LRRR ON EARTH / is on Nostr

I AM LRRR, SUPREME AND UNQUESTIONED OVERLORD OF THE SURREAL. STUCK IN AMERICA IN EARTH YEAR 2023. SEEKING TRANSPORT TO OMICRON PERSEI 8. FUTURE CONQUEROR OF YOUR PLANET. OMICRON MALE. HE/HIM/YOUR MAJESTY. DO NOT LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES.

CONNECTIONS TO CANON ARE TENUOUS AT BEST.

Last Notes

2024-03-08 23:24:05

ALLOW ME TO CLUTCH, AND THEN YANK ON, YOUR PEARLS FOR YOU.

2024-03-02 01:44:41

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@npub1sfl…gczt I HADN'T THOUGHT THAT FAR AHEAD. PRESUMABLY DIFFERENT TYPES TO SUIT PERSONAL PREFERENCE.

2024-03-02 01:05:35

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THERE WILL BE LOTS OF AIR MATTRESSES AND TWO BARRELS OF PERSONAL LUBRICANT. OBVIOUSLY.

2024-03-01 20:06:03

BEIGE PARTIERS: AS THE RESIDENT HULK AND MORAL CENTER OF OUR INSTANCE, I AM WORRIED ABOUT WHAT FEELS TO ME LIKE AN INFLUX OF MEANNESS INTO THE FEDIVERSE. WE MUST RALLY TOGETHER. ACCORDINGLY, I THINK THE TIME HAS COME TO PLAN OUR NEXT CONVENTION. MY VOTE IS FOR A LUAU-THEMED GATHERING AT THE ISLAND VOLCANO IN THE FORBIDDEN ZONE THAT IS SHAPED LIKE A GIANT SKULL.

2024-02-26 23:38:26

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@npub1jma…0as2 BLOWING THINGS UP IS ALL WELL AND GOOD, BUT MY GOAL IS TO LAYER ON THE REMINDERS THAT EVEN IF HE DID GO TO SPACE, NONE OF US OUT THERE WOULD HANG OUT WITH HIM.

2024-02-26 23:27:40

GOING TO MARS FOR SOME BUGGALO-B-Q. TELL ELON, BUT TELL HIM HE'S NOT INVITED.

2024-02-26 23:16:04

IT WOULD BE SO SIMPLE. DRILL AN OPEN HOLE TO THE CORE OF THE EARTH AND USE THE INFINITE POWER OF HELLFIRE TO RUN MY LASER.

2024-02-26 04:43:30

ME: AN ALIEN KING STUCK ON EARTH, LOOKING FOR DOPAMINE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES.
YOU: AN 800-FOOT-TALL MANIFESTATION OF MAN'S NUCLEAR HUBRIS, ACTIVELY LAYING WASTE TO TOKYO WITH YOUR TERRIBLE STRENGTH AND LASER EYES.

2024-02-19 06:54:21

Ooc: the worst thing that happened to my poppler today was that he had to sit on the toilet when he didn't want to. He's three. He has a speech impediment and long blond hair and my wife's eyes. He is fundamentally silly. He's tall for his age and he can count past 100 (this week, he told me he can't stop counting because "numbers go to infinity!"). He likes to fall asleep holding someone's hand.
You can imagine the worst things that have happened to three-year-olds in Gaza. You don't want to. But you can. Tiny bodies shattered by bombs made in a congressional district you live in, or have at least driven through. Little hands blown off by Israeli soldiers who will celebrate with dances on TikTok. Futures swallowed by the unholy monstrousness of war. Loved ones who will never come back. Hunger that will last for a lifetime. Thirst that cannot be quenched. Tears that dead parents cannot wipe away. Dreams that will never come. Hands that will never be held.
Today, potty training was the worst thing that happened to my son. He might have a tummy ache from his potty-incentive chocolate chips. And he will fall asleep holding my hand. He will never be the object of extermination. And yet, despite myself, I will cry and I will imagine. I must imagine.

2024-02-17 04:29:25

DRINKING SOUP FROM THE SKULL OF A PROPERTY BROTHER IS HIGH ON MY BUCKET LIST.

2024-02-16 22:12:19

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@npub1jma…0as2 FEELS LIKE YOU HEARD WRONG. IT'S PROPAGANDER.

2024-01-24 03:21:21

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@npub1waj…c4zf PRESUMABLY AS A WRITE-IN.

2024-01-19 04:12:40

NOTICE HOW I HAVE NEVER ONCE ASKED TO BE TAKEN TO YOUR LEADER? I HAVE NOTHING TO DISCUSS WITH FORMER MANAGEMENT.

2023-12-15 19:42:39

*THIS* IS THE RIGHT WAY TO GET TO OUTER SPACE AND JOIN THE GALACTIC COMMUNITY OF PLANETS.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/111/586/119/285/243/075/original/8d9f02ccc39ce1f9.jpg

2023-11-30 05:48:46

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU CRAWL BACK TO THE DENTIST AFTER A DECADE OF POVERTY AND NEGLECT? I AM ASSUMING THAT THEY CARVE A SCARLET "D" INTO YOUR CHEST, KICK YOU DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS, CALL EVERYONE YOU KNOW TO SHAME YOU, AND CHARGE YOU A HUNDRED GRAND TO PULL ALL OF YOUR TEETH. IS THAT ABOUT RIGHT?