Kirby on Nostr: You're probably not going to like this, but just to grow some balls I am going to be ...

You're probably not going to like this, but just to grow some balls I am going to be honest and say it.

I was (and still am) a loner who wanted to provide a cool service for people 3 years ago. Had no hard views on anything at the time, I just wanted to shitpost and let other people do it with no problem too. I let a lot of things slide mostly because I didn't want to lose the userbase. 2 years pass and I had the chance to speak to a ton of different people and do a few cool things over all that time. Felt bad about the things I let slide like harassing hellthreads towards friends and what not so, I impulsively tried to distance myself from the server.

This made a particular guy [he knows who he is, and if the runes are in the right place, he will definitely fling shit at me here because he hates me that much now] who was there from the very beginning very upset so he started harassing some of my buddies on the TL. Out of anger, I decided to kill the server as fast as humanly possible right then and there instead of banning him and just ending our friendship. I wish I handled it better by just putting new rules and making the server invite only like Mint suggested at the time but I was dead set on just trying to get everything over with.

I didn't have a real sense of integrity when I closed the server, never stood my ground, nuthin'. Although that's something I should've had when I'd opened it to begin with so people knew what to expect from me. Now the server's closed and my reputation as an admin has been permanently damaged because of my short sightedness. With all this in mind, I don't want to reopen Lab. I've grown disillusioned with it having sat on these thoughts for months. That's all I have to say. This essay doesn't even matter.