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2026-02-02 19:26:05 UTC

The Onion on Nostr: Conservative Defends Child Molesters In Case He Becomes Child Molester Someday ...

Conservative Defends Child Molesters In Case He Becomes Child Molester Someday

HOUSTON—Insisting he still believed in the dream that Americans from all circumstances could eventually become sexual deviants, conservative man Samuel Welker reportedly defended child molesters implicated in the Epstein files Monday in case he himself some day became a child molester. “Sure, I don’t have a…
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https://theonion.com/conservative-defends-child-molesters-in-case-he-becomes-child-molester-someday/