sample two: Ok
Sample three: Difficult

2024-04-13 12:40:42 UTC

Three very different cats for #Caturday
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/112/263/946/068/261/772/original/18e51a0ebd52a52c.mp4

2024-04-04 23:37:26 UTC

Whoever hired the security team for the new campus was NOT fucking around.
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/112/215/572/708/374/942/original/5b1dd9aed3fcdec4.jpg

2024-02-18 02:07:41 UTC

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@npub1xsy…cevg
I took the plunge when I realized I watch more YouTube than any other streaming service. No regrets.

2024-01-13 23:25:22 UTC

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@npub1xsy…cevg
We got this alarming message an hour ago. Wondering what the morning will bring.
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/751/217/892/491/957/original/00bf1d754670611e.jpg

2023-12-23 02:28:05 UTC

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@npub1v2k…j0fr
Some might say that represents the best possible outcome. Best of luck!

2023-12-23 02:13:25 UTC

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@npub1v2k…j0fr
Three hours later, how well does this post age? 😊

2023-11-19 20:37:47 UTC

Gentle laundry day snores
#CatsOfMastodon
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/439/132/892/819/377/original/5d4e35138e85cd46.jpg

2023-11-18 13:24:27 UTC

Starting #Caturday off the right way.
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/431/765/282/462/252/original/8cc80a666736a0a1.jpg

2023-10-16 23:54:43 UTC

Today mostr.pub became the first host I blocked.
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/247/385/551/032/625/original/483e63e12bc1842b.png

2023-10-16 23:52:12 UTC

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How awkward - I shared the wrong link to the wrong session deck. Here's the correct link:
https://1drv.ms/p/s!AmkY4n6hoTDGt6sO0czC1RVXF2r4Tg

2023-10-16 21:22:06 UTC

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Omg she's snoring so softly and perfectly. 😍
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/246/790/777/111/143/original/dd1c8013f57cc115.mp4

2023-10-16 21:17:10 UTC

Maggie says my lap is probably warm enough, but she needs more testing to be sure.
#CatsOfMastodon
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/246/766/279/363/923/original/d66e31b6a7bfbb89.jpg

2023-10-16 18:55:22 UTC

Something I wasn't ready for when I became a people manager: team members leaving my team because their long-term career goals can be better met elsewhere in the company.
I can only assume that this is what it will feel like when my kids get married, but until then please understand that I'm feeling a little fragile today. One of my people, just promoted to Principal based on their amazing work and impact, is moving on. Although I know this is the right move and I wish them the best, I'm still not ready. 😢

2023-10-16 17:12:22 UTC

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@npub16hx…hsg0 I have so many fond memories of that time we drove through the desert in our VW bus. Those were the days.

2023-10-16 15:43:07 UTC

Wife: Did you sleep ok? You look tired this morning:
Me: I was up a lot last night. Today I'm St. George erotic fan fiction.
Wife: What??
Me: I'm fucking dragon.
Wife: ...
#DadJoke

2023-10-16 13:57:06 UTC

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@npub1ept…jcl3
Fingers crossed for high-quality pet photos taken with the new phone. 🤞

2023-10-15 23:41:52 UTC

Daft Wullie loves it when I sit on the couch watching history documentaries and playing games on my phone.
#CatsOfMastodon
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/241/672/552/291/546/original/d73fe0972c5f8f91.jpg

2023-10-15 17:57:11 UTC

Ok German data platform community, please start organizing a lot of events in February 2025.
https://manowar.com/tour/

2023-10-15 13:45:30 UTC

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@npub1g3j…69f8
(clicking desperately through site looking for comic)

2023-10-14 16:04:32 UTC

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Thanks so much to everyone who joined me this morning!
If you're interested in the slides I used in this session, you can download them here: https://1drv.ms/p/s!AmkY4n6hoTDGt5cPQuVA-e45p5QKmQ

2023-10-14 12:22:48 UTC

Today is SQL Saturday Boston!!!
At 10:00 in Room 5 I'll be presenting "self-service BI as a two-edged sword" to help attendees get the greatest return on their investments in data, analytics, people, and tools... while also having a little fun along the way. I hope to see you there!
#PowerBI #Fabric #BestPractices #swords #SQLSatBoston #SQLSaturday
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/233/325/105/796/251/original/cb11a0f71c2483c8.png

2023-10-12 21:16:07 UTC

I've always presented YouTube videos and delivered most online presentations when standing up. I'm considering using a less formal, more conversational pose for an upcoming planned video series. I wonder if this will work...
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/224/097/573/063/636/original/3cbf66c51e7d7535.jpg

2023-10-12 15:26:27 UTC

I like to have fun with my team meeting agendas. I wonder if the intersection of people who get this joke and people who think this joke is funny will be the empty set.
Like with all of my other jokes.
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/222/736/986/086/360/original/b1f5fa6bd429e2ca.png

2023-10-12 10:13:17 UTC

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@npub10tx…crtk
Very well said.

2023-10-11 21:40:06 UTC

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https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/218/545/542/165/052/original/6400ab7a7af9b4ea.png

2023-10-11 15:51:37 UTC

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@npub1g3j…69f8
Zach.

2023-10-10 21:34:33 UTC

YouTube recommended, Past Matthew approved.
I may have seen a few funnier things in the intervening decade, but probably not very many.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3lScCvnkEQ
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/212/858/381/851/180/original/e628d958aacc56e8.png

2023-10-10 17:42:22 UTC

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Not to get anyone's hopes set too high, but now that I have started figuring out my new home office and video setup, I might just start producing more videos for my not-just-swords-and-squirrels YouTube channel.
#teaser
https://youtu.be/4g-lYmBuHWs

2023-10-10 15:53:24 UTC

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@npub1vnx…6evd
I had a very similar challenges when setting up Spectrum internet in the new house last year. Infuriating.

2023-10-10 13:44:47 UTC

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@npub1rle…8hku
Yes?
What sort of feedback are you looking for? I have experience, but not sure how to make valuable or generalizable.

2023-10-09 21:28:33 UTC

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@npub1fde…x980
FA > FO > LOL

2023-10-09 19:14:15 UTC

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Ok, what if I take the false edge false edge same-side double cut and us this as the starting point for a TRIPLE CUT. That would be sweet AF. Can I make THAT work?
No. No I cannot. At least not today.
#swords
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/206/644/165/434/840/original/a8d682caf652bf3c.mp4

2023-10-09 19:11:53 UTC

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Ok, what if I make BOTH of the cuts false-edge cuts? I've never tried this, or even seen anyone try it. Can I make that work?
Huh. Why didn't I think of this when it mattered?
#swords
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/206/641/661/255/748/original/9282edf5b96ee28e.mp4

2023-10-09 19:10:26 UTC

Ok, so... that same-side double cut I couldn't complete successfully at CombatCon this summer... can I do that but with the additional complication of the initial cut being done with the false edge?
Huh. Yes. Yes I can.
#swords
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/206/634/188/504/317/original/d8f4d63d6f1a4f17.mp4

2023-10-09 18:42:50 UTC

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@npub10ly…dy0d
I JUST bought a new sword less than a month ago, so yes. Yes I might.

2023-10-09 16:32:47 UTC

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@npub10ly…dy0d
Please don't tell anyone, but this video was in part a trial run to figure out my new home office setup for recording new BI Polar videos. With a little luck, I'll start turning those tips I shared for my work anniversary into bite-size videos, and maybe get back on that horse I fell off as the pandemic got up to speed...

2023-10-09 12:01:46 UTC

New blog post and video: My personal tips to improve your professional communication.
The post and video are both short and sweet, but this technique is in many ways the "secret to my success" that lets me amplify my strengths and thrive despite my weaknesses.
I hope you check it out!
https://ssbipolar.com/2023/10/09/five-questions/
#CareerDevelopment #Communication

2023-10-08 21:21:37 UTC

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Ta-da!
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/201/488/904/818/292/original/fb9378b706e8553f.png

2023-10-08 17:50:19 UTC

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I get to use a new feature! It's not a new-to-product feature, but it's definitely new to me.
My home office has multiple large skylights. This is normally a good thing, but when I'm trying to record a video and it gets brighter or darker minute to minute, it can be a challenge.
DaVinci Resolve has amazing color correction features, and one of them is grabbing a reference still to use when adjusting the color grade for another clip. I can easily juxtapose the two, and do my amateur best to match them. I'm ridiculously excited!
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/200/645/171/835/079/original/0a61eb034cb2888b.png
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/200/647/379/965/689/original/de926efa6d56134f.png

2023-10-08 16:32:03 UTC

Today I get to remind myself how awkward it is to record and edit video of myself talking.
Hopefully by the end of the day I'll have a new video on my work-adjacent YouTube channel. If I do, this will be the first new original video since... 2020. Ugh.
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/200/336/510/445/166/original/32f5538ff1b5e88f.png

2023-09-16 11:20:51 UTC

Data Moshpit is like the best metal festivals. Festivals let you experience all sorts of bands you might never otherwise see perform live, but which you might actually love. Today's lineup includes sessions for devopers, administrators, BI professionals, analysts, and more. There's something for everyone, and it's all metal.
#DataMoshpit #metal
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/111/074/539/604/130/851/original/9a4443927424e903.jpg

2023-08-30 11:51:01 UTC

Today is the first day the cats have been out of our bedroom since our home renovation started in early July. It's going to be fun watching them explore and find what's new and different.
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/110/978/411/381/414/414/original/f271823c4123a6ab.png

2023-08-27 00:06:30 UTC

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Cartilage: The articular cartilage is grossly unremarkable.
Ok, WTAF would make something unremarkable be grossly so?
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/110/958/657/309/392/470/original/08b764334580ecff.png

2023-08-24 18:50:18 UTC

I think I just realized one reason why my stress level has been so elevated week: I have an MRI scheduled for tomorrow morning.
For the past six months (six months!) I've been having problems with my knee. It hurts to walk and stand, I walk with a limp most of the time, I have trouble sleeping because I can't get comfortable... that sort of problem.
I've been doing physical therapy, I've tried a variety of prescriptions to treat possible causes, I've taken any number of inconclusive tests. None of this has really helped, and none has given my doctor a clear diagnosis. My insurance has finally approved an MRI, and tomorrow I get the test that should show what's actually going on inside that damned joint.
So I'm even more anxious than usual. It's not the test I'm worried about, it's what comes next. The MRI will be a big step to learn if we say "this is the treatment" or "this is your life from now on."
FFS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlYXqRG7lus

2023-08-20 18:15:52 UTC

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@npub1fpa…na6s
Thank you!
Reading their product descriptions makes me feel inadequate to select, purchase, or use one of their keyboards.
I'll see if the Razer I have ordered does the trick, and will keep this one in my queue as a backup.

2023-08-20 17:53:32 UTC

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@npub1fpa…na6s
The "15+ types of flashing light mode" in the product description is worrying to me. Does it also have a "never ever flash because flashing is obnoxious" mode?

2023-08-20 15:48:39 UTC

Can anyone recommend for me a new PC keyboard? I'm looking for a keyboard with these characteristics:
- QUIET
- Backlit keys for typing in low light
- Full set of function keys separate from the navigation (home, end, etc.) keys
- Wired USB preferred, wireless acceptable
My ideal keyboard will be as close as possible to the typing experience on a ThinkPad.
Thanks if you know of something like this and can point me to product listing or provide the specific make and model!
Please only respond with a specific and currently available product (make and model) or ideally a link to an online store product page. I've done my research and haven't found anything I trust enough to buy sight unseen, so if you respond with a vague answer you will be part of the problem, not part of the solution.
#keyboard #keyboards #recommendation

2023-08-15 15:38:08 UTC

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@npub16hx…hsg0
Huh.
I never would have guessed. Who knew?

2023-08-10 16:56:17 UTC

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@npub1yzy…6q8n
I assume they're concerned someone is trying to send you Megadeth lyrics.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOnKCcjP8Qs

2023-08-08 15:30:23 UTC

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@npub1yzy…6q8n
I love your photos - thanks so much for sharing!

2023-08-07 12:44:45 UTC

Me: searches "microsoft fabric community" on Bing.
Bing: Here are thousands of worthless, unrelated results! #enshittification
Me: searches "microsoft fabric community" on DuckDuckGo.
DuckDuckGo: Here at the very top of the search results page is the exact site you need.
Me: I guess I need to update my default search engine on my work profile as well as my personal profile. FFS.
---
I've seen a bunch of people complaining about how Google has become worthless in recent months, but I have not seen any reduction in my web search experience. I guess moving to DuckDuckGo years ago was a good move.
#Bing #Google #DuckDuckGo #Search

2023-08-02 21:00:01 UTC

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@npub12qf…py58
The final season of Barry.

2023-08-02 20:57:26 UTC

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@npub12qf…py58
Moderation has never been my forte. It's a blessing and a curse.

2023-08-02 20:46:28 UTC

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@npub12qf…py58
Happy happy, joy joy!
It'll probably be a few weeks before I can block out this much leisure time, but this is going to jump to the top of my queue.

2023-08-02 20:31:08 UTC

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@npub12qf…py58
Are all of the episodes available yet? I've been waiting, not not really paying attention...

2023-08-02 19:52:00 UTC

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@npub13u5…8aau
I hate to do this, but they will send you one if you give them money.
https://www.kultofathena.com/product/lk-chen-saxony-german-rapier

2023-08-02 16:37:20 UTC

I swear to god this is the most expensive mailing list I have ever been on.
#swords #sword #rapier #PoorImpulseControl
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/110/820/993/531/414/583/original/7c89aa69ff793db4.png

2023-07-19 22:24:54 UTC

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@npub1su4…a0dw
Headline is disappointingly misleading.
The article quickly establishes context and contradicts the headline. 🤨

2023-07-19 18:34:57 UTC

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@npub12qf…py58
I'm just wondering why Battery 1 isn't allowing me to work unplugged. Having each battery be a single point of failure in a multi-battery laptop is unexpected.

2023-07-19 18:28:12 UTC

Today I learned that I can only use my laptop when it's plugged in, despite having two batteries.
How exactly does this work?
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/110/742/150/499/344/908/original/1e0e839de8010441.png
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/110/742/151/413/133/751/original/ed4ec91ae6ef0238.png

2023-07-13 12:12:20 UTC

Five years ago today I deleted my #Facebook account.
This may have been the single best action I have ever taken to improve my mental health.
11/10 - cannot recommend highly enough.
#DeleteFacebook

2023-07-02 13:54:31 UTC

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With the view definition updated, I am now left with three child areas that have multiple countries as top-level parents.
Huh.
I think I might have to admit that there are some problems even Fabric cannot solve.
4/4
https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/110/644/814/738/717/906/original/d92b95a9cd5a4952.png

2023-07-02 13:49:58 UTC

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The final hiccup was working to figure out why some areas have multiple countries as top-level parents.
Apparently this data model treats island territories (it's mainly, but not exclusively islands) as both their own parents and as children of the countries to which they belong.
(Please note that I'm not trying to make any sort of political statement here. I'm trying to figure out this data and don't know another way to describe this relationship.)
For example, in this data set American Samoa is a country, and is a child of United States, which is also a country. Faroe Islands is a country, and is a child of Denmark, which is also a country.
Thanks to Fabric, I can discover this oddity relatively easily, and update my view definition to better meet my stated "business" requirements.
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https://files.techhub.social/media_attachments/files/110/644/782/791/797/843/original/ac4599f1dc34e77b.png

2023-07-02 13:41:18 UTC

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So far I have used a notebook to load into my bronze lake all of the tables I'll need, and I'm using the SQL endpoint (❤️ ) to build a view that will return the area_id for every area, and the area_id for its ultimate parent as country_id.
This is where I gave up trying to implement this solution using #PowerBI alone. Although I probably could have built this view as a #PowerQuery, there were too many variables working against me. The source data is located in multiple text files, the schema is belligerently opaque and obtuse, and for a pet project there's only so much nonsense I can put up with at any one time.
With Fabric, I have the right tools for the job, and instead of fighting with Power Query performance when merging large text sources to themselves over and over, I can focus on the data itself.
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2023-07-02 13:32:49 UTC

I'm spending some of my holiday weekend working on my #MicrosoftFabric "Chainmail" pet project. This morning's fun is finding a reliable way to identify what country a given artist is from.
This sounds like it should be a simple problem to solve, but the #MusicBrainz dataset I'm using allows an artist's area to be of any type (country, subdivision, county, municipality, city, district, or island) and their data model is... normalized to death.
Seriously, look at this:
https://wiki.musicbrainz.org/images/d/d4/area_entity_details.svg
https://musicbrainz.org/doc/Area
There's a ragged hierarchy between parent and child areas... and the mapping between them isn't included in any of the documented tables in their documentation.
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