lapt0r

Staff security researcher @ Semgrep

LLM pragmatist

Disappearin' toots because I'm not the same person I was last week, and hopefully neither are you

website: https://malfunctioning.website/
pronouns: he/him/his

Last Notes

2026-05-19 18:42:52 UTC

Vacate every Napster conviction and return the fines, clearly IP laws do not matter to computer

2026-05-18 18:26:12 UTC

ALPRs using camera footage to identify the make, model, and color of vehicles means only one thing...
BRING BACK DAZZLE CAMOUFLAGE
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/596/974/467/547/575/original/9362b00542863e24.jpg

2026-05-06 16:00:34 UTC

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mercuryplastic is the hot new flavor Gen Z is *dying* for (lololol)

2026-05-06 15:50:39 UTC

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fish in general are full of mercury and microplastics now, doubly so for predators like salmon

2026-05-06 15:43:05 UTC

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wild-caught salmon is why I can't do seafood most places anymore. When you grew up eating fish that was in the Snohomish River *that morning* anything that was on a refrigerated truck for more than a couple hours is just mad disappointing.

2026-05-05 16:31:06 UTC

Remember: fascism is perfected on the lower classes first, then applied to everyone. This behavior is coming for you, too.
https://apnews.com/article/immigration-border-patrol-surveillance-drivers-ice-trump-9f5d05469ce8c629d6fecf32d32098cd

2026-05-02 16:08:07 UTC

On the Laurelhurst lifesaving-helicopter-airlifts-for-children drama...
Yeah. Not surprised. The hyperwealthy who live in the PNW are universally megashitlords.
If you *don't* know about this, Laurelhurst is so full of NIMBY ghouls they make life flights with infants on board land outside the neighborhood and *ambulance* to Seattle Children's instead of landing on the roof "because iiiit's noooooiiiiissssyyyy"
There are maybe 3 flights a week.
These are the people pulling the strings of power on both sides of the aisle (but I'mma be real, they Tend To Vote A Certain Way).
Any time a conservative uses a "but the children" argument you are morally entitled to hit them hard enough to dislodge a filling.

2026-05-02 02:00:56 UTC

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fucking cursed. 💯

2026-05-02 01:57:55 UTC

My therapist told me I need a social group so I'm back here and now you are all stuck with my bullshit

2026-04-30 18:50:15 UTC

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HEY EVERYONE THIS GUY IS BUYING BEZOS BONER PILLS

2026-04-30 14:52:06 UTC

Wow the AP really captured ol' Pete here
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/494/218/550/686/998/original/387747202a460003.png

2026-04-29 21:41:06 UTC

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a con of cryptid shitposting as a backdrop for HallwayCon in the woods would be 💯

2026-04-29 20:05:33 UTC

@npub1s6e…n008 when does the CFP for #CRYPTONOTACON open, and do you need review board volunteers?

2026-04-29 19:45:43 UTC

#CRYPTONOTACON
https://media.infosec.exchange/infosec.exchange/media_attachments/files/116/489/708/307/388/820/original/f2674cbf70f9a4d7.jpg

2026-04-29 13:49:15 UTC

Which would be a better leader?
option A: Donald Trump
option B: Leaky trash bag from outside a McDonald's full of discarded Filet o' Fish and Diet Coke

2024-10-13 16:19:22 UTC

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if you're not variant hunting every high/critical bug bounty report you don't have an effective program.
Just from a business standpoint...why would you pay for the same severe bug more than once? This is baby school MBA 101 shit even the most degen bean counters can figure out.

2024-09-22 18:06:47 UTC

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if you're willing to do some Go cargo culting, Hugo is kinda nice if you want to yeet Ruby