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2025-12-16 18:59:55 UTC

𒀭Aco on Nostr: **DISCLAIMER:** *There*’*s some frustration here, but nothing personal. I think ...

**DISCLAIMER:** *There*’*s some frustration here, but nothing personal. I think this is a valuable discussion for the para community. It mostly doesn*’*t apply to me*—*I*’*m generally nurturing with sexual partners*—*but I wouldn*’*t be doing my job if I didn*’*t offer a hot take on common sexual discourse I see as unfair.*



I really do understand the intuition that wanting sex out of someone is worse than wanting romance out of them, I grew up in the same sex negative culture as everyone else. But I don’t see how it’s actually rational, and the still-new RevPara brain is telling me to buckle down on this.

What is the functional difference between “I hate how horny and goonbrained so many MAPs are” and “I hate how clingy and demanding so many AAMs are”? Do you believe both statements are equally acceptable? If not, then why?

Emotions behind these things are valid, they cause genuine pain. But it’s important that we direct them in the right places. You wouldn’t say that someone is valid for blaming the pain of rejection on the one who rejected them. And if someone insisted or even implied that someone is owed sex just because they were intimate with them, or that intimacy without sex is wrong, you would likely not take that well. So I am highly skeptical of how our culture normalizes the inverse.