DEAR PATHETIC EARTHBAGS,
I AM LRRR, RULER OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI 8. I AM WRITING WITH RESPECT TO CAPITAL IMPROVEMENT PROJECT 25-0016-ANC, COMMONLY KNOWN AS THE VICTOR ROAD GREENBELT EXPANSION PROJECT ("VRGE"). I AM ALSO WRITING TO CALL FOR THE OBLITERATION OF GLIESE 581-C AND THE VERMIN WHO CALL IT HOME.
THE PLATTING COMMISSION HAS NOT DEMONSTRATED THAT IT HAS GIVEN DUE CONSIDERATION TO THE IMPACT OF THE GREENBELT EXPANSION ON SUBSISTENCE HUNTING AND GATHERING. AMBUSH PREDATORS LIKE MYSELF DEPEND ON WETLANDS AND DENSELY FORESTED WOODLANDS TO OBTAIN THE FIRST THREE MEALS OF THE DAY. MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON THE CONCEALMENT AND HIDESIGHTS ALONG THE VICTOR ROAD MULTI-USE TRAIL, CONCEALMENT AND HIDESIGHTS WHICH THE VRGE PROJECT PROPOSES TO ELIMINATE.
THE VRGE PROJECT THREATENS TO DESTROY MY WAY OF LIFE, MUCH LIKE WHAT I DREAM OF DOING TO THE SNIVELING WRETCHES OF GLIESE 581-C AND THEIR WICKED GARBAGE PLANET. I WOULD HAVE TO DRIVE ACROSS TOWN TO FIND AN ADEQUATE SUPPLY OF VULNERABLE JOGGERS TO MEET MY DIETARY NEEDS. HOWEVER, PURSUANT TO AS 28.15.181(A)(1)-(8) AND (10), I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE ANYMORE. IT WOULD SEEM THAT, RATHER THAN FACE ME IN OPEN COMBAT, THE PLATTING COMMISSION HAS RETREATED BEHIND THE FACELESS WALL OF BUREAUCRACY IN AN ATTEMPT TO STARVE ME OUT.
I AM A REASONABLE OMICRONIAN. PLEASE ADDRESS ALTERNATIVES TO THE WHOLESALE REMOVAL OF WILDERNESS AREAS UNDER THE VRGE PROJECT INCLUDING DIVERSION FOR SPECIES NECESSARY TO MAINTAINING OMICRONIANS. I, IN TURN, WILL ADDRESS ALTERNATIVES TO JUMPING ON EACH MEMBER OF THE PLATTING COMMISSION UNTIL THEY EXPLODE. MY ATTORNEY HAS ADVISED ME THAT THE COMMISSION'S FAILURE TO CONSIDER MINIMALLY INVASIVE ALTERNATIVES IS A VIOLATION OF THE STATE ADMINISTRATIVE PROCEDURES ACT.
I WOULD BE REMISS IF I DID NOT ALSO ASK FOR $20 TRILLION EARTH DOLLARS TO BUILD A GIANT LASER TO BLAST GLIESE 581-C OUT OF THE COSMOS. NEXT TIME, I WON'T BE ASKING.
SINCERELY,
LRRR, RULER
OMICRON PERSEI 8.
LRRR :bc:
npub17s…nxt22
2025-08-28 20:38:36 UTC
Author Public Key
npub17sgqzhmmqa2qwjgqqsutet6hzxpcud5vytxs8qywtv50fpwk5ykqenxt22Seen on
wss://relay.momostr.pinkPublished at
2025-08-28 20:38:36 UTCEvent JSON
{
"id": "02fd060f2997d98ac893d6512e0a5faed8b3123c354b75be4baf49b44cf24d48",
"pubkey": "f410015f7b07540749000438bcaf5711838e368c22cd03808e5b28f485d6a12c",
"created_at": 1756413516,
"kind": 1,
"tags": [
[
"proxy",
"https://beige.party/@LRRRonEarth/115108316208186978",
"web"
],
[
"proxy",
"https://beige.party/users/LRRRonEarth/statuses/115108316208186978",
"activitypub"
],
[
"L",
"pink.momostr"
],
[
"l",
"pink.momostr.activitypub:https://beige.party/users/LRRRonEarth/statuses/115108316208186978",
"pink.momostr"
],
[
"-"
]
],
"content": "DEAR PATHETIC EARTHBAGS,\n\nI AM LRRR, RULER OF THE PLANET OMICRON PERSEI 8. I AM WRITING WITH RESPECT TO CAPITAL IMPROVEMENT PROJECT 25-0016-ANC, COMMONLY KNOWN AS THE VICTOR ROAD GREENBELT EXPANSION PROJECT (\"VRGE\"). I AM ALSO WRITING TO CALL FOR THE OBLITERATION OF GLIESE 581-C AND THE VERMIN WHO CALL IT HOME.\n\nTHE PLATTING COMMISSION HAS NOT DEMONSTRATED THAT IT HAS GIVEN DUE CONSIDERATION TO THE IMPACT OF THE GREENBELT EXPANSION ON SUBSISTENCE HUNTING AND GATHERING. AMBUSH PREDATORS LIKE MYSELF DEPEND ON WETLANDS AND DENSELY FORESTED WOODLANDS TO OBTAIN THE FIRST THREE MEALS OF THE DAY. MY LIVELIHOOD DEPENDS ON THE CONCEALMENT AND HIDESIGHTS ALONG THE VICTOR ROAD MULTI-USE TRAIL, CONCEALMENT AND HIDESIGHTS WHICH THE VRGE PROJECT PROPOSES TO ELIMINATE. \n\nTHE VRGE PROJECT THREATENS TO DESTROY MY WAY OF LIFE, MUCH LIKE WHAT I DREAM OF DOING TO THE SNIVELING WRETCHES OF GLIESE 581-C AND THEIR WICKED GARBAGE PLANET. I WOULD HAVE TO DRIVE ACROSS TOWN TO FIND AN ADEQUATE SUPPLY OF VULNERABLE JOGGERS TO MEET MY DIETARY NEEDS. HOWEVER, PURSUANT TO AS 28.15.181(A)(1)-(8) AND (10), I AM NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE ANYMORE. IT WOULD SEEM THAT, RATHER THAN FACE ME IN OPEN COMBAT, THE PLATTING COMMISSION HAS RETREATED BEHIND THE FACELESS WALL OF BUREAUCRACY IN AN ATTEMPT TO STARVE ME OUT. \n\nI AM A REASONABLE OMICRONIAN. PLEASE ADDRESS ALTERNATIVES TO THE WHOLESALE REMOVAL OF WILDERNESS AREAS UNDER THE VRGE PROJECT INCLUDING DIVERSION FOR SPECIES NECESSARY TO MAINTAINING OMICRONIANS. I, IN TURN, WILL ADDRESS ALTERNATIVES TO JUMPING ON EACH MEMBER OF THE PLATTING COMMISSION UNTIL THEY EXPLODE. MY ATTORNEY HAS ADVISED ME THAT THE COMMISSION'S FAILURE TO CONSIDER MINIMALLY INVASIVE ALTERNATIVES IS A VIOLATION OF THE STATE ADMINISTRATIVE PROCEDURES ACT.\n\nI WOULD BE REMISS IF I DID NOT ALSO ASK FOR $20 TRILLION EARTH DOLLARS TO BUILD A GIANT LASER TO BLAST GLIESE 581-C OUT OF THE COSMOS. NEXT TIME, I WON'T BE ASKING.\n\nSINCERELY,\nLRRR, RULER\nOMICRON PERSEI 8.",
"sig": "c2524a5325b62696e30085f2de866fff3ed8108e762a2170d848b6fb3f1e59df3c989424621927da931e80287ae2915cc4aefa75892a4877c950a1b58ad3f3d0"
}