Sir, this is a terrible idea for a whole bunch of reasons, but i will give you one:
Lets say this gets popular, what do you think will happen?
I will tell you what will happen, you can go and buy the name you wanted to register from the miner/pool that front ran you because apparently there was interest in that name the moment it hit the mempool. THEY will claim the name, not you.
so ''Register a name once on Bitcoin for ~$0.10. It's yours forever.'' is wrong. Not even accounting for what fee's might do at some point, its just not what will happen.
