Quenby

trying to survive in the reddest state in the US

actively just saying things because why not?

giving unsolicited advice sometimes

please read the sticky posts.

cover image description: a drawing of a fat bird on a tree branch

profile picture description: a brown and black spotted dog with white paws is standing on a sidewalk

partner in crimes:: Maple 🍁 a mixed breed farm dog
general vibes: currently trying to get a handle on a rapidly changing situation
current craft: knitting for winter

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quenby_at_cutie.city@momostr.pink

Profile Code

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relay.damus.io

nos.lol

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Last Notes

2026-04-04 17:01:42 UTC

Her: I am not sure if you're trying to present as a man or as a butch lesbian
Me: I'm presenting as a human being.
Her: that isn't enough for me to figure it out
Me: figure out what?
Her:
Me:
Her: are you a boy or a girl?
Me: oh I'm an adult but if you're really curious gender isn't one of the social constructs I really vibe with
Her: what social constructs do you vibe with?
Me: pretty cool with North, South, East, West, but I'm kinda not going to participate in Up and Down or Left and Right in socially acceptable ways sometimes
Her: the cardinal directions aren't a social construct
Me: they are

2026-03-13 22:20:52 UTC

Finally convinced my adult learner that:
- everyone educated in Oklahoma in the past 10 years is going to have gaps in their knowledge
- most of the high school graduates she knows can't sit down and pass an algebra test with no practice even if they passed the class in high school
- math is not common sense or intuitive, it's a whole language and she's capable of learning about it
- crying in math class is a human right and a valid reason for a break
I also told her each and every one of you is so proud of her for making this step in life and that you are all sending her good vibes.

2026-02-26 13:56:23 UTC

Me: do you like hot breakfast or like cereal?
Kid: I don't eat breakfast
Me: you don't want to eat?
Kid: I'm hungry
Me: ok well let's get you some food
Kid: can I do screen time now?
Me: no, we don't do screen time before school here
Kid: you don't do screen time ever here
Me: we do limited screen time
Kid: I'm going to tell my mom your house sucks
Me: that's fine, I'm sorry you feel that way but I understand why you do

2026-02-05 19:22:05 UTC

Him: well what's your big brain idea to eliminate food assistance fraud?
Me: universal food assistance
Him:
Me: because there wouldn't be a system to cheat, everyone would just get a check
Him: and who does that benefit?
Me: family farmers and human beings who rely on food for nutrition
Him: what about rich people?
Me: what about them?
Him: you would give them food assistance too?
Me: that's what universal means
Him: you can't do that
Me: yesterday you said I couldn't tax them and now you won't let me feed them either?
Him: they can afford food
Me: then it should be fine to tax them
Him: but if you tax them they won't have as much money
Me: I'm willing to offer universal food assistance

2026-02-04 16:20:31 UTC

Him: they don't have rights
Me: yes they do, both the laws and the courts agree with me
Him: well, they shouldn't
Me: why not?
Him: they aren't from here
Me: well, I, personally, believe that all people should have the same rights
Him: that's new age liberal bullshit, where did you even get that idea
Me: Declaration of Independence, famous new age liberal bullshit
Him:
Me:
Him: *walks off*

2026-02-01 00:20:35 UTC

Him: if we magically got rid of any ethical, practical and moral issues and you could have any wild animal as a pet what would it be?
Me: oh definitely a few giant isopods
Him: what? They live in the ocean.
Me: you let Jessi say dolphins
Him: but people keep dolphins in captivity
Me: not ethically
Him: no but I said no ethical issues or practical issues exist in this hypothetical because magic
Me: AND I SAID GIANT ISOPODS

2026-01-06 18:05:50 UTC

- reply

If I keep at my current pace it would be around 100 but I'm unsure if I want to put in the effort to keep count as it might be annoying

2026-01-06 17:18:30 UTC

How many books do you think you're going to read this year?

2025-10-15 20:11:07 UTC

Regular reminder that if you're being passive aggressive at me I'm just as likely to not realize it as I am to completely ignore it so you don't get rewarded for that behavior.
You'll never know which is happening, so please just tell me what the heck you're upsetti spaghetti about so we can collaborate on a solution.
If you're waiting until you are screaming at people to bring up problems, you're the reason your life is hard. Just talk to people. They will either react poorly or they won't, but at least you won't have to explode to get help with whatever the problem is.

2025-10-11 13:02:21 UTC

Maple broke my glasses last week.
I called my eye Dr and his office is in the middle of moving and can't access my prescription.
Today Maple was unattended and got into my closet and pulled out all my summer stuff and guess what was in there?
My receipt for my glasses, with a copy of the prescription.
I didn't even know I had that and it wasn't in with the other records.
It was just in a folder in a box of things about the Psyche mission.
What a strange Saturday.

2025-10-06 14:58:46 UTC

Talking to a group of parents today about the dangerous social/emotional neglect that leaves their sons vulnerable to online radicalization.
It's not a fun conversation to have but someone has to start the conversation about how to initiate a plan to interrupt and reverse the damage done by leaving boys functionally unprepared for the challenges of growing up in an era where they are targeted by propagandists and grifters trying to make young men into weapons.
Bleh.
Say something nice to me before I go.

2025-09-10 20:54:23 UTC

Check in. How's your day?
🟢 Good
🟡 Neutral
🔴 Bad
🚦 Started ish but it's getting better
🚥 Started ok but everything went sideways
#Wednesday

2025-08-28 21:48:47 UTC

Three Good Things
- there's a Mississippi Kite (a large bird) that has visited the tree by my window 4x this week, he's there now. I love him.
- Maple (my puppy) met a dog that competes in rally and they are going to let her come watch practice in a few weeks and try it out. (Rally is an obedience based competition)
- I saw a red hawk today and I think he saw me. I like to think we saw each other.
#ThreeGoodThings

2025-08-14 01:17:27 UTC

Cool things to donate to a food bank:
- money (they can make it stretch really far)
- pantry staples like oil, seasonings, powdered eggs and mixes that only need water
- protein, canned fish, canned beans, protein powder, dehydrated tofu, etc
- things kids can make in the microwave
- things you can just open and eat without heating
- cash money (my local food bank can feed 15 people for a week for $15 because they get good deals from corporations)

2025-08-04 20:21:29 UTC

Blessings to each and every person who reacts first in group chats so I know what kind of emoji is appropriate in certain situations.
Blessings to the people who talk to the waiter when you're too anxious to ask for a different drink because this one is flat out gross.
Blessings to the humans who work for Chicago Public Schools and for your generosity in sharing your knowledge.
Blessings to librarians who help with research when you're stuck.
Blessings to everyone reading this.
#Monday

2025-07-20 13:31:16 UTC

Me: John* are you serious right now? Get down.
John: what?
Me: you've been told repeatedly by adults to get down, yet I see you're up there again, get down
John: that wasn't me
Me: get down
John: I didn't do it
Me: get down
John: am I going to get in trouble if I don't?
Me: what makes you think you're not already in trouble? Maybe even increasing levels of trouble every second you're up there
John: I'm getting down
*His name isn't John, names have been changed to protect the identity of the kid who won't get off the top of the thing

2025-06-13 15:23:04 UTC

- reply

So in some video games when you're character runs out of health they disappear (die) and then a new one will spawn.
Spawn camping is when someone just waits for the player to spawn and shoots them or whatever as soon as they appear.
Maple was staying too close to the bubble machine so as the bubbles were exiting she was catching them with her mouth before they could go anywhere for other dogs to play with.
Basically she was just hogging all the bubbles as they were made.

2025-06-13 14:54:06 UTC

Maple is in time out for spawn camping the bubbles from the bubble machine.

2025-05-23 21:18:03 UTC

When I had my existential crisis and quit everything I didn't get fired from, I forgot to cancel camp season.
I have 3 camps in June.
It's too late to get out of it.
Please send me a good attitude about this.

2025-04-25 23:37:21 UTC

#squirrel #Friday #cute
https://media.cutie.city/media_attachments/files/114/401/230/144/171/323/original/192bc8980502b489.jpg

2025-04-17 00:40:39 UTC

Maple is learning to open and close doors.
I didn't try to teach her.
She's just figuring it out.
I'm going to have to buy those door knob locks you buy when you have a baby.

2025-03-26 15:18:24 UTC

- reply

I like almost everything except certain subgenres of metal.

2025-03-26 15:15:00 UTC

If depression is past focused and anxiety is future focused and I'm trying to be "now" focused, what musical album should I be listening to right now when I'm trying to survive?
(Looking for interesting music to zone into)

2025-03-21 23:26:57 UTC

Gonna need you not to drag the intellectually disabled/delayed into your rants about people who are actually evil.
The intellectually impaired community didn't break the government.
Fascists broke the government.
Call them fascists.
Also, if you want to argue with me about it... don't.
Today is not the day. You may not give a shit about people different than you but if that's true, please block me. Seriously.

2025-03-14 01:37:45 UTC

Hello.
Guess what?
🐔

2025-03-11 16:56:45 UTC

When I got Maple in December she was so small I could hold her in one hand mostly and was unable to get up onto my bed without being lifted.
About a week later she was big enough to put her paws on the bed but still couldn't jump up.
During this time I trained her to bring something to play with and show it to me for approval before she was helped onto the bed.
She is now easily able to get onto the bed alone without even really jumping.
She's grown so much.
She will still show me what she wants to bring up with her and gets my approval before getting on the bed.
My friend said "she doesn't know she can get up there without permission"
But she knows. She jumps up here to alert me to people at the door or to bring me things without me giving approval.
The toy rigamarole is a little social custom we have that she enjoys partaking in.
It's like how you say "hey can I hang out with you?"
Anyway, the point of teaching a puppy manners is what when they get big they will still have the manners.
She's going to be over 100lbs by all estimation. Manners are the only thing that's going to save us.

2025-03-06 15:46:05 UTC

This lady was approaching us on a skateboard our walk so I told Maple to sit and we stopped to let her pass.
Then she turned around to come back to tell me that my dog was "very good" and she wanted to know what kind she is.
1. All she did was sit. That's a basic thing most dogs can learn pretty easily.
2. She's a fluffy muppet.

2025-02-07 15:14:35 UTC

My brain is overloaded with stress and doom and sadness and etc but I'm still expected to continue functioning.
WTF
I'm rebelling by trying to see a duck today.
If you also want to join me, please let me know if you see any ducks today.
🦆

2025-02-05 18:20:31 UTC

- reply

The geese that live near me are called Canada Geese and they are very large and I can definitely tell they are long distance relatives to dinosaurs. They are very bitey and I love them.

2025-02-05 18:05:53 UTC

Do you love geese?

2025-02-04 03:05:51 UTC

It's time to stop pretending that there's a line he will cross that will collectively wake up the people who put him in power.
They won't.
Anyone who is going to suddenly realize what's happening and why it is bad will not get there through their own process of thought and reasoning.
They gave up critical thinking about their understanding of the world long before they voted for him.
They will be affected, and a few will give up on him but they won't ever admit they were wrong. Don't expect them to help you.
Other than those few, the majority of them will stay dedicated to him regardless of what happens to them. They will make excuses, double down on cruelty, deny reality, replace facts with bullshit and blame others for it.
The media you're watching that has those headlines that imply that there's anything he can or will do to snap them out of it is feeding you lies to keep you from acting.
The only way to fix things is if we are all organized and moving in the same direction.
You cannot do this alone, nobody can.
There are no shortcuts to fix systemic problems.
Things didn't get this way overnight and they won't stop being this way overnight either.
I am doing what I can, when I can, however I can, but this is a numbers game and I need at least 90 million other people to join my efforts.
♥️Some of you are already working in this area and I express solidarity. This post wasn't meant to discount your work but to motivate others to join you.♥️

2024-12-31 19:01:51 UTC

They are never going to be paying more attention than they are right now. The longer they are alive the less novel life will become. Use their curiosity to train them.
Their brain is getting more and more synced up with reality each time they experience something new, expose them to things in a supportive way so they trust you and build a working relationship.
Dogs love playing and they love learning and if you can do both at the same time, all the better.
Don't waste the time when their brain is still plastic enough to avoid issues.

2024-12-23 15:30:28 UTC

Baby 🍁 Maple 🍁 says good morning and Happy Dec 23. #morning #MapleBaby #puppies #pupsofmastodon #puppy
https://media.cutie.city/media_attachments/files/113/702/851/442/269/848/original/b350b6a88c075393.jpg

2024-12-22 17:07:31 UTC

4 years ago I convinced the HOA board to leave the leaf litter for the insects to winter in.
Now every summer we have so many fireflies.
New guy just moved in and asked if he should rake up the common areas.
A literal child stood up to say that he shouldn't because they will not have summer fireflies if he does.
So proud of the little one starting to advocate for the world they want to live in.
6 years told and already learning how to get things done.
The leaves will stay.

2024-12-21 18:54:20 UTC

Hello. Today on my birthday I adopted myself a bestie.
She doesn't have a name yet.
Accepting congratulations and cute names.
https://media.cutie.city/media_attachments/files/113/692/328/457/031/262/original/acf146e53e854726.jpg

2024-12-13 21:02:10 UTC

Fascists don't have beliefs or values, they have agendas.
What is real or true will never matter to them as much as the lies they tell to try to gain power.
They know they are lying. They do not care that you know they are lying.
You will never be able to play "gotcha" with them because they stand by nothing, believe nothing, and have use for nothing except a constant need to hurt people and destroy systems of accountability that get in the way of more power.
They will tell any lie they can to attempt to continue to hurt people and destroy systems of accountability.
They choose the actions first then the justifications second, and the will continue to escalate the situation to gain more and more power.
They don't have a vision for society, they have a list of shit they need to break and people they need to get rid of so they can have the power they want.
That's it.
Nothing they do is working towards anything but trying to centralize power.
Hope this is helpful for you to understand what's going on.

2024-12-08 12:21:07 UTC

The slow-rising central horror of "Watergate" is not that it might grind down to the reluctant impeachment of a vengeful thug of a president whose entire political career has been a monument to the same kind of cheap shots and treachery he finally got nailed for, but that we might somehow fail to learn something from it.
Hunter S. Thompson, 1973.

2024-12-07 16:57:49 UTC

Her: the separation anxiety is driving me up the wall
Me: did you tell him that you're going to come back?
Her: he's a cat
Me: yeah but if you tell him you're going to come back and then when you get back you say "see? I came back" enough times eventually you're going to be able to leave and he's going to know you're coming back
Her: he's a cat
Me: but.... Nevermind.

2024-12-07 02:02:02 UTC

Starting a new habit tomorrow.
Gonna be a tough one but I'm hoping to be successful.

2024-12-01 21:05:34 UTC

This is your December reminder that many popular songs, TV theme songs, hymns, and Christmas Carols are written in common meter so their tunes and lyrics are interchangeable.
Almost everyone knows about how you can sing the song Amazing Grace to the tune of the theme songs from The Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island and vice versa.
But
A lot of people forget that you can sing "It Came Upon A Midnight Clear" to the tune of "House of the Rising Sun"
And I felt
That
You needed to know this.
#Christmas 🎄

2024-11-20 16:34:13 UTC

Grumpy because all my clients today have been iPad kids whose parents are unable and unwilling to interact with them past feeding them and bathing them.
Having a child is very different than having a pet.
Children need interaction from their caregivers. They need to play games with you and talk to you and for you to care about their health and well being.
They are not little props that you buy clothes for and then ignore until it's time for them to be cute on your Instagram again.
If you are abandoning your responsibility to socialize your child, that's neglect.
Children are human beings with social, emotional, physical, and mental health needs. They are not tiny adults and should not be consuming hours and hours and hours of Tiktok.

2024-11-14 17:36:10 UTC

The truth is that nearly nobody has the capacity to care about tomorrow when they are struggling to get through today.
The truth is that humans need each other. Individualism is the reason kids go hungry, why people don't have homes.
The truth is that the "I got mine, fuck you" attitude is the reason we can't have nice things.
The truth is the people in your community that are hurting need you more than ever right now, at the very time many are deciding to abandon them.
The truth is all the hard work I've been doing isn't enough and I feel like the Mother Hen trying to make bread with everyone while nobody wants to help me, except unlike her I still want to share my bread with you.
I still want everyone to feel safe, warm, loved and supported in their life.
Solidarity to everyone who is still fighting. We can't give up now.

2024-10-29 19:00:47 UTC

- reply

Work with kids that have little to no impulse control they said, it will be fun, they said... Etc
I'm ok. Just a little bitten.

2024-10-29 17:52:28 UTC

If a human bites you and breaks the skin they will make you get a tetanus shot even if you're already updated on your tetanus shot.
They will not do it in your bitten arm though, so now both my arms hurt.

2024-10-28 18:18:24 UTC

Teaching kids how to make teddy bear clothes because it reinforces math skills in the areas of multiplication, division, measuring, ratios, and reading and understanding formulas and when to use them. Shhhhhh.............. #mathisfun #bearclothesSKOOL

2024-10-17 15:49:56 UTC

Elderly lady in the nursing home called me to find out if I could come fix her phone.
Unsure what I could really help with I went in with the idea that if it needed to go to the repair shop I would figure out how to get that done.
She was having issues with her notification bar. It was too easy to swipe notifications away accidentally and then she wasn't sure how to get them back.
I made a shortcut on her phone screen directly to her notifications history.
She was so thankful.
I advised the desk lady that I had made the change on her phone and would be willing to come back if she needed me again.
Lady at the desk was like "you want to come back Tuesday and help some more people with this? They all have this issue."
Ok. Tuesday morning, teaching old people to find their notifications.
I hope they all have Androids because I need to look up how iPhones do this.

2024-10-16 11:56:50 UTC

My SIL is a physician in a small Oklahoma town. She buys food for the hungry in her town and distributes it.
She thought she was ordering 40x 5lbs bags of potatoes.
It arrived yesterday.
She ordered 40x 50lbs bags of potatoes.
She has so many potatoes to give away right now.
https://media.cutie.city/media_attachments/files/113/316/974/347/884/914/original/31db845dc449c00b.png

2024-09-20 16:35:33 UTC

Some phrases I found useful this week:
🥉 Can you explain how that comment is relevant to the discussion?
🥈 This is not a good use of my time, so I can't.
🥇 I haven't seen any credible evidence of that happening.

2024-09-16 00:29:12 UTC

- reply

Fancy.

2024-09-15 23:33:12 UTC

If they made an action figure of you, what accessories would you come with?

2024-09-14 01:20:34 UTC

- reply

I have so many moon and star necklaces. I think we get unlimited.

2024-09-11 15:40:18 UTC

Passing out imaginary friends for everyone.
If you don't like any of these, feel free to make your own.

2024-08-27 01:50:49 UTC

HOA: we noticed you are still flying that rainbow flag
Me: is Ralph still flying his gang flag?
HOA: he said he is flying an American flag
Me: No, the American flag is not black
HOA: ok well, it has the stars and stripes
Me: ok my flag also has stripes and the colors red and blue.
HOA: it's not an American flag that's a pride flag
Me: and his flag isn't an American flag, it's a gang flag
HOA: I'll speak to him again about it but you need to take yours down
Me: I will take mine down when he does
HOA: I don't think he's going to take his down
Me: oh well, I won't either then

2024-08-20 22:30:53 UTC

Hello world.
Yes it's me.
Your favorite Quenby.
I'm having a rough time today.
I just wanted you to know that I'll keep going if you do.

2024-08-20 01:37:44 UTC

I'm here to complain that I was subjected to a soap commercial where they referred to the different scents as "flavors"

2024-08-10 19:02:21 UTC

Nobody ever really teaches you how to be a friend or how friends are supposed to treat you outside of extreme cases presented in after school specials.
So I'm here with unsolicited advice.
If you're the type of person who kind of disappears into your inner world sometimes, you should be open about that with your closest friends.
If you're the type of person who exists on vibes and someone was talking to you and now they aren't and you can't figure out what you did wrong, like legitimately it's like they just dropped off the face of the Earth... They might be the kind of person I was talking about earlier and you should check on that before you just make a bunch of anxiety assumptions.