everyone should be running their own relay at this point.
quotingIt's your relays. You need better relays.
nevent1q…szye
quotingWhat is better?
nevent1q…hm9k
If you are very tech-savvy, then you run your own relay on a juiced-up remote server. If you have frens who are tech-savvy, they might let you use their remote relay. Ex: WoT relays. But beware: these tend to be flakey because they're just someone's hobby.
If you want something really performant, that someone else runs, then you pay for a relay. Something like nostr.land, theforest.nostr1.com 🌲 or filter.nostr.wine will tend to be a real game-changer. They tend to have monster servers, do a lot behind the scenes and spend hours every day on admin and relay dev tasks.
If none of the above and you are on Android, then at least use #Citrine 🍋 and turn on the new aggregator. That gives you a local relay you can read from and write to, and republish from.