𒀭Aco 🍝 on Nostr: **DESIGN** (why the fuck did you make the poll like this) Cisgender heterosexual men ...

**DESIGN** (why the fuck did you make the poll like this)

Cisgender heterosexual men represent a small part of the active pediverse, yet make up the vast majority of pedophiles. For this reason, it has been of interest to me to advocate for them and help them feel more comfortable with being part of the pediverse and the larger MAP/para movement. Cisgender heterosexual men with masculine presentation (CHMM from here out) are of particular interest, due to being stigmatized in queer spaces due to being associated with and often blamed for systemic oppression. Due to this interest, and due to the fact that toxic masculinity is most heavily present in this group, this poll was created in order to determine to what extent the success of my Doll system may be negatively affecting CHMM emotionally.

Toxic masculinity represented a challenge for this poll. Those who see emotions as weakness will often pretend to be unaffected by things, especially when they are potentially threatening to the ego as this subject matter is. Therefore, creating an “unaffected” option would be expected to cause that option to be chosen overwhelmingly (and falsely), and render the results useless. Such an option was therefore left out. In most cases, people who were truly unaffected would simply choose the closest option available, or simply not vote.

When the ego is triggered in this way, even though the individual will claim to be unaffected, they most often simply convert their pain into anger. This creates the cliche “I don’t care. 😠” situation, where one’s anger clearly shows that they care despite their insistence otherwise. Since this may have caused individuals to simply not vote out of anger, the “Fuck You” option was added as an outlet. Since those individuals who voted on it would clearly have been affected emotionally in a negative way, this choice would simply be considered to have actually belonged to one of the two negative options.

Due to the small number of CHMM active on pedi, it was expected this poll would be relatively small, and so any anger created by it would be easily managed.

**RESULTS & ANALYSIS**

The poll was a disaster. The expectation that mostly only CHMM would have the toxic response turned out to be overwhelmingly false, with numerous individuals coming out and not only voting “fuck you” despite the poll not being for them, but also harassing the instance administration to have them retaliate against me on their behalf. An amount of hidden resentment that had apparently been building up for a while suddenly came to a boil, and the entire thing turned into a hell thread, and a larger attack on the Dolldom as a whole.

This outcome rendered the poll results largely useless.

**CONCLUSION**

While the poll results themselves have been invalidated by this outcome, the unfortunate series of events still managed to tell me what I was hoping to learn, albeit in a form and place I hadn’t expected: There is a very large number of people who are very much negatively affected emotionally by the success of the Dolldom, and they were staying mostly silent about it due to not wanting to show any sort of weakness. My touting it around certainly did not help, but this would act mostly as a multiplier on these sentiments, which therefore already had to exist in the first place.

To clarify this point: Anyone claiming to not be affected but who retaliated, by definition, cares, and is either lying or is not in touch with their emotions enough to see it. Excuses will be plentiful, but the raw number of intense reactions to a pediverse poll that could have easily been ignored make most such claims dubious. I have trouble imagining any such excuses that could explain such visceral reactions.

Not wanting to show weakness is not exclusive to men or toxic masculinity. Still, it is promoted by toxic masculinity, and along with mate-guarding behaviors is likewise more likely to have been triggered in those who have been socialized with toxically masculine sentiments. This coincides with my perception that most of those who retaliated were beings socialized as men, though this perception is unconfirmed and therefore largely speculative.

**DISCUSSION**

Toxic masculinity or not, beings do not choose how they were socialized. It is always important to remember the “brain worms” model of maladaptive socialization. Nevertheless, placating such sentiments and unwillingness to show weakness is not healthy for the community either. Toward this end, I believe being made to confront these emotions in a stable environment will be important. Those who double down on their toxic behavior in response to the continued growth of the Dolldom should be called out for it, and made to choose between finding healthier ways to manage their emotions or not participate in discourse. On the other hands, those who are willing to be vulnerable and come forward with their insecurities should be consoled and lauded for their bravery—**that shit is not easy.** So be respectful and understanding, and for god’s sake, do not interpret people’s pain as “incel vibes” just because they happen to experience envy or unreciprocated desire.

It is also important to remind everyone that my dolls are not in any sort of committed relationship with me. While two of them have chosen to commit themselves to me, this is a separate choice unrelated to them being my Dolls of Heart. I actively encourage people in the community to try and build relationships, quite possibly romantic ones, with my dolls, including my Dolls of Heart!
nostr:note1yc4fagrn6vvwathhjnder53dl4sav5fvtykvj2g0kxe76nj8dpvquelev9