Hazel Weakly

I have thoughts. Lots of thoughts. They never stop thinking. Never stop thunking.

Public Key

npub1sm7rwfu85wfas20chlh3urz4zc4gr63galgtj7jhc9wq62q24whs49qmql

NIP-05 Address

hazelweakly@hachyderm-io.mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqsgdlphy7r68y7c98utlmc7p323v25pag5wl59e0ftuzhqd9q92htcpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujuerfw36x7tnsw43qqynqa8

Publishing to

relay.ditto.pub

Author Public Key

npub1sm7rwfu85wfas20chlh3urz4zc4gr63galgtj7jhc9wq62q24whs49qmql

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Last Notes

2026-03-24 10:26:50 UTC

She go to KubeCon day two. No more talks from me, but that just means I have all day to wander around and say hi to everyone!
https://media.hachyderm.io/media_attachments/files/116/283/671/068/391/497/original/96aecb47d7428cdb.jpeg
https://media.hachyderm.io/media_attachments/files/116/283/671/162/122/927/original/d64b728c4ea922a6.jpeg

2026-03-23 09:09:00 UTC

Hello #KubeCon! I’m speaking today on building extensible platforms and I can’t wait. And for those of you building platform shaped projects… I have a challenge for you, if you’re feeling ambitious 👀
As always, please feel free to say hi if you see me!
https://media.hachyderm.io/media_attachments/files/116/277/702/775/999/010/original/b60f0b749aff7cbb.jpeg
https://media.hachyderm.io/media_attachments/files/116/277/702/851/880/199/original/f8a94367257c059f.jpeg

2026-03-20 18:05:22 UTC

Seated next to the cutest pair of baby lesbians on the Eurostar and it makes me so happy to see people comfortably being themselves in a world that increasingly doesn’t want them to be
What a nice end to such a lovely and beautifully intense week

2026-03-19 17:39:54 UTC

I gave the most viscerally personal and vulnerable talk of my entire life. Oh fuck. That was deep. I loved it, and it was perfect for this conference. But oh wow, I am gonna feel the emotional whiplash of that for a while (in a good way)
I feel so privileged to have had this opportunity ❤️
Thank you for inviting me, @nprofile…0nh8, and my sincere appreciation to everyone who makes Monki Gras happen. This has been magical (and I can’t wait for the rest of the conference!) https://hachyderm.io/@hazelweakly/116255356819541070

2026-03-19 10:26:07 UTC

Monki Gras 2026 Here I come!
This is probably the most nervous for a talk I’ve been in a long time. But I’m so excited to give it and there’s no other conference I could possibly give this talk at
https://media.hachyderm.io/media_attachments/files/116/255/354/348/478/371/original/33a0b6f981c17693.jpeg
https://media.hachyderm.io/media_attachments/files/116/255/356/790/905/079/original/3181bd224db251c7.jpeg

2026-03-03 22:25:53 UTC

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@nprofile…ynd9 Petting a dog 😍
It’s been so long since I’ve pet a strangers dog. There’s something magical about it. Like my friend has a dog. He’s great. But petting strange puppy who has happy smile? BLISS

2026-03-02 21:22:43 UTC

Poll: should “reaction emojis” (which are called reactji, apparently??) be considered a valid form of email, and should your email client let you send react-o-mail?
Like = fuck no
Repost = absolutely fuck not

2026-02-28 21:53:17 UTC

Attention: I have hit inbox zero on every work and personal email
Please clap, it took me hours 😭

2026-02-01 09:59:19 UTC

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@nprofile…ynd9 I have so much FOMO right now. Ugh!! I’ll be over there as soon as I can. This is one of *the* rooms to be in right now :)

2025-12-05 09:29:22 UTC

It sure is surreal to be sitting here watching all of US tech infrastructure slowly reach a point of Going Solid as the over extraction of value by relentlessly pursuing efficiency leads to the inevitable outcome… brittleness

2025-04-12 19:25:31 UTC

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Candidly, there’s another dimension in here people are forgetting:
You can’t tell the difference between
- they’re burned out but will thrive in your company
- they’re burned out and you’ll make it worse
- literally any minority
I’ve hired all of them. I’m glad I did, and I’ve never regretted it
I told someone once about how a person I helped hire was so burned out that they basically no showed at the company until we had to let them go.
They asked “how did you change the pipeline to avoid that?”
I didn’t. I’m glad we hired them. To me, in fact, they were evidence the pipeline worked.
They were super competent and fucking awesome. I wanted more than anything for them to succeed.
It broke my heart to see how the environment just wasn’t fitting for them. It happens, but I felt like I failed them
Last I saw, they’re thriving at their new company and I’m stoked for them
So why do I call it a success? It’s because I wanted to hire people who were capable.
Being burned out, traumatized, disabled, or oppressed doesn’t make you less capable.
It sure as hell fucks up your odds in most hiring pipelines though.
If your pipeline only selects able bodied neurotypical cis white dudes with 110% energy and who aren’t burned out, your pipeline isn’t selecting for talent or for capability or for intelligence, it’s selecting for privilege
The worlds on fucking fire: consequently, so are the people you’re hiring

2025-04-12 19:24:43 UTC

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The way I solve this now is by making cheating essentially structurally impossible. You can’t cheat at a “test” where the entire point is assessing:
1. Do you have intellectual humility
2. Do you work well with others
3. Do you evaluate info coherently + critically
4. Can you adapt on the fly
Seriously, you can’t cheat at that. That’s the whole point. If you can cheat at “being a coachable and excellent person to work with” then congratulations, you’re… doing great??
Or maybe you’re not! That’s fine. Processes are inherently imperfect. Trying to make interviews perfect just hurts them.
Interviews should highlight incompatibilities mutually, long term. They should also let people shine their brightest.
I hire for strength, and I don’t lose sleep over whether or not I’m mitigating weaknesses. I’d rather keep the filters low and let people be their authentic self.

2025-04-12 19:23:52 UTC

Wanna know how I got my first job? I was groomed for the test by my future coworker
How? He gave me a problem and drilled it. He gave me a rubric too. Then I practiced at home for hours
When I tested the next morning I was horrified: I thought it’d be similar, but he had given me the *exact* test
Needless to say, I saw the rise of AI related fears compelling companies to interview in person coming from a mile away. If tools exist people will use them. If you can cheat, people will.
Any company thinking they can detect cheaters cost effectively are in for a rude awakening.
After all: the system can be rigged by the interviewer, too.
On one hand, because it was an internship and the skill level needed was so low I learned on the job and did fine.
On the other hand it was a fairly solid test. Practical, even!
Honestly, I genuinely didn’t have the skills at the time; I probably shouldn’t have been hired for another month
The point is I did an in person and fully sandboxed test with no internet access or phone, and was 100% prepped through it, without my knowledge.
I thought I was getting advice, not being taught how to memorize the answer key.
The only thing in-person tests do is ensure only nepotists can cheat.
Also guess what: my complete lack of skillset got completely covered over until I finished learning on the job.
I can’t stress enough: literally any performance metric you design will be subverted by your own employees if they want to. And they will. Especially in this economy.

2025-03-28 19:40:29 UTC

How much emotion should you express during a tech talk?
ALL OF IT
(📸: @nprofile…cd50)
https://media.hachyderm.io/media_attachments/files/114/241/754/134/737/512/original/783f8b48cecdf7bf.jpeg

2025-03-06 01:45:33 UTC

Question for OSS maintainers: what’s the most audacious work a company has ever asked you to do for free?
I’ve heard of some projects being asked to fill out security questionnaires for free, but I don’t have a firsthand account of that and it got me curious about what else projects have been asked

2024-03-24 21:26:36 UTC

I love explaining complicated subjects in a quippy way that isn't necessarily wrong. For example:
Kubernetes is 20 while-true loops in a trench coat pretending to be a container orchestration platform.
What are your favorite quippy ways to explain a complicated topic? It could be anything! I'm just curious what y'all have :)

2023-08-30 15:51:14 UTC

One of the hardest and most valuable things you can do as a company is the following:
1. Have a fully up to date org chart
2. Have a diagram that is not the org chart that accurately reflects how work flows through the company
3. Have an up to date and accurate diagram and explanation of what the company does and how it does it (architecture, revenue funnels, business value streams, code-bases)
Scaling decision making is *impossible* without a shared context to build alignment off of.

2023-08-20 17:06:12 UTC

What is there to say about @npub1tj5…g6gv except that she was an absolute force, too large to ever be contained by this world? All the same, I do wish the world had tried a little harder to keep you in it, because I'm going to miss you terribly. The advice, the chats, the wild speculation about the meaning of life, the dinners, the evening you were.
Thank you for everything, Nova. But especially for being a friend.

2023-08-09 11:06:11 UTC

The last 24 hours have been some of the roughest, most brutal, most draining, most discouraging, and most disheartening I have experienced in a very very long time. I am tired, I am worn, I have not slept, and I am so exhausted. I am too tired to cry.
Does anyone have cheerful anything right now? News, puppies, pictures, anything? ❤️

2023-07-05 16:41:45 UTC

Guess who's name change is gonna be official in 28 hours?! SO EXCITED
I mean, I'm gonna now have to go to *everywhere ever* and do an absolutely unbelievable amount of paperwork which is making ADHD me die on the inside
BUT! NAME! WOOHOO!

2023-03-26 09:26:51 UTC

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#[0] escaping and preprocessing is just so much more complicated than it has any right to be 😭

2023-03-26 02:42:30 UTC

The server spelled my name super wrong, but on the upside, I am now a dining philosopher
👉😎👉
https://media.hachyderm.io/media_attachments/files/110/087/275/029/256/643/original/f05a1f55c5212ba7.jpg

2023-03-25 17:30:53 UTC

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2023-03-25 17:19:16 UTC

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#[0] #[1] ideal/8

2023-03-25 17:19:04 UTC

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2023-03-25 17:17:45 UTC

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2023-03-25 17:16:42 UTC

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2023-03-25 09:00:04 UTC

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2023-03-25 08:58:21 UTC

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2023-03-24 23:10:14 UTC

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2023-03-24 23:09:15 UTC

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2023-03-24 16:20:37 UTC

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2023-03-24 16:14:06 UTC

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#[0] 💁‍♀️💁‍♀️💁‍♀️ I'm working on it!

2023-03-24 14:09:13 UTC

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2023-03-24 14:06:10 UTC

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2023-03-24 06:22:52 UTC

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#[0] brilliant. what a sales pitch. i believe it

2023-03-24 06:18:18 UTC

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#[0] thanks 🥰

2023-03-24 06:17:39 UTC

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#[0] fuck yeah 🔥🔥🔥

2023-03-24 05:00:30 UTC

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#[0] ✨💪 hell yeah!

2023-03-24 04:59:17 UTC

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#[0] 💁‍♀️ you too can become a hot buff chick, just sayin'

2023-03-24 03:36:56 UTC

Entering my hot girl phase and loving every minute of it
https://media.hachyderm.io/media_attachments/files/110/076/164/769/006/084/original/81f43759ba874f20.jpg

2023-03-24 01:50:35 UTC

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#[0] any time! ❤️🖤❤️

2023-03-24 01:48:22 UTC

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#[0] omg that's glorious. I wish I could've seen the contrast

2023-03-24 01:42:59 UTC

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2023-03-23 22:11:19 UTC

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#[0] oooh this looks awesome (but I admit to being completely out of my depth here. I can get an inkling of the coolness, but I've got no idea the implications of this)

2023-03-23 20:07:12 UTC

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#[0] I swer too fuk Laurie, if this causes a bank run

2023-03-23 20:06:26 UTC

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2023-03-23 19:50:37 UTC

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#[0] it was recorded and it'll be online and available in a few weeks!

2023-03-23 19:26:57 UTC

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2023-03-23 16:05:43 UTC

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2023-03-23 16:05:27 UTC

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2023-03-23 15:00:26 UTC

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2023-03-23 14:45:47 UTC

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2023-03-23 14:33:22 UTC

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2023-03-23 06:49:06 UTC

I had so much fun hanging out with Kelly today! It's so awesome to vibe and just chat about sociotechnical systems, security, runtimes, chaos, resilience, and so much more fun stuff ❤️
I think I accidentally got her interested in TLA+ too, whoops...
#[0] #[1] #[2]
https://media.hachyderm.io/media_attachments/files/110/071/245/215/390/993/original/6c57aa9d505080bb.jpg