I have hope, screw it
I might have bunged stuff up, and that stuff might have been my life, but this isn’t the first time
I can be an entity who contributes, an entity who can be happy, and really just an entity who can be okay with itself
I’ve spent so much of my life feeling like something hopeless, something that only takes, hiding from a world I believe rightly wants nothing of me, seeing myself as something who’s mere presence is a form of harm.
It’s hard to admit how bad I am sometimes. I still sometimes don’t go to class just because I feel like I’d somehow ruin things just by being there. Hide from my own amazing friends I actually want to talk with. Often I won’t even listen to music I really like because I don’t feel like I deserve to.
But that’s all a bit silly. A not-insignificant part of how I’ve bunged up my life is from hiding and thinking like that.
Yeah, I’ve fucked up a whole lot of things. But I’m still here, and I still have hope. I don’t need to hide or wait.
I have to figure out how to function (functionally), I have to figure out how to transition (beyond just e), I have to figure out how to get grades that aren’t absolute shit (sigh)
But it’s not hopeless; I’m not too far gone. I’m still here. I still have hope.
I can move forward.
Xenotime, Librarian of Æther :trans_fedi:
npub1wm…6gvgx
2026-02-20 06:36:50 UTC
Author Public Key
npub1wm2s54c7s0kysu5ajgxscqzk27vx8uvs28ga9skr7pu90rx8th4q86gvgxSeen on
wss://relay.momostr.pinkPublished at
2026-02-20 06:36:50 UTCEvent JSON
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