R.L. Dane :Debian: :OpenBSD: :FreeBSD: 🍵 :MiraLovesYou: on Nostr: Just now realized (three and a half days later) that I'll never again get a pep talk ...

Just now realized (three and a half days later) that I'll never again get a pep talk phone call from my mom, and it absolutely guts me.

This is right around the time that I'd get a phone call, after spending a day in an unproductive, depressive mood.
She'd be sad and frustrated that I let things go for so long without talking to someone about what I was feeling or dealing with it, but would always end the conversation saying something incredibly loving and kind.

I'm over 50, and I had three years to prepare for the loss, but it's still absolutely devastating. It's a very, very slow burn. No explosive weeping (yet), but a long-term, deep soul-owie.

I don't talk about my family or personal life too much on here, because it's the internet in 2025, duh, but man, I miss her. She was such a gem. More so than she ever knew, no matter how much we tried to tell her.

Wish I had tried a little harder, maybe.