what I am saying, I think, is two things.
1. any push for allow-list federation at bigger general-purpose instances will inherently further fracture & divide a fediverse which already has divisions (mostly based on language, but also other concerns)
2. this is my online home. I've been here nearly 10 years. I'm moving more toward selfhosting with each passing month. I will very vigorously oppose any such push, and I assure you I won't be alone in that. just saying.