I fell into a sleep deprived state where my symptoms were almost entirely dead - the amount of things I was able to do that would cripple me with fear before was like someone flipped a switch, but I didn't know exactly where it came from. While mentally and physically self rehabilitating from all of that, I was picking apart the "why" of it while I had the ability to not be so mentally crippled from it, and I arrived that a big part of it was a life-long irrational fear of paranormal things. The negative things that would occur for me were all based in scenarios that are not possible. Coming right after I basically spilled some of my deepest shit to my mother I had long buried, very possibly correlates to PTSD that I never registered as being that traumatic along with never addressing a very real fear of anything paranormal.
It still manifests, just not nearly as bad as it did for a long period of my life. The thing which really helped me sustain that accidental "second chance" was an article regarding how not to cope with it - OCD is an anxiety disorder based out of fear, and the more you validate that fear, the more it will manifest and control your decision making. I was completely lost by the time I actually admitted I had a problem to my mother, so the thought of saying "fuck you no" was almost impossible. That reset I got was like, having all those years of living with it but now with so much more knowledge on how to cope with it.
I seriously do give you the best wishes for overcoming those fears - I'm not sure how bad it is for you right now, but know that the more you persist and tell that parasite to fuck off, the less it will bother you at all.
