Charlotte Walker

Hi, I’m Charlotte, I’m late 40s and I relocated from London to #Pembrokeshire in west #Wales five years ago. I currently work as a #criminology #research assistant at Swansea University and I’ll be starting a #psychology #PhD in October 2024. My interests include #MentalHealth, #QualitativeResearch, #books, #running, #fitness, #cats and capybaras. Bisexual, cis (pronouns: she/her)

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purplepadma_at_beige.party@mostr.pub

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nprofile1qqsrmcuwfqhmd3uacff3c2wjwada44s86xy4v8s89yzmnl9qq43dnlcpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0wd68ytnsw43q7nwtf4

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Last Notes

2024-08-02 13:30:57

In tears reading everyone’s kind messages. Mood is low today, I spent all morning in bed unable to do anything. I’m too frightened to look at my inbox to see my supervisor’s response. I have my first therapy session in an hour, I might wash and get changed first. Thanks, all 🫶🏻

2024-07-27 16:16:42

I’ve had a nap and I’ve unpacked my suitcase! I feel I deserve a medal, silver at the very least. One for team GB.

2024-07-02 15:36:20

Ooh! Another job interview! I’m not sure it’s doable as I think from what they’ve said, they would want me to go to London once a week though. Should I do the interview anyway? I guess you never know?

2024-06-18 18:02:40

Screw it, I’m going to try making risotto in the oven. I have a recipe. I love risotto but hate all the stirring making it on the hob. Wish me luck!

2024-06-14 09:53:59

I didn’t get the job 🥺

2024-06-05 02:36:08

It’s no surprise to me that I’ve barely slept tonight, but it is frustrating. I’m listening to some binaural beats which are supposed to prepare you for sleep but I might get up and make some hot chocolate ☕️ Insomnia is so boring!

2024-06-04 12:02:17

I like immigration. I like not to have serious skills gaps in our services. I like mixing with people who grew up in other countries. I like being enriched by other cultures. I would like the feeling that my country opened its arms to people fleeing terrible situations elsewhere. I don’t understand why other people don’t think like this

2024-05-31 09:40:04

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@npub150l…r96e I actually feel pretty groggy, as bad as if I had a med hangover! I never wake refreshed

2024-05-31 08:56:51

Good morning, I had a long, deep sleep without taking any sleeps meds.,Off to the hospital pharmacy now, let’s hope they’ve managed to get hold of my meds. Then coffee in M&S, but will they have any cheese scones?? #BakeryRoulette

2024-05-30 09:28:34

Conversation with a friend yesterday
Him: I’ve never been to Indonesia
Me: I thought you’d been to Bali?
Him: Bali, yes, but not Indonesia
Me (confused): Bali is in Indonesia
Him: No it isn’t
Me (starting to doubt my own perceived reality): It definitely is
I had to pull out my phone, type “Where is Bali” and show him the result “Bali (/ˈbɑːli/; Balinese: ᬩᬮᬶ) is a province of Indonesia” for him to believe me.
Oh to have the confidence of a white boomer man etc etc

2024-05-19 19:04:56

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@npub10zv…nz7m Nope!

2024-05-19 18:56:37

I may have mentioned this before, but my best friend consumes no news. Zero. Not from TV, radio, internet news sites, newspapers… she doesn’t use social media. The other day she asked who the Prime Minister is right now. I reminded her that this a basic people of information medics check you can remember to see if you may have a brain injury. I don’t know if I’m appalled by or envious of her stance. It’s a conscious decision, and she says it brings her happiness

2024-05-18 13:22:22

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@npub150l…r96e I’m wearing this tonight https://www.mountainwarehouse.com/santorini-womens-wrap-jumpsuit-p55366.aspx/mixed/ Will go with my nails

2024-05-18 13:21:20

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@npub150l…r96e I love jumpsuits but I’m too self-conscious to wear short playsuits like this. Going to the toilet is a mega pain however, it’s true!

2024-05-18 08:48:54

Good morning, I actually had a great sleep! The sun is shining again and I’m off for a manicure. All is well and I hope the same for you

2024-05-12 11:10:03

I have achieved more this morning than I have in weeks. Washed up, boiled/steamed the potatoes, eggs and beans for a tuna Niçoise salad, potted up 5 plants, two of which were v large and quite time-consuming. Still lots to do but I’m pleased with myself

2024-05-10 10:39:46

Well my meeting with the pro-bono psychotherapist was a bust. He doesn’t believe in bipolar and thinks it’s basically a marketing ploy by Big Pharma. So that’s really not a good fit with me and my worldview, the diagnosis makes sense of my experiences in a way no other explanation has. Guess I will have to shop around for a therapist.

2024-05-06 09:17:23

Wanted to have breakfast at a garden centre but mood too low to get up in time. We’ll still go and buy some bedding plants. Just feel utterly miserable and so very tired. Sorry for the constant moaning, I must be so boring to follow!

2024-05-04 10:31:23

A thing is in the wrong place. Maybe it fell. Maybe Tom moved it. Maybe I moved it and forgot. But no, apparently the most likely cause is that supernatural forces moved it to screw with me and cause me distress. I can’t shake the feeling now. I hate my brain 😔

2024-05-02 10:05:48

What if I just… never leave the cafe 😂

2024-04-28 20:31:18

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@npub1wuj…6uhc She’s such a cutie! Keep us posted!

2024-04-28 12:19:48

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@npub150l…r96e I had chocolate for breakfast

2024-04-28 11:18:22

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@npub150l…r96e I hear you. I got out of bed and it was a mistake

2024-04-26 14:40:00

At the country pub
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/338/020/267/161/879/original/8361e06e5d9847d8.jpeg

2024-04-25 06:44:07

Since I have spoons galore, I’m going to wash my hair for the first time in a week! Then I’m going to wash up. Then - I don’t know

2024-04-24 18:57:33

Someone tell me something cute or funny, please. I’m struggling here and need a dopamine boost!

2024-04-24 13:39:24

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@npub150l…r96e My hair really does need washing. I brushed it this morning for the first time since Saturday. But idk if I have the spoons

2024-04-24 13:08:01

What on earth am I going to do with myself this afternoon??

2024-04-16 18:02:53

Pasta bake is in the oven! Now I just have to tip some salad leaves from a bag into a bowl. Not sure I can cope with slicing cucumber. 100% serious about that

2024-03-12 08:31:28

Good morning. I slept a long time yet I feel physically and mentally weary. I need to go out for a walk but do I want to do that in heavy rain? Probably not. I’m sure I’ll be OK once I get into my work. The cat is bored, getting into mischief, she’s fed up with being indoors but she doesn’t like the rain either. Where has my motivation gone? Are you feeling any perkier?

2024-01-19 13:08:52

I’m a little depressed today and so, so tired. I worked from 9-11 then went back to bed until 12.30. I had a horrible dream that I couldn’t walk or speak or open my eyes but could only crawl about and mumble (this happened to me once many years ago when I was very mentally unwell and had been through something traumatic, I can only assume it was a form of dissociation). Fortunately that turned out to be true but I’m struggling this afternoon nevertheless. I have basically written off work for the day as I don’t feel in a fit state :blobCat_blanket_cry:

2023-12-29 18:56:07

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@npub1fpr…lyph I hope I can make it until midnight! I’m an early bed person

2023-12-29 18:33:34

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@npub1fpr…lyph @npub128a…lww3 Tom and I are going to our friend B’s. He is an older divorcee who would otherwise be alone so I asked him if he’d like company and he said that would be delightful. He is cooking us a lamb curry and Tom is going to prepare a trifle. B lives less than 15 mins walk away so no need to take the car and for Tom to limit himself to one glass of fizz. Looking forward to it

2023-12-28 16:06:15

I had an amazing nap!

2023-10-02 20:56:59

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@npub1fpr…lyph I did have a good singing voice, but I seem to have lost it somewhere along the way 😢 I’m hoping if I go to this group regularly, it might come back. This group however is not for “talented” people, it’s open to absolutely anybody regardless of ability, and I like that

2023-10-02 20:34:56

Back from singing group! It was fun but it was as a different teacher who didn’t even introduce herself, which given that it was supposed to be a taster class to encourage new members was pretty rubbish. I know who she was as I’ve crossed paths with her before, but not everyone did. But the actual singing was great. I am definitely more comfortable singing alto with my voice being so rusty. Not sure if my soprano voice will come back with practice.

2023-09-27 12:16:18

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@npub1a25…l27u @npub1nr7…8w6p Miss Cinnamon likes to get on the bookshelves *behind* the books and push them out onto the floor. I don’t think she’d last long at librarian school

2023-09-17 12:13:54

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@npub128a…lww3 @npub1m6v…n9vs Agree, my main advice would be to get there several hours early so you don’t have to rush and have plenty of time to find the check in desk in case there is a queue. Then you can go through security and relax. Are you flying into Heathrow?

2023-09-15 18:19:57

I put the radio on expecting to hear my favourite music show, and was outraged that it was something different. I went and checked the schedule and guess what? It isn’t Saturday!

2023-09-14 16:13:11

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@npub1fpr…lyph In the county of Surrey, in southeast England. The journey from southwest Wales is about 6.5 hours by train with two changes. Not ideal but hopefully I won’t have to do it too often going forward.

2023-09-14 16:01:37

I haven’t been for a run because an email came with details of my PhD programme induction sessions! I have instead spent the time excitedly booking my train tickets and hotel (the campus is too far away to go there and back in a day). My first session is next week, eek! Then another in October. I’m all of a flutter now. I’ve also been trying to sort my student IT out, the uni system won’t run on my version of Safari so I’ve had to update my entire OS which of course takes ages, just when I’m impatient to get going #phdchat #PhDLife #phd

2023-09-14 11:06:24

I got up. I got dressed. I went downstairs. I contemplated. I was not ready to face the day. I went back upstairs and lay on the bed, fully clothed, and dozed off again. I am now creased and crumpled, and also somehow still tired? I find it hard to get going on a non workday, and I don’t have any work for the next two weeks… difficult to motivate myself. Anyone else feeling perkier, and could you lend me some of your perk please? TIA

2023-09-13 18:11:28

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@npub15te…wdn7 @npub128a…lww3 It’s more complicated that that… Tom and I are not flying, we’re driving. We’re getting an overnight ferry from the UK to northern Spain then driving southwest to Portugal… my BIL and SIL are taking the train from where they live in Barcelona and meeting us on the Spain/Portugal border and picking up a car there. My head is hurting trying to coordinate it all

2023-09-13 17:24:07

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@npub128a…lww3 @npub15te…wdn7 It’s just that we only bought tickets to this specific airport to go to that specific villa. If we’re not going to that villa now, we could go anywhere in Portugal- but we’re stuck with 3 tickets to Porto in the north and we’d like to look in the south. They can be amended but at a ridiculous cost

2023-09-13 16:00:17

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@npub15te…wdn7 Yeah. We’re just stuck with 3 plane tickets we can’t change

2023-09-13 15:50:45

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@npub15te…wdn7 We’re pretty disappointed. Better not say more publicly 🤣

2023-09-13 15:40:14

I haven’t achieved anything I set out to today. We ended up scrabbling around trying to salvage our 2024 “family holiday” as half the group have dropped out over the past few weeks and we are now down to just 7 of us. All that work trying to locate a villa for 15, now we have to cancel it. Thank goodness it’s fully refundable. I feel jaded and disappointed and just wish people had said at the outset that they either didn’t want to go or couldn’t commit.

2023-09-13 08:01:02

Hello everybody, I’m feeling much more like myself this morning. I’m going to try to resume my normal routines, which means going for my morning power walk into town now and going for a run later. I no longer feel nauseous so I’m happy to cook tonight as I usually do. Just very confused as to what day it is and reliant on my devices to tell me. How are you this fine whatever-day-it-is?

2023-09-09 17:19:35

Just boarded and waiting for takeoff. The people next to me were staying in a guesthouse in the medina with no one else there except the night watchman who left without them. They spent the night among rubble with the local residents. So you see we had it easy #Holiday2023 #Marrakesh #Morocco #MoroccoEarthquake

2023-08-18 14:54:56

Just did my training run for the day, it was very short and very easy but #TrainAsONE says, “Some of your upcoming runs may appear short. This is usually due to your recent running activity necessitating a gradual but controlled increase in your training and should go away as you follow the plan. Currently your longest planned run in the next 6 weeks is estimated at 98 minutes.” Um, 98 minutes??? Within six weeks?? I have never run for longer than 45 minutes! I will believe it when I see it! Anyway, while I was in town it started raining heavily and since I was in my running gear, I ran home to dodge the raindrops! #running

2023-08-14 21:31:54

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@npub1fpr…lyph Way ahead of you!

2023-08-13 21:06:18

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@npub150l…r96e Only once, I’m open to trying it again

2023-08-13 20:27:19

Fighting against evening anxiety but I think I am winning for once. My plan now is to do some #yin #yoga in my PJs then get get right into bed to sleep afterwards. It’s raining heavily and I’m enjoying the sound. Back to work tomorrow… just 9 days left of this contract, I want to finish two more papers including one that requires a lot of data analysis first. If I run out of time I am willing to put in some unpaid hours to get them finished but I’d rather not!