My preference is Umbrel, I have one official “home” server from them and a Pi 4, 8GB RAM + 2TB SSD
They have an Apple style UI and very good. Also they have Tailscale VPN so I’ve linked my Zeus wallet and can pay using my own node in the wild.
A lot of people prefer Start9, but their development is lagging and I have been waiting for their new version for over a year.
It is supposedly more robust, but the UI is more basic and they have no VPN yet.
I prefer not to use Tor in the wild as it’s slow and Phones Tor clients are not the best.
I would get a second opinion on Start9 because I’m definitely not a fan.