ADHDean

You may know me as the man who coined the word “spaghettivacation”  Humor, mostly. Rants, sometimes. Midvale School For The Gifted Alum.  Kindness costs nothing; give it to everyone you meet. Husband, dad, friend, ally. I really do have ADHD. Protect trans kids.  Photos I post are taken by me unless I state otherwise. Please don’t steal them.  Banner pic: (not by me) Charlie & Snoopy a la Van Gogh’s Starry Night  Avi pic: yours truly looking perplexed and yet somehow powerfully sexy

Public Key

npub1t79ed5yv755p603zwrjnacv5nt946xynjf7ez9fy6l3zkdm7n2ps9fjqxd

NIP-05 Address

adhdeanasl_at_beige.party@mostr.pub

Profile Code

nprofile1qqs9lzuk6zx022qa8c38pef7ux2f4j6arzfeylv3z5jd0c3txalf4qcpz4mhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumt0wd68ytnsw43qzyd3p9

Publishing to

relay.mostr.pub

Author Public Key

npub1t79ed5yv755p603zwrjnacv5nt946xynjf7ez9fy6l3zkdm7n2ps9fjqxd

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Last Notes

2024-07-31 03:46:46

#SongInMyHead this evening: Angel From Montgomery - the Bonnie Raitt version
https://youtu.be/toJ3ZYWRh24

2024-07-30 15:25:12

If worshipping an angry, incoherent, convicted felon and grifter isn’t weird, I don’t know what is.
They’re weird. And not in the good way like so many Mastodon users are weird.

2024-07-28 21:16:19

MCU Geeks: I can suspend belief and enjoy this actor pretending to be Iron Man
MCU Geeks: I cannot suspend belief if the same actor pretends to be Doctor Doom in an alternate reality

2024-07-27 03:01:03

Friendly reminder that polls are just as meaningless when your candidate is ahead as they are when the opposing candidate is ahead.
VOTE.

2024-07-25 00:01:12

Whether it was a bullet or a piece of shrapnel that hit Trump’s ear, I can guarantee that I’ve been more grievously injured by a Taco Bell spork.

2024-07-24 15:17:39

The stuff I’m reading about the police and Secret Service response to the attempted assassination of Trump almost seems like they kinda wanted the dude to succeed.

2024-07-24 00:08:02

Elon Musk rescinding his $45M/mo campaign donations to Trump because of not wanting to “subscribe to a cult of personality” is f*cking rich coming from him, but I’ll take what I can get when it comes to a poke in Donnie’s eye.

2024-07-23 00:08:20

Just to make sure I’m being thorough, I want to announce that I, ADHDean, a person with dozens of followers on social media, 100% endorse Kamala Harris to become the Democratic nominee.

2024-07-17 12:59:56

I’m an American Sign Language interpreter, so for me, every single job is a near Deaf experience.

2024-07-16 12:11:44

I’ve been wanting to pay penance for wrongs committed in my youth, so I drove in Atlanta traffic today.

2024-07-14 23:41:40

Republicans: guns Guns GUNS
Also Republicans: wait, not like that

2024-07-14 19:47:20

All those folks on social media posting paintings of Jesus with Trump clearly don’t know either of them.

2024-07-14 05:09:33

What’s most surprising to me is that Trump didn’t grab a kid to hide behind.

2024-07-13 01:21:52

Just got a WebMD magazine in the mail.
Think about that for a minute.

2024-07-12 19:15:10

Times are hard for all of us, so let’s celebrate the little wins: turds like Alex Jones and Rudy Giuliani losing every penny for being awful shitstains on the toilet bowl of extremism.

2024-07-11 19:59:43

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@npub1r9k…st4e Huh. Once again, not a trans or gay person. I’m sensing a trend here.

2024-07-10 12:14:04

Today, we are shutting the hell up and letting people enjoy things.

2024-07-09 11:24:38

Why are they called horny vampires and not neckromancers

2024-07-07 15:37:26

I wonder if ancient Egyptians who narrowly avoided dying in storms would joke about having near Seth experiences

2024-07-04 02:42:53

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@npub1sfl…gczt Does this mean you prefer crunchy peanut butter, too?

2024-07-04 01:17:36

People in our town watch fireworks displays as God intended: over the local Walmart.

2024-07-02 05:00:59

Let’s bring “gadzooks!” back, but since it’s 2024, we just make it “zooks!”

2024-06-27 01:06:30

Clearly, the answer to someone saying something shitty online is to say something even shittier to them

2024-06-19 16:38:42

Mens’ Room: A Haiku
Hello pubic hair
On top of the urinal
How tall IS that dude?!

2024-06-19 01:40:46

Not becoming a billionaire because I chose a life of service and decency, as a bit

2024-06-18 22:07:20

McDonald’s AI Causes Calamity By Telling People The Ice Cream Machine Is Functioning
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c722gne7qngo?utm_source=press.coop

2024-06-15 19:22:29

The first ever hot take was by Prometheus.

2024-06-15 11:44:29

Why do we call it an auction house and not a bidness

2024-06-14 21:39:39

HE IS ALL OF US
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/617/139/459/655/346/original/1a91ab207d036588.jpeg

2024-06-13 21:13:00

Younger folks can’t possibly fathom the generational trauma experienced by Gen Xers when we’d been getting our mouths washed out with soap for swearing our entire childhoods, and suddenly Joan Collins called Linda Evans “you BITCH!“ right there on prime time broadcast television.

2024-06-13 16:59:08

The magic box in my hand tells me this is a Southern Flannel Moth, Megalopyge opercularis.
My eyes tell me we need to clean our windows.
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/610/374/063/442/337/original/1d5ebb3b887e9f00.jpeg

2024-06-10 13:49:16

Oh shit what day is this

2024-06-08 18:27:45

The thing I really, really dig about Mastodon is that there aren’t any angry people who take themselves too seriously.

2024-06-08 14:18:55

Thinking of becoming a pony tail guy

2024-06-06 17:56:47

If a professional football player at the peak of fitness can have a heart attack, I’m gonna go ahead and enjoy my chicken & waffles.

2024-06-05 18:29:17

Reminder: you don’t owe anything to strangers on the internet who want to argue. Shitheads gonna have their heads full of shit, so let them. Without a connection to you. Block them and preserve your peace.

2024-06-04 15:01:59

An imperfect administration led by an old guy doing the best they can and actually making progress in the face of overwhelming cheating and pure hate,
or
A convicted felon backed by evil money & power mongers who’s a wannabe fascist dictator who has no compunction about selling America to the highest bidder.
This is hard for you… why?

2024-06-01 00:58:58

#SongInMyHead right now: Begin by The Wailin’ Jennys
“Me, with a head full of words
And not one useful expression…”
https://youtu.be/k3gEKb4Y-xs?feature=shared

2024-05-30 00:53:30

“You DO have the right to remain silent. What you lack is the capacity.”
-Shrek (spoken to Donkey, but possibly also to me)

2024-05-26 12:26:57

- reply

@npub1j63…52qn Past Dean ground enough beans for This Morning Dean to make a pot without having to grind more. This Morning Dean likes Past Dean (this time).

2024-05-25 13:54:46

On the one hand, lots of stuff is bad. On the other hand, there are lots of amazing asses out there. Perspective, people. Perspective.

2024-05-24 14:11:21

Hey, @npub19fc…ay3c, we were *just* talking about Morgan Spurlock this week. Weird.
https://variety.com/2024/film/obituaries-people-news/morgan-spurlock-dead-super-size-me-1236015338/amp/

2024-05-24 03:50:40

The wildest thing about the latest AI ridiculousness is that we all know someone who would actually put glue in pizza if it was in the recipe.

2024-05-22 17:01:55

Sure, I’m into fitness: Fitness lazy joke into the Mastodon feed.

2024-05-21 04:47:58

Since there’s no cabal of evil billionaires running things behind the scenes, it’s perfectly legal for me to say we should kill the cabal of evil billionaires running things behind the scenes.

2024-05-20 10:10:10

Quick, what day is this and why

2024-05-19 23:27:13

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@npub19fc…ay3c Who was the guy who made Supersize Me and ended up with heart trouble?

2024-05-17 21:51:22

Waiting to see the first headline about some dudebro getting mauled because he angrily stomped into the woods to do something about Bear Replacent Theory

2024-05-16 15:00:23

Being angry about politics is fine.
Being so angry about politics that you argue with your allies and shit all over peoples silly joke posts is not.
Handle your shit, friends.

2024-05-16 13:29:42

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@npub1sac…apc0 You mean this guy?
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/451/005/894/311/254/original/1dc1d8423085136e.jpeg

2024-05-14 21:58:34

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@npub19fc…ay3c Haven’t watched yet, but I really like Alan Tudyk.

2024-05-14 04:10:57

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@npub19fc…ay3c He’s a complicated character, and you’ll learn more and more about him. I felt like Walton Goggins was made for that role.

2024-05-14 02:37:19

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@npub19fc…ay3c Every visit to a vault and found holotape paint a worse and more twisted pre-war world. It’s… a lot like real life, when one thinks about it.

2024-05-14 02:34:47

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@npub19fc…ay3c This is just the kind of insanity that Fallout is founded on. It’s got this cutesy pop culture sheen, but it’s dark to the core.

2024-05-14 02:29:05

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@npub19fc…ay3c The coin dropping for him that reality being nothing like his indoctrination was immediate and irreversible.

2024-05-13 14:22:02

The best thing about growing up the way I did was becoming an adult who broke the cycle. My kids have no schema for living in abuse, and no matter what else I do as a parent or human, I feel like that’s a pretty damned good accomplishment.

2024-05-10 15:54:10

1. Tech dudes install AI in sexbots
2. Sexbots’ AI scrape the internet, learn about Lorena Bobbitt
3. Rise Of The SexBobbitts

2024-05-02 17:25:46

When deciding whether to keep or throw away an item, ask yourself:
• Have I used it in the last year?
• Do I own another item that serves the same purpose?
• Is it required in the ritual that will stir the Old Ones to unleash their unspeakable wrath upon these pathetic gnats who call themselves humans?
• Does it spark joy?

2024-05-02 12:36:22

Actual photo of me eating
https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/371/523/831/394/836/original/0b0520fa49f1e7ca.jpeg

2024-05-01 11:13:18

Yesterday was “Teach Middle Schoolers Where Their Meals Come From” day at the camp. Results ranged from tears to questions about when the next opportunity to consume bacon would be.
Both reactions listed above came from the same child.

2024-04-27 20:33:40

Whoever coined the phrase “love means never having to say you’re sorry” was ABSOLUTELY CLULESS

2024-04-27 03:02:30

Of course I let stuff live in my head rent-free. I’m no slum lord.

2024-04-23 23:12:12

Standing with my arms crossed angrily at a jam band’s concert because there are no strawberry preserves

2024-04-23 02:55:48

Nissan Titans, GO!
#VehicleAMovieOrShow
#HashTagGames

2024-04-18 03:04:23

I think a great name for a dog would be Barchimedes

2024-04-16 22:46:01

Once, when I was a kid, my grandmother was parking on the street and I kept giggling. She asked me what was so funny, and I said “paralleloGram.”

2024-04-15 16:45:51

This is a cult psychology article dressed as a financial news article
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2024/04/14/truth-social-investors-faith-trump/?pwapi_token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJyZWFzb24iOiJnaWZ0IiwibmJmIjoxNzEzMTUzNjAwLCJpc3MiOiJzdWJzY3JpcHRpb25zIiwiZXhwIjoxNzE0NTM1OTk5LCJpYXQiOjE3MTMxNTM2MDAsImp0aSI6IjA1ZDM5NTcwLTFmZWUtNDM1MC05MTNiLWNhYjRkOWY2YmI3ZSIsInVybCI6Imh0dHBzOi8vd3d3Lndhc2hpbmd0b25wb3N0LmNvbS90ZWNobm9sb2d5LzIwMjQvMDQvMTQvdHJ1dGgtc29jaWFsLWludmVzdG9ycy1mYWl0aC10cnVtcC8ifQ.NYOGXlrMhaG0zFW-9kwpWcjCV2_1gTWnqKaPObVb6b4

2024-04-13 02:53:41

[Caribbean Restaurant]
Me: I’ll have the Jerk Chicken, please
Chicken: I took credit for your increase in Q3 sales and stole your work wife
Me: Perfect

2024-04-03 13:47:39

At Water Bottle School, the most popular game during recess is Follow The Litre

2024-04-03 04:21:21

Saw a “how to start running” article, but it didn’t mention a critical need: to have knees that work.

2024-04-01 14:27:19

You call it “procrastinating on writing invoices and only sending them in when we’re in financial dire straits.” I call it “saving for a rainy day, and let’s not get into the details of what exactly caused the rain.”

2024-03-27 22:45:52

https://media.beige.party/media_attachments/files/112/170/077/277/952/154/original/54bdf759b30ee0a0.jpeg

2024-03-24 12:53:38

Long ago, I mentioned to Jen that when talking to dogs, it’s not always the words; it’s more the tone of voice that matters. You can say something completely meaningless - or even awful - to them in a happy voice, and they get all excited.
Jen turned to our dogs, and in an absolutely thrilled sing-song, said “APPLESAUCE ON FRIDAYS!”
The dogs completely lost their minds with joy.
To this day, we still say “APPLESAUCE ON FRIDAYS!” when we are unreasonably excited about something.

2024-03-23 04:37:12

We are at the point in the spiral of our democracy that the nuclear bombs Lev Parnas has been dropping are relative to pebbles in a pond.

2024-03-21 18:39:39

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@npub1sfl…gczt So your boss prefers to stay in, I’m thinking

2024-03-21 18:38:20

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@npub1sfl…gczt Dang! How long did that take?!

2024-01-06 04:24:58

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@npub1sfl…gczt This happened not far from where we live. It was apparently a bad reaction to a new med.

2023-08-25 02:15:08

Chris Christie could boost his numbers by like 10% minimum if he posts a TikTok of himself tonight saying “I, too, am 6’3” and 215!” with a stupid grin on his face.

2023-08-20 13:17:12

Necco Wafers came back because somebody read from the Necconomnomcon

2023-08-15 20:59:23

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@npub1dm5…5sqe My OP is a kind of tacit comment about the minions who are now indicted thanks to our former president, and we’ve already heard rumblings of “my boss told me to” with regard to previous charges/indictments. Seeing the very long list of defendants on last night’s announcement has me thinking about that today.