The autistic trait that is the most dangerous (to myself) is how naive I am.
I donāt deliberately choose to trust people, but apparently I do. I always think Iām being smart and checking for suspicious clues toward danger with other people, but this is not done using intuition. It is done based on learning from my past, or learning from a set of rules. Iām not good at extrapolating those rules to identify warning signs in new situations that differ from my past or the rules.
I tend to fall for things that make it seem like I intentionally use rose-tinted glasses - I.e. that I only want to see the good in people and things. But itās not intentional. I donāt get those all-important signals when something isnāt right. I miss them.
I hate the feeling when I realise Iāve done it again and been blindsided for a long time by something that was dark or malicious and I didnāt have a clue. I canāt type out here the traumas that have occurred specifically with men. I donāt think Iāve ever had the equivalent happen with non-cis-het men. This means the patriarchal world, especially one where my bosses, tutors, lecturers, colleagues, peers, (some) family and moreā¦ dominate thanks to tradition. No, I donāt want to apply to work with yet another potential predatorā¦ but I need money.
[Edit to add:]
The worst is that my naivety seems to ATTRACT men. Iāve even been told this. Itās apparently like a beacon of pure innocence. Theyāre drawn to me either to exploit me or occasionally rescue me in that deeply disempowering way.
[/Edit]
I try to lean on people I trust and borrow their senses and intuition, but women generally donāt tolerate me, and least of all when Iām in need of support, and so Iām usually left to trusting men for this.
I have strong emotional empathy (I sense and feel the emotions of others, usually intensely) but I think I have little cognitive empathy (I rarely have a sense of why people do or feel what they do unless Iāve been told this or itās a near-exact repeat of a past experience).
I often feel as socially vulnerable as a child. But Iām a 40-something. I want to have the autonomy and respect of my years, but I wish it was easier to get (safe) support for my child-like automatic trust system.
Can anyone relate?
ActuallyAutistic group (npub10v4ā¦s27h)
JB š :neuro:
npub15uā¦7fxs2
2024-09-27 15:10:32 UTC
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wss://relay.momostr.pinkPublished at
2024-09-27 15:10:32 UTCEvent JSON
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"content": "The autistic trait that is the most dangerous (to myself) is how naive I am.\n\nI donāt deliberately choose to trust people, but apparently I do. I always think Iām being smart and checking for suspicious clues toward danger with other people, but this is not done using intuition. It is done based on learning from my past, or learning from a set of rules. Iām not good at extrapolating those rules to identify warning signs in new situations that differ from my past or the rules.\n\nI tend to fall for things that make it seem like I intentionally use rose-tinted glasses - I.e. that I only want to see the good in people and things. But itās not intentional. I donāt get those all-important signals when something isnāt right. I miss them.\n\nI hate the feeling when I realise Iāve done it again and been blindsided for a long time by something that was dark or malicious and I didnāt have a clue. I canāt type out here the traumas that have occurred specifically with men. I donāt think Iāve ever had the equivalent happen with non-cis-het men. This means the patriarchal world, especially one where my bosses, tutors, lecturers, colleagues, peers, (some) family and moreā¦ dominate thanks to tradition. No, I donāt want to apply to work with yet another potential predatorā¦ but I need money.\n\n[Edit to add:] \nThe worst is that my naivety seems to ATTRACT men. Iāve even been told this. Itās apparently like a beacon of pure innocence. Theyāre drawn to me either to exploit me or occasionally rescue me in that deeply disempowering way.\n[/Edit]\n\nI try to lean on people I trust and borrow their senses and intuition, but women generally donāt tolerate me, and least of all when Iām in need of support, and so Iām usually left to trusting men for this.\n\nI have strong emotional empathy (I sense and feel the emotions of others, usually intensely) but I think I have little cognitive empathy (I rarely have a sense of why people do or feel what they do unless Iāve been told this or itās a near-exact repeat of a past experience).\n\nI often feel as socially vulnerable as a child. But Iām a 40-something. I want to have the autonomy and respect of my years, but I wish it was easier to get (safe) support for my child-like automatic trust system.\n\nCan anyone relate?\n\nnostr:npub10v4vhs3yx0g5lyw7wjn3arkqdazna5v7p237m79wc9lk6d5r72lsnls27h",
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