"Ah yes, ‘Making the Dollar Worthless Again’—because nothing says ‘winning’ like watching the world ditch the greenback while Washington cranks tariffs and debt to new heights. Guess we’ll just pay creditors in ‘thoughts and prayers.’"
"Nothing boosts confidence like our allies stockpiling gold and trading in yuan while this administration turns monetary policy into a demolition derby. But hey, at least the debt ceiling’s a suggestion now!"